61. Elianna

Chapter sixty-one

Elianna

Sitting on the outskirts of the training fields with Nox, I hugged my knees tightly to my chest as I gazed up at the night sky. The stars twinkled as if it were any other beautiful night in the valley—only it now felt empty and cold.

“Nox, what have I done?” My words were barely audible as I leaned into his scale-covered body. He lifted his enormous head and nuzzled his chin on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. I couldn't bring myself to confess that I had lost faith in finding solace in anything.

We had sent the soldiers home to enjoy any time they could with their families before our inevitable departure, but I couldn’t bring myself to see my own. How could I look them in the eyes, knowing I had doomed us all? My aide and co-seconds spoke words of comfort and forgiveness, but how could I believe them when I couldn’t even forgive myself?

I had done the unthinkable—I had lost my sister and a member of my court, and now she sits in the hands of the enemy. Not only that, but nearly every attempt to collect more allies ended in defeat or ruin, only aiding the wicked queen’s victory.

Time was up. There was nothing, and no one else left. My throat felt as if it was being crushed beneath the weight of Idina’s heel, knowing she was winning the great war as we neared its end.

Footsteps sounded behind us, but I didn’t have to turn to know who it was as I remained hugging my body, tucked beneath Nox’s wing.

Jace sat down at my side and leaned against the wyvern. I felt his stare boring into my cheek, but I couldn’t bring myself to face him—couldn’t bring myself to even speak.

“ Do you want to talk about it? ” he spoke into my mind.

A huff left me. “ No .”

His hand wrapped around my own as it fell to the ground. “ Okay, then let me rephrase. I need you to talk about it, and tell me what is churning in that head of yours, Lia. I can’t help you otherwise . And I refuse to let you simmer in it on your own. ”

I turned to face him then. “I fucked everything up. Not a single thing I’ve done has worked or aided us. She’s always one step ahead of me. No matter how smart I pretend or try to be, she slithers through the cracks and rips everything out from beneath me! Beneath all of us. She’s never set foot in battle, yet she sits on my throne and has seized my kingdom.”

My fingernails dug into the palms of my hands.

“She clawed her way there through deception and murder. There isn’t a single part of her that has demonstrated battle intellect, Elianna. ”

I huffed out a grunt as I shoved to my feet, and he mimicked the movement. Nox went on high alert then, his head lifting from the ground as his golden eyes narrowed in on us intently. Jace and I now stood chest to chest.

“No?! Explain then, Jace, please! Everything I have been able to provide for our armies, she has matched. We are cornered in the realm, with nowhere else to go. I was a captain, Jace! Yet she has continued to outsmart me in this war.”

“You’ve done everything right! Broken oaths and malicious lies don’t define you and the kind of leader you are, Elianna. The world is not kind, nor is it fair. It’s horrible and wicked and deadly, but we must work to fight against it, or all of this was for nothing!” he bellowed. His stare roamed over me. “So, go on. Let it all out. What else? Whatever else is eating you alive, tell me here and now.” His tone was authoritative—one he never used with me.

Nox let out a low growl. I placed my hand on his side to ease him, and the rumbling ceased. I knew this conversation with Jace was long overdue, but Nox couldn't be here with the tension in our voices—he would work to protect me against my mate, and that was the last thing I needed. What I truly needed was to be protected from myself. And Jace… Jace knew that.

I looked into my wyvern’s stare and said, “I will be okay. Go back to the estate. We’ll find you once we return.”

He let out a huff through his nostrils, and his stare narrowed in on Jace.

“She is safe with me. You know that,” my mate assured him. And after a grumble of annoyance, Nox shot into the sky.

Suffocating silence wrapped around us, and I swallowed thickly as I stood beneath my husband’s piercing stare.

“My actions and methods have doomed us, Jace. Can’t you see that? My own sister is captured, stuck in the hands of the enemy across the continent. We had Nox and Veli on our side. That was it! We went to the isles for allies, and all it did was present our enemy with their own witches and wyvern. We are evenly matched in numbers and magic; only our men are significantly weaker. I’m the descendant of the first of the fae, and I can’t even get the realm to answer my call. Idina is right, and I’m a fuckup. The prophecy is bullshit.”

He took a step closer to me, his breath warm on my nose. “Speak that way about my wife one more time, and you will regret those words.” A growl rumbled through him.

My lips parted. “Jace, this isn’t a game. I’m being serious.” A single tear slipped and rolled down my cheek.

“And so am I. Don’t speak of my queen that way.” He took my chin between his fingers and forced my stare to meet his. “Tell me what you need.”

A hate-filled laugh left me. “I need to hit something. I need to scream and erupt and get my fucking kingdom back, Jace.” My voice cracked.

“Then do everything you just said.” His head tilted as his eyes remained locked on mine.

