1. Mai

Chapter one

Mai

M y foot whistled past his head, less than an inch from his perfect fucking jaw.

He grinned at me. “You missed, baby.”

No shit.

I snapped my leg back and then drove it forward into his solar plexus.

“Oof.” The air was knocked out of his lungs as he stumbled back. I pressed my advantage, aiming for his head again—this time with a roundhouse kick. Too late, I saw the wicked glint in his eyes and felt the jolt of satisfaction pulse through our bond.

He darted toward me, catching my leg with one hand as his other hand snaked around my waist. Picking me up, he took two quick steps and slammed us into the gym wall.

Fuck!

Ryan had baited me, and I’d walked straight into it. My hormones were putting me on edge. I knew that, but I’d dismissed Ryan’s suggestion that it was going to cost me in a fight. Only now, he and I both had proof of it. When he asked me to join him this evening in the new gym he’d installed at the Alpha House, I’d known what he was planning but I’d been so sure that I could handle it. But it had been way too easy for Ryan to wind me up and for me to stop thinking. I’d just wanted to wipe that cocky grin off his face, and instead, he had me pressed up against the wall, his whole body caging me in.

I licked my lips, feeling the heat from his body against me, his legs between mine. And that was the other thing these hormones were doing to me. I would go from angry to horny like the flick of a switch.

Ryan lowered his eyes to my lips. “Nuh-huh. No distracting me, Mai. We need to talk.”

“After,” I breathed huskily, rolling my hips and pressing my breasts into him.

Yes, I was using every trick I had. So sue me; I was horny as hell, and Ryan was everything I wanted.

“Mai.” Ryan’s voice held a hint of warning.

My eyes widened, and I looked up at him as I whispered, “Are you saying you won’t fuck m—?”

His mouth crashed into mine before I could finish. Part of me felt smug that I could do this to him; the other part didn’t care. She only wanted him inside of me. Now.

I broke the kiss, pushing him back just far enough so I could yank off his clothes.

I don’t know if Ryan needed this as badly as I did or if my need was driving his through our bond, but he had me stripped of my clothes and completely naked before I could get his shirt off.

“Turn around,” he ordered. “Hands on the wall.”

I obeyed immediately. Hell, I’d do anything just to feel him moving inside of me. I could hear him stripping off, and it only made me wetter.

He kicked my legs apart and lightly trailed his fingers across my hips and ass.

This was taking way too long. “Ryan!”

“You know, I didn’t think it was possible for you to get any more impatient, but I stand corrected.”

I glared at him over my shoulder. “Either you do this now, or I’m getting my vibrator.”

Ryan laughed and tweaked one of my nipples. “You threw it away, remember.”

Shit. I did throw it away when we moved in to the Alpha House together. He knew my threat was empty. He had me exactly where he wanted. Panting and desperate.

“Ryan, please,” I begged this time.

“Keep your hands on the wall.”

His hands went to my hips, tilting them back to give himself access. Then he pushed inside of me. His cock was so wide that he had to ease it in, stretching me inch by slow inch until he filled me completely. It felt fucking delicious.

“This what you want?”

I threw my head back, just reveling in the sensation of him everywhere inside of me. “Yes, Goddess, yes!”

“Whatever my Alpha wants …”

His fingers gripped onto my hips, holding me steady and using me to anchor himself as he teasingly pumped out and in.

I could feel my juices running down my legs already. How did I get so turned on by him? Even after all these months, it still felt like the first time. He consumed me, body and soul, and I couldn’t get enough of him.

He set a rhythm that was neither fast nor slow but a steady pace designed to build my orgasm with each stroke. He knew exactly what I needed, and he gave it to me, thrusting his cock deep inside of me, then pulling out so only the tip remained before thrusting inside once again.

I knew I wasn’t going to last long. I never did these days, but Ryan would draw it out as long as possible for me.

