Chapter Eighteen

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

T he graveyard was much prettier in the evening without torrents of rain bombarding us. The air smelled of freshly-turned earth, and as we walked between the rows of old white headstones, I noted holes in the ground, likely from the ghouls I glimpsed in the underbrush. While it had been years since the corpses had been filled out with flesh, the ghouls still gnawed on the bones between the meals the surrounding forest and countryside provided.

Previously obscured by thick fog, Gramercy House was a square mansion, intimidating from afar, but clearly in a state of disrepair, which became all the more obvious the nearer we drew. The yard was overgrown with weeds and a garden gone wild over the years with raspberries and blackberries, a flock of crows eyeing us warily from a dead oak tree as if to chase us off if we ventured too close.

The manor had no glass left in its windows, and the half-rotten door only required one to duck to gain entry. The spacious entry hall was littered with dead leaves that crunched beneath our feet, and the rug leading to a staircase stunk of mildew. A chandelier that had fallen from its perch long ago lay dormant in the middle of the room, glass shards sparkling as they caught the light from our lanterns.

"Emmett would stay here ?" Ambrose asked, skeptical.

"If he was desperate enough," I said, trying to see any paths through the leaves and dirt that would indicate someone had been living here. There were some bare trails that someone careful could utilize without giving themselves away, likely carved by the wind blowing in through the exposed doorway. Cecelia was right that a fire did not appear to have run through these walls.

"Emmett!" Maxwell shouted suddenly. "Are you here, brother?"

We all stood still, listening for a response from the old, dark house, but it remained silent as his echo died on the air.

"Well," Ambrose said, wrinkling his nose as he shone his light over an overturned table, a broken vase pinning mummified flowers beneath its heavy shards, "I suppose we should have a look around."

"I'll check upstairs," Violetta volunteered.

Ambrose sent her a tight smile. "And I'll make sure you don't fall through the floor. There are bound to be rotted floorboards all over this place."

She nodded, wide-eyed and followed him to the staircase.

I turned toward a doorway that led further into the house, stepping out a moment later into a room missing half of its wall with crumbled stone strewn about, making for a difficult path.

"Are you going to go through with it?"

I jumped, glancing back to find Maxwell only a few paces behind me. "You startled me."

"Are you going to marry him?" he repeated, ignoring my outburst.

I hesitated, the earnestness in his gaze squeezing my heart. "You don't think I should? You don't want me around?"

"You know that's not it," Maxwell hissed, drawing closer. "You have a choice. Right now. Two paths before you. One with him, and one with …" He hesitated, looking away.

"One with you?" I finished, hating the note of hope that crept into my voice.

He bit his lower lip. "You know how I feel about you. I see the same want in your eyes. Don't deny it."

I pursed my lips. Of course I felt it. Of course I wanted him. But I couldn't indulge myself. Perhaps the fact that I'd never denied myself in the past was making this all the harder. "I can't, Maxwell. As much as I want to."

A muscle twitched in his jaw. "Do you love him?"

I hesitated. "This has nothing to do with love."

"It has everything to do with love!" Maxwell insisted, taking a bold step toward me. "Do you know what sort of family you would be marrying into? Do you know how I've had to survive in that household? I've had to play the good son, learn exactly what to say, what I couldn't get away with, anything to escape his notice. Mother could only protect us from Father's wrath so much, and I was lucky because I was the youngest. I was of little consequence to the … the continuation of our stupid bloodline."

I swallowed hard as he took another step closer.

"And Ambrose …" He laughed dryly. "Ambrose overlooked all of father's deficiencies. He learned to be the studious, perfect son, and how to keep everyone around him in line. He learned to be the heir, to take my father's place, along with everything that comes with it, including, apparently, a secret society of monster-hunting radicals."

"Maxwell," I said, lifting my hands in an effort to calm him, "Ambrose isn't your father."

