Chapter 87

CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN

Ellery

"Yes, but in different ways," Tucker said.

"His father…." My voice trailed off as I looked toward Ryker's shelter. "I should have told him about his father."

Tucker's amusement vanished. "Yes, but now that I know all the reasons why you ended things with him, I can understand why you didn't. The duke is a terrifying man with a lot of power, and he threatened your family.

"Many would have caved to him. Ryker doesn't understand like I do. While he can sympathize with our plights and has suffered greatly in his lifetime, he doesn't understand what it's like to love something deeply. He's never gotten up every morning to work a land that's his and gone to bed every night filled with pride.

"He doesn't know what it's like to have all that ripped away from you… or to have someone promise to take it away. It's understandable that you panicked. Not only that, but you were also seeking to protect him from his father's wrath. I don't like that you hurt my friend, and make no mistake about it, Ellery, he was hurt, but after everything I've learned, I understand why you did it."

I couldn't speak while I processed his words and his understanding. I'd never expected it.

"I know I hurt him," I whispered. "It was the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I never expected anything to develop between us or for it to spiral so far out of control. By then, I didn't know how to fix it."

"I get it."

I ducked my head as tears burned my eyes. I'd believed Tucker could never forgive me, but his words filled me with joy. He was Ryker's best friend; the two were as close, if not closer, than brothers. I was glad he didn't hate me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Tucker smiled at me before resuming his writing.

Ianto tossed another pouch to Tucker. "There's something I have to disagree with you about."

"What's that?" Tucker asked.

"The part where you stated Ryker doesn't understand what it's like to love something deeply."

When his brown eyes shifted to me, I frowned at his pointed look. " Me ?"

"Yes, you ."

I glanced toward the shelter again. I knew how I felt for Ryker, I'd told him, but it wasn't something he'd ever expressed in return.

"I understand you're getting some of our history right now, but love was never part of it," I told Ianto.

"Maybe not for you."

Anger shot through me. "He knows I love him. I've told him that."

Sadness filled his gaze. "And he hasn't said the same?"

"That's none of your business."

"You're right, it's not, but he loves you. I can see it."

I didn't say anything as I tied my pouch and tossed it to Tucker. He stared at me before writing HR and setting the money with the rest.

I pondered Ianto's words but refused to get my hopes up. Maybe there was a time when Ryker loved me, but if so, I'd destroyed those feelings and didn't know how to get them back.

None of us spoke again while we worked.