Chapter Thirty-Two

Makhon, the Fifth Heaven, was where most of the Host resided. They held an incredible concert there that Az took me to once. Spectacular, really. The Archangel Samael ruled Makhon. Technically, Jesus ruled all the Heavens, but it seemed as if he was letting the Archangels who were previously in charge of certain heavens keep governing in his name. Whatever the case, Samael still lived in a beautiful mansion on the edge of a fairy-tale forest in Makhon with his wife, Lilith. Yes, that Lilith.

I assumed Samaels marriage to Lilith was more stable now that he wasnt a Jerry supporter. Lilith and Samael had several children, all of whom were Demons because they and Lilith had backed Luke in the war (the first big war that split the pantheon). Its very telling that Lilith earned the title of Mother of Demons, but Samael has never been called their father. Yup, theirs had been a mostly Team Luke household, but that didnt matter to their marriage. Love, for them, was beyond allegiances. I adored that about them. But in the end, Samael had changed sides in a big way.

“Its about time,” Samael grumbled as we stepped out of his tracing room. “Whats with the gas masks?”

“You said there was bleach,” Azrael said.

“Yes, but its faint. It shouldnt bother you if you dont breathe too deeply.”

I looked at Arach, Kirill, Trevor, and Viper, all of whom were wearing masks.

Viper yanked his off and gave a hesitant sniff through his mouth. He wrinkled his nose and said, “Its not too bad.”

But when Viper tracked someone, he did it a little differently than the rest of us. Thus the mouth breathing. So, I lifted my mask and took a tiny sniff. Then I pulled it off.

“Hes right. Its tolerable,” I said.

The rest of them pulled off their masks.

“You may leave them here.” Samael waved at a slender table along the wall near the tracing chamber.

He was a tall, slender man with deep sienna skin that set off his green serpent eyes. As odd as it was for an Angel, Samael was a snake-shifter like Viper, and the two men nodded at each other as if acknowledging their kinship. Their coloring was close, but Samael was much darker than Viper in all ways—eyes, hair, skin, and personality. Still, the similarities were interesting. So much so that Lilith sidled up between the men, swishing her full hips, and grinned.

“Im suddenly hungry for a snake sandwich,” Lilith drawled and tossed her thick red curls over her shoulder.

Samael narrowed his eyes at her.

“Oh, lighten up, babe.” Lilith smacked her husbands shoulder. “Im just teasing. We need some levity after all the shouting you did this morning.” She leaned over to me to add, “His eyes popped out.”

Most people would assume Lilith meant that Samael had been so upset that his eyes had bulged either literally or figuratively. But I knew better. Id seen Samaels other form. The one covered in scales. And eyes. Eyes popping out on this Angel of Death was very literal. And it only happened in extreme circumstances.

I lifted a brow at Samael.

“Someone invaded my home,” Samael said.

“You sound like Luke,” I said.

“Lucifer was robbed too?” Samael straightened. “What was taken?”

“There have been a few things taken,” Azrael said. “A trickster is afoot.”

“A trickster?” Lilith said with glee. “How fun. But how do you know its a trickster?”

“They left us clues to follow,” I said. “But their game has changed. They started taking people.”

Viper held up his hand.

“You dont have to hold up your hand. This isnt a classroom. Just speak,” Samael said.

Viper chortled. “No, man. I was indicating that I was one of the people taken.”

“Then you must know who it is.”

“Nope. They whammied me with some kind of Confusion Magic.”

“Confusion,” Samael murmured. “There arent that many gods who can use confusion against another god.”

“Do you happen to have a list?” Trevor asked.

Samael grimaced. “No. But Set comes to mind.”

“Yes, weve already considered and dismissed Set,” Re said.

Samael grunted. “Well, as I texted you, Azrael, I was only made aware of the invasion when I smelled the bleach. This person is wise enough to cover their trail when they invade the home of a shapeshifter.”

“Why have they gone back to bleach?” I asked.

“Back to bleach?” Samael asked.

“They havent bothered with bleach lately,” I said. “Because they have another way of hiding their scent.”

“What way?”

“We dont know for certain, but we think theyre using an enchanted suit,” Azrael said. “Vervain nearly caught the trickster, and they were covered from head to toe, even their eyes.”

“Nearly caught? What happened, Godhunter? Losing your touch?” Lilith drawled.

“They stabbed Viper with the Devils pitchfork. It kinda distracted me.”