"No. He just watched, and learned how to become like him, the future duke, at whatever cost, never mind who else was hurt in the process."

I closed the distance between us and grabbed Maxwell's arm, squeezing it. He was shaking. "Maxwell … he can't hurt you anymore. Your father is a withered old man."

"Yet he still scares me. I've had to hide my whole life to avoid him." Maxwell shook his head. "And you want to marry his successor in every way."

I couldn't meet his eyes. "Maxwell …"

"I love you, Lucian," he said, voice hoarse as he lifted his head so that our faces were only inches apart. He denied me the option to avoid his gaze. His eyes were pleading with me. "Say you love me too."

My heart was pounding so hard it was a wonder that he couldn't hear it. I licked my lips, and he seemed to take that as an invitation. My entire body tingled upon contact. His lips were warm and urgent. I felt the need in them, and responded in kind. My limbs responded of their own accord, as if by instinct, wrapping around his back, pulling him against me so no space separated us any longer. The need in me was propulsive. I had to get even closer to him. I wanted to be skin-to-skin.

The sound of flapping wings startled us into disentangling ourselves, a pigeon venturing into the room and taking position on a lopsided table, head cocked curiously toward us.

Maxwell's hand was still on my lower back, and I resisted the urge to lean back into him, to continue the kiss. It had felt so right. I wanted him, more than anything just now. More than anything, perhaps, except for my immortality.

I took a step away from him, forcing his hand to fall away. My chest heaved as I regained my composure. I straightened my jacket and ran a hand back through my hair. "That cannot happen again," I told him, even as the words felt like a death sentence.

His face fell and I forced myself to turn away to stop from rescinding them.

"His title is worth so much to you then," he said, chuckling. "I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong."

I knew he was lashing out because he was hurt, but his accusation stung nonetheless, especially given how vulnerable he had just made himself to me. Denying his words would only make our parting harder. I lifted my eyes to his again, and when our gazes locked, I could tell he knew I'd felt the same as him. But ours was a forbidden love. It could never be. The regret that flashed over his features tore a hole in my heart as he turned and strode from the room.

I stared after him, hating my weakness, hating that I needed my immortality more than what I could have had with him, but I had to remind myself that Maxwell would be a fleeting moment in a life that could span millennia, if not longer. I knew if I gave in to what I wanted now, even if it felt like my chest was split open, my lifeblood spilling out onto the concrete to leave me cold and empty, I would come to regret turning my back on immortality for this brief mortal bliss.

I closed my eyes, my body trembling, wondering if I was right, or if I was making the worst mistake of my life.

"Lucian! Maxwell!" Violetta's voice.

I blinked, sloughing off the paralysis that had briefly rooted me to the spot, and backtracked to the front hall. I saw Maxwell bounding up the stairs. He didn't look back as I followed him up to a landing where Violetta and Ambrose stood.

Without having to ask, Violetta pulled aside a curtain to reveal a staircase that led downward.

"This looks promising," Ambrose said.

"Quite," I agreed, automatically sending a look in Maxwell's direction. He looked away quickly, and my stomach dropped. Once I got my hands on that list of hunters and Ambrose officially asked for my hand, I reminded myself, I wouldn't have to see him again. His face wouldn't be a constant reminder of what I could have had. I just had to push through this pain and I would return to my old life. My gift to him would be a reunion with Emmett, and hopefully that would dull some of the pain he felt for losing me.

Wordlessly, we descended the narrow, dark staircase. It went much deeper than the first floor into a basement of cold stone and arches that refused to allow our light to penetrate far ahead of us. The corridor kept going, so that we could no longer be beneath Gramercy House, the air cool and stale as we disturbed a pathway untouched for years. It felt like a tomb, and I shuddered instinctively. It felt like home, like I was back in my castle, no warmth in its walls, an invitation for darkness everywhere.

A room finally opened up ahead and Violetta gasped, hurrying forward to meet the half dozen coffins lying beneath a layer of dust and cobwebs.