The cool air in here brushed over my naked body, making me shiver with the sensation as the gym faded away. All I could focus on was the overwhelming sensation of Ryan filling me, his scent surrounding me, and the pleasure coursing through me. In that moment, all I wanted was Ryan. All I could think about was Ryan.

“Faster, please, Ryan!”

“Whatever my Alpha wants,” Ryan repeated, his fingers digging into my hips.

I moaned, the sound filling the room as he increased the pace, taking me to the edge and then pulling back, his control driving me crazy. I needed him to lose it, to pound into me uncontrollably.

“Please, please,” I begged, my voice hoarse and desperate. I arched my back and tilted my hips, giving him more access, opening myself up to him, willing him to take it.

I felt the restraint in him snap. With a rough growl, his thrusts became wilder, more primal as he surrendered to the desire burning between us.

“Oh, Goddess!” I cried, my fingers digging into the padded wall as I met his ferocious rhythm.

“That’s it, baby,” Ryan grunted, his hips pounding into me. “I want you to come all over my cock.”

His words sent me over the edge, my body convulsing around him as I shattered into a million pieces. I felt him shudder with his own orgasm, his hot cum exploding inside of me. It was incredible, delirious, delicious. I wanted to do this again and again. For it to never stop. I didn’t want to deal with being an Alpha or being pregnant right now. I just wanted Ryan to make me feel like this for the rest of the night.

Ryan’s thrusts slowed, and then he gently eased himself out of me. I almost whimpered, wanting to feel him inside for a bit longer.

He chuckled, knowing exactly what I was thinking. Then he turned me and pulled me to the floor.

I collapsed against him, panting heavily.

He pushed my hair from my eyes and kissed the tip of my nose.

“Feeling better?”

I sighed, snuggling closer to him. “Mmmm. For now.”

“Oh, I’m not nearly done with you. But we still need to talk.”

Not this again. “No, we really don’t,” I whispered sleepily.

“Mai, this is important. You’re—”

“It’s just the hormones, Ryan. It’ll settle down.”

He went silent for a moment, and I knew he was trying to work out how to say something without me losing it. “It’s not just the hormones. You’re restless and wound up all the time. Ever since you found out you’re pregnant. Are you … do you not want to be a mother? I know we didn’t talk about having kids, I know you weren’t ready, I know you’re scared about the deal I made with the Dark Goddess …”

“Ryan, stop, you’re rambling!” It was so out of character for him, it was almost cute. “It’s not that I don’t want to be a mom. You’re right; we didn’t talk about it before. If we had, I would have said that I do want kids, but not for a while. I wanted to be settled first, with you, with the Pack, with being an Alpha. It was a surprise, that’s all. I’ve had no time to get my head around the idea of me being a mother.”

“You’ll be a great mom, Mai.”

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. “You don’t know that. I never had any younger brothers or sisters. We don’t have cousins. I don’t know the first thing about being a parent, Ryan. You, you practically raised your brothers. You know what to do. Me? I don’t have a fucking clue! What if I’m awful? What if the baby hates me? What if I can’t get it to stop crying all the time? What if I can’t protect it when it needs me? What if—”

“Shush.” Ryan’s hand cupped the back of my head. “Now you’re the one rambling. Is that what this is all about? You’re scared you won’t be good enough?”

“No! Yes … I don’t know.” I pulled away from him, wrapping my arms around myself. “It’s not just about being a good mother. It’s about being a good Alpha, too. What if I can’t be both? I might need to put being an Alpha above being a mother. How will a child understand that?”

“Mai—”

“No, listen. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, everything feels … different. You’re right. When I fight, when I make decisions, I don’t think anymore. I just act on instinct. And I don’t know if I should listen to it or fight it. What if I do that when the baby is born, and I do something wrong?”

Ryan pulled me closer and trailed his fingers down my back. “You’re going to be great. You kick ass as an Alpha, and you’re going to kick ass as a mother. Everything else, we’ll work out. We always do.”

I closed my eyes. I wanted to believe him; I really did. But I couldn’t help an overwhelming feeling that I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing these days.