10. Talia

Quinn led her through the rest of the day in a daze. She stood for the family photos on the stone steps in front of the country house, hoping no one would notice the tears slowly slipping down her cheeks. She didn't register what she ate for dinner, plastering on a fake smile when it came time for the speeches. But by the evening, Talia couldn't fake it anymore.

When her father came to bid her farewell, she couldn't meet his eyes.

At least the last time Jay—or whatever his real name was—had humiliated her, it had been in private. There was no one other than Quinn to witness her shame.

But her father witnessing it?

He may as well have broadcast it publicly.

By the time she carried Felix into her flat in Covent Garden, she was barely holding it together. Quinn closed the door behind her, moving all of her baby gear into the living room. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

Talia shook her head, more silent tears wetting her face. Felix reached up, touching her cheek. "You have no idea you met your Daddy today, do you?"

Quinn's broad hand stroked her lower back. "That prick is nothing more than his sperm donor, and we both know it."

She bent to deposit Felix on the floor, and he immediately jumped into action, eager to stretch his limbs after being in the car for so long. He crawled over to his current favourite toy, a colourful push walker that blared out repetitive noises.

Her eyelashes wet with tears, she finally glanced up at her friend. "He didn't even tell me his name," she said, her voice breaking.

Quinn swept her into his arms. She buried her sobs in his chest, breathing in his aftershave and hanging on as though her life depended on it. He was even more muscular than he had been during their time in New York, more imposing. More attractive. "I feel like such an idiot," she sobbed.

He cupped her jaw, tilting it upwards. "You're not. I saw rich assholes like him at Lux every goddamn day I worked there. They make the working girls think they're special and throw them away like garbage just as easy. You weren't the first, and you won't be the last. Why do you think I was so relieved to quit?"

Once Talia got a hold of her emotions, she glanced down at Felix, giving him a watery smile. "It's not just me though, is it? One day he's going to have all of these questions. How am I supposed to tell him we got left behind like a dirty little secret?"

Quinn's jaw tightened, and he looked away. "My dad did the same to my mom, did I ever tell you?"

"No," Talia blinked.

"She brought me up in a trailer park on food stamps. I asked her the same questions growing up. Where is he? Why did he leave? Why didn't he want me? Why didn't he want her? She could tell me his first name and the dive bar she met him in. And that he would have stayed with her if I hadn't come along and ruined it all. By the time I left, she hated me. I was always my father's good-for-nothing son. A useless, no good asshole. I was angry at her for a long time."

The image of a young Quinn alone and furious at the world ran through her mind, and Talia wanted to wrap him in a hug. She was more than just fortunate financially; she'd always known the love of a parent.

By the sounds of it, Quinn had known neither.

Talia met Felix's bright sapphire eyes and imagined hating him, telling him he was worthless.

A tear slipped down her cheek. Never.

Quinn's thumb was gentle as he wiped it away. "I still am, to tell you the truth. Repeating the same patterns. Picking up assholes in bars and crying when they leave her after they've gotten what they want. And it's all my fault, of course. The only man she's ever loved was my father, and I'm the reason he skipped town."

She bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You're not like my mom, Talia. You sold yourself for a purpose." He shrugged. "How is that different to any other job? Construction workers sell their strength. Academics sell their knowledge. Therapists sell their compassion. Working girls sell their sexuality. It's all selling your body in one way or another." Quinn gestured around them. "And look at what you've done with the money you earned. You bought your son an apartment to grow up in and another one to rent out to provide income for him. You're doing your job as his mother."

Her lips parted in thought. Why had she never thought of it like that? He always knows what to say. "You don't think he'll be angry with me?"

Quinn shrugged. "He might be. I think every child from a broken home goes through a phase of being angry at the parent that stayