21. The Ferrier

Chapter 21

The Ferrier

A fter shaking off the brief encounter with the lady of the house, I located a servant's staircase at the back of the house and followed it down to the kitchens.

I had no idea how much the young woman could eat, nor when I'd be able to source more food. With harvest being around the corner, I assumed her family could spare more than most. I grabbed an empty sack and stuffed it full of bread and potatoes. I found a couple early squash and some eggs and passed them to the shadows for safe keeping. Securing the sack, I handed that to the shadows as well. Like all things, it disappeared in a blink, leaving only shifting darkness behind.

I'd resented the shadows when I'd first taken up the mantle of Ferrier. To say I had done so unwillingly was an understatement, and those shadows represented all that I had lost—all that was taken from me.

Eventually, I recognized them for the asset that they were. Now, they were like a second skin, as one with me as Miss Fil'Owen's own shadows. I melted into them once more, content to deliver my bounty and answer the incessant pull of a soul in need.

My shadows, it seemed, had other plans. They deposited me back in the main entryway, slipping away to darken the corners while I watched them in bewilderment.

"What are you doing?" I hissed. Straightening to my full height, I infused every ounce of authority into my voice. "I command you to return."

The shadows stilled, becoming indistinguishable from the natural shadows in the room. Whatever the reason, they were refusing to take me through the door.

I could open it, though I liked to interact with the living world as little as possible. Opening doors and rearranging furniture was how whispers of ghosts started.

My fingertips brushed the handle, and I heard the unmistakable sound of someone in the next room. Sure enough, candlelight flickered from the partially open entryway into what appeared to be a study.

With my hand fully grasping the handle of the front door, I slowly turned it and waited for the inevitable squeak that I'd be unable to conceal without help from the shadows. Instead, a large shadow peeled off the wall and barreled into me. I staggered back from the blow, trying to wrap my brain around being assaulted by a shadow. They'd always appeared less corporeal, more akin to smoke or steam, but this had felt like being struck by a man twice my size. It knocked the air from my lungs.

Squaring my shoulders, I reached for the door handle only to be shoved back again. A third shadow swooped down from the ceiling, and I ducked before it could knock into me. What was happening?

A great force struck my back, propelling me forward. Before I could find my feet, another one shoved me. I stumbled, careening into the study door. It flew open with a whoosh of air, sending papers flying and candles flickering.

I froze in the midst of the mayhem, staring at the man seated at the desk.

The years had not been kind to the lord of the house. His shoulders curved forward, the downward tilt of his head revealing thinning hair. He took a small sip of the amber liquid he clutched in one hand, pursing his lips in distaste as he set the glass down.

"Have you come to take me as well?" he asked his drink.

I stood still, unable to move for fear of creating a larger disturbance. Did he know I was here? If he did, he'd be the first such person I'd ever encountered, though I'd heard stories of the sighted.

The lord's eyes lifted, sweeping the room. His cloudy gaze passed over me, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Whoever the old man thought he was speaking to, he could not know it was I who stood in before him.

"I'm not proud of myself. I've made choices I regret, but everything I did was to keep her safe—to keep her from you."

This wasn't the first time I'd wished I could communicate with the living—though I could for a price. Nor was it the first time I'd been mistaken for Death. Still, there was something about this man that had me wishing I could offer some comfort, and perhaps it was only his personal connection to Miss Fil'Owen, but I knew better than to get involved.

I retreated a step, thinking to slip from the room like the phantom I was. Seeming to sense my departure, the old man leapt to his feet with an unexpected burst of speed.

"Take me!" he bellowed, wild eyes frantically seeking me out. He stumbled in his haste to round the desk, only to fall to his knees, hands clenched in a pleading gesture. "Take me in her stead. Surely, the years I've collected are worth more than those she's yet to see. I would trade my life in an instant if it meant she could live."

I'd heard enough. Storming from the room, I abandoned all pretense of subtlety as the lord's pleas grew louder and more desperate behind me. I spared a withering glance for the shadows that had caused this mess before wrenching open the door and striding out.

The horses snorted their disapproval at my sudden arrival.

Slamming the door shut behind me, I took a moment to assess the rage building inside me. I didn't need the horses turning on me as well, but the old man's words had unearthed memories that were best left buried. With a deep breath in, I unclenched my jaw, shifting it side to side to work out the ache that had formed. I tilted my ear toward my shoulder until it elicited an audible pop, repeating the same action to the other side until my shoulders sagged in relief.

Finally, I lifted my hood into place, watching my shadows coalesce around me.

"These people are not my problem. Try something like that again, and I will abandon my position as Ferrier." I kept my voice lethally calm, knowing the shadows were more sentient than most knew. "I do not care if my debt will go unpaid, or I'm driven mad by the unanswered call to souls in need. I will leave this place to be overrun by ghosts until those people you seem to care so much about are nothing but haunted husks that don't know how to escape their own Hell. I have nothing to lose but myself, and I'm not certain I'm worth the trouble at this point."

The shadows eased toward me, seemingly cowed by my outburst. Though part of me wished to leave them behind, they held all my loot from the visit. I would not be making another trip to this manor any time soon. The shadows rippled away as I mounted the carriage, merging in my wake to create a small cloud of darkness around the carriage.

I felt a tug toward the wayward soul that was my quarry for the evening, but decided to deliver the food to Miss Fil'Owen first. I didn't need her passing out again in my absence.

My leather gloves creaked as I took up the reins, holding them with more force than was necessary. Without a word, the horses sprang into motion, hurrying us back to The Between.