"A family crypt?" Ambrose asked, surprised.

One of the coffin lids was slanted, and with a slight touch from Violetta's hand, it was sent crashing to the floor with the sound of splintering wood. She winced. "Oh, I do hope they don't hold that against me."

I peered into the coffin, lifting my lamp high to better see the figure within. "I'd say any grudges would extend to others before you."

The skeleton within was dressed in a man's faded clothing, arms crossed over his chest. A fat wooden spike was driven through his ribs, filling the space where his heart used to be, while his mouth was stuffed with cloves of garlic.

He had no fangs. He had not been a vampire.

I swallowed hard as Ambrose lifted the lid of another coffin, this of a skeleton in women's dress. She had been left in the same fashion.

"They killed humans," Maxwell observed.

"Or they found graves of potential vampires," Ambrose said. "People were dying from mysterious ailments. They had to act."

"This is the family crypt," Violetta said, gesturing to the family crest on the wall. "You know as well as I the story of the townspeople killing this family of vampires. They killed them and put them in these coffins."

I sighed. "Humans do terrible things when they're afraid. Or angry. They can become violent, especially in a frenzied mob. Are any of you truly surprised they killed an innocent family?"

"We can be capable of terrible things," Maxwell agreed. "Perhaps as terrible as vampires themselves."

I cocked my head. At least one of them understood.

"Maybe they were going to turn," Ambrose suggested. "The ailments did stop after their deaths." But I knew that vampires turned overnight. There was the exchange of fluids, the human death, the burial, and when the vampire blood had overwritten the human's system in death, they arose a vampire.

"So, we find someone to blame when there's an illness going around. We let hysteria dictate how we conduct ourselves." Maxwell said flatly. "Great."

Ambrose scowled. "Don't blame this on Father or the society. We don't kill humans. This can't be what it looks like."

"There's another door through here," Violetta interrupted, at the back of the room.

I wandered after her and helped her push an iron gate open. Then we were walking up a staircase, out into the night air.

I blinked. How long had we been traipsing through these ruins? Long enough for the sun to set without my noticing. I glanced back as the others filed out after me, and I noted Gramercy House in the distance, while the structure we had just exited stood on the brink of the cemetery.

"The ball will be starting shortly," Ambrose said, checking his pocket watch.

"But we haven't found Emmett yet," Maxwell protested. "We've barely begun searching the house."

A new voice cut through the darkness. "Yes, by all means, stay."

I froze, raising my head slowly toward the form that lay casually across the roof of the mausoleum. Raven grinned down at me lazily. "Lucian, I don't believe you've introduced me to your other friends." She sat up to regard us.

I clenched my jaw. She was going to play with me and inform my companions exactly who I was. Very well. Two could play this game. "We barely knew each other when you were alive, foul demon. We certainly aren't friends now."

She leapt down gracefully like a cat just feet from where I stood, the others taking cautious steps back. She wore a lime green silk pantsuit, gold bracelets clinking on her wrists, matching her hoop earrings. She pushed out her lower lip in a pout. "Oh, Lucian. You say the most hurtful things." She chuckled, gaze flickering to the others briefly. "Shouldn't you be at a ball right now?"

"What do you care?" My eyes narrowed. "Is this where you've been hiding?"

"Did you do something to my brother?" Maxwell demanded, pushing in front of Ambrose. I noticed that Violetta had disappeared. At least one of them was smart.

Raven crossed her arms. "You let the humans speak for you, Lucian? That's not like you."

"Answer him," I growled. "What did you do, Raven?"

"I've been keeping a low profile. I've seen the vampire hunters roaming the neighborhood. I'm not stupid."

I noticed that she did not answer the question. "And if you don't leave this place now, you'll have dozens of vampire hunters on you."

