Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

“ Y ou beast, Herbert, I was going to have that bun!”

“Don’t worry, sis, I’m sure that cook can bring more out if the need is desperate.”

“It’s not desperate , it’s a point of justice .” Diana frowned at her brother scoldingly as he tried to fit as much of the stolen bun into his mouth as he could. “You’ve had twice as many as I have!”

“I rule that Diana is correct,” Stephen said drolly from the head of the table. “And find Herbert in contempt of breakfasting politeness. You shall forfeit your plums to her this instant.”

Elizabeth sat quietly with a warm, sweet coffee in front of her and several small pieces of toast. It was like this every morning now. She had been coming to breakfast since Stephen had ordered her to last week and her heart hurt a little more every day at how comfortable this family was with each other.

She was even beginning to get to know them all a little. Herbert was nearly as tall as Stephen, but more wiry and he was quick-witted and stubborn. She could tell how protective he was over his family and how much he hated having her in their home from the way he watched her every movement out of the corner of his eyes.

Selina was a surprise, Elizabeth had heard Lottie and Rose talk about her before, insinuating that she was an ugly old maid or a man-hating revolutionary. She was a very handsome young woman, a little younger than Elizabeth herself and very fierce in her opinions. Elizabeth had often seen her wandering the estate with a book or writing furiously in a study or going out to meet friends and discuss .

And finally there was Diana, barely eighteen, beautiful and round-faced with a constant shy smile and sunny disposition. Elizabeth couldn’t help but long to be Diana’s friend and loathed the fact that she could see her youngest sister-in-law’s painful shyness any time they spoke.

What kind of monstrous things did they think she thought about them? What damage would the feud between their families carry on into their home life now?

Of all of them it was her husband that was the greatest mystery. He was kind and funny with his siblings, but she only ever saw him at breakfast. He never approached her outside of the meal, she never saw him nor had he come by her chambers again. It had surprised her at first, as she had been ready for that battle to begin anew, but now she was just confused. What was this life she was living and who was this man who would hold to his promise so firmly instead of taking what he could demand, what belonged to him by every right of law.

“Sir, I protest that plums are too high a price to pay for a bun!” Herbert was saying in a dramatic tone while Selina threw tiny pieces of bread at him from her corner.

Stephen tsked and stopped the bread throwing with a gesture and a shake of his head. “Please have a mind for the maid,” he said firmly. “And as for you, Herbert, I fear you should have considered the penalties before robbing your own, dear sister!”

“Woe, woe is upon me,” Herbert cried, piling plums onto Diana’s plate and pretending not to notice as she shoved them back into his pockets. “I shall go out to the streets and starve!”

“With half of the baked goods of England in your stomach?” Selina demanded, causing Diana to giggle and Herbert to grin impishly.

They were so bright and joyous in the mornings, their conversations were so friendly and fun and Elizabeth wished so hard that she could join in. There seemed to be an invisible wall between her and the rest of the family, a different wall than there had been at home, a new and seemingly just as impossible wall to scale. Every time she opened her mouth she could see how suspicious they were of her and even though she had told herself she would not let it affect her, it only served to remind her how tenuous her position was.

Any moment her husband might decide that she wasn’t worth the trouble and might decide to cast her away or shut her away or banish her.

This was more freedom than she had ever had in her life and she was terrified that she might lose it.

“Order, order,” Stephen called, settling the family down. “Assuming that everyone has supped their fill, may I ask that the family attempt to keep disruptions to a minimum today as I have an important meeting with my accountant in my office and I do not want to be disturbed.”

It made her heart ache with how much she wanted to be inside instead of outside the wall. She wanted this, this easy acceptance and love. It was so much harder seeing what a family could truly be like and knowing that even what her family had been to each other had fallen far short of the mark.

As Elizabeth finished her toast she noticed that Diana was casting glances her way, eyes flicking to her and back to her plate as though she were afraid of being spotted.

Elizabeth was sure that Diana had a secret.

Every day she snuck away from the breakfast table and went away somewhere in the estate. She didn’t return for some time and the times that Elizabeth saw her return she had been flushed and furtive.

The plates were being cleared away as Elizabeth saw Diana stand and slip out of the room once again and this time she decided she would find out exactly what was going on with this one, almost definitely harmless, mystery.

By the time she had tracked down Diana she had gone into seven wrong rooms, surprised three maids and had an extremely awkward conversation with a gardener who had thought she was trying to inspect his roses and kept trying to take her outside.

For all that she was an outsider within the family, the servants certainly tried to impress and please her which was a feeling that Elizabeth was not used to yet.

It was the sound of singing that drew her attention to a small music room towards the east of the ground floor. It wasn’t a room that she had been in before and she was a little anxious about sliding the door open and peeking inside, however her curiosity was so strong by this point that she felt she must expire if she did not find out immediately what was happening.

Inside the room, which was mostly bare, Diana was whirling around the floor in a waltz singing to herself in a low, melodious voice. She was flushed from the activity, her dark eyes sparkling and some of her hair loose and around her face.

Elizabeth must have made some sort of noise for Diana stopped short and they stared at each other for a long moment before they both curtseyed and said, “I’m so sorry!” at the same time and then laughed.

“I am so sorry to have interrupted, Lady Diana,” Elizabeth said quickly. “I didn’t mean to intrude!”

“Oh not at all - Lady - Mrs. - Your Grace?” Diana stammered a little and her flush deepened. “What would you like me to call you?”

“Would Elizabeth be too great an imposition?”

Diana hesitated a little and Elizabeth felt her heart sink. But then she smiled and nodded. “Of course not. And you must call me Diana in return. We shall be very cordial friends.”

