Chapter Eight

CHAPTER EIGHT

M y old protégée's dark skin contrasted with her yellow pantsuit beautifully, her hair free in a halo about her head. She stood preternaturally still as she considered us.

I leaned into Ambrose as another peal of thunder boomed overhead, hopefully loud enough to obscure my words from her sensitive hearing. "Get the others to the coach. Now."

Ambrose frowned at me. "What? No. I'm not—"

"Don't argue with me, Ambrose. Please."

He must have heard something in my tone that compelled him to obey. He sent one last look at Raven before moving to stand with Cecelia, speaking to her in a hushed tone.

I stepped forward to meet Raven.

"Raven, it's good to see you."

"I was in the neighborhood," she said with a chuckle, indicating the old dilapidated road. She squinted at me and leaned forward, eyes roving my body before concentrating on my face. She sniffed loudly, her smile growing ever wider. "My. I didn't believe what I'd heard, but it's true, isn't it? You're human now."

I winced. "I know. It's … rather strange for me too." I glanced back to ensure my friends were making their way to the bridge. This wasn't a conversation I could afford anyone overhearing. "You received my letter then?"

"Letter?" Raven cocked her head curiously. "I received no letter."

I blinked. "I sent it to the inn we agreed upon should anything befall us."

Raven shrugged. "I've been busy."

My eyes narrowed, an unease drawing my stomach taut. "I don't understand. Then why are you here? How did you find me?"

She let out a whistle as she circled me. "The incomparable Count Lucian Cross, brought low. How unfortunate. And you turned to me, in your hour of need?"

I bristled at her arrogant tone. She never dared speak to me this way when I was a vampire. "Of course. You can turn me back into a vampire, and we can rebuild what the humans stole from us." It was my backup plan, my only plan, in the event that I couldn't meet Vrykolakas's demands. I would simply go through the process of becoming a vampire all over again. I might not be gifted the extra power that I'd negotiated with Vrykolakas, but I'd rather be what I was than leave immortality behind forever. Of course, this would have the added benefit of not having to jump through hoops for Vrykolakas either. I would sidestep his games and prove to him on my own terms that I really was a superior child of the night.

I licked my lips. "I would be in your debt, Raven."

She smiled slowly, catlike. "We would be partners."

I hesitated, but nodded. "Of course."

"And you will finish teaching me the art of transformation without delay. It's the mist that I'm having trouble with."

"If that's what you wish." Truth be told, I had put off her training in that department. Not for any good reason, either. She hadn't been a natural, and it had seemed a tedious affair. I'd heard of some vampires learning the art in a fortnight, those with innate talents like some singers and dancers. But it was rare to pick it up quickly. It had taken me decades, and Raven had seemed on the same track, although she had made great strides in recent weeks.

Raven moved so quickly that I couldn't follow her movements, and she was suddenly at my ear, breath tickling my hair. "Oh, Lucian. I think you'll come to regret the day you gave me the means to escape that mob. And to come crawling to me, of all people, begging favors." She clucked her tongue as she pushed my face aside and ran a finger from my ear to my neck, pausing where my pulse throbbed. I could practically feel the hunger radiating from her.

"This is what you want, right Lucian?" she murmured.

I closed my eyes as I felt her lips on my neck. This was what I wanted. But then, why did this feel like a death? And not just the death of my mortal self, but of … me? I felt my hand begin to shake and willed it to stop. My heart was hammering, and my breath came quick at the anticipation of what was to come.

I winced at the twin pain of her teeth puncturing my skin.

"Ugh!"

My eyes shot open as Raven recoiled, a hand to her mouth. She glared at me as I tried to understand what had happened.

"Your blood is …" Raven spit onto the ground at her feet. "It's contaminated. Like it's rancid."

I frowned. But it made perfect sense, of course. Vrykolakas was not going to let me regain my immortality so easily. If I didn't earn it, he would make certain that I couldn't cheat.

"Bugger," Raven muttered. "That would have been the easier way to dispose of you."

