Chapter 33

Imparting bad news was never a pleasant undertaking. One never knew how the recipient of such unfortunate tidings would react to what you were about to say. Of course, one may also prevaricate on the matter, but what good would that do to anyone? It was better to give out the whole truth in bulk, to get it over and done with in one sitting, rather than prolong the agony for everyone involved.

Alice already had a vague idea of just how her announcement was going to impact both of her parents.

Disappointment is going to be the order of the day.

This was, after all, the only serious prospect she had had in all her three Seasons. To have her betrothal called off before a fortnight… it was not a particularly good look.

She sighed and steeled herself.

"Mama, Papa," she said softly. "There is something I must tell you."

It was a sunny afternoon in the parlor of Brandon Estate in London, and Lady Brandon was idly embroidering a handkerchief for Phoebe. The Marquess, looking greatly improved from his brief sojourn in Fitzroy Hall, closed the paper he was reading, his deep green eyes trained intently on his eldest daughter.

Alice took a deep breath as she looked at both her parents and then hung her head.

"I want to call off my engagement to the Duke of Blackthorn."

The words came out in a rush, and she feared for a moment that her parents did not quite catch what she just said. Silence hung in the cheery parlor, but inside, she felt dreadfully cold. It was like a perpetual winter had set in her heart. How ironic that the sun would choose to shine so gloriously as she roiled in her heartbreak.

The paper rustled as the Marquess folded it and set it aside. "What did that brat do to you?" he asked her, his eyes glinting.

Alice shook her head emphatically. "Oh, no, no! He did not do anything."

And was that not the most painful thing? That he did not do anything at all?

She had given him all of herself, and still, the demons of his past had a much stronger hold on him than she had ever imagined.

The Marquess snorted. "When he came running into our home, begging for your hand in marriage, I told him that his whole proposal hinged on whether you would accept him or not."

Alice looked up at her father in shock. She had not thought that her father would not so easily give her away to what was probably her best suitor.

"Well then, that is that, I suppose." Lady Brandon smiled, setting aside her embroidery.

Alice looked at her mother. "Y-you… are not disappointed in me?"

The Marchioness looked at her strangely. "Now, why would I be disappointed in you, dear one?"

"Because I should have put in more effort," Alice choked out. "Because His Grace was the best suitor I have and-and?—"

"And he does not make you happy," her mama told her firmly. "Clearly, since you are so distraught."

Her father smiled simply at her. "Betrothals are not fixed, Alice. Marriages are. If you had indeed married the man, and he proved to be unworthy of your affection, it would have been far more devastating for your mother and me."

At his words, Alice could no longer hold back her tears, and she rushed to them. The pain and the longing she had kept pent up in her heart broke open like a dam, and she sobbed openly as they held her in very much the same way they did back when she was a child and so, so very ignorant of love and its foibles.

She felt her mother rub soothing circles on her back as she laid her cheek on her father's knee while he affectionately stroked her hair.

"What about the gossips?" she asked her mother softly. "What if they talk?"

Lady Brandon let out a most unladylike snort. "When did they not? Gossips will always talk, my dear. That is simply how it is."

"But what about Phoebe? What if she is affected by the failure of my betrothal?"

"Do you really have so little faith in your sister's capabilities?" Her mother laughed. "Phoebe can manage well enough on her own without having to sacrifice your happiness to boost her own popularity."

Alice let out a hesitant smile. "That is true. Phoebe has accomplished in a few short weeks what I have not accomplished in three Seasons."

She felt a light pinch at her side, and she yelped a little.

"Now, I shall not countenance such talk from you, young lady," Lady Brandon admonished her. "You and your sister are different, and you each have your own strengths. Do not worry too much about this, and simply direct your efforts towards more meaningful pursuits."

"You mean to say that I may indulge in my hobbies once more?" Alice teased, although deep in her heart, she knew she might not feel the urge to do anything in the immediate future besides surviving the rest of the Season.

She looked up to find her mother smiling most determinedly.

"On the contrary, my dear, you had best prepare yourself," Lady Brandon told her with a wry smile. "With our breaking off the betrothal, it will only make those gentlemen ever more eager to pursue you."

"What do you mean, Mama?"

Lady Brandon laughed lightly. "I have simply had more experience than yourself in maneuvering the ton, my dear. If the Duke of Blackthorn had chosen to court you properly instead of directly asking for your hand in marriage, we would have seen a great increase in gentlemen callers asking for you. Naturally, they will be most curious to find out what His Grace had seen that they managed to miss for all of three Seasons."

"You make me sound like some novelty in a circus," Alice groused, although there was a slight smile on her face. "Or some new specimen to be studied."

At least her mama was more optimistic about how the rest of the Season was going to pan out for her and Phoebe. Alice, however, was not so certain she might be able to entertain suitors so soon after everything that happened.

"Now that you intend to call off the betrothal, this would only pique their curiosity more," her mother continued. "After all, you will become the woman who was strong enough to refuse the offer of a duke—there will not be many with the same fortitude or the means to do so, and that is very, very attractive."

