Chapter Twenty-Seven

Darcy

4 th May 1812

Pemberley House, Derbyshire

D arcy sat in the drawing room of Pemberley, the grandeur and elegance of his surroundings offering little comfort. He had been back at his home for six weeks now, surrounded by his sister and cousin, Richard. Their aunt, Catherine, and her daughter, Anne, had stayed with them for a while but had since moved on to Matlock, where Darcy’s uncle resided. He had met his uncle as well, during a recent visit, though it had not jogged his memory.

Indeed, his memories were slow to return, though fragments of a past life were coming together piece by piece. Georgiana, his beloved sister, had been instrumental in this process. Her gentle recounting of their shared history helped bridge the gap between the man he remembered being and the man he was now trying to rediscover.

The fire crackled in the hearth, casting a glow over the room. Darcy stared into the flames, his thoughts consumed by Elizabeth Bennet. Her image was imprinted on his mind—her sharp wit, her sparkling eyes, her fierce independence. He missed her terribly and found himself wishing more and more that she would give him a chance to prove himself, to show her the man he truly was. Not a day had passed without her image haunting him or his heart longing for hers. He’d received news about her by way of Bingley, who’d settled once more at Netherfield in preparation for his wedding.

He had told him how Elizabeth fared—and how she too longed for Darcy, at least in his friend’s estimation.

Georgiana entered the room, her presence a soothing balm to his troubled thoughts. “Fitzwilliam,” she began, “how are you feeling today?”

Darcy turned to her, offering a small smile. “Better, I think. I had a memory earlier of a woman with a silver cross around her neck reading me a story. She smelled of peppermint.”

“Your governess, Mrs Maple,” Georgiana said, slipping into a seat beside him.

“Mrs Maple, yes. The name feels familiar. It’s strange, Georgiana. I feel like I’m rediscovering myself. I was scared back when I thought I was George Wickham. I feared what I might discover and the same was true when I found out who I really am, but now I find it is not quite as awful.”

Georgiana smiled, her eyes filled with tenderness. “I’m glad to hear that. You have always been a good man, Fitzwilliam. It’s just taking time for you to remember.” She paused and bit her lip before placing her hand on his arm. “You were thinking of her again, weren’t you?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I miss her, Georgiana. I miss Elizabeth terribly. I wish I could see her again, explain everything to her.”

Georgiana moved to sit beside him, placing a comforting hand on his arm. “Perhaps you will have the chance, Fitzwilliam. Mr Bingley has invited us to Netherfield for his wedding to Jane. Elizabeth will be there.”

Darcy’s heart leapt at the prospect. “Do you think she would be willing to speak with me?”

“I think she cares for you, Fitzwilliam,” Georgiana said softly. “She may be angry and confused, but those emotions come from a place of deep feeling. She would not be so affected if she did not care. Mr Bingley said as much in his last letter. Oh Fitz, I do feel dreadful for writing to her back when I thought she was being misled by Mr Wickham. Do you think my second letter might have helped?”

Georgiana, after discovering all that had happened, had decided to write another letter to Elizabeth, apologising for her mistake. Darcy was certain she had also sung his praises again, something for which he was grateful though he didn’t think it helped anything, as Elizabeth had never returned an answer.

Darcy nodded, taking solace in his sister’s words. “Do not fret. I think the moment she found out I was Darcy, nothing related to Wickham mattered anymore. I do hope you are correct, and I might see her again one day. I long to. Though I am uncertain if I ought to attend the wedding, what if I am not welcome in Longbourn?”

Indeed, he’d fretted for some weeks now over the prospect. He wanted to go to the wedding, quite badly too but he wasn’t sure if it was the correct thing to do. He didn’t want to ruin the day by appearing there. He knew Bingley would understand this, but Darcy still hadn’t been able to make a decision.

“Fitzwilliam? Georgie?” Richard called then, and Darcy flinched for a moment at the sound of the name Elizabeth had called him for so long. That it was Georgiana’s pet name had explained why he’d felt such a connection.

“Here,” he called, and his cousin soon entered the room. His presence was always a welcome one, his humour and straightforward nature providing a counterbalance to Darcy’s more serious demeanour.

“There you are,” Richard greeted, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “What are you two conspiring about now?”

Georgiana laughed, a light, musical sound. “We were just discussing Fitzwilliam’s memories and his thoughts about Elizabeth Bennet. And if he wishes to attend the wedding.”

Richard raised an eyebrow, his expression turning serious. “Elizabeth Bennet, eh? You’ve spoken of her often, Darcy. She seems to have made quite an impression on you. I think you ought to go to Hertfordshire and win her back. I’ll come along and vouch for you. Georgie will as well, I am sure.”

Darcy nodded, his gaze thoughtful. “She has captured my heart, Richard. More than I ever thought possible. I find myself longing to see her again, to explain everything. Yet, I know it won’t make a difference. The moment I came between her sister and Bingley, her opinion of me was lost forever.”

Richard took a seat opposite them, his demeanour turning more contemplative. “It seems rather pig-headed, if you ask me. A man can make mistakes. Besides, you did all you could to put her sister and Bingley back together. You almost lost your life doing it.”

Darcy sighed, leaning back in his chair. “What do you mean?”

Richard frowned. “Your journey to Netherfield. Surely you know you only went to meet Miss Jane Bennet to see if you made a mistake?”

