Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

There had to be a rule somewhere that guests were forbidden to drop by in the week after a wedding—especially those who came without prior notice.

However, even his usual cold glares and scowling could not move the two men who now occupied the sofa in his study, try as he might.

Guests really should know when their presence is not appreciated. Friends all the more so.

“I thought that it was customary to leave newlyweds alone in the days after their wedding,” he remarked glacially.

“Apparently, Colin did not get the notice.” Ethan snickered but promptly shut his mouth when Daniel glared icily at him.

“Neither did you, it would seem,” he shot back.

He was truly not in the right mood to be dealing with his friend’s remarks, however well-intentioned they were. All he wanted to do was drink himself to intoxication—or at the very least, numb that damned feeling that seemed to have seized his chest ever since he left Evie in his study that morning.

Even the thought of exiling Thomas Salsbury to the Americas hardly gave him the satisfaction anymore.

Perhaps exile was much too lenient. But if I did even more, Evie would have some words to say about it.

And he really did not want to cause her any more undue stress than what he had already caused her.

“And he was right to do so,” Hudson told him pointedly, his low voice barely a rumble as he looked at Daniel with a raised eyebrow. “More or less, you coerced the lady into marriage for your devious purposes, without being forthright with her.”

Daniel winced inwardly at his words but chose not to say anything. He simply poured himself another glass and downed it, relishing the burn down his throat.

Hudson was the most reclusive of their group, and for him to come out at such a time spoke volumes of how much his actions had affected all of them.

Daniel groaned and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “That is the worst part of it—that he was actually right. I admit I should have informed him beforehand of my intentions to marry Evie.”

Ethan simply raised an eyebrow at him and then accepted a glass of brandy.

“I should have been honest with her, as well,” Daniel added with a sigh. “That might be my greatest regret in all this.”

“Well, acknowledging one’s own faults is the first step to recovery.” Ethan grinned at him.

Daniel did not know how many glasses he already had but still poured himself another one.

“I do not know if there will be any way to recover from this,” he said with a grimace. “I might have hurt Evie far too much to ever make it up to her.”

“You have the rest of your life,” Hudson grunted. “You owe her that much.”

And Daniel knew that damn well. He knew that even if he spent the rest of his life making it up to her, it would never be able to compensate for the hurt he had caused her.

The look in her eyes in his study still haunted him in a way that nothing ever did.

Not even his own mother’s death in his arms had quite the effect on him.

At least Thomas Salsbury and his odious sister will not be able to bother her anymore.

With the Earl and the bane of Society’s existence carted off to the Americas by the next morning, Evie would never have to worry about that poor excuse for a man haranguing her. He had made sure of it.

Ethan sighed. “I think you still have not learned your lesson in all this, though.”

“What lesson?” Daniel laughed bitterly. “Thou shalt not covet thy friend’s sister?”

“Do you know how blasphemous that sounds coming from you?”

“I have never professed myself to be a religious man,” he scoffed at his carefree friend.

Living off scraps, he had learned early on not to rely on the mercy of others or God. He had known better than to rely on others for his survival.

And he had managed well enough on his own until Evie crashed into his life, and all of a sudden, there was nothing in this world he wanted more than her.

But in his selfishness and arrogance, he had destroyed all of that.

“You might not believe in God, but you should at least have some hope that some good will come out of this,” Ethan told him softly.

Daniel smiled bitterly.

“At the very least, he owes her an apology,” Hudson remarked coolly. “That is if he can muster up the courage to beg for her mercy in Blackthorn Estate.”

“There is no hope for me now,” Daniel sighed. “It is over. My only wish is that Evie will live well after this.”

Hudson raised an eyebrow. “How is she supposed to live well when you mean to annul the marriage after only a day? Do you not think that the ton would hesitate to drag her over the coals for this?”

“They would not dare!” Daniel growled. “I would like to see the first one to speak out against her.”

“You do not wish to remain married to her,” his reclusive friend continued. “But what will you do when she finds another man who will marry her?”

Daniel felt his chest clench painfully at Hudson’s words. He had meant to annul the marriage so that Evie could find someone better suited for her. Someone who could give her what he could not—children, a family.

A happy life.

He would never be able to give Evie that. Not when he had given his life to ensuring that the Stanton line would end with him.

Ethan shook his head. “You do not want to remain married to her, but you cannot stand the thought of her marrying someone else. Even I would tell you that is simply preposterous, Ash.”

“What does it matter what I want?” Daniel bit out harshly. “It is over—there is nothing that can be done about it now.”

His two friends shared a look, and Ethan let out a soft sigh of disappointment. Hudson was still very much aloof, but his fingers around his glass had tensed up considerably.

“Let him be, Ethan,” Hudson finally said.

As much as Daniel wanted to believe that things could be made right again, that he could undo all the hurt he had caused Evie and spare her from more of it, he knew that he could not. The only thing that he could do was make sure that she would never experience it again.

Unfortunately, that meant that he would have to remove himself from the equation.

Whatever it takes to ensure her happiness going forward, I will do it—even if I have to spend the rest of my life in misery.

Sleep does not come easily to one with a broken heart.

Ever since Daniel had walked out on her in his study in Ashton Hall, she had felt a kind of tiredness that seeped deep into her bones. However, try as she might, she could hardly get a wink of sleep, even when she had Jane bring her a cup of her favorite chamomile tea and warm milk with a bit of honey.