I blinked. "Dispose?"

Raven laughed. "Of course! With you out of the way, I can claim your territory. You didn't think I'd let an overbearing monster like you have your kingdom back, did you? Even if we were splitting it, I would be loath to remain in your company for any longer."

I took a step back, glancing over my shoulder to ensure my friends had returned to the coach as I'd asked. They were halfway across the bridge now, over the running water. Safe.

Raven followed my gaze. "Yes, you let the humans escape. Such a waste. But even if I can't partake in what lifeblood you have flowing through your veins now, I can at least enjoy breaking you apart." She shrugged. "I'll even start with the smaller bones, in your honor."

I turned to flee, but of course I couldn't outrun her. She reached me in an instant, her hand gripping my arm like a vise.

I grunted and swung my lantern into her head.

Raven screamed as oil splashed her face, flames licking at her hair as I shoved her away from me, freeing myself from her grip. I sprinted with all my might toward the bridge, but I knew that I had little time before the rain doused the fire, and she would be on me again.

As I ran, I collapsed the umbrella, and when I heard her splashing feet at my back, I whirled around, shoving the umbrella's sharp-edged tip into her stomach.

Raven's eyes bulged as her hands flew to the wound, but I didn't give her a chance to retaliate. I brought a knee up to brace the umbrella and snapped its wood handle off with a splintering crack. It was a rough stake, but I shoved it into her chest with little ceremony. Purposefully, I missed her heart at the last second. I regretted the choice immediately, my human mercy blinding me in a most inconvenient moment.

But it was the distraction I needed. I resumed my escape and managed to reach the bridge unimpeded, my friends exclaiming from the other side. Halfway across, I stopped, gasping for breath as I turned to watch Raven pull the stake from her chest, having already discarded the umbrella. She gazed down at the piece of wood, then up at me. She had to have known I'd avoided killing her.

"This isn't over, Lucian," she promised, tossing the stake aside. "That's the last mistake you'll make."

She picked up her own umbrella, which had fallen in the fight, and lifted it over her head. She blew me a mocking kiss before turning and walking leisurely away.

I leaned against the railing of the bridge, staring down at the river below, now swollen with raging water. I was soaked through and so cold that I was numb and shaking. Swiping at the water that gathered in my eyes, I turned back toward the coach to find Maxwell and Melbourne nearly at my side. Melbourne held an umbrella overhead to spare me from getting soaked further as Maxwell covered me in a heavy, dry cloak. I was already too cold for it to do much good, but I allowed them to whisk me back to the carriage, where we retreated up Old Mill Road, even slower than before, the mud sucking at the carriage wheels and impeding the horses' progress.

"You're freezing," Maxwell told me, rubbing my hands to warm them.

"Who was that woman?" Melbourne asked, frowning. "She just appeared out of nowhere."

"She's probably been watching the house," I said, teeth chattering.

"But you knew her," Ambrose said. "She was … a vampire, wasn't she?"

I nodded. "I knew her … before." It was a true statement. I'd been the one to change her, after all, so of course I'd known her as a human, for all of an hour.

"This was a bad idea," Cecelia said, putting a hand to her head. "We should have waited until tomorrow, once we saw that storm rolling in."

"We're all okay," Maxwell said, eyes full of concern for me. "And now we know there's a vampire in the neighborhood. The community will have to be on guard."

"The warning will save lives." Melbourne nodded his agreement.

"You were remarkable," Ambrose told me, shaking his head. "From what I could see, you stood your ground well and used some impressive ingenuity. If your aim had been true, she would have been but ash."

I didn't reply. The warmth was returning to my hands, due to Maxwell's attentions, but I was still soaked to the bone and freezing.

Ambrose seemed to intuit my discomfort. "Get out of that shirt and jacket, at the very least. They're drenched. The cloak will warm you better."