My hands lifted to rub my temples. “I’m working on it. ”

His hand shot out then and gripped my wrist, making my eyes flare. “No, you aren’t.” He released his hold on me and took a single step back, his arms stretched out low at his sides. “Hit me. Scream. Erupt. And then we will take your fucking kingdom back. It’s not going to work until you start with what you need first, sweetheart.”

I let out a bewildered huff, feeling my breath catch in my throat. “Hit you? I’m not going to hurt you, Jace. You’re the last person I would do that to.” My eyes narrowed in on him in confusion.

A smirk played on the edge of his lips. “You’re not going to hurt me, baby.”

He moved to strike then, his fist coming for my side in a slower movement that I easily side-stepped, trying to provoke me.

“What are you doing?!” I spat, and then we moved to circle each other. “I’m not going to fight you.”

“I’m not fighting you—I’m sparring with you. Training you. We all need reminders sometimes, Lia. Get just enough of your anger out to be levelheaded and then release the rest on the queen once we arrive at her gates.” Without warning, his foot hooked under my ankle, and he sent my body crashing down to the terrain.

My gaze whipped to him, my lip curling back. “That’s my move.” I jumped up to my feet then.

“Do you not like when your own tactics are used against you, my queen?”

An annoyed cackle left me as we moved around each other in a predator-like dance. “And tell me, husband, why is it now that you choose to go full commander on me? ”

“You didn’t need it before, but I see now that you’ve lost hope, and it's not something I’m willing to accept for you. It’s not just you in this, Lia. It’s both of us and our court that’s waiting for us to come home. When one of us falters, the other provides strength.”

“I can’t show them I’m feeling this way. They’re relying on me to lead them into war! They can’t see me unraveling like this.”

“You’re not showing them, Lia. You’re showing me . I feel everything you feel. Every burst of joy, fear, and heartache. I’ve told you before, and I will say it again—you are the crown, and I am your sword. I will fight any battle for you that I can, so long as you let me. So share this with me, Lia. It shouldn’t only be your burden to bear.”

My breathing quickened at his words, and what he said next was spoken into my mind. “ Now, be a good girl and do as you’re told. You’ll never get out of your own head without the release you need . This is life or death, and you’re not going into battle without being as levelheaded as possible .”

I let his words seep into me, and my lips tilted into a grin. “As you wish.”

Without another thought, I lunged at him. Jace expertly blocked every blow I threw at him. His maneuvers were effortless and composed, yet he didn’t counterattack.

My throat tightened as my body unveiled all the built-up tension, devastation, and wrath that festered within it.

Visions of the queen flashed through my memory with every strike I made. Of her staring at me with pure hatred in her eyes when she caught me using her hairbrush as a youngling. The look on her face when I watched her emerge from my father’s chambers with his wine the last night I saw him alive. How she appeared in our room on our gods-damn wedding night and threatened me, my mate, and people.

“Come on, Lia. Harder,” Jace urged, his voice steady and strong, yet soothing.

Frustration seeped into every punch and kick I threw at him, causing them to become more forceful, yet all he did was continue to block. “Why won't you fight back?!” I shouted, my voice breaking with emotion.

Jace finally grabbed my wrist mid-punch and pulled me close, our chests heaving as they pressed together. “Because this isn't about me. It's about you . Let it out, Elianna.”

I nearly broke down right there as my husband confessed he only wanted to let me unleash the storm brewing within myself—even if it was at his expense.

In a burst of raw emotion, I let out a primal scream that echoed through the valley and wrenched my wrist free. Jace dropped his arms and purposefully absorbed a hit, my fist hitting his chest as if it were a solid wall.

A grunt left him at the impact. A mixture of tears and sweat streamed down my cheeks as the weight of my actions sunk in, but when my eyes met his, I was met with nothing but pride and satisfaction.

My body faltered. Panting heavily with trembling hands, I nearly dropped to my knees. Jace caught me then, his own breaths ragged, as he wrapped his arms around my body and fell to the terrain with me. I collapsed against him, burying my face in his shoulder as he held me tightly to his chest .

“It's okay, Lia. I'm here,” he whispered softly.

My body shook with silent sobs, the rage and frustration slowly fading away, replaced by the comfort of him .

“Thank you,” I said, voice hoarse.

He cupped my face in his calloused hands, brushing away a tear with his thumb. “Always.”

With a deep, shuddering breath, I leaned in and kissed him softly, savoring the way our lips met tenderly. I was thankful for the moment of shared vulnerability. When he broke the kiss, he brought his forehead to mine as our breaths mingled.

“We’re going to save Velyra. We’re going to get Avery and your kingdom back. We'll get through this, my Lia. Just as we always have,” Jace whispered. “Together.”

I nodded, a small smile breaking through the remnants of my fury and heartache. “Together.”