“We shall,” Elizabeth said, falling over herself a little in her hurry to agree. “Might I ask what you are doing in here dancing on your own? I have noticed you come to do it most mornings and I was ablaze with curiosity to find the cause.”

“Oh,” Diana fanned herself with her hand. “Oh I expect it will sound rather silly to you, but I’m ever so worried about my first season. I haven’t been out yet and I know I’m a little old now and that everyone will be paying me all sorts of attention because of who my brother is and how much power he has and everything and I couldn’t bear it if I were to mess up the dances but Herbert won’t practice with me and Selina finds it such a bore!”

“Oh - oh no,” Elizabeth said, feeling her own stomach twist a little in sympathy. She could not imagine the pressure that Diana must feel being the last Wilkins to come out and so late for her first season. “Why don’t we dance together then, I could certainly use the cheerful exercise of it!”

Diana beamed and Elizabeth knew that for once she had said the right thing. “Oh shall we? That would be wonderful. I’m sure you know all the best steps and you can tell me where I am going wrong.”

Perhaps she had said the right thing and the wrong thing.

Elizabeth gestured a beat with one hand and they took off, awkwardly humming different tunes and almost careening into each other. It was hard to keep up without any music or any other dancers, and the only times before that she had ever even been allowed to dance had been at a few fun country events that she had snuck out to with Sally.

It had been very different kind of dancing and Elizabeth waited with bated breath for Diana to point out how all her steps were wrong and she was off the beat or the most ungraceful clod in existence as Dudley had termed her.

“Let’s try a quadrille,” Diana said, breathlessly. “Come on! Follow my lead!”

The steps to this one were brisk but simple and they were soon prancing around the room, dancing towards and apart from each other, their hands joined and held high. Elizabeth found herself laughing, caught up in the moment. It was impossible to be gloomy around Diana, she thought. The girl was sunshine through and through.

“Again,” she gasped as they came to a stop. “Again!”

“A moment’s pause, I beg you, Elizabeth,” Diana said, nearly double with laughing. “I must catch my breath before I go on.”

Elizabeth nodded her assent and waited for a few minutes while Diana caught her breath and then they started again, both of them paying more attention to the steps this time as they made their way around the room.

“Oh how different this would be with a gentleman,” Diana called.

“I think so, though we’d need two to do it properly,” Elizabeth said back. “Still I think we’re getting on marvelously enough without them!”

“We are, we definitely are!” Diana bounced in towards her and then away again. “Herbert never dances with me this long, it’s lovely of you to spend so much time on it.”

“It’s a pleasure, I assure you,” Elizabeth said, and was nearly startled out of her skin when a deep man’s voice said from behind them, “What is a pleasure?”

They both stopped still and turned to the door. Elizabeth felt her face flame red in embarrassment to see Stephen standing there, his arms folded and an expression of faint bemusement on his face. “Whatever are the two of you doing? I heard a strange commotion coming from in here but I did not expect to see this.”

“My goodness, Stephen!” Diana rushed to him, no fear in her for her intimidating brother. “I have been practicing for my season, of course, I want to be ever so ready. And Elizabeth came to find me and she’s been dancing with me this morning, isn’t that kind of her? It’s so dull doing it on my own!”

“Very kind indeed,” Stephen said, his gaze unreadable as Elizabeth forced herself to meet it. “I am glad the two of you have been productively engaged.”

“It’s really been lovely,” Diana said. “Really Elizabeth you must dance with Stephen next! He’s a wonderful dancer, easily the best I’ve ever seen. Come Stephen, you must do it. She’s been so nice to me!”

“Would you like that, Elizabeth?” Stephen asked, his gaze penetrating.

She knew her face must be bright red, but she saw the eagerness in Diana’s eyes and knew that she could not let the girl down. Not after they were finally making progress. “Of course,” she said a little stiffly. “I would be delighted.”

She curtseyed, remembering from somewhere that this was the right thing to do and Stephen bowed in response, hand to his chest. He then reached out a hand to her and drew her into the center of the room.

There was no music in the air, no orchestra to play, no other dancers. Elizabeth had heard stories of the glittering events that her sisters and brother were invited to, the way the bodies moved around the floor like one, the wonderful food and wine, the beauty of it all. She had longed to go to just one.

This was somehow more magical than any real ball could ever have been.

Stephen’s hand was holding her fingertips and she could feel blazing desire across her skin. His gaze was on her own and his eyes were so intense that she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Even though she did not know any of the steps she felt as though she didn’t need to. He drew her with him, took her about the floor with a mastery of movement that made it feel as natural as if they had been doing it their whole lives.

He knew exactly how to move her body and the thought made her heart pound in her chest. Stephen was the center of her world and they could have been surrounded by crowds or all alone and it would not have made a single bit of difference.

When they finally stopped and he bowed to her, she could barely remember herself enough to curtsey back.

“Thank you for the enchanting dance, Duchess,” he said, the hint of a smile at the corners of his lips, his eyes blazing..

“It was my pleasure, Your Grace,” she murmured, wishing she could take his hand again and that she could keep feeling the way he made her burn with desire. Had any woman ever felt this way after a simple dance? Was it just her with this man? Why did he tempt her so, devour her with his eyes? Her knees felt weak as she fought to keep a blush from her face.

“Have a good day, ladies,” Stephen said, his face serious and stern once more. “Do try not to disturb the household any further.”

Diana giggled as though he were not scolding them and Elizabeth forced herself to just nod. She didn’t watch him walk away, she couldn’t. Instead she walked to the window and looked out across the grounds as he left. It was a beautiful day, but there was a storm within her heart.