Chapter 18

Eighteen

"S o, how are things going with Eisen?" Marissa asked.

"Good. Really good. He seems more excited about the party than the boys are."

Tuesday morning, start of the big day. Would it be eighth time lucky? Eis had left for London late yesterday morning with Primrose, and having dinner without him felt weird. But life was good. Not only had Alfie's cast been removed for good yesterday, so he'd stopped complaining about itchy skin, but we also had a working shower at Marigold Lodge. Eis and an electrician had finished installing it yesterday before Eis headed off.

"Do the boys know you're dating him now?"

I nodded. "They're okay with it."

Maybe even better than okay. Mrs. Bailey, Harry's headteacher, had called right after I took a shower with Eis and informed me that we needed to talk. My heart had sunk as memories of my own visits to the headteacher's office came flooding back. How bad would it be?

"Harry's been telling lies," she said. "Here at Southcott Comprehensive, we encourage honesty at all times, so it's best if we can nip this in the bud now."

"What lies has he been telling?"

"He's been bragging to the other boys that his mother is dating a cage fighter."

He had?

"At any point, did it occur to you that he might be telling the truth?"

"On Harry's application form, you said you were married, and you noted your husband's occupation as ‘accountant.'"

Ah.

"Yes, well, I'm separated, and my boyfriend is a cage fighter."

"I see."

"Do you? Do you realise why Harry said that? It's because he keeps getting bullied. Maybe before you start accusing him of lying, you should look at tackling the bigger issue?"

When Harry got home, I asked him about the cage-fighter-dating thing, and he told me he was "eleven, not stupid." Apparently, he and Alfie had been talking, and they figured it would be okay if we all went to live at Twilight's End because who wouldn't want a swimming pool and a movie theatre? Perhaps for the first time in my thirty-one years, one of my problems had resolved itself.

"Liam swapped his shifts around so he can come to the party," Marissa said. "We can stay at Mum and Dad's house overnight. Air the place out a bit before they get back."

"I'm hoping we won't have any medical emergencies, but we will have plenty of wine."

"Should we bring anything?"

"Just yourselves and your costumes."

"I was going to be a cat, but then Liam's sister said she had loads of old costumes from her theatre days, so now I'm coming as a witch. Serena's friend is a make-up artist, and she offered to help with the tricky bits."

"Why don't you invite Serena and her friend too? The more, the merrier."

"Are you sure?"

"Eis has ordered enough food for two hundred people, and that's not an exaggeration. Invite anyone you want."

"Liam's brother's staying with us for a few weeks before he goes travelling."

"Excellent—bring him too."

I'd never held a party where I didn't have to organise every little thing, and the lack of control was oddly terrifying. What if someone forgot the paper plates? Or there was a problem with the music?

The upside?

I was so busy worrying about the party that I forgot to worry about my driving test. And the two extra days of practice had helped, together with Eis's tips and his "who gives a shit if you prang it?" attitude.

I passed.

I finally passed!

Marissa hugged the breath out of me, and we both squealed in the car park. Strangers gave us a wide berth. Over my sister's shoulder, I saw the look of relief on my driving instructor's face, although no doubt her joy would be tinged with disappointment that I didn't need to pay hundreds more pounds for lessons.

"I knew you could do it!" Marissa said. "No more L-plates."

"Now I graduate to P-plates. I'll probably keep them on forever."

The first thing I did when Marissa released her grip was message Eis.

Me

I passed!

Then I opened a text from Harry.

And the bottom dropped out of my world.

Harry

Did you see this? He's such a jerk.

The dumb part of me that had flung caution to the wind and leapt into the relationship with Eis hoped that Harry was talking about Shawn, but the chill punching its way up my spine told me the truth. I clicked on the link.

Usually, I avoided the tabloids like the plague, but there was Eis, front and centre on celebgossip.com with a leggy brunette as they strolled along a city street. A small boy with dark brown hair skipped between them, one hand in each of theirs and a huge grin on his face. Happy. They all looked so happy.

Like a proper family.

It was a great picture. Crystal clear.

And the boy had Eisen's eyes.

"I feel sick."

"What happened?" Marissa leaned over my shoulder. "Oh. Yikes."

Spotted in Kensington: Ladies' favourite Eisen Renner finally emerges from his man cave with a stunner on his arm.

Renner refused to answer questions as he headed for brunch with the mystery brunette, but he's in great shape after last year's acid attack. We think the eyepatch only makes him look hotter. Hopefully, Ironman will be back in the ring soon, giving it some pow-pow-pow as we go wow-wow-wow at the sight of those famous butt cheeks.

I knew it.

I knew he was too good to be true.

"Who's the little boy?" Marissa asked.

"I have no freaking clue!"

Another message from Harry.

Harry

Everyone says that you can't be his girlfriend because he has a new girlfriend. Is it true?

"Is it?" Marissa asked.

"Stop asking questions. Just stop! I don't know. I don't know anything, okay?"

Fingers trembling, I dialled Eis's number, then pressed the phone against my ear as I paced the car park at the test centre. But there was no answer. Had I made another colossal mistake?

In hindsight, I was glad he hadn't picked up because what would I have said? Do you have a secret child? Are you cheating on me with her, or are you cheating on her with me? Can Alfie at least have his worm farm back?

I needed time to think things through.

* * *

After a not-so-tearful goodbye with my driving instructor, Marissa chauffeured me back home and followed me into the silent, half-finished house. Past Eis's work boots in the hallway, past his coat draped over the newel post, past the bag of sports kit he'd brought for the boys.

"What are you doing?" she asked as I began rummaging through drawers in the kitchen.

"Looking for the corkscrew."

Finally, I found what I was searching for, wrenched the cork free from Tesco's finest bargain-bin wine, and swigged straight from the bottle.