Liliths eyes went wide. Then she asked, “They stole Lukes pitchfork? I thought that was just a prop?”

“Im fine, thanks for your concern,” Viper said.

“Oh, please.” Lilith rolled her eyes. “Youre a god. It takes more than a few pokes to kill you.”

“How do you make everything sound naughty?” Re asked. “Im so envious.”

Lilith chuckled. “Its a gift.”

“Back to the trickster,” Samael, used to his wifes gifts, steered the conversation in the right direction. “They had no scent?”

“No,” I said. “I mean, yes, correct, and no, they didnt have a scent. I followed a trail they left me, but the scent turned out to be attached to a Christmas decoration and not them.”

“A Christmas decoration.” Samael narrowed his eyes. “What else was taken?”

“If you say Jesus, Im going to pee myself like a puppy,” Lilith declared.

“Funny you should say that,” Az muttered.

“What?” Liliths eyes went wide. “They abducted Jesus?”

“No, but they took a puppy,” I said.

“What?!” Lilith screeched.

“She loves puppies,” Samael drawled.

“The puppy is fine,” I hurried to reassure her.

“Oh, good.” Lilith fanned herself, her long nails flashing red.

“Azrael, if you would please go through the events that transpired like a rational adult?” Samael asked dryly.

“First, they stole the Ark of the Covenant,” Az said. “But then they left it in the desert of Araboth.”

“Theyre taunting us,” Samael said.

“Yes. It would appear so.”

“Showing us that they can take a great weapon, but that they dont need it.”

“Now, that is an interesting point of view,” Odin said.

“It didnt occur to you?” Samael lifted a brow at Odin.

“Weve been busy playing the tricksters game,” Az said before Odin could reply. “They replaced the items in the Ark with clues for us to follow.”

“Clues enchanted with spells to mess with us,” I added.

“And then?” Samael rolled a hand in a get-on-with-it motion.

“They took Cerberus and Princess,” I said. “Princess is Persephones dog. Shortly after that, they stole Lukes pitchfork. The clues they left in the Ark led us to Hell where we found Cerberus and Princess, the latter strung up over Aarons rod which was disguised to look like the pitchfork.”

“Hades . . . another underworld king.”

“Jesus is not an underworld king,” Az said.

“Yes, I know. But your father is, and Im looking for connections.”

“We think they might be after Azrael,” Arach said. “Everyone targeted has been close to him. The last person taken was a Wild Magic child living in the neighborhood outside the Golden Citadel.”

“Could be Azrael. He certainly has ruffled some feathers.” Samael nodded. “Or this person could want you to think its Azrael. The theft of the Hound of Hades and Persephones puppy is strange. If they were tormenting Azrael, there are others who would make better victims. The trickster may simply be moving from one random target to the next based on proximity and ease.”

“Then where do you fit in?” I asked.

“Now, that is a good question.” Samael crossed his arms. “You say they havent used bleach lately?”

“Yes.”

“Lilith and I have been in the South of France for the last week. Im not sure when exactly the Pasha was taken. As you know, the bleach scent is not overpowering. Lilith didnt notice it at all.”

“Right,” I said. “We didnt consider how long it would take for that scent to dissipate.”

“You think they stole the Pasha first,” Az said.

“I think the theft may have occurred while you were running around, chasing clues.”

“So the Ark was a distraction to get the Pasha?” I asked. “But you were gone. They didnt need a distraction.”

Samael shrugged. “They wouldnt have known we were in the Human Realm.”

“Or maybe they did,” Trevor said. “They seem to know a lot.”

“How do they know a lot? That is the question,” Arach said.

“Indeed,” Odin muttered.

“Show me where the Pasha was kept,” I said.

Samael led us through his shiny hallways, the floors done in green marble so dark, it was almost black. Then down we went into the subterranean levels of the mansion.

“I wouldnt have even known the Pasha was gone if I hadnt smelled that bleach,” Samael said. “I came down here immediately to check my safe rooms and found one of them open.”

“You have a safe room?” Viper asked. “Get scared a lot, do you?”

Samael frowned at Viper while Lilith laughed.

“He thinks you mean one of those secure rooms that humans lock themselves in when someone invades their home,” Lilith said.

Samael grimaced at his wife, then transferred the look to Viper. “I do not.” He continued down the corridor. “I have rooms to keep my treasures safe.” He waved his hands to either side as we passed steel doors that thrummed with magic. “This trickster must be powerful indeed. Not only did they invade my home without my knowledge, but they also got past this warded door without breaking the ward.” He stopped before a room and opened the door by placing his palm on it.

