28. Talia

Talia didn't know what was worse; the fact that it had been two days since she'd heard from Jensen, or the fact that she kept checking for incoming messages.

She put the phone down, as disappointed as ever. The longer it went on, the more doubt crept in. Was this really going to be her hill to die on? If Dad knew everything and had still been happy to work with Jensen, then there were clearly some extenuating circumstances floating about…

But why did he get to know? And why was she being left in the dark?

Felix made it all the harder. He'd gone from living in their happy little family unit to waking up from his nap to find Jensen had disappeared… and hadn't returned.

I can't do this to him. I can't just kick his Dadda out and not expect him to be affected by it.

Her conviction was crumbling before her eyes. She'd been furious at Dad and Jensen for treating her like a child, but then she'd turned around and behaved like one—and had a tantrum when she didn't get her way.

Talia felt like she was waking up in Lux without him again, except this time she'd done it to herself. The flat was empty, her bed was cold, and her heart was aching.

She picked up her phone, her lips tugging into a melancholy smile. The last message Jensen had sent to her was a photo of Felix in the bath wearing a bubble beard. Talia tapped out an apology, but quickly deleted it, listening to the sound of a motorbike outside.

Texting him would be taking the coward's way out.

Instead, she took a deep breath and hit the call button.

It barely rang once. "Talia?" Jensen's voice came through instantly—along with a barrage of background noise that suggested he was driving. "Are you and Felix okay? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Felix is fine. I just put him down for his afternoon nap, but I wanted to talk to you. Needed to talk to you. Are you alone?" The last thing she wanted to do was pour her heart out to him with an audience.

"I'm alone. Just heading back home after viewing some commercial property in Southampton."

"At rush hour?" Talia let out a soft laugh, her gaze lifting to the clock. "You'll be lucky to get home before midnight." Perhaps a bit of an exaggeration.

"I should have been back by now but…" Jensen trailed off, letting out a weary sigh that she felt in her bones. "Everything took longer than it should have. What did you need to talk about?"

"Your murder conviction." Talia decided to be truthful. "I was hurt by you not telling me about your past. Learning that you were in prison at all came as a shock, I'm not going to lie to you."

Once she started, every thought she'd had over the last couple of days came tumbling out.

"That is one thing I will concede. I shouldn't have had to learn about your criminal convictions from a letter, Jensen. You should have been the one to tell me."

"You're right, I should have been. I'm sorry for that, Talia."

"Then why didn't you?" she asked, a bit of desperation in her voice.

Talia could almost hear his shrug. "I intended to, but things kept coming up. Our first night alone in weeks. Felix's birthday. Mia going into labour. The time was never right, and then it was too late altogether. I didn't want you to end things between us. I was a coward."

"Would you have ever told me on your own?"

"Yes," he replied fiercely, a distant beep from a car horn coming through the phone. "But I would have had to… discuss it with the people involved first. I will discuss it with the people involved first."

Talia frowned, remembering the news articles. "You mean Rhys?"

"Rhys included."

What did that mean? Knowing her questions would go unanswered, she carried on. "I don't regret being angry at you not telling me. In fact, I still am angry at you for not telling me. But I do regret telling you to leave. I regret making a decision in the heat of the moment." If she'd known he had been in prison at all, then maybe the rest wouldn't have been such a shock, but there was no changing that now. "I want you to… I want you to come home, Jensen. Felix misses you. I miss you."

His words came in a rush. "Fuck, I miss you too. I miss you both so fucking much, baby girl. I have to stop at Aldous's flat first, but I'll be there." A relieved chuff came over the phone. "Even if I have to abandon my car in a queue on the M25 and run home, I'll be there."

The worry that had been her constant companion over the last couple of days disappeared, coming out in a rush of excitement. "I can't wait to see you."

The conversation soon turned into an update on Felix—what sounds he'd been learning to say, what baby groups they'd attended, even what he'd eaten over the last couple of days. All of the miniscule things that only a parent would care about.

When their call finally ended, Talia set about preparing the kitchen. She wasn't usually the type to have a hot meal ready for her partner the moment he came through the door. With her, it would definitely be hot, but also most likely charred.

However, she wanted to try and cook Jensen's favourite meal for him. Not as an apology, per se. More of a we both could have behaved better but I still love you so let's move on type of meal.

She settled on a simplified beef pho recipe—something she could leave to simmer.

Just as the thought struck, Talia heard Felix babbling. Leaving the pile of ingredients she'd accumulated behind, she strode over to his bedroom to see him standing in the cot. His face was bright and alert, as though he'd been awake for a while.

"Hey cyw," she said excitedly, hoisting him onto her hip. God, he was going to be so happy to see Jensen. "Did you have a good nap?"

"Ba," he nodded, his dark hair sticking up at odd angles.

Before smoothing it back down, Talia took a quick selfie of the two of them and sent it to Jensen.

Love you x

Just as Talia hit send, the two of them turned at the sound of the buzzer.

"Who on earth is that?" Talia muttered, poking her tongue out at Felix as she pressed the button to answer. "Hello?"

