Chapter 51

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Ellery

The sun had started rising when Ryker pulled out of me and rolled to the side. Too exhausted to move, I lay, staring at the thick canopy of trees above as I tried to catch my breath.

Things had always been amazing between us, but last night was different. Last night, our powers also joined us, and there was something feral about the way he'd taken me over and over again.

It was as if he couldn't get enough, but there was also an air of desperation. It felt like we'd never see each other again… like it was all over.

I felt bereft of something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Throughout the night, we'd rolled across the ground and taken each other in many ways.

We'd been like animals, out of control and wild, but worse. Animals would eventually stop fucking, but each time we came, we started again until the sun rose.

And the light had brought reason and control with it. It had doused the urgency as surely as water extinguished a fire.

I ached between my legs, but it was a pleasant soreness that reminded me of him. The scruff on his face had abraded my skin, reddening it beneath his kisses and bites. I didn't mind as I rested a palm against my reddened cheeks.

I also smelled like him again for the first time in weeks. I'd missed his scent and was keenly aware of how fast it would fade.

Beside me, Ryker lay with his arm beneath my head while he also worked to catch his breath. Neither of us spoke; I had no idea what to say, as I didn't know what this meant.

No matter what had just transpired between us, I knew he hadn't forgiven me. That was the difference; we were together, and he'd sated my body in ways no one else ever would, but I'd felt an unfamiliar distance in him throughout it all.

Even when he was kissing me, it was different. My hands went to my swollen lips as I recalled the harshness of his kiss. All of it had been harsher than before.

Maybe it was because we'd been apart so long, but it hadn't eased or become gentler throughout the night. There had only been a desperate, all-consuming urge to get off and another to keep going afterward.

It had been as uncontrollable as our powers when they joined together to create a storm that encompassed us. However, it wasn't just our lightning bringing us together… it was also us .

Our ability had created the storm, but we could have resisted it. One of us could have walked away before it exploded into a tempest, but neither did.

We were right together. We always had been… until his father and my lies destroyed it all.

Ryker seemed to be recalling all that as he removed his arm from under my head, rolled to the side, and rose. Emptiness filled me as cool air rushed in to replace the warmth of him against my side.

Before, he would have cradled me against him as he caressed my face and kissed me tenderly. During the other times when we'd had sex in the woods and rushed because something might eat us, he'd held and kissed me for a few minutes after.

He'd always made me feel cherished and special. There was none of that now or last night.

I couldn't let him see the anguish shredding my heart into pieces again as I pushed myself into a seated position. I was exhausted, and not in the pleasurable way I was a few minutes ago.

I felt heartbroken as my stomach churned with nausea. Sex couldn't fix what I'd broken between us, but for a while, I'd forgotten how bad things had become.

It was impossible to forget now.

Rising, I found the remnants of my shirt and put it on. I held it closed while I searched for my pants, which I discovered a few feet away.

I pulled on their ruined pieces but didn't bother to hunt for my bra and underwear. They were destroyed, and I wanted out of these woods.

With as much dignity as I could muster while holding my clothes together, I turned to face Ryker. He was on the other side of the clearing, slipping his feet into his boots. I found mine a few feet away and pushed my toes into them as he turned to face me.

The cold detachment I'd become accustomed to had settled over his features again. His eyes had returned to their mercury-colored hue and didn't dance with lightning.

My stomach sank when another chilling possibility occurred to me. "Are you still on birth control?"

I didn't want to be the first to speak, and requiring anything from him made me feel vulnerable, but I had to know. When we were together before, I'd started taking valovay root from the forest but stopped after I ended things.

There was no reason for me to keep taking it, and it was a depressing reminder of everything I'd lost.

"Yes."

The clipped tone of his voice caused me to inwardly wince, and I shifted my attention away from him. Of course he was; he was still out there fucking everyone he could… including me.

Anger burned inside me at the reminder of him with that woman on his lap. That's all I was to him now, another place to stick his dick.

Never again. My hands fisted as I struggled against the tumult of emotions battering me.

"Are you?" he inquired.

I almost told him yes so he would think I was out there looking for my next partner, but I'd promised not to lie again. "No."

The silence stretched before he spoke again. "We'll meet for training tonight."

I lifted my chin as a streak of rebellion raced through me. This situation was unpleasant enough; I wouldn't stand here and let him order me around.

"No, we won't. I haven't slept well in over a month. I'm exhausted and taking the night off."

"Your powers are growing stronger. You have to keep using them."

"They'll still be there tomorrow. I'll meet you tomorrow night, but don't expect me tonight."

With that, I opened a portal and didn't look at him again before entering it. I'd caused this damage to our relationship, but I didn't have to constantly take the emotional turmoil that now came with it.

But then, if I was going to help him, I would have to keep taking it. And since I was determined to do everything I could to break free of those tormenting us, I would keep helping Ryker in this mission.

It didn't have to be tonight. I'd probably toss and turn all night, but at least I'd do it in my house.

I stepped out of the portal and into my room. After closing the portal, I stripped off my ruined clothes, threw them in the trash, and showered.

Trying not to think about the ecstasy that filled my night, I scrubbed at my skin as I sought to wash away all I'd done wrong. No matter how much I scrubbed, I couldn't cleanse myself of my inner demons.