Marissa pursed her lips. "Is that a good idea?"

"Who can say? My judgment is terrible."

This should have been such a happy day, but instead, it had turned into one of the worst of my life. Hadn't I learned my lesson yet? Eis didn't call. Marissa picked Alfie up from school, and Harry stomped off upstairs when he arrived home on the bus. I was just numb. Lying face down on the sofa, numb. Once again, I'd dared to dream of the future, only to get a rude awakening.

I knew I had to speak with him.

Eventually.

I just… If I put it off, maybe I could keep pretending for a while longer?

This wine really did taste like shit.

"Do you want me to stay?" Marissa asked after I'd been wallowing in misery for an hour or possibly two. Perhaps I should move back to Bristol? I couldn't stay in Engleby, not with Eisen so close by.

"What's the point?"

"I could make you dinner?" She paused for a moment, and I could feel her staring at me. Judging me. "I'll go and pick something up from the shop. Fish fingers? Spaghetti?"

"I'm not even hungry."

A door slammed. Gravel crunched in the driveway. Marissa drove off, and how much food was she planning to buy? The shop was only a five-minute walk away. Then I heard voices in the hallway.

"Are you the ratbag?"

"Uh, no? I don't think so."

Great. Not Marissa leaving. Eis arriving. Fantastic.

He burst into the living room. "Janie, what's going on?"

"Shouldn't that be my question?" I asked the cushion. "Brunch?"

"You want to go to brunch? It's seven p.m."

"No, you went to brunch. I saw a picture on the internet."

"And?"

"With a woman."

"So?"

"And a kid."

"Yes, because my prick of a cousin decided a game of golf was more important than his son."

Wait, what?

I raised my head. "The boy is your cousin's son?"

"Well, he's not mine, is he?"

I slumped back down.

"Fuck, no, you thought he was my kid? Ah, shit." He must have knelt beside me because I felt his breath on my cheek. "Janie, Bex and I took Arlo to McDonald's while Edie looked after the baby. Bex's baby, not my baby," he clarified. "Some movie star rented the house a couple of doors up, and there were paparazzi standing around on the pavement, waiting for a story. Don't believe a word they write. They twist the truth, they make stuff up, they edit pictures. It's all bullshit."

"They said you had a great butt, and I know that part is true."

"Okay, almost everything they write is bullshit."

"You didn't answer the phone."

"Yeah, because they don't let you keep it during surgery."

"Surgery?" I scrambled up to sitting and blinked a few times, and I'd drunk way too much of that wine because Eis was looking back at me. Looking back at me with both eyes. "You didn't say anything about surgery."

"I wasn't sure what was going to happen today. Whether I'd be able to see, or if they'd just sew everything up again. I was really fucking scared," he admitted. "Nine months ago, I volunteered to be a guinea pig for an experimental procedure. Scientists took stem cells from my good eye and grew me a new cornea. Then they grafted it on, and it was a matter of waiting and hoping."

Oh my gosh. He'd had freaking surgery , and he hadn't warned me?

"You are such an idiot. I could have cancelled my driving test and come with you."

"Which was the main reason I didn't tell you. I wanted to, but…" He laid his forehead against mine. "When I'm scared, I bottle everything up."

"What else is scaring you? What other secrets are you keeping?"

"Nothing, I swear." His gaze locked on to mine. "Absolutely nothing else scares me apart from the thought of losing you. I feel like we can finally have the life we should have shared thirteen years ago."

Maybe I had overreacted a little this afternoon. Eis had told me he was going to a medical appointment, and he'd mentioned Bex a hundred times. Plus taking a young boy out for brunch because his father couldn't be bothered was precisely the kind of thing Eis would do.

The truth was, I was scared as well. It was all too easy to react before thinking, to jump to the wrong conclusion based on fear rather than logic. And the only thing I was scared of was losing him.

I touched a finger to his scarred temple.

"You can see out of your bad eye?"

"Not as well as I used to, but yes. They say my vision should keep improving over the next few months."

Sheepishly, I wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was a bitch."

"I get it. This is new. And I also understand why you have insecurities, but I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you too."

"Bleurgh." Oops. I'd almost forgotten Marissa was still here. "You two are so sweet my teeth hurt."

"Marissa, meet Eisen. Eis, this is my sister, Marissa."

"Good to meet you, Marissa."

"I'm absolutely not going to comment on your butt." She clapped both hands over her mouth. "Sorry."

"As you can see, putting one's foot in it runs in the family."

"It's true," Marissa agreed. "Is that a ‘no' on the fish fingers?"

"We're okay, but thanks."

"Rightio. I should head home. Uh, Eisen? Your car is blocking me in."

"Janie can move it."

"Janie can't. She drank half a bottle of wine." Marissa squinted out the window. "Is that a cat on the bonnet?"

"No, it's a bow."

"Why do you have a bow…? Oh! Ohmigosh! Janie, you definitely have to keep him."

"Because he has a bow? Or are we back to the butt discussion?"

"Because he bought you a car, stupid."

"What?"

"A car! It's super cute."

"He can't buy me a car. Cars are really expensive."

Eis pressed a key into my hand. "Janie, I bought you a car. Get over it."

"Yes, Janie, get over it." Marissa gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. "Don't you dare let him go. And change your top—that one has drool on it."

I changed my top. I also washed two paracetamol down with plenty of water and poured the rest of the wine into the sink. Eis set the record straight with Harry, and we all got an important lesson: don't believe everything you read on the internet.

Eis took us out for dinner in my new car, a tiny red BMW with every extra option available, and when Harry picked up a napkin for a lady at the next table, and she smiled at me and said, "What a lovely family you have," my eyes began leaking over dessert because it was true.

If Steven didn't sign those divorce papers soon, I was going to shove them up his stubborn backside.