Chapter 6

6

W hatever resentment Edina had been feeling the evening before, disappeared the moment she saw the faces of the children in the church hall the next morning. They were bright and eager, and then she showed them the slates and chalks she had brought for them so that she could teach them to read. There was almost a stampede, so eager was each one of them to get their hands on one, and Edina felt herself well up with joy inside. The ability to read, write and count was going to be her gift to the children of Achnabreck, and she could not wait to bestow it.

Edina had been so nervous about her first real lesson with the children that she had hardly been able to sleep that night. As soon as she saw their obvious enthusiasm, though, the ability to instruct them came flowing out of her.

She had had a bigger version of their slates erected in the hall, and she began by writing down the alphabet on it and instructing them to copy it. Some children were better than others, of course, and Edina soon learned the ones with whom she would have to spend more time. However, she did not grudge them one extra minute, since she was learning as much from them as they were from her. Their eagerness fuelled her willingness to instruct them.

When the children rose to go home, one of the little girls came up to Edina and wrapped her arms around her hips.

"I have never had a mammy," she said sadly, then her whole face brightened up as she smiled at her. "But if I had, I would have wanted her tae be just like you, Mistress. I like ye very much. We a' dae."

She scampered away before Edina could think of a reply, but as she rode back to the castle, she felt a warmth spreading through her. She was making a difference, or hoped she was. If things happened the way she intended them to, these young people would have a better life because of her. Of course, she could not claim all the credit; there were many others involved; cooks, seamstresses, and the carpenters who were busy making desks and chairs. They were all contributing to the children's welfare and education in their own way.

Edina had never really thought about having children before, but now that she had experienced their warmth and enthusiasm, she felt for the first time that she could actually be a mother. Of course, that begged the question, who would the father be?

As soon as Edina rode through the gates, however, her spirits plunged. She saw Lewis striding across the courtyard, but she made no effort to speak to him. He tossed a glance at her and carried on walking, and Edina made her way to the dining room.

She was disappointed to find that she would have to eat her midday meal alone, since her menfolk were busy with tenants' matters and her mother and Lady Findlay were out visiting friends. Of course, Lewis had disappeared and was nowhere to be found.

Once she had finished her meal and pushed her empty plate away, Edina sat and thought about Aidan for a while. Lewis had not wanted to discuss him at all, and the people in Achnabreck had been distinctly hostile when she spoke of him. Whenever she had mentioned his name, there had been a bristling anger, and if the brothers had been as drunk and aggressive as they had described, she could understand that response.

As well as that, Lewis had been a different person since she came back. She knew that he missed Aidan terribly, and wondered if that was the reason he was so cold to her. However, she had no way of knowing for certain, since she had no brothers or sisters herself. She knew that her mother had miscarried many times and that being the only surviving child, she was doubly precious to her as a result. Lewis had only one brother, so perhaps the fact that he had lost him, albeit only temporarily, had rendered him unable or unwilling to get close to anyone else.

Wait till Aidan gets back! Edina thought angrily. I will give him a piece of my mind!

Then she thought about what Aidan's return would be like, and realised that although she would be angry with him, she would also be extremely glad to see him. She might even throw a feast in his honour!

However, she had a sneaking feeling that she was missing something. The villagers had been honest with her, granted, but Lewis had not, and his parents had both been distinctly evasive, as had her own.

I have to find out what he is hiding, she mused, then tried to work out a plan of action. Her first idea was to try to enter Lewis's bedchamber, but that was always locked when he was not there, and he kept the only key. The Laird and her father were using his study, and it was unlikely that she would find anything there anyway.

What about Aidan's room? she thought suddenly. She knew where it was, but thought that it might be locked and preserved, as it had been before Aidan's departure.

She crept upstairs and tried the door and to her surprise, it was unlocked, and she cautiously stepped inside, half-expecting it to be occupied, but the room was empty.

It had obviously not been used for a long time, though, since the furniture was covered in dust sheets and smelled stale and unused. The brown brocade curtains at the windows had faded to a dirty grey, and the fireplace had ashes in it that had obviously been there for years.