Evie stared up at the canopy of her old bed in Blackthorn Estate, biting her bottom lip. A few weeks ago, she would have wanted nothing more than to be back at home, away from Daniel and his overbearing tendencies. Her brother might have a streak of overprotectiveness a mile wide, but at least he did not meddle in her business all the time.

Now, she would give anything to have Daniel show up at their front door.

Or her window.

Or anywhere, really.

But I know better than to expect such things.

A tear slid down the corner of her eye.

Colin and Lady Spalding had effectively driven him away from her. They had both ruined the greatest happiness she had ever known, and as much as she loved him, she would never be able to look her brother in the eye without wanting to hit him.

Or cry—which was worse, really.

Evie wanted to be strong. To show her brother that she was capable of making her own decisions and loving a truly complicated man like Daniel Stanton, but Colin was unfortunately stubbornly set in his ways. Alice might have been able to exert some pressure on him, but then, it had been much too soon into their marriage for it to have a much more significant effect.

A soft knock sounded at her door, and she frowned a little.

I thought I had instructed Jane that I did not want to be disturbed for the rest of the night?

Before she could say anything, the door swung open slowly to reveal her new sister-in-law in a plain mint-colored dress, her lovely dark brown locks done up in a simple style that gave her a refreshing, youthful look.

“May I come in?” Alice asked her softly.

Evie had not felt like rising from the bed for a good week or so, but she made an effort to at least prop herself up on some pillows as she tried to smile at her sister-in-law.

“Of course,” she managed.

“Jane told me you did not eat your dinner,” the brunette murmured sadly. “Is there something you at least want to eat? I can tell the kitchens to make it for you.”

Evie shook her head with a sad smile. “That is very kind of you, but… I do not think I have quite the appetite for it.”

Or anything, really.

A broken heart was truly something—it had robbed her of sleep and any appetite. She could not even be tempted by her favorite pastries, and even the sight of pudding made her want to gag.

“I mean to have a talk with your brother.” Alice reached for her hand in a gesture of reassurance. “Your brother… is a stubborn man.”

Evie smiled weakly. “That is a mild way of putting it.”

Alice laughed. “All right, he is an incredibly stubborn man.”

“But you love him?”

Evie watched as her sister-in-law’s eyes softened.

“More than anything in this world,” Alice murmured.

Evie had no idea what love was.

She thought she did, once. She thought she had read everything there was to know about it. She listened to her grandmother tell stories about it and watched Alice and Colin as they came together in what the ton called the “match of the Season.”

Still, it did not prepare her for just how slowly she had learned to care for Daniel. How she had not even realized how much he had come to mean to her until he was gone and she was left reeling from the shock and devastation.

Questions roiled in her mind as her heart roiled in pain.

Was it truly so easy for him to let go of me?

Does he find everything as unbearable as I do now?

Does he miss me as much as I miss him?

“I know that it seems as if everything is rather bleak and hopeless right now,” Alice spoke softly. “But things will get better. They always do, Evie.”

Evie bit her lower lip as she stared down at her lap. How were things supposed to get easier? Would this crushing pain in her chest eventually go away?

Or would she simply find ways to live with it?

She balked at the idea of such an existence. Could it even be called living if one continued to exist merely for the sake of doing so?

“He thinks that he is doing me a great disservice with our marriage,” she told Alice in a harsh breath. “That our marriage was a mistake and that he would make it right with an annulment.”

“There have only ever been a handful of annulments over the last decades,” her sister-in-law comforted her. “It might not be as easy as the Duke of Ashton makes it seem.”

Evie shook her head. “Even then, he has made it clear that our marriage is over.” She looked up at Alice sadly. “You see, he has only ever wanted to protect me, and with Colin telling him these things and Lady Spalding writing about us…” she trailed off as an intense wave of anger washed over her.

She had never been so furious with another person as much as she was with the gossip writer at that moment.

What right did she think she possessed to make assumptions so freely about her marriage with Daniel and then inform all of London about it with her scandalous writing?

The woman certainly had no shame!

Worse, Evie knew that Lady Spalding would have undoubtedly heard about the events that transpired earlier that day and come morning, would gleefully splash the tale across her notorious scandal sheet.

The Earl of Sidmouth and his sister truly were a pair of hateful siblings!

“You must pay that scribe no heed,” Alice told her. “She is simply someone whose life is so dreadfully lacking in entertainment that she must seek it in the lives of others.” She gazed soulfully into Evie’s eyes and added, “What you must do is hold your head up high, my dear Evie. Do not prove her right.”

“Yes, yes, you are right,” Evie sighed as she smiled weakly. “But not tonight, I am afraid. Tonight, I would much rather just sleep…”

Alice nodded. “You have had a rather tiring day. Some sleep would be beneficial and clear your mind.”

If I could even manage even a short nap…

But Evie managed a weak smile, and after a few more words of solace, her sister-in-law left her to her thoughts.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Evie simply sank into her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin as she allowed the tears to flow freely once more.

Earlier that morning, after her talk with the Dowager Duchess, she had thought that she had no more tears left to cry.

Now, it seemed as if she would be crying for eternity.

Daniel, where are you? Can you really stay away from me for so long?

She turned in her bed and sobbed quietly.

Come back… come back… come back…

It was a long time before she managed to sleep at all.