“No,” Darcy said, slipping to the edge of his seat. “I thought I went to close up Netherfield for Bingley.”

“You did, but you wanted to take the opportunity to see Jane Bennet to make sure that you did not make a mistake when you advised Bingley to leave her. You were quite distraught. I thought you had been told this by now,” Richard said but then slapped a hand in front of his head. “Of course not. Nobody could have told you but me. I do not know what I was thinking.”

“Pray, what is this you speak of?” Darcy asked and slipped forward in his seat. “I went to Netherfield to meet Jane Bennet?”

“Yes,” Richard explained. “You were so upset with yourself for advising Charles to leave Jane because he was so melancholy you wanted to meet her in person to make sure. That is why you left. Telling Bingley you wanted to see to Netherfield was a mere ruse to go there. Somehow I thought that was why you ended with the Bennets to begin with. I should have said something sooner.”

Darcy shook his head. Richard had come as soon as he’d received word about Darcy’s condition and stayed with him at Pemberley for a week. However, he had to return to his regiment soon thereafter and had only been back another week. During his first visit, things had been so chaotic they hadn’t spoken much in detail, and during this visit Darcy had been better so the circumstances of his journey hadn’t come up.

Darcy sighed, leaning back in his chair. “So I felt badly about what I did. I had regrets.”

“You were in high dudgeon, my friend,” Richard said.

Darcy could hardly believe what he was hearing. So he had been remorseful even before he met Jane.

“I wish I had remembered this when I spoke to Elizabeth. Her worry was that I’d recover my memory and once again think the Bennets beneath Bingley’s touch and certainly my own. It might have served to convince her that would not be the case.”

Richard leaned forward, his expression earnest. “Darcy, you’re a good man. You have been a little high in the instep in the past and you’ve made mistakes, but who hasn’t? The important thing is that you recognise them and seek to make amends. If Elizabeth Bennet is as intelligent and perceptive as you say she is, she will see that too.”

Georgiana nodded in agreement. “Richard is right, Fitzwilliam. You must not give up hope. This was a terrible shock to her. She loved you when you were a man without a past, then she told you were a horrible rake, and then you turned out to be the man she’d told herself to despise It is a lot to take in. But she’s had time now. Go there. The wedding is in two weeks but there’s nothing stopping you from going earlier. You have always been a man of integrity and honour. Show her that.”

Darcy felt a surge of determination. “You are both correct. I must try. For her, and for myself.”

***

Darcy sat in the carriage, the rhythmic clatter of the horses’ hooves providing a soothing backdrop to his thoughts. He gazed out the window, watching as the familiar countryside of Hertfordshire unfolded before him. The rolling hills, the patchwork fields, and the quaint villages all stirred a sense of nostalgia within him.

Georgiana sat opposite, her eyes fixed on him, “Fitzwilliam,” she began softly, “how are you feeling?”

Darcy turned to her, a small smile playing at his lips. “It’s strange, Georgiana. As we draw closer to Netherfield, to Longbourn, I find myself feeling at home. These roads, these fields—they feel familiar, comforting even.”

Georgiana smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. It must be strange having firm memories of this place, but still so few of your own past. Though you do remember more each day, I must say.”

He nodded, his gaze turning inward. “Yes, I am. Bits and pieces, fragments but enough so that I feel I can piece together things. Nothing is as clear as the memories I made here, I am sad to say.”

Georgiana reached out and took his hand, her grip firm and reassuring. “In time all will come back. You’ve come so far, Fitzwilliam.”

Darcy took a deep breath, his thoughts turning to Elizabeth. “Enough to know that Elizabeth was not entirely wrong in her estimation of who I am. I was a fool. I was arrogant. I deserved to be taken down a little. And I remember the mistakes I made—how my pride and my assumptions blinded me to the truth. I was a fool, Georgiana. A fool for coming between Bingley and Jane and a fool not fighting harder for Elizabeth.”

Georgiana’s eyes filled with compassion. “You’ve learned from those mistakes. All is well between Charles and Jane. They’re to be wed this week! And you haven’t missed your chance yet. You have the opportunity to show Elizabeth who you truly are.”

Darcy looked at his sister, his heart swelling with gratitude. “Thank you, Georgiana. Your faith in me means more than you know.” Though he still lacked concrete memories of their life together, he knew Georgiana. The feelings he had for her were real and he knew this was enough for now.

She squeezed his hand, her eyes shining with determination. “You deserve happiness, Fitzwilliam. And I believe that Elizabeth is a part of that happiness.”

Darcy gave his sister a warm smile, he was pleased that he was not making this journey alone.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

Darcy nodded, his resolve firm. “Yes, I am.”

As the carriage drew closer to Netherfield Park, Darcy couldn’t help but feel a sense of hope. The familiar surroundings, the memories of the past, and the promise of the future all combined to fill him with a renewed sense of purpose.

Georgiana linked her arm with his, her presence a comforting anchor. “Remember, Fitzwilliam, you haven’t missed your chance. Show Elizabeth the man you truly are.”

Darcy smiled, his heart filled with determination. “I will, Georgiana. I promise.” The closer they had got to Netherfield and Longbourn, the more he had longed to see her… and the more uncertain he became that the one thing he wanted more than anything—to win her back—could be accomplished.