Chapter 81

Ellery

Over the next two weeks,while we said we were hunting for the Hooded Robber, Ryker and I spent more time stealing moments for ourselves in the forest or at his father's castle. When he first suggested the castle, I resisted the idea. Eventually, the promise of a bed over the ground, and the ability to lie somewhere and relax with him, won out over my apprehension.

I worried the duke would find out and everything would explode around us. Despite the bubble we'd created, I held no illusions the duke would ever welcome me in his home or his son's life.

He clearly considered me and my family as lesser than him. If he ever found out about us, he'd find a way to end it, but I preferred not to think about that.

I lived for every second we spent together in this bubble of happiness we'd created. Most of the time, I could pretend it would always be like this, but sometimes reality crept in.

During those times, I knew this would all come to a crashing end that would destroy me both physically and emotionally. It was inevitable.

There were too many differences between us and too many lies. And while he knew about the differences and chose to ignore them, he didn't know about the lies and would never forgive me if he did.

I should have been smarter about this, guarded my heart better, and kept my distance from him, but I hadn't expected this connection to develop between us. When we first met, I hadn't expected to like him, never mind fall in love with him.

And that's exactly what I'd done.

I hated it when we parted, as the nights were endless without him, but I didn't feel right sneaking him into my home. My mother might have let him in if she knew what was happening between us.

She'd also worry about how it would all end, and she already had enough to worry about. I couldn't heap this onto her already overflowing plate.

Plus, I wasn't ready to share us with the world. I loved our bubble and wanted to remain tucked within it.

Ryker had asked multiple times for me to spend the night with him at the castle, but I couldn't leave my mother alone in the manor at night. I was too scared I'd return in the morning to discover someone had taken her while I was gone.

It didn't make Ryker happy, but he understood why I couldn't join him, even though I longed to spend the night in his embrace again. Sometimes, I yearned to return to the tree house where everything was simpler, and we could be together without any thought about all the things that could tear us apart.

Despite my growing love for Ryker, I knew our lives could never be anything more than this. However, I was determined to see this train wreck through to its fiery, brokenhearted, and possibly bloody end.

Today, while we'd started out hunting in the woods, things had quickly changed when Ryker placed his hand on my back. I kept expecting my hunger for him to dwindle with time, but if anything, it was becoming more intense.

We'd been exploring a rocky section of the forest, heavily populated by ghosts who spent far too much time watching for my liking. Because of that, Ryker brought me to his rooms in the castle.

When we finally untangled, I fell back on the bed and curled against his side as he wrapped his arms around me. Closing my eyes, I savored his warmth and scent while snuggling closer. There was nowhere, in all the realms, I'd rather be than with him.

His bed was large, inviting, and the most comfortable one I'd ever lain in as I burrowed beneath the thick, red blanket. The comforter was the only inviting thing about his rooms.

Everything else in his apartment was stark from its barren rock walls to the wood furniture with all its sharp angles. Even the two bathrooms were austere, as were the sitting room, den, private meeting area, game room, and kitchen, where he kept a small supply of drinks and food.

All the furniture in the other rooms was dark and dreary; nothing hung on the walls, and no pictures sat on the tables. There wasn't a single plant in the place.

The sprawling apartment took up almost an entire castle floor and was about the size of my manor, but nothing about these rooms spoke of Ryker. The only thing of him in here was his scent and clothes.

The floor-to-ceiling windows let in plenty of light, and from where I lay, I could see the sun glinting off the lake nestled in the valley of the mountains behind the castle. It was a beautiful view, but it didn't ease the feeling of coldness these rooms created.

Rolling onto my back, I stared at the ceiling as he rested his hand on my belly and kissed my shoulder. After our first night together, I started taking valovay root from the woods for birth control, but when his hand landed on my belly, I couldn't help pondering what it would be like to have Ryker's child growing inside me.

Get that out of your head. It cannot happen.

It was true, but sometimes, I couldn't stop myself from dreaming about a future for us. It was a good way to ensure the heartbreak to come would be worse.

"Why don't you decorate this place and make it more yours?" I asked.

"Because I hate it here, and it will never be mine."

"But if something ever happened to your father, it would be yours."

"If that ever happened, I'd demolish this place, piss on its ashes, and rebuild somewhere else. And the whole time I was doing it, I'd hope he could see me from his place in Hell."

It was clear they didn't like each other, but the venom in Ryker's voice revealed the true depth of his loathing for his father. I shouldn't press him on it; whenever I brought up his father, he changed the subject or kissed me.

However, I wanted to know more about him and help him… if I could. Though, I didn't know what I could do to help other than listen.

"Why do you hate your father so much?" I asked.