I obeyed, unbuttoning my jacket and trying to shrug it off, although I needed Maxwell's aid to succeed. I noticed Ambrose's eyes on my chest as I cocooned myself in the cloak, then caught Maxwell looking away. Cecelia had pointedly stared away as I'd disrobed, but Melbourne unabashedly watched the proceedings.

The attention was flattering, but I felt drained of my energy and sank into the cloak to rid myself of the chill that had settled over me. My trousers still clung to me wetly, but already I felt warmer. Perhaps too warm. My face felt feverish.

"What did we gain from this excursion that nearly cost our friend his life?" Melbourne asked the carriage at large. "We know Emmett painted there, but so what?"

"It's a familiar place for him," Cecelia said, shrugging. "Maybe he was taking that way home. Or maybe he's staying somewhere nearby."

"Isabel might know more," Maxwell said to Ambrose, who narrowed his eyes as he noticed how his brother pressed himself against the cloak, an arm thrown around my shoulders to spread some warmth to me. But I didn't have the capacity to read into whatever jealousy he was feeling.

I let any further conversation wash over me, and I must have dozed, for the next thing I knew, Maxwell was carrying me into the house. I was curled against his chest. As I stared up at him, his clenched jaw, his determined eyes, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. Me, who hadn't needed any help in centuries, save my indifferent servants.

I fell unconscious again.

It sounded like a wolf had charged into the room.

The other boys at my boarding school were screaming as furniture was tossed about the dormitory, slamming into walls and snapping with loud cracks, the remains splintered and useless as they rained to the ground. It was chaos as I scrambled out of my bed, and I was knocked over by another boy who was doing the same. I landed awkwardly with a grunt, but I shook off my discomfort as I tried to understand what was happening. It had been so sudden. One moment, I'd felt the coaxing caress of sleep dragging me steadily under, and the next, the door had exploded inward.

In the pitch black, I couldn't see a thing, but I heard the animal tearing at the flesh of the boy who'd knocked me down. His blood splattered my face, warm and syrupy as I scrambled along the floor for escape.

I tore out of the room as fast as I could, an oil lamp in the hallway driving back some of the shadows. It also illuminated the man who'd been holding the lamp initially—a teacher who'd made me care about poetry and music. His glasses were broken at his side, sitting silently in the center of a pool of blood that was steadily growing. He seemed to be watching his glasses, but his eyes were cold and dead as marbles.

I shrieked as a boy was thrown out of the room behind me, careening into the opposite wall with a loud crunch that snapped me out of my stupor. I sprinted down the staircase, where another body lay broken in a heap. I didn't stop to examine who it was. I raced for the front door, but it was bolted shut. The headmaster locked the door at night so we wouldn't sneak out. I hadn't a clue where the key might be now.

Pivoting, I made for the drawing room, past another body on the rug, missing its head, with a pistol clutched in its right hand, the barrel twisted upward as if it had been made of clay.

I had to hide, but there were few places to do so. The piano wouldn't work, nor the desk or table. I could hide behind the curtains, but they would only offer a flimsy barrier against the formidable beast upstairs.

My eyes landed on the fireplace. It was summer, so it was rarely used. I rushed forward and pulled the heavy grate away from the hollow. Wood crunched beneath my weight as I wedged myself into the small space, pulling the grate behind me.

I paused once this was done, realizing the sounds from the second floor had ceased. It was deathly quiet as I peeked through the grate into the dark room beyond. Moonlight shrouded the room in a cold, quiet light, nothing stirring as I hunched in my hiding place, trying to control my breathing so as not to give myself away.

It was a long time before a shadow stretched across the room—the figure of a man, not a wolf. He seemed to glide over the floorboards like an apparition, shadows clinging to him like a second skin, until he stopped at the chair facing the fireplace.

I held my breath, keeping myself as still as possible, as the man lowered himself into the chair and stared straight at the fireplace. His red eyes seemed to meet mine through the grate, as if he could see me in the dark, even though that was impossible.

His lips didn't move, but I heard him speak nonetheless, his rich, deep voice filling my head.

"I won't harm you, child. Come out where I can see you."

