Chapter Twenty-Four

They arrived at the hospital around lunchtime. Drew could tell his grandmother was almost back to normal, as she was giving the nurse her special recipe for apple cake, which as he knew, was the best thing in the world. He bent down and kissed her cheek.

"They're moving you to a regular room in a few minutes." He greeted the nurse, then checked his grandmother's chart, pleased to see all her vital signs were normal. The nurse left the room, leaving him alone with her.

"Why can't I go home? I feel perfectly fine." She scowled at him.

"Because they need to observe you for one more night and I agree. So does Rachel, so you're outvoted." He folded his arms and scowled right back at her.

She relented. "Only one more night, though. I want to go home. I miss my bed and my flowers." She peered behind him, looking over his shoulder, her face brightening. "Oh, Asher is here. I wondered if he was going to come by."

Drew sat in the chair next to her bed so she could wave to Ash through the glass. "He was here last night too, but had to leave early this morning."

"I hope you two put aside your differences." She dragged her gaze away from Ash to glare at him.

Oh, Nana, you have no idea. "Um, yeah. We're good now. He was very worried about you."

"I'm glad you two are friends again." She pursed her lips and studied her hands.

Drew could tell she wanted to say something but held back, which was unusual for his outspoken grandmother.

"Nana, what is it? I know you want to ask me something, so go ahead and spit it out."

Her gaze slid over him; then she turned her attention back to study her fingers. "Where's your girlfriend? Isn't she here?"

Drew took her hand in his, noting how thin and fragile it felt. Her pale skin revealed every blue vein, reflecting all the hard work she'd endured during her life. He kissed her fingertips. "We broke up."

Her eyes opened wide. "You did? Why?"

He shrugged. "You were right. She got too serious, too fast. She told me how much she loved me, and I freaked out." He placed his grandmother's hand back on the bed and, with a quick glance through the window, saw Ash standing there, talking to Mike and Rachel. "I didn't love her, and I'm never going to fall in love with her. So I told her, but in a nice way."

Nana nodded with approval. "Good. I knew she was crazy about you, and you didn't feel the same way. It wasn't right for you to string her along. She's a sweet girl, but not the right person for you."

Nana held his gaze, and he shifted on his feet, a little embarrassed. For some reason, he thought she wanted to say more, but then the orderlies came in to transfer her to her regular room.

"I'll see you later." He gave her a quick kiss and left, joining his sister and the others waiting outside.

Drew could tell by the side looks Rachel kept giving him that she was dying to get him alone to talk about him and Ash.

Because he loved her and they were so close, he decided it was only right he talk to her first. But not with Mike. "They're transferring her to a room for one more night of observation." He smiled at Rachel. "Everything looks normal."

Rachel hugged him. "Thank God. I don't know what I'd do if…well, let's not think about it anymore." She held on to him.

"Mike." Drew held onto Rachel. "I want to borrow my sister for a while, all right?"

His friend had his bad ear turned toward him and didn't hear him. When he went to tap him, Rachel put a hand on his arm.

"Don't." Her voice was quiet, her eyes sad. "He's still jumpy from the attack, and if you startle him, it makes it worse." She left his side to stand in front of her boyfriend. "Hey, love. I'm gonna go talk to Drew for a few."

Drew watched them closely. The look on Mike's face as they spoke was almost worshipful. His sister deserved nothing less.

She returned to his side. "Okay, I'm ready."

After saying goodbye to Ash and Mike, he and Rachel left the hospital and went to the diner across the street. They settled into a booth and the waitress brought their coffees right away, but she didn't take a sip, instead jumping right into the conversation.

"What's going on with you and Ash?"

Here goes nothing. "We've sort of started a relationship." He took a quick sip of his iced coffee, welcoming the shock of cold as it traveled a path down his throat. A quick glance at her face let Drew know, yep, she was surprised.

Her eyes narrowed. "Jordan said he'd take advantage of you. I like Ash but—"

"Listen." He sensed his anger rising and struggled to keep it under control. "I'm tired of everyone telling me who they think is right for me and who I should or shouldn't date, sleep with or marry.

"But you have to admit I was right about Jackie." Rachel shot him a pointed look.

"Yes, Rach, and I said it, fine. You were right about that. But it's my life to live and make decisions and mistakes, if they happen. You all need to stop thinking you have the right to tell me what to do and not do. Stop treating me like a little kid instead of your older brother."

"But Drew, you and Ash? I like him. I really do, but Jordan says he's a player. I don't want you to get hurt."

Exasperated, he rolled his eyes. "So what? What if I do get hurt? It's my life and my choice."

"Well, you chose Jackie, and look what a bad choice that was. So maybe you need someone to tell you you're making a mistake." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And you're really sleeping with him? You're not gay, so what are you doing?"