The door swung inward, and Samael waved us inside.

For a treasure room, it was spacious and neat. No piles of gold on the floor. Instead, metal shelves held labeled wooden boxes and crates. It looked like the storage room of a museum. An empty table stood in the center of the room and that was it.

“It was kept in this box.” Samael went to one of the shelves and motioned at an open wooden box.

The design was simple. Youd never know a soul-stealing noose had lain inside. It wasnt even lined in velvet. Samael obviously had no reverence for the Pasha. He simply wanted to keep it out of the hands of those who would abuse its power. Fair enough.

I went closer, then drew back. The scent of bleach was stronger there. “Ugh. They doused the box in bleach.”

“Yes.” Samael grimaced and waved his hand toward the room. “And they took nothing else.”

“Did they disturb anything else?” Odin asked. “Is there a residue of bleach on anything other than that box?”

Samael blinked. Looked around. Finally, he said, “No.”

“Now, that is interesting,” Arach drawled. “They went straight to what they wanted.”

“Who else knew that you kept the Pasha in that box?” Odin asked.

“No one,” Samael said firmly. “Not even Lilith knew where I kept it.”

“He wasnt keeping secrets from me. I simply didnt care,” Lilith drawled.

“You told no one?” Re asked. “And yet the trickster went right to that box. Impossible. Someone must have seen you or you told someone and have forgotten.”

“I assure you,” Samael said stiffly. “After the battle with Katila, I returned here with Lilith. She went upstairs to bathe, and I came down here to secure the Pasha. No one saw me. No one else was present, especially not down here. And I would remember sharing the information.”

“Not if you were confused,” Viper said. “My memories of being dazed are very sketchy.”

“I would remember being dazed. I was not dazed. I have never been dazed.”

“Then how would you know what it feels like to be dazed?” Viper grinned.

“Viper, please,” I said.

“Sorry. Trying to lighten the mood.”

“The mood is appropriate,” Samael said. Then he looked at Az. “Should we warn the Demons?”

“Oh, for Satans sake,” Azrael growled. “I didnt think of that. The damn Pasha.”

“You didnt think of it because weve already discussed this,” Odin said. “The Pasha was not made to be a soul stealer. Katila was a unique god. I dont believe another god will be able to use the Pasha as he did.”

“With all due respect, Odin, you dont know this god,” Samael said. “Ive only just been informed of the goings on, and I already know that this trickster should not be underestimated. If they can get past my ward without alerting me, they can find a way to use the Pasha in whatever manner they wish.”

“Ill take that as a yes, I should warn the Demons,” Lilith said and drew out a phone—from where I couldnt tell you. Her outfit was skintight, and I hadnt seen any bulges that werent put there by nature. Or magic, rather. Whatever. Lilith started texting, her long nails tapping the glossy screen. “There. Group text. Done.”

“What did you tell them?” Samael asked, his tone wary.

“To be on guard for soul-stealing ninjas.”

“Oh, Lilith.” Samael rolled his eyes.

“What? Vervain said they were covered from head-to-toesies. I assumed they were in black. All villains wear black when they are up to no good. Its an unwritten law. A person creeping about, covered in black equals ninja. And you just said they could steal souls. Therefore, soul-stealing ninja.”

“But that was a unique ability that Katila developed,” Odin said.

“Why else take the Pasha?” Samael countered. “It has only one purpose—to extract souls.”

“Yes, to extract souls, but not to consume them. That was Katilas twist on the magic.”

Samael shrugged. “Potato pohtahto, Odin.”

Lilith giggled. “That was funny, darling! Well done.”

“Was it?” Samael frowned. “I wasnt trying for humor. This trickster has stolen people. Now, they have a god item that can extract souls. That means they can upgrade to stealing souls. Stealing them. I didnt say anything about the trickster consuming them.”

“This guy is too much,” Viper whispered.

“Lets head back to Pride Palace,” I said. “The Squad will be arriving at the Golden Citadel soon, and it might help to have multiple minds on this.”

“Youre having a meeting?” Samael asked.

“Yes, and youre welcome to attend,” Azrael said.

“Oh, wed love to!” Lilith exclaimed. “Can I invite a few friends?”

“No,” Samael and Azrael said in unison.

“Just family then.”