When Edina looked up she saw a gorgeously carved ceiling, as well as plaster curlicues it was decorated with hundreds of thickly woven spider webs. It could have been a beautiful room, but it had been left to rot, and Edina was appalled. How had this been allowed to happen? When Aidan came back from the sea, he would be furious.

She could remember him being fastidious about the tiniest things, like a chip on his favourite wooden sword or a dirt mark on the general of his toy army's uniform.

She smiled at the thought, then laughed softly as she saw the offending officer standing on the desk, looking clean and smart, if a little dusty. In her mind's eye, she saw the little Aidan marching his toy army along his imaginary battlefield, looking comically fierce and letting out imaginary blood-curdling war cries.

However, she had no time to savour the memory, since she heard footsteps approaching and stopping outside the door. The loud, heavy footfalls could only belong to one person—Lewis.

Quick as a flash, Edina dove under the dust sheet that hung over the side of the bed on the furthest side from the door. There was not enough space for her to crawl under the bed itself, but she curled up and made herself as small as she could, slowed her breathing and waited. Her position was incredibly uncomfortable, but it could not be helped. Hopefully, she would find something extremely useful.

Presently, she heard the sound of Lewis pacing across the room, muttering to himself. Edina could only make out an odd word here and there, but those she could hear were not the kind he would have spoken in the company of ladies. She had never heard him utter such foul profanities before, and she was shocked, although she told herself that he was just like any other man. His clothes might be more expensive and his manners outwardly more refined, but inside he was just like any of the labourers or farm-workers.

Suddenly, he let out a roar and banged his fists on the desk, almost knocking off the toy soldier on top of it. Edina looked up tentatively and saw that Lewis had his face buried in his hands, and was moaning piteously.

She sprang to her feet without thinking, then rushed over to him and pulled his hands away from his face. His eyes opened wide with shock, then he pushed away from her and growled, "What are you doing here?" He backed away from her and stood behind a chair as if to put a barrier between them.

If Edina had not known better, she might have thought he was afraid, but Lewis could not possibly be scared of her. She was no threat to him at all.

"I-I came to see if I could find out a bit more about Aidan," she answered.

"If you wanted to know more about him, you could have asked me," he said irritably. "I am his brother, after all."

"I have tried asking you," she pointed out, "but you will not talk to me, and neither will anyone else, except the people in the village, who do not seem to have liked him very much. Is there a secret I am not party to? I wanted to give him a celebration when he came home to welcome him back. I would really love to be on the quayside at Dundee when his ship arrives."

Lewis sighed heavily, shook his head, and sat down on a chair beside the fireplace. He put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his hands. He waited to speak for such a long time that Edina felt like shaking him.

"There is no secret," he replied at last. "My brother was a drunkard. At first, we both were, then I realised that I was ruining my life. I succeeded in stopping, but he just couldn't. It started when we fell in with a few louts in the village, and we thought at first they were our friends. They always invited us to join them, and we had a lot of good times together, especially when there were some pretty girls around."

He sighed and ran his hands back through his hair in a gesture of agitation. "But people have different ways of getting drunk, Edina. Some are funny and merry, some fall asleep, and some become aggressive. I used to become drowsy, but Aidan became aggressive and often started fights with some other men, especially the customers of the Fatted Calf.

Aid-…my brother was too blind to see it, but those thugs were taking advantage of him because he was the Laird's son. It took me a while to see it too, but when I did, I could not believe how stupid we had been. Everything became clear to me suddenly one night when I heard two of them talking about us, not knowing I was within earshot.

They were laughing, and congratulating each other on how well they were manipulating us. Their eventual aim was to win our confidence and inveigle their way into the castle to steal whatever they could. I said nothing but dragged my brother home.

My father forbade him from having any alcohol and locked him in his room for three whole months, but he managed to bribe one of the guards to bring some in for him. When my father found out, he sacked the guard."