His stomach dropped. One thing he'd always thought he could count on was support from Rachel. If he didn't have that, he might be lost. "Would you be upset to find out I was bisexual? I thought you of all people didn't care about things like that."

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes and make a disgusted sound to go along with it. "Don't be a jerk. I'll love you no matter what. I don't care if you're gay or bi or straight, but this seems so sudden, that's all."

"It actually isn't," he admitted. "I've been attracted to Ash for a while now but denied it. Things happened the other night, and now this is exactly where I need to be." He took her hand and squeezed it. "He's a good man, Rach. His childhood was unbearable; you have no idea. I'm in awe of what he's made of himself." His lips tightened. "I won't let Jordan bad-mouth him. If he has a problem with Ash, then he either needs to deal with it or not be my friend anymore."

A small sound of dismay slipped out of Rachel's mouth. "You've known Jordan all your life. You can't cut him out like that. He's practically family."

"Family should stand by you and support you. That's what I'm asking. As long as you're there for me, for us, that's all I need." He stood and kissed her cheek. "I have to get to the clinic. Are we good?" He held his breath, waiting for her response.

She jumped up and flung her arms around him. "Of course. I love you no matter what. And I promise to try and back off." Being Rachel, she had to get in her parting shot, like she always did. "But if Ash hurts you, all bets are off."

He laughed, shaking his head as he left the diner.

~ ~

That evening, Drew lay spread-eagled on Ash's enormous king-sized bed. Through heavy-lidded eyes he watched Ash kiss a path down his chest to the line of hair that led a trail from his stomach to disappear beneath his boxers. Who would have ever thought he'd be lying here in a man's bed, reveling in kisses so intense he could barely breathe? Then Ash dipped his tongue into Drew's belly button, and all thoughts fled leaving only pleasure and lust remaining. Ash caressed his cock through his thin boxer shorts and tugged them down, allowing his erection to spring free. The coolness of the air conditioner hit his fevered skin, causing him to shiver with delight.

"That feel good, baby?" Ash whispered, his cheek resting on Drew's thigh as he stroked Drew's cock with a strong hand. Drew arched up into his touch.

"Incredible. Don't stop." Drew couldn't help thrusting into Ash's hand, his cock leaking wetness from the head. He never remembered it being so easy to get hard. It seemed now all Ash had to do was look at him, and he had an erection. "Faster."

Ash chuckled. "Not so fast. The pleasure is better if you prolong the wait." He laid off for a moment, then straddled Drew, his large powerful thighs entrapping Drew's lower body. "I love to see you under me, begging for it."

Drew raised a brow. "Begging? I don't think so."

Ash shot him a look then dipped his head down, to Drew's surprise, bypassing his cock to tongue his balls.

Drew shifted nervously, "You have a very evil look in your eyes. What are you planning?"

Ash said nothing, then lifted Drew's hips in the air and held his legs wide open. He ran his tongue down the crack of Drew's ass, stopping at his hole.

"Shh. Close your eyes and feel."

A dark thrill ran up Drew's spine, and he complied, concentrating on the warm wetness of Ash's tongue as it licked around his hole. Trembling, Drew sought to keep his equilibrium at the first slide of Ash's tongue inside him.

"Oh God." His legs shook. He could feel Ash's smile against his skin, but he didn't stop and continued to lick and play at his hole until Drew came in a passionate rush of desire. His vision faded to black as the shattering orgasm left him boneless, sated, and half-dead with pleasure.

After several minutes, he caught his breath. "My God, Ash, what you do to me." He blindly reached out his hand, unable to even open his eyes. A smile tugged at his lips at the feel of Ash's palm sliding up to hold his hand, lacing their fingers. Lovemaking had never been so intensely personal as this. He cracked open one eye to see Ash stretched out next to him, his own cock still hard.

"I want you, Ash." Drew reached out and traced the tip of Ash's cock, tickling the slit, smearing the wetness that pulsed out at his touch. "I want you inside me."

Those magical silvery eyes flashed diamond bright. "You aren't still sore after last night? I don't want to hurt you."

"Please, I need you in me." Drew leaned over and kissed Ash. "Make me feel." He turned over on his stomach and got up on his knees and elbows. Ash rolled over and pulled open the drawer of the night table. Condoms and a small bottle of lube sailed in the air, landing next to Drew.

Drew closed his eyes, a throb of pleasure almost choking him. Although he'd just experienced an intense orgasm, his cock began to stiffen. "Please," he whispered over and over. "Please, touch me, love me." Making love to Ash had opened a wellspring of desire inside him that he'd bottled away, his guilt forbidding him to enjoy any pleasure.