"Whatever your mother says, dearest," Lord Brandon threw in softly. "She is far more experienced in this field than I am."

Lady Brandon beamed at her husband. "Naturally."

Her husband smiled back at her. "Naturally."

"All you will have to do," her mother told her, "is be yourself. Do not hide and mope in your rooms. Go out on picnics and promenades. Go shopping with Phoebe and Scarlett on Bond Street. I know you are a fantastic dancer—it will be particularly useful in the coming balls."

In other words, do not show defeat. Do not wear your heartbreak on your sleeve.

Alice did not know how she would be able to manage such an endeavor, but she knew she had to. If she so much as faltered or showed weakness, the gossips would hold onto that, and it was not only her reputation that would suffer, but Phoebe's as well.

For the sake of her sister, she must be brave. Braver than she had ever been.

It was not going to be easy, but it would at least give her something to focus on besides the pain that was now timed to the rhythm of her heartbeat.

But after that… Alice did not dare look too far into the future. For now, it was enough to just take it one day at a time.

* * *

Her father chose to summon Colin to his study three days after she first broke the news to him. Alice had not been home at that time, as she had been accompanying her younger sister to purchase some items, which took them the better part of the entire afternoon.

In short, their paths did not need to cross for the breaking of their betrothal.

At first, this piece of news made waves amongst the ton, and everyone was eyeing both Blackthorn Estate and Brandon Estate for more news of the same. Fortunately, both estates had trained their servants well, and beyond the official announcement that the betrothal between the Duke of Blackthorn and the Lady Alice Barkley had been called off, there was not much that the gossips of the ton could sink their teeth into.

Business carried on as usual, and everyone shifted their attention to the next bit of news—namely, that all Wolves—were presently unattached, and therefore, the young misses could renew their efforts in capturing their attention.

Throughout all of this, Alice chose to remain silent and let the rumors die down on their own as Lady Brandon had advised her. She still went out on promenades in the Park with Phoebe and Scarlett. She also attended two balls with her sister, where it soon became the consensus that aside from her exceptional beauty, Lady Alice Barkley was also an extraordinary dancer.

This particular discovery meant that she would never again find her dance card empty, and gentlemen were soon flocking to ask for a gavotte or a quadrille or so.

It was after one particular ball that she found herself sitting on her favorite window seat in Brandon Estate with a book of Shakespeare's sonnets lying forgotten on her lap as she stared out the window.

In the week since their betrothal had been called off, she had not seen Colin, although she and Lady Evelyn crossed paths. Aside from that one time when Evie apologized for her brother's "abominable behavior," there was no mention of him again.

I wonder how he is doing.

She stared out at the street below. It was not as busy as the rest of London, so there was hardly anything to watch.

The sound of a throat being cleared jolted her out of her thoughts and she jumped a little when she saw her father smiling at her.

"May I join you, my dear?" he asked her gently.

Alice nodded and scooted over to the side to give him some space. She surreptitiously studied her father, noting that in spite of her failed engagement, he did not seem more sickly or pallid as he had been at the start of the Season.

"How are you doing, dear one?" he asked her.

"I am… well," she murmured. "As well as can be expected, I suppose."

Her father made a noise of assent, and for a moment, a companionable silence descended upon them.

"The Duke was most gracious when I told him that you intended to call off the betrothal," he told her softly. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced at her. "One might even say that he expected it beforehand."

Alice smiled wryly at that. "Well, it was a mutual decision between us both. We decided that our temperaments simply did not match."

"Oh, yes, I had a feeling that they would not," Lord Brandon agreed with a most sagacious nod. "I had seen it the moment he first came to seek your hand in marriage."

"If that is so," Alice frowned at him, "then why did you allow the betrothal, Papa?"

The Marquess chuckled softly. "Oh, he was most insistent on it, and I did tell him that if you would have him, then I would not stand in the way—and you wanted him, did you not?"

More than you can ever imagine…

"Most tempers are never a true match, Alice," he sighed softly. "As you can see, your mama and I… well, anyone would say that we are as different as night and day."

She managed to laugh softly at that. "Yes, it does boggle the mind how well you both managed."

"We did not, at first," Lord Brandon admitted with a twinkle in his eyes. "But we managed simply because we wanted to. If one of us had decided to cry off, then things would be much more different today."

Alice lowered her gaze and bit her lower lip. What her papa said was true—even if she wanted it so much that she was willing to do anything, it was all useless if Colin himself did not want it.

And he did not.

"Well, your mama tells me that you have caught the eye of several gentlemen of good standing." Her father smiled at her and stood up. "If there is anyone you have your eye on, you may tell me. As for the rest—well, I have my ways of taking care of them."

Alice laughed as he once more left her to her own thoughts. Her mama had been right yet again—breaking off the betrothal had only gained her more suitors, not less. Now, there were callers for her as well as for Phoebe.

The only problem was that none of them was Colin, and she did not know how she was ever going to tell her parents that.