Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

HARPER

I look at myself in the mirror, now dressed and prepared to meet three of the men who raped me. I told Ash I was ready, but am I really? Am I prepared to confront these men? Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever be, but I know I have to do this.

A knock on the door breaks me from my thoughts. I look up and see Ash. He smiles softly, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me as he looks at me through the mirror.

“You are breathtaking, Harper.” I smile softly gazing into his eyes into the reflection of the mirror.

“I’m in a hoodie and jeans, Ash. It’s not like I’m dressed for the Oscars.”

He laughs, spinning me around. “When are you going to get this through your thick skull? Yes, you are physically beautiful, and I will always tell you that, baby, but I mean you. Your soul and your strength.” His hands cup my face, pulling me in for a delicate kiss. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? It’s okay not to be.”

“I have to be there, Ash. I have to look into their eyes and know they can’t hurt me anymore.”

He nods, understanding. “Okay, baby, but if you feel triggered or want to leave in any way, you can. You just tell me, and I will get you out of there so fast you won’t even realize it.”

I exhale slowly. “Are they all together?”

He shakes his head, “No, sweetheart, Jax moved them. They’re still unconscious. Two in separate rooms and one in the basement. We can bring them downstairs one by one if you want.”

“I want them all awake. I want them to hear each other screaming, not knowing when it will be their turn.”

He looks strangely proud of me. “Okay, you ready to leave now?” I nod and he turns from me, walking into his closet. He pulls down a black, hard case, bringing it to the bed. “Come here.”

I walk over to him, “The code on this is one-one-zero-six.”

“Ellie’s birthday.”

“You know that?”

“It was on the gravestone. I made a note of it, thinking maybe I could take her flowers on her birthday next month.”

“I… That would be nice, Angel.”

I run my fingers down his arm, “What’s in the case?”

He unlocks and opens it. Five guns are in there, nuzzled in amongst foam. He lifts the foam out and underneath are the bullets. “You know how to use this?”

I nod, “Yeah… Brooke’s dad used to let me go to the range with them. He told me he would feel better me being alone in the house if I knew how to shoot. He brought me a gun for my eighteenth. Can you believe it?”

“Remind me to thank him one day.”

I smile as he hands me a gun. I pick up the bullets, loading them before tucking the weapon into my jeans—safety on, of course.

“Baby, I’m sorry, but that was so fucking sexy…” He grabs my wrist, pulling me into him as he kisses me so passionately and takes my breath away. He pulls back slowly, “Shit, I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have.”

My hand reaches out and pulls him back to me as I reignite the kiss, showing him just as much passion. As we pull away, I whisper, “Don’t ever apologize for kissing me or touching me in any way, Ash.”

His fingers tuck my hair behind my ear. “I was worried because I grabbed you…”

“I don’t feel that way around you, Ash. I know you could never hurt me, and my brain does too… Have you not noticed I don’t flinch around you anymore? That I don’t tense or freeze?”

He nods, “I did but… I just never want to make you feel uncomfortable around me.”

“I don’t, I promise you, and even though I’m not ready for…well, anything else right now, I know I will be with you.”

“There’s no pressure, Harps, I hope you know that. I’m happy, and I think that’s the first time I can honestly say that and mean it. I don’t need anything more right now. Just having you here with me is enough.”

“I love you, Ash.”

“I love you too, Angel.” He kisses my forehead before grabbing two of the guns and loading them. He tucks them both in the back of his jeans before locking the case and putting it back in the closet.

“Now that was sexy…” I laugh.

“Baby, you have no idea… Listen,” he suddenly gets serious, “I need you to know that sometimes when I do this kinda stuff… Well, I lose myself a little bit and I want you to know that you don’t have to be scared of me.”

“I’m not.”

He smiles sadly, “I hope you still say that after…” he takes my hand, “Are you ready to go?”

I nod and we walk downstairs to see Nate.

“Jax left to, well, you know. I thought Harper might need a friend.” He looks at me, but I shake my head, letting go of Ash and sitting on the sofa with him.

“Nate, I need you to go back. I don’t want you to be here for the next bit. I love you, but right now, I just need to focus on this, and I don’t think I can do that with you here. I need you to be safe. The guys said if you’re gone too long, it can be dangerous and as much as I want you to just be done with all of this, I think it’s clear we need you to keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Harper, being here with you is important.”

“Not as important as you staying alive.”

He sighs and looks over to Ash for support.

“I agree with her. We’ve had this conversation before. Chase will kill me if anything happens to you.”

“Have you seen him?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Not since I left… I can’t see him without seeing Brooke… I’m not quite ready for that reunion yet.”

My heart breaks for him; he lost the girl he loved to his brother and now he’s lost his entire life. Everyone thinks he’s dead, gone forever.

“Do you think…and I know I’m going against what I said, but in the next couple of days…can you come back. I really want to just talk to you properly.”

“I’ll try, I promise.”

“That’s all I can ask.” I stand up walking back over to Ash, “Okay, let’s go,”