His voice was so pleasant and warm. It made me drowsy. I wanted to do as he said. "Come out."

My mind felt cottony as my hands began to push aside the heavy grate. I wanted to scream for my body to stop, but I felt a strange satisfaction in doing what I'd been told. I scrambled to my feet and wiped the soot from my nightshirt as best I could before I returned my gaze to him.

"That's better," the man said, tilting his head to look at me. "Come closer."

I obeyed, flinching as he grabbed my chin and shifted it from side to side, as if considering a horse he wished to purchase.

"Please," I managed to eke out as the man's grip tightened. My hands were shaking, my heart hammering desperately, as if wanting to escape my chest. Run! My mind roared. He's a monster! But I simply couldn't move. I was drowning in his eyes, a red haze of intoxication.

"I love when they beg." The man's lips curved into a smile. I noticed for the first time how handsome he was, his dark hair shorter than was the current fashion, but curly. It almost looked wet, I thought, before I realized that it was damp with blood.

I swallowed hard, a tear sliding down my cheek. The man's finger twitched, and I imagined he was about to snap my neck.

The man released me, looking me up and down. "I do like beautiful things. It would be a shame to deprive the world of you." He tangled his fingers into my hair almost lovingly. "Tell me, boy, what is your name?"

The breath caught in my throat as he tightened his grip on my hair painfully. "Lucian," I gasped.

"Lucian," he echoed. His other hand reaching out to graze my lips. "Tell me, Lucian, do you want to live?"

My mouth was dry, so I nodded.

"Very good." He watched me for a moment, considering, before he lowered his head toward my throat. "Be brave for just a little bit longer and we'll see what we can do about that." I winced at the pain that blossomed in my neck. "Such a brave boy."

I awoke with a start in my bed, blankets piled on top of me. I blinked as I heard birds chirping outside my window, sunlight streaming in.

I must have slept through the night.

I sat up, earning an undignified squawk from Beezle, who blinked slowly up at me before leaping from the bed, deciding that I no longer needed his care.

I smiled. "Were you taking care of me, Beezle?" I pushed my sheets aside to stand.

"You're awake."

I looked up to find Maxwell studying me, a smile inching across his face.

"I am," I said, then paused. "Don't tell me you've been watching over me."

Maxwell winced as he strode to my side. "Unfortunately with the competition, I wasn't able to be here as much as I would have liked. I only just stepped in, and I'm afraid I woke you. You clearly needed the rest. You've been out for two days."

"Two days!?" I asked, alarmed.

"Don't push yourself. You had a fever. It just broke last night."

My mind whirled. I hadn't been sick since … since I'd last been human. How strange. I didn't feel sick, although I did feel more tired than usual. I recalled how cold and weary I'd been on Old Mill Road. "I'm alright."

"The doctor was pleased with your progress last night," Maxwell continued. "If you feel up for it, you can come down for some tea. But perhaps you'd like to rest more."

"I'm alright," I repeated.

He smiled. "Of course you are. Ambrose was here as well, but other matters required his attention."

"I can't blame him. As entertaining as watching me sleep might be."

Maxwell lifted an eyebrow. "The drool was pretty impressive."

"And the snoring like a siren song, no doubt."

Maxwell chuckled, shaking his head. "Already back to your old self, I see. I would have expected no less. Father's nurse has been keeping a close eye, so I knew you were in good hands."

I cocked my head. "Your father spared his nurse?"

Maxwell lowered himself to the edge of my bed, shrugging. "He might not be aware that I intervened on your behalf, but he certainly doesn't need her around the clock. And I'm sure she was happy to escape him for a time."

"Escape him? Interesting phrasing."

Maxwell smiled tightly. "My father has good qualities and bad qualities, like anyone. He's madly in love with his wife. He commands a room, a natural leader. But he also has … high expectations. It can be a lot. He doesn't tolerate shows of weakness."

"Like art?"

He snorted. "Yes, like art. And he is of the opinion that no actions are unreasonable if they serve to produce a favorable outcome."