"Oh, baby, I'm gonna love you so hard they're gonna hear you in the next building," Ash crooned to him in that slight Southern accent that never failed to drive him wild. An unashamed whimper broke from him at the touch of those strong fingers massaging the cheeks of his ass.

"More, please, more." He didn't care if he begged. He needed Ash inside him. When those cool slicked fingers brushed his hole and pressed inside, Drew almost wept with relief. "God, yes, please, now. Now ."

But Ash didn't listen, merely kissed down the curve of his back and continued to twist those taunting, wicked fingers inside him, brushing his gland, once, twice, three times now, until Drew saw stars and he almost screamed from both the white-hot pleasure and frustration.

"Fuck me, goddamn it."

He heard the condom packet rip, and within moments, the thick, broad head of Ash's erection prodded his entrance. Not wishing to wait another minute, he pushed back, hissing as it breached his newly opened channel.

"Baby, you all right?" Ash stopped moving, the concern in his voice evident.

"Yeah, do it." He gasped for air even as Ash slid in with care. Drew had no idea why he was so turned on, but the feel of Ash inside him gave him a high; his very skin burned with desire.

This was where he was meant to be, and no one would ever tell Drew otherwise. Ash moved then, sliding into him with long slow strokes, holding on to Drew's hips as he thrust. "Ash, harder. I'm not gonna break."

Ash leaned over him, biting his ear. "Okay, baby, you asked for it. I'm so crazy for you. I can't believe you're really here in my bed." He thrust hard, kissing him down his back. Ash snapped his hips over and over, and Drew moaned, thrashing his head back and forth, his body soaring to unimaginable heights.

Ash stroked deeper, and once again, Drew's body burned. Sweat dripped from every pore; his vision blurred. Giving himself up to this man altered him forever. He could never go back to what he was, knowing now the passion life had to offer.

"Fuck yeah." Ash let go, and Drew felt him coming as he emptied himself inside the condom. Ash shuddered, and he draped over Drew, completely spent. Drew loved the weight of Ash's strong, heavy body on top of him. To him it meant Ash trusted him, knowing he could give himself so completely and relax.

Ash pulled out with care and disposed of the condom then lay on his back with Drew tucked into his side. When he met Ash's eyes, Drew almost lost his breath at the emotion he saw shimmering in their depths. "What is it? You look almost sad, while I feel incredible." He laid his head down in that sweet space between Ash's neck and shoulder, and when Ash's arm came around him to hold him even tighter, he allowed himself a smile.

They lay together, holding one another as their breathing steadied and the world re-centered. Drew reveled in the soreness of his newly opened body, proving he lived how he wanted to for once. Because now he knew, being with Ash was truly where he was meant to be, and therefore there was no choice at all. He burrowed further into Ash's arms, comforted by their strength.

The rumble of Ash's deep voice broke the quiet. "I don't know what I've done to deserve you. You're everything good in this world, and when I'm with you, the pain gets pushed to the side. But when I'm alone, all I can think of is how I failed everyone."

"You mean Luke and Brandon?" Drew asked.

"Yes. They must hate me. That's why they never tried to find me."

In that unconscious move Drew had come to know so well, Ash rubbed the numerous scars up and down his arms. Fortunately there didn't seem to be any fresh cuts. Drew tangled his fingers in Ash's hair, forcing Ash to meet his gaze. "Why do you still do it? Hurt yourself, I mean?"

"To remind me how I've failed everyone. And to tell myself I control what I do with my body, and no one else will ever touch me again unless I want them to." His voice sounded curiously dead and flat, but younger and so very vulnerable. "I've tried to put it all behind me, all the horror that lives inside me, but it's like a leech sucking at me, and it won't let go. I thought that if I hurt myself, all my pain would fade away, but it didn't work. The pain waits for me from when I wake up in the morning, and it's still there when I close my eyes."

Ash's honesty seared him and Drew kissed his neck. "It's all right to be afraid. Everyone is afraid of something."

"I'm not afraid, Drew; I'm fucking scared to death."

And there they were. Two lost souls bobbing around in the choppy waters of their lives, desperately holding on to keep afloat. Somehow they'd found each other, and tentatively they reached out to become the other's shelter from the storm.

"Let me help you deal with it. Lean on me. Talk to me. I'm not running away." Drew rubbed his cheek against Ash's shoulder. No one would ever guess the power and confidence Ash projected was all a fa?ade to cover up his fractured and broken mind and body. "I'm here for you; whatever it takes."

"Why, Drew? Why me? I'm not sure I'm worth the effort."

The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care. Drew remembered that line from an Emily Dickinson poem he'd read in high school. He wanted Ash. He cared. Lying here with this man, listening to him open his heart, made him realize how much he cared for and wanted Asher Davis. He swept the hair off Ash's brow and kissed him. "I think you might be worth everything to me."