30. Katrin

Chapter 30

Katrin

N o matter how long we lingered, the tapers in the candelabra never burned lower. The power of The Between held them in stasis just as it did Evander. And yet, it couldn't stop the shadows taking over more of my body.

"I've been thinking," I said, closing another ancient tome.

"Good," replied Evander.

I swatted his arm playfully and pushed my lips into pout. Secretly, I was glad for the return of his good humor after his somber tale. When he finished, he'd immediately retreated into himself, and I'd given him space under the guise of collecting more books. We'd gone through several stacks, but none contained mentions of Death or Behryn. The Afterworld was a popular topic, but mostly speculations and vague warnings.

"If we can't find a way to remove the marks, we should try to figure out why I've been marked in the first place. Maybe if we know why he wants me, we can work on making me less desirable." Evander's gaze heated, and I blushed as I guessed the direction of his thoughts. "You know what I mean."

These small moments of flirtation were all we allowed to show of this thing developing between us. I hesitated to put a name to it. It was still too tenuous to be more than attraction, and I worried it was the result of proximity and loneliness and nothing more. We were two broken people testing how we fit together. Sometimes the way he looked at me made me wish it was more.

With the heat of his stare burning me alive, I struggled to grasp the thread of my previous thoughts. Finally, I turned away and began stacking books, the task helping to focus my mind. "We've been looking for accounts of Death, but if most of these are written by mortals, there would be very few factual accounts of encounters with him. We need to look for mysterious markings, shadow curses, human stories. I know you said you'd never heard of someone being marked like me, but if there was, it could at least give us some direction."

I glanced up at him, and he nodded.

"I'm with you."

I started returning books to the shelf and paused as I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. Evander waved and a rush of darkness engulfed the books. When it cleared, all the books were lined up neatly on their proper shelves.

I smirked. "I keep forgetting about that little trick."

I pulled the next book off the shelf and carried it over to the couch. Evander joined me with a stack of his own. The cushion dipped as he sat, drawing me closer. I pulled my legs up and propped the book open on my lap, increasingly aware of the dwindling space between our bodies. Forcing my eyes to the pages, I tried to make sense of the strange pictographic writing. It looked as foreign to me as the demonic language, but I dutifully scanned each page for something to catch my eye.

The soft whisper of pages being turned did little to keep my mind from circling back to the man at my side. I grasped for something to fill the void and freeze my spiraling thoughts. "How does Death usually choose the souls he claims?"

"From what I can tell, there is no rhyme or reason to it. He is indiscriminate in his culling. Only those who pass his trials are deemed worthy of entering his demesne."

"Is he a god?"

Evander scoffed. "He certainly rules like he is, but no. He is of demonkind."

As a human, it was difficult to see the distinction between the two. He may not be all-powerful, but Behryn clearly possessed powers beyond that of mere mortals. "Are demons immortal?"

"No, merely long-lived and hard to kill."

"Are you immortal?"

"I don't know. I don't think so." His eyes glazed over as he stared unblinking at the page before him. "The rules are different in The Between. Some force is keeping me alive, preserving my youth and speeding my healing. I think that I could die, but I've never tested it. I don't think it would be the kind of death that grants me passage to the Afterworld."

"You would cease to exist."

He shrugged. "It is only a theory."

His nonchalance regarding his potential erasure from life as we knew it was concerning. As someone who'd only lived twenty-one years, I couldn't fathom accepting such an outcome. Maybe I would feel differently after hundreds of years.

Evander leaned forward suddenly.

"What is it?" I asked, eyes narrowing on his white-knuckled grip of the book.

He sat back just as quickly, face showing none of the excitement I'd expected from his spontaneous motion. "Nothing. Never mind."

"It is clearly something." Inching into his space, I attempted to read over his shoulder only to be met with more unfamiliar text. "What does it say?"

He pointed to an illustration of a young man half veiled in shadows. "It describes a man with markings like yours." He flipped the page and began to read. "‘Dark shadows beneath the skin that were unable to be removed by soap or surgery.'"

I swallowed thickly as I considered what they could mean by surgery. "And? What happened to him?"

This could be the lead we needed.

"He…died before they could discover the source of the markings."

My stomach dropped. "Oh." The single syllable was all I could muster as I pushed away from Evander. I'd been so sure this was it, the clue we needed to solve this puzzle.

Evander lifted his hand. I thought he might reach for me, and I couldn't decide if I needed the comfort or the distance. In the end, it didn't matter. His hand came to rest on the back of his neck, wringing the tension out like water from a used wash rag.

"We'll keep looking," he said earnestly. "If we found one mention, there could be more."

I nodded but dropped my eyes. All the hope that had bolstered me was gone, leaving me a shell of a person. I was skin and bones, barely holding myself together as I rose to my feet. "I'm going to sleep now."

A look of concern flashed across Evander's face, quickly schooled into his usual stony expression. "Would you like me to accompany you to your room?"

"No, it's fine. I'm fine." I shook off my melancholy and flashed him one of my painted-on smiles, the kind that had satisfied my parents for years. He didn't return the smile, but neither did he follow me. I reached the threshold and glanced over my shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow—later, I mean."

"Sleep well, Katrin."

I stumbled at the sound of my name from his lips. When I started walking again, I was smiling for real.