I pursed my lips. "It couldn't have been easy growing up with a man like that, one who must always show strength."

Maxwell eyed me warily. "We've learned how to live with him. I figured out early on how to make do. We all have. Emmett has had … more qualms with him than most. Emmett can be bullish at times. I think he likes to goad the old man, damn the consequences. But the duke is too frail to cause lasting harm any longer. That doesn't mean the respect he's instilled in us has diminished, however."

"I find that I like your brother the more I learn of him."

"I think he would like you too."

I considered the duke's role in his children's lives. Emmett had clearly been at odds with him, and I wouldn't be surprised if Emmett's disappearance had something to do with the duke. Maxwell tried to be amiable to everyone, probably ignored by his father most of all since he was the youngest. His kindness likely had more to do with Flora than anything. And Ambrose … was more like his father than the others. He might not rule with an iron fist like the duke clearly had, but there was enough of the man in him that I began to understand my dislike for the future duke. But it wasn't Ambrose's fault he had been raised in such a manner. Perhaps some of it could even be unlearned, and he could become a great man. Perhaps it would only take the right partner. That person, however, was not me.

"I told you I can manage," I told Maxwell an hour later as he followed my footsteps to the library. "I ate, didn't I?"

Maxwell pursed his lips. "Hardly. You were quite ill, Lucian. Nobody bounces back from that this quickly."

"Well, I did." I scowled at the skepticism I read in his face, stopping to glare at him. "I'll go back to bed and rest for the entire day, but I want a moment alone with Helena."

Maxwell hesitated and I crossed my arms to show that I was serious. "I'll relent if you let me send another cucumber sandwich to your room," he compromised.

"I'll eat dirt if it gets you to stop hovering."

With a shake of his head, Maxwell slowly retreated up the hall. "I expect every crumb of that sandwich to be consumed, Lucian. I'm not joking. I will force-feed you if I must."

I smiled sweetly at him. "You'd like that."

When he disappeared around the corner, I let out a relieved sigh and leaned against the wall. The truth was, I enjoyed his doting presence, but I couldn't very well have him around when I had things to take care of. I rolled my head to stare at the open library door just ahead of me. I knew Helena liked to take her tea at this time. I just wish I felt stronger, despite the show I was putting on for everyone. I couldn't appear weak, but I also knew that I needed that extra day of rest.

With reluctance, I ventured to the library door and peered inside.

As expected, Helena was sitting primly on the couch. Nancy was in the room, but upon seeing me, she made a hasty retreat. "It's good to see you up and about, my lord," she told me on her way out.

"Thank you, Nancy."

I strode across the room and sat down across from Helena with a sigh. I stared at her for a moment, but she didn't waver whatsoever, waiting for me to speak when I was ready. It had been the same when she'd been my servant. Now, I found it chilling. She was such a good conversationalist, a society woman. I didn't like her silence now, like we were reverting to our former roles. "Well, that was a trying experience."

"It sounds like it," Helena agreed as I poured myself a cup. "The whole house was worried for you."

"How unnecessary." I paused. "I hope you weren't too worked up."

"No. I'm well aware that nothing as trivial as a fever could keep you down for long."

I watched her over my teacup for a moment as she took a sip of her own. "I know it was you, Helena."

Helena stilled, then cocked her head. "Lucian?"

I sighed. "Let's drop the pretense. I sent a letter to Raven so she could make me immortal again. She never received it. Because you'd already sent word to her. There's no other explanation for her appearance."

"Don't be ridiculous, Lucian. Whatever would compel me to do that? You know Raven and I never got along."

"Perhaps you thought that would blind me to the truth, but I'm not a fool. Only two people know that I'm human. Three now that Raven knows. And I doubt very much the driver that night I arrived at this doorstep would have any idea who Raven is, let alone how to contact her." I shrugged. "So, why did you do it?"

Helena set down her tea and considered a moment, folding her arms in her lap. "Very well, Lucian. It was me."