"Talia, it's Aldous." Beneath Felix's giggles, the timbre of his voice was rough. "Can we talk?"

"Oh," she answered, giving her son a bewildered look. What did Aldous want to talk to her about? "Sure. Er… come up."

His knock came so quick Talia wondered whether it was Mia popping by, but she opened the door to reveal Aldous, wearing a frown and a standoffish expression. She welcomed him in, smiling as Felix reached a hand out, clearly excited to see someone other than Talia.

There was a beat before Aldous reciprocated, letting Felix's tiny hand wrap around his fingers. "Hey Felix."

"Ba!" Felix yelled.

Aldous's smile was tight with tension, but the set of his shoulders was even tighter.

Talia moved to sit on the sofa, inviting Aldous to do the same. "Are you all right?" she asked, nursing a feeling she was about to be lectured. "You look a little… nervous."

"I'm fine," he replied, far too quickly to have been genuine. "But Jensen isn't."

"Because of our argument, or because of something else?" Please let it be the former.

"Your argument."

Talia had the grace to look guilty, even if her concern over him hiding a murder conviction was warranted. "I actually just got off the phone with him. We both apologised, but he's coming back here tonight."

Surprise sparked in Aldous's eyes, relief following shortly after. "Good."

"Was that what you wanted to discuss?"

His head tilted a degree. "Indirectly." Aldous looked away from her, his nostrils flaring as he sharply inhaled. "I don't want you to doubt Jensen. I don't want you to have this unknown in your relationship."

Talia spoke softly. "The unknown being…?"

"Why Jensen and Rhys tortured and murdered Graeme Friedman."

"But you weren't involved in that, were you?" He would have been a child at the time.

Aldous's grimace was a hateful, distorted thing. "I was the reason they did it in the first place."

Talia watched as Felix climbed to the floor, apparently bored of their conversation. He pulled a brightly-painted wooden puzzle towards himself. "Meaning?"

Aldous still hadn't looked at her. "When I was eight, I was accepted into private school on a scholarship, did you know that?"

She shook her head.

"Graeme Friedman was the headmaster there. He had a reputation for being strict. Rigid. Old school. But he ran a remedial after-school programme for struggling scholarship students. A programme he ran personally, on a one-to-one basis."

"And you ended up on the programme?" Talia gathered.

"For five years." Aldous's gaze was bathed in shadow. "And during my time with him…" The bump on his throat hitched, his voice grating. He stood, throwing a look at Felix before his hands went to the buttons on his shirt, slowly unhooking each one.

Talia got to her feet, alarmed. "What are you doing?" she whispered, stepping back towards Felix.

"I could talk about what he did to me." Aldous paused, his expression one of pity. "Or I could show you. The latter is much easier than the former."

She nodded, ready to pick up her son and flee at a moment's notice.

But then Aldous's broad shoulders shrugged off his shirt—and Talia's gut gave a sickening clench.

His tawny skin was a litany of scars; a patchwork quilt of silvery burns that spanned from his muscular shoulders to his belt. Some were circular, little dots of savagery that were uniform in shape and size. Were they cigarette burns? Others were long and straight. Those were far deeper, far more painful.

"Your… your headmaster did this to you?" Talia whispered, her hand over her mouth.

Finally, his eyes fixed on her. "And worse."

Graeme Friedman. The name had scarcely left her mind for days, and throughout it all she'd thought of him as a victim, but now…

Now, she thought of him as a monster. "It was revenge, then?"

Aldous nodded, his gaze drifting away once more. "Everything Jensen and Rhys did to him, he did to me. Almost."

"Except for the actual murder?"

"The murder was a substitute for the one thing they didn't have the stomach to do to him." Aldous's eyes were almost devoid of emotion, as though he was a million miles away.

The blood drained from Talia's face in a great rush, her mind terrorising her with the unknown.

Aldous buttoned his shirt back up, observing Felix toddling over to him, step by step. "I don't like people knowing. It's humiliating." He pulled out a crumpled envelope from inside his trouser pocket. "But if you want to read newspaper articles, those are all the newspaper articles about the retrial. They go into more detail about Friedman's crimes, if you're interested."

Talia wasn't.

And she'd been pushing for Jensen to tell her what happened…

No wonder he'd looked so conflicted by it all.

Aldous flinched as Felix hugged the bottom of his calf, reaching upwards in a request to be held. Seconds passed with Aldous standing stock still, but just as Talia thought Felix was going to give up Aldous moved, gently lifting Felix into his embrace. He held him away from his body slightly, but Felix leant his head on Aldous's biceps, smiling up at him. "Jensen knows how I feel about it all. He was never going to tell you what Friedman did to me, but I can't let my past impact his future. He's sacrificed too much for me already. And I don't want you to think any less of him for what he did. He loves you, Talia, and he deserves to be happy."

She wanted to move closer, to give Aldous the biggest hug she could give, but something told her he'd step away from her if she tried. "I'll make him happy," she swore. "I promise."