He paused and stared into space for a moment, looking back into the past, then he covered his hands with his face again. When he spoke, his tone was bitter.

"After that, he seemed to be cured, then for a while there were no problems, and life went back to normal, or so we thought. Then we heard that he was going out to the tavern again, causing trouble. My father forbade him from going into the village at all, then he locked the wine cellar and kept the only key."

He stood up again and paced over to the window, and now his anger was palpable. "One morning he was late for breakfast, and I came up to rouse him from bed, only to find that he had already risen. Then I saw the letter on his bed. I read it and showed it to my father. It said that he was going to sea, and would be back when he was ready."

"Ready for what?" Edina asked, frowning.

"God knows," Lewis replied dully.

"Did he tell you the name of the ship he was going on?" Edina asked. "Perhaps we can enquire about it."

Lewis had had enough. "I think it was the Fair Queen, but do you know how many ships embark from Dundee?" he asked angrily. "Hundreds every month. Even if I knew the name, which I don't, I would never be able to find it. Leave it, Edina. There will be no feast."

"But, Lewis, do you not care?" she asked desperately. "I know you do. I know how much you loved each other—still do. Do you not want him back?"

For a moment they stared at each other, then he strode across to her in four long strides and did the last thing Edina had expected.

Lewis looked down at Edina's full red lips, and his body stirred and stiffened. He could no more control his response to her than he could hold back the tide. Yes, he wanted to distract her and stop her talking about Aidan, but he would be lying if he told himself that was the only reason.

He wanted to kiss her because he needed to feel her pliant woman's body pressed against his; because of the sweet musk that wafted from her skin; because he craved the taste of those tempting lips.

Yet, that was not the only reason either, and as he stepped forward and drew her into his arms, he realised that he was too weak and he simply could not help himself. The moment he felt the softness of her breasts pressing against his chest, he was lost. He had imagined that moment so many times, but it surpassed his expectations tenfold.

He could tell by her startled, untutored response that he was the first man who had ever kissed her, and if he had been aroused before, he was doubly so now. Those were virgin lips, and he was the first to taste them. He pried them open with the tip of his tongue, and began to stroke her tongue, and in a moment she began to copy him, tentatively at first, then with more confidence. He groaned with pleasure and began to rub his hips against hers, hearing her whimper helplessly.

Edina had fantasised about this moment ever since she returned from Inverness, and in her mind, she had imagined a pleasant experience of her mouth being pressed against Lewis's, but nothing more. She certainly had not expected this sensual assault, the softness of his lips, and the strangest but most sensual experience of all; his tongue stroking hers.

She felt again the pleasant fluttering and moisture between her legs that she associated with Lewis, since he was the only person who ever made her feel this way. God, it was glorious!

She plunged her hands into his hair. It was thick, luxuriant, and as she felt it run between her fingers she imagined that this was what strands of silk must feel like. Lewis smelled of leather, sweat, and something indefinable and carnal that was all his own. Was there anything about this man that was not infinitely desirable?

Lewis drew away from her at last, although it seemed it was one of the most difficult things he had ever had to do.

He swallowed and said huskily, "I am so sorry, Edina. That should not have happened. Forgive me."

"Forgive you?" Edina asked in disbelief. "I will not because there is nothing to forgive, Lewis. I loved it."

She took a step forward to close the distance between them again, but Lewis took hold of her upper arms to stop her.

He realised that if he stood in front of Edina for much longer he would not be able to resist her, so he shook his head and sidestepped around her.

"I have to go," he muttered.

He broke into a run, as if eager to be away from her, but he knew the truth; he was running away from himself and his desire for her.

Edina watched him until he disappeared from sight. She did not feel rejected, though; she had come to know Lewis better now and was accustomed to his strange moods. He was no longer the enigma he had once been.

Yet, every so often there was so much pain in his eyes she could hardly bear to look into them, and she desperately wanted to soothe his agony. Edina had made up her mind. Gradually she was piecing together the puzzle of his personality, and she was sure that one day soon she would uncover the secret she knew he was hiding.