While I'd already puzzled out the truth, I still felt a sinking in my stomach, one that threatened to drag me down with it. "I considered you a friend, Helena. I truly did."

Helena sighed. "Lucian, you know that I had to have harbored some resentment for how you treated me. The years following my banishment from your company were the most miserable of my life. It wasn't all balls and sitting rooms. I hated you, cursed your name. I was adrift for a time before I found my way again and built a life for myself. So, yes, I was angry, and I was hurt. I wanted to see you suffer in some incremental way, to know what it was like when you tossed me aside like the remains of your chamber pot."

Helena was shaking, and I closed my eyes, absorbing the hate that radiated from her. I could have changed her. Even when she was in her fifties, she would have regained her youth with the transition. Her strength, bones, and flesh would have been fortified against age. But instead, I'd banished her. As much as I'd enjoyed her company, I had been her master, and as such, I hadn't seen her as the equal she'd always been. She hadn't met some intangible standard of what I'd wanted in a colleague for eternity. It had been a grave oversight. "I'm … ashamed of how I treated you," I said softly. "I'm sorry. I wish I had been a magnanimous man back then."

"Come, Lucian. You're just as selfish now as you've always been. You may have the others fooled, but I know you. You weren't buying your friends time to escape Raven, like they think. You wanted Raven to turn you back. And the only reason you're here at all, making nice with the humans, is to return to your former glory." She shook her head. "When I reached out to Raven, it was in retaliation against the unfeeling vampire I know you to be. You're still as arrogant as the duke, and without any real power behind you now."

I felt the heaviness of my bones as I sank back in my seat. How had I not seen her hatred? I'd been so blinded by her kindness, never questioning it, when for decades, withholding trust had been all that had kept me alive. "What does Raven know?"

"Oh, everything. I told her all about your bargain with your god."

I nodded solemnly. "So, where does this leave us? Do you plan on informing the duke's family of who I am?"

Helena shifted. "To what end? I could have done that from the beginning. But all that would do is implicate me, and I very much like the life I've built for myself here. No, I don't want your destruction, Lucian. Neither of us wants the Harclays to condemn us for our involvement with vampires. As much as I loathe to admit it, our fates in that regard are intertwined. I will make no further moves against you. And I won't stand in your way." She shrugged. "I'm content with the knowledge that Raven will catch you and kill you, or you'll fail to meet Vrykolakas's conditions. Either way, you'll die as human as I have always been." She held out a hand to shake. "Consider us even."

I regarded her hand for a moment before I gripped it in mine, soft and wrinkled. I stared into Helena's unseeing eyes and squeezed her hand painfully.

Her lips tensed, but she didn't protest as I leaned forward, my voice retrained. "The old me would break every bone in your hand right now so that you would never forget your betrayal. I have half a mind to snap your neck and be done with you."

"Are you still that monster?" Helena asked.

I loosened my grip, then released her. "I'm not." I shook myself. "But don't mistake mercy for weakness."

Helena smiled thinly. "I would call you many things, Lucian. Weak would not be among them."

I stood abruptly and stalked toward the door. At the threshold, I looked back. "Don't get too comfortable, Helena. You summoned Raven to Hale's Corner, and she survived our confrontation. She's still out there somewhere. If I were you, I'd watch my back."

"I can handle myself, Lucian. I appreciate the concern."

I closed the door on her, tears burning my eyes. Things would never be the same between us again. The one person whom I'd confided in, who knew everything about me. We could perhaps move on from this, remain civil with one another, but I would always be wary of her. I supposed that was how she'd lived in my company all those years, every day wondering if this would be the day I ended her, but hoping I could be taken at my word. It was appropriate that I would have such a black cloud looming over me now. Helena could reveal me at any time. She said she wouldn't. But that uneasiness, that tension, would always be there.

I didn't like the feeling of turmoil roiling through me. As soon as I reached my room, I slammed the door shut behind me and crumpled onto my bed, punching my pillow again, and again, and again.