13. August

Chapter 13

August

O ne thing about AJ: he’d never dealt well with being told something was forbidden. In fact, being told he couldn’t have something only made him want it more.

And Bailey Peters was a shiny, big red button that read ‘Do Not Press’.

After the mind-blowing, lifechanging experience of fucking the younger man, of kissing his perfect plump lips and seeing that mane of light-brown hair spread around his head like a halo as AJ moved in and out of him, AJ wanted —no, needed — more.

And, because Bailey appeared to feel much the same way, he got more.

They never intended for it to keep happening, but it seemed that the very moment they were alone, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. AJ had gone from the longest dry spell he’d ever had in his life, to keeping up with the libido of an incredibly fit twenty-something.

It was great, but he knew he was fooling himself if he thought that continuing wouldn’t end in disaster. He was attached to Bailey now. Emotionally invested in the younger man’s happiness. Therefore, it didn’t escape his notice that after every secret blowjob or quickie, when they repeated their promise that that time would surely be the last time, it upset him.

Bailey was good at putting on a brave face, of acting like he was okay with being casual and ending things, but AJ knew better.

And AJ felt the same way. It hurt to keep the joyful exuberance that they shared behind closed doors private. It hurt that he was upsetting Bailey every time he said “This’ll be the last time”. It hurt that he had no idea how to manage this situation going forward.

He wanted to do more with Bailey than fuck around in secret. He wanted to take the younger man on dates and show him affection in public. He wanted to introduce him to his family via Facetime as his…partner? Boyfriend? As his person . He wanted to tell Ava. Hell, down the track, he wanted them to be a family.

Wasn’t that what they’d been doing anyway? The more time Bailey spent with them, treating AJ’s daughter as though she were his own, the more AJ thought his house felt empty when Bailey wasn’t there.

And then there was the issue of Christmas.

It was only a week away, and AJ wished, above all else, that he could hold Bailey’s hand and kiss him under the fake mistletoe the man had hung over the archway into his living room. But he couldn’t do that, because Ava would ask questions and, because she was a little chatterbox, she would probably let it slip the next time he brought her to training.

He settled on buying Bailey a braided leather bracelet with eighteen carat gold charm beads. It was understated, but the kind of thing that would suit the man-bun wearing striker. Part of him enjoyed the idea of Bailey publicly wearing jewellery which AJ had bought him — his own way of silently claiming the other man.

These thoughts rattled around in his head, spurred on by the illicit tryst he was continuing even in that moment.

“We’ve got to stop doing this,” Bailey muttered as he pushed AJ against the cool, painted surface of his bedroom door, then dropped to his knees and tugged down the elastic waistband of AJ’s training pants, “but not today.”

AJ bit his lip to contain his moan of approval as Bailey wrapped his lips around his erection. His hands migrated to the top of Bailey’s head, fingers weaving into what had been a neat bun only minutes before.

He shut his eyes and leaned his weight into the door, allowing himself to enjoy the warm, wet suction and the delicious twirl of Bailey’s talented tongue. “Your mouth, pet… Fuck! ”

Bailey hummed and the vibrations travelled all the way to AJ’s nerve endings.

He tugged at Bailey’s bun. “Bed. I want—I want to suck you, too.”

Bailey released him suddenly, sitting back on his heels on the carpeted floor, his lips swollen and shiny and his eyes wide with surprise.

“You don’t have to.”

AJ had fucked Bailey a couple of times, had come in his mouth and on his face, and he had jerked Bailey off twice, too. But he’d yet to give a blowjob and, if this did become the last time they slept together, he didn’t want to have any regrets.

Not getting his mouth on Bailey’s long, perfect cock would most certainly be regrettable.

“I want to,” he insisted. “I…Back at the Academy, I tried it. Once. I guess I’m tellin’ you this so you know I won’t, like, freak out—”

“You’re allowed to freak out. It’s kind of a big thing— not like that! ” he laughed as AJ quirked his eyebrow up.

“I’ve seen it before, pet. I know it’s not small. Not that size means a thing to me. Well, not until you top. Then I might…” he trailed off at the renewed wide-eyed expression on Bailey’s face. “What?”

“You’d” —Bailey rose to his feet gracefully, reminding AJ that he really was that much younger and fitter than him— “you’d let me top?

“I’ve never had anything up there, except for during a prostate exam,” AJ scrunched his nose, “but yeah. I see how much you enjoy it and” —his cheeks burned, but he maintained eye-contact— “if I was going to trust anyone to…y’know…well, it’d be you, wouldn’t it?” The admission came out softer and more unsure than he’d intended, but Bailey had to know by now that this forbidden affair they had going on actually meant something to him.

“ August, ” he whispered almost reverently. “I—”

“Daddy!” Ava’s piercing wail was loud and unmistakable, even with the door closed.

AJ’s shoulders slumped and he reluctantly tucked himself back into his pants. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to—”

“DADDY!”

Instead of appearing frustrated or disappointed, Bailey only smiled warmly. “She should always be your priority, babe.” Before AJ could begin to process how he felt about the endearment, Bailey asked, “Want me to help, or…?”

“ DAAAAADDY! ”

AJ shook his head as he opened the door and stepped into the hallway. “She’s probably just had another accident.” They had been slowly becoming fewer and farther between but were still frequent enough that he was considering putting her in pull-ups at night.

“Then I’ll change the sheets.” Bailey shrugged like it wasn’t any inconvenience, and they made their way into Ava’s room.

As AJ calmed his distressed daughter, he couldn’t help but watch Bailey serenely stripping the sheets and heading back out of the room, presumably towards the laundry. The idea of letting go of the sweet, selfless man was becoming unbearable. His heart thumped madly in his chest, and a lump formed in his throat as a dawning realisation crept over him.

He loved Bailey.

But did he love him enough to choose him over his career?