9. The Queen

Chapter nine

The Queen

My entire world had suddenly been ripped from beneath my feet, and an ear-shattering scream of agony tore through my throat as the unbearable sensation of hollowness flooded me.

My body shrank against the wall of my bedroom chambers as I desperately pulled on the tether, the bond that tied our very souls together, to be met with nothing . There was nothing and no one on the other end of the line that I had become so dependent on since I was just seventeen years of age.

Tears rushed down my flushed cheeks as pain, mighty and unfaltering, erupted through my chest, echoing through every vein as our bond was severed. The world around me instantly lost its vibrancy; the colors of my vision dulled as the realization slammed into me that Callius was truly gone.

Every corner of the castle would now forever echo with his absence. His booming laughter that we only shared in the privacy of my chambers late in the evenings for all these centuries. His constant presence at my back to make sure I was always safe and the comforting rhythm of his breathing as we slept together in secret for nearly the entirety of our lives.

Suffocating loneliness enveloped me. My gaze wandered up to the empty space in my bed, which would now indefinitely remain vast and cold, a constant reminder of what I'd lost— my mate . His scent lingered in the chamber, and I found myself desperately searching for any piece of him, clutching them tightly in the need to capture his essence.

My grief was relentless, swarming through me like a sudden, violent storm. The weight of the realm and my father’s ancient vision forcefully pressed down on my chest, making me desperate for air that refused to inflate my lungs.

I had shared every aspect of my life with Callius, and now the void of losing him was nothing but a deep, gaping hole in what was left of my decaying heart.

I reluctantly pulled myself to my feet and straightened my gown as I wandered over to my vanity’s mirror. I gazed into my own eyes, once pools of warm honey, now darkened by all-consuming rage and grief. Grief for the life I could’ve had if I had been permitted to.

I had been born for the sole purpose of this responsibility—infiltrating the crown. A duty my father bestowed upon me when I was still an infant in my mother’s womb before he knew what the gods had planned for his daughter.

In an instant, my mind transported me back to the pivotal day that changed the trajectory of my life forever .

My fingers twisted in my lap the whole carriage ride to Isla’s harbor, where a ship awaited to bring us home to our small city of Doraeli off the coast of the Vayr Sea. Our annual meeting with the king, queen, and Jameson had been delightful, as it was on every annual trip. I could easily see myself being the consort to the kind and handsome male, though we hardly knew each other. But to be queen...it was all my father wished for and the sole purpose of my birth.

I smiled to myself, knowing I would be a doting wife and queen, the kind the realm needed, just as Jameson would be as their king.

The carriage ground to a sudden halt, and my father opened the door, sticking his hand back in to help me out. “Come, Idina.”

I took his offered hand, stepped down, and became enchanted as I faced dark brown curls that tousled in the wind as it rolled off of the sea’s waves. And suddenly, all thoughts of Jameson escaped my mind.

The male appeared to be a few years older than me, as I just turned fifteen, and he wore the mark of a sailor for the sea trade upon his cloak. I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by his appearance. His gaze darkened as it found my own while introducing himself, and immediately, I found myself resenting the life the gods bestowed upon me at birth.

As our ship sailed over the waves, he walked alongside me atop its deck, speaking of his love for life at sea, and as we neared the dock of Doraeli, my heart sank. There was so much more to this male I wished to know—longed and needed to know. The thought of never seeing him again had my lips in a near tremble.

I turned from him and searched for my father, whose back was to me as he spoke with the captain of the ship. My eyes met Callius’ once more as I gently placed my hand atop his own as it rested on the rail. “I do not wish to leave you. Will I ever see you again?”

His eyes softened as he stared down at me. “My duty is to that of the ship. I have signed my life away as a sailor, Miss Idina.”

I shook my head as my throat clogged. “No, my father is a lord and a friend of the king. He could easily get you out of a contract and find you work.”

He gave me a gentle smile as he combed his fingers through his curls. “I wish I could do that, but I have a duty to uphold. This was my dream. But I do hope to see you every time I make port in Doraeli. I will make time to find you and visit your family’s estate.”

My smile dropped as I realized that this could never be. “My father would never allow that. If we were to see each other, it would need to be in secret.” I couldn’t even believe the words as they came out of my mouth—I never lied or went against my father, but something inside me was screaming to do just that.

Callius’ lips tilted in a menacing smile as he guided me to a hidden corner of the ship, where no other eyes and ears may lie upon us. He took my hand in his and lifted it to his lips, pressing them against my skin. “Then let this be our first occurrence of secrecy.”

Heat rose to my cheeks, and suddenly, the crew was shouting about needing to dock.

