Chapter 10

TEN

Cameron

What the hell was I thinking? What have I done?

I obviously wasn’t, or I never would have slept with Ford, or at least not until I knew where we stood.

What happens now? Are we dating for real, or is this still all fake? Does he regret it? Is he freaking out right now too?

I can hear him in the shower and panic starts to really set in as I picture him standing in there, wondering how he’s going to fix this and get me out of here.

Does he really have to go into work, or was that just an excuse to get away from me?

I should just leave. I should get out of here before he comes out and things get really awkward. Maybe I can just leave and we can pretend like it never happened. Sure, it will be hard, but it’s better than the alternative of him turning me down. I’m not sure I could survive that.

Decision made, I scramble out of bed and gather up my clothes. I tug them on, listening to the water in the shower. It hasn’t turned off yet and I wonder if he always takes showers for that long or if he’s in there panicking as well.

I grab my keys and sneak out of his place and over to my car. I hurry to start the vehicle, and then I’m speeding off out of his driveway and down the road. It’s still early, and I don’t pass that many people as I drive back to my place.

When I park out front, I send up a silent prayer that Grams is still asleep so that I don’t have to answer any of her questions.

As I let myself inside though, I realize that I’m not that lucky.

“Good morning, dear,” Grams says, and I paste a smile on my face as I turn to greet her.

“Morning,” I say, trying to sound cheerful, but my voice breaks.

“What’s wrong, Cameron?” She asks, coming towards me.

It’s all just too much, and I break down as she reaches my side.

“I’m not dating Ford,” I admit to her through my tears.

“Oh, honey. Did something happen between you two? Did you have a fight?”

“No,” I sniffle.

“I’m sure that you’ll work it out. That boy is crazy about you.”

“No, Grams. We’re not dating. We never were. It was all pretend,” I admit, hanging my head in shame.

I expect her to be upset with me for lying to her, but to my surprise, my grandma just laughs.

“Of course, you two are dating. Everyone can see how much he loves you.”

“He doesn’t.”

“He does, and you love him too. It’s quite obvious, dear.”

She pats my hand, and I stare at her.

“We’re not in love,” I mumble, and she sighs.

“Yes, you are. You two need to stop playing games or pretending and just admit it to each other.”

I know that she’s right. I can’t avoid Ford, not while I work for him or live in Wolf Valley, and I can’t pretend that I only see him as a friend, not after last night and this morning.

I need to be brave and take a risk.

The thought terrifies me. I’m more scared than I was when I left to pursue an art career, and I swallow hard as I swipe at the tears on my cheeks.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me?” I whisper, and my grandma pats my shoulder.

“He does. You said that it was pretend? Well, it seems to me that he was doing and saying things he didn’t need to. Right? He was acting like you two were together even when he didn’t have to,” she points out.

“Yeah… but what if that was just practice? I mean, that’s what he told me when he agreed to be my fake boyfriend.”

“Was it?” Grams asks with a big laugh.

“Yeah…”

“Well, that’s a creative way to be able to kiss and touch you without you panicking. Seems that man knows you quite well.”

“He does,” I murmur, and she smiles.

“You two will figure it out. Now, I’m headed out. I’m going to meet the girls over at Doreen’s place for coffee this morning.”

“I can drive you,” I offer.

“No need. Janice is stopping by on her way over there.”

I hear a car pull up outside, and I tense, wondering if it’s Ford, but when I look, it’s Mrs. Abbot instead.

I help my grandma down the front porch steps and wave as she heads over to join her friend. Then I turn and head inside.

My brain is spinning, and I try to figure out my next steps as I head towards my bedroom.

Should I call him? Or wait until I run into him? How can I tell him that I love him, that I have for years?

How do I start a relationship with him without messing everything up between us?

Fear grips me and I take a deep breath.

I need to try. I can’t keep pretending like we’re just friends. Not after this week and definitely not after we slept together. I’ll tell him how I feel and then we can go from there.

It sounds so easy, but deep down, I’m petrified, imagining all of the ways this could go wrong.

I head into my bedroom, and I’m about to strip and take a shower when someone knocks on the door. My stomach drops as I freeze. I know that it can only be one person and I swallow hard as I turn and get ready to bare my heart to the only man who has ever owned it.