"What makes you think you'll have the opportunity to inform them of me?" She examined her nails for a moment, before heaving a dramatic sigh. "Actually, I think I'll let you live a little longer."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"Oh, I learned from the best, Lucian. I've come to realize since our last spat that outright killing you would be far too easy. You always liked to play with your food first. It's much more satisfying to watch your enemies suffer. In fact, letting your mortal life take its natural course would be quite satisfying, knowing what you've lost."

"Play with his food?" Ambrose asked. "What are you going on about? How well do you know each other?"

"She knows nothing of me." I gritted my teeth. My mind raced as I wondered how I could both gain control of the conversation and protect them from her. On Old Mill Road, it had been easy to see them to safety. A river had been nearby. Here, we were defenseless.

Before Raven had a chance to retort, a screaming split the air and I turned to find Violetta launching herself across the space that separated herself from Raven, a large wooden stake clutched in her right hand. That was where she had gone. Not to save herself, but to grab a stake from the coffins. Her eyes wild, she swung the weapon at Raven's chest, but she was far too slow. Raven sidestepped her easily, and Violetta stumbled to the ground, stake rolling out of her hands. Before she had the opportunity to right herself, Raven lowered a boot across her neck.

Violetta thrashed, trying to pry the boot from her throat, but she might as well have been trying to move stone. "You killed her, you monster!" she screamed. "She was my everything!"

"Let her go," I demanded.

Raven snorted. "Will you drop this silly act and have a real conversation with me?"

I swallowed hard, glancing back to find Ambrose and Maxwell frozen in place, unsure of what to do. If I didn't comply with her request, she would just move on to one of them next. I didn't see any way around it. I would have to … reveal myself to them. I closed my eyes and nodded. "Very well."

"Wonderful," Raven said, lifting her boot and kicking Violetta away. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?" She flashed me a brilliant smile. "Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted? Ah, yes. Making you suffer. A favorite topic of mine."

I grimaced. "I suppose you plan to kill my friends and make me watch?"

"Oh, Lucian," Raven sighed. "You're such a bore. Where has that creative vision gone? I have a much more interesting idea in mind." She took a step toward me and I backed up instinctively. She arched an eyebrow. "You see, Lucian, for you to lose your chance at immortality, I only need to ensure that the competition draws to a close without you."

Every word that dropped from her lips, revealing who I was to my friends, sent a stutter through my chest. But I couldn't contradict her or she would renew her attack. I wouldn't be able to recover from this. They knew. I swallowed, trying to focus on what she was saying rather than the friends at my back, stiffening as her words sank in. "You are not touching Ambrose."

"What do you care for Ambrose?" Raven demanded. "When have you ever cared for anyone, save yourself? You never allowed me to have a family. You forced me to remain your only peer for decades."

I scowled. "Because groups of vampires would attract attention. Don't you wish to survive?"

"Better to die with loved ones than merely surviving with the most selfish, obtuse vampire on the planet." She sneered at me. "How I hate what you've put me through. But I will reclaim my life. And I will see you pay."

I winced. "You hate me so much? Was I such a … monster?"

"And more." She crossed her arms. "And anyway, your duke-in-waiting will not propose to you now that he knows the truth." She glanced over my shoulder. "Isn't that right, boy?"

I turned to find Ambrose glaring, jaw set. Violetta's eyes were wide. Maxwell was grim-faced. I couldn't look closer, not when I knew what I would find in their eyes. Hate. Disgust. Accusation.

I deflated as Raven's lips at my ear sent a shiver down my spine. I didn't back away. Part of me wished she would sink her fangs into my neck right now and end this. But, of course, she didn't. She had learned valuable lessons under my tutelage.

"As you live your mortal life, as disease steals the strength from your limbs," she murmured, "remember it was your own actions that turned your friends away from you and left you a broken man. You are a curse to everyone who crosses your path, and you will die alone and unwanted. I hope you writhe with pain for years before Death finally takes your soul to your lord in Hell. And I will bear witness to every agonizing moment."