When we rushed out from the shadows of where we hid, my father shot me a look and then offered me his arm. I curtsied to Callius and the rest of the crew before he escorted me down the gangplank and into the city. Sneaking peeks back at the ship, I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away, already longing for our next secret encounter.

And now, two years later, we were still sneaking around together in the dead of night every time he made port in Doraeli—talking of life, holding hands, and stealing kisses that felt as if one of the gods themselves placed it upon my lips.

My heart raced as my thoughts consumed me. I was now seventeen years of age and expected to see Jameson for our annual meeting in mere weeks. The idea of it made my throat nearly clog, and I knew I would have to tell Callius the truth of why we had to sneak around so carefully behind my father’s back. Originally, I had told him it was due to him being a mere sailor, and the lie tasted wretched on my tongue.

“I must tell you something,” I said to him as a tear slid down my cheek.

He swiped it away with his thumb as we lay in a field beneath the stars outside of the city. “You can tell me anything, Idina.”

With those words from him, I burst into a river of tears and told him everything. Of my duty to the kingdom and my father. The look of devastation on his face would’ve sent me to my knees if I wasn’t already on the ground as he listened to my words of being promised to another at birth—but not just any other—the future king of the realm.

When I was finished, Callius cupped my cheek in his calloused hand, rough from manning the ships in the sea, as he looked me in the eye and said, “Stay. With me.”

In that moment, I knew I was doomed to live a life of heartache and regret, knowing my father would kill us both if I were to break my vow.

Before I could answer him, he firmly pressed his lips to mine—it was all-consuming and ignited something inside of me. Without a single rational thought, we made love for the first time beneath the Velyran stars, feeling nothing but pure magic flowing between us.

I was innocent in the ways of males. Was this how it always felt? Or was it my love for Callius that made it so intense and beautiful? All I knew for certain was that I was terrified my father would somehow discover my treachery of his oath to the Valderres.

After another hour of laying together in intimate silence, Callius walked me back to my family’s massive estate. My body trembled with fear the entire stroll beneath the moonlight, making him even more on edge and protective.

“I will be fine, this I promise you,” I lied to him.

A growl erupted in his chest. “Your fear is palpable. I can feel it.”

My eyes flared, unknowing of why he was so certain of this, but I cupped his cheek with my hand and assured him again that he was just being paranoid. I could sense his anger just as he sensed my panic and lies.

Once at the front gate of our estate, he kissed me fiercely with a gleam of what could only be described as pure love in his eyes. “I will find you tomorrow before my ship leaves port.” My heart sank in my chest as I realized he would be forced to leave me again for many weeks at sea. With a final kiss goodbye, he turned from me and quietly stalked down the walkway.

Once he was out of sight, I tiptoed through my home’s door. My stomach dropped as I was met with the unforgiving faces, twisted with disgust, of not only my father but my older brother as well.

“Where have you been?” my father bellowed.

“Her scent is different,” my brother announced as he sniffed the air with a scowl on his face.

“What?” I whispered, sniffing the air in confusion at his words.

My father's eyes widened as he stormed up to me and gripped my wrist so tightly that I thought it would surely snap in his grasp. I hissed in pain as I looked up into his eyes as my own were overrun with tears of fear.

“Father, I—” I pleaded, but was cut off by the grip of his other hand, latching onto my long auburn curls as he huffed my supposedly new scent into his nostrils.

“What have you done?!” he boomed in my face, the veins in his neck straining.

My mother came running down the stairs at the same moment Callius burst through the front door, and the five of us now stood there, staring at each other in tense, unnerving silence. I swallowed thickly, knowing that chaos was about to ensue.

I thought my kin was going to kill Callius right then and there until my mother and I jumped between them all, arms stretched wide to keep them apart, begging for them to stop.

“You cannot interfere with what the gods have planned for her,” my mother pleaded to her husband. “They have accepted the bond, and if they wish for it to remain, we must allow it. The Valderres may never notice the scent change, for they have only met her once annually since her birth.”

My father struck my mother then, and I screamed at the sight, covering my mouth in pure horror .

“Stop it!” I screamed. “What do you mean? What is going on, Father? Please, just tell me!”

My mother’s eyes met mine, her cheek red and swollen. “You have locked a mating bond in place, Idina. Your scent has changed, mingling with this male’s.” She gestured to Callius, who was huffing through his nostrils, the veins in his neck straining in fury. His lips curled back, looking as if he would lunge at my father if he struck me as he had done to his wife.

My eyes widened in absolute disbelief and terror. A mate?! They were so rare—a phenomenon gifted from the gods to find the other half of your soul. And they had gifted one to me. What should’ve been a beautiful and rare gift had turned into a nightmare before my very eyes. And Callius and I making love had locked this bond of our souls into place.

My father stepped forward, looming over Callius, and gripped him by the collar of his tunic, threatening his life and telling him to stay away from me.

I snarled at his words. “You cannot keep me from him. I love him! I don’t care about some oath you made before I was even breathing. This is what I choose.”

I thought my father would truly strike me then, but then my mate’s hand reached around my waist, tucking me behind him. “I will pledge my life to you and your family. Never again will I set sail away from her if you allow me to stay at her side. I will do anything to remain here, even if that means shattering my heart when she weds the future king.”

I sucked in a sharp breath at his words.

And after a screaming argument between everyone that lasted until dawn, my father accepted Callius’ proposal, stating he could always use another set of eyes and ears within the castle walls.

Snapping out of the memory, my nails dug into the palms of my hands. Everything had changed after that night—and Callius had been at my side ever since. Protecting me, watching over me and my children, and loving me in secret as I was forced to falsely claim that my undying love was, in fact, not for my mate but for the king of the realm.

As the tormenting memories faded, my grief morphed into the purest and most relentless wrath I had ever known. They offered glimpses of the love we shared behind closed doors and curtains for centuries, serving as a painful reminder of what had always been taken from me—my mate. And now, the other half of what remained of my soul had been ripped away from me indefinitely.

As the realization dawned on me once more, I let out a gasp for air, clutching my chest as I continued to blindly stare into the vanity mirror. I suddenly heaved over and vomited onto the floor of my chambers as my stomach twisted in painful knots.

This couldn’t be real, it simply just couldn’t. How?! How could Callius have met his fate on a quest as simple as searching for those who traitorously fled my city? And our son was with him. Our son. The son who shared my honey-hued stare and Callius’ dark ringlet curls that I hadn’t seen since the day we set sail toward Isla for the final time—when he had been forced to cut it as he was officially knighted into the king’s guard to remain at my side .

I would now have to sit here in this gods-forsaken castle, stewing in the unknown regarding the whereabouts of my children until Adler returned with the news of how my Callius had been killed. For the first time since I was just seventeen years old, I felt utterly hopeless and alone.

A knock sounded on my bedroom chamber door.

“ What? ” I snapped, tone vicious.

The door creaked open, revealing three castle guards with their hands resting on the pommels of their swords. One of them, Braynon, I believed his name to be, spoke. “My Queen, we heard screaming a few moments ago, and it sounded as if it came from your chamber.”

I quickly swiped away the tears of rage that slipped from me. “And you knock instead of barging through to rescue your queen?”

All three of their faces sank in terror as their eyes bulged. My mind raced as they stood before me. I no longer had Callius to assist with inciting fear among the masses, and the city had been divided ever since my own daughter started a rebellion in Elianna’s name. Whisperings of treason had made their way to my ears in the castle, and that simply wouldn’t do. I had come too fucking far to lose anything more than I already had.

Another went to speak, but I raised my hand and silenced him. “You will gather all that remains of the city guards and soldiers within Isla. No one leaves or enters my city unless it is of those who left to retrieve the traitors. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” they said in unison .

“Excellent,” I said as I straightened the front of my gown. “I want around the clock watch in the city streets. No gatherings will be permitted. And there will be a curfew when the moon is highest in the night sky. Anyone who disobeys orders is to be executed. No exceptions.”

If the people of Isla thought it was unbearable to live under my rule before, I would make sure they realized how incredibly wrong they had originally been.

All of their eyes flared as they stared at me in disbelief.

Braynon’s gaze then drifted to the vomit on the floor. I moved to step around it, blocking the view, and then his eyes met my dagger-like stare.

“Has something happened, Queen Idina?” another whispered.

My eyes shot to the mouthy one that dared question his monarch. “Is a reason necessary?” His mouth parted, and the scent of his fear stung my nostrils. “Every single able-bodied guard and soldier is to work day and night watching over the city, only taking necessary sleeping breaks until I demand otherwise. Now, have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” echoed off my chamber walls.

“Perfect. Get out of my sight,” I seethed, and they all nearly ran out the door.

I stormed over to my window that overlooked the city and its bordering sea. A snarl worked its way across my lips as I stared down at the ungrateful masses while the gaping ache in my chest threatened to make me collapse.

What was once my father’s dream had now become my reality. I was the queen of the realm until my son returned, and the Valderre line was now permanently removed from the throne. And not a single one of the males that had ventured alongside me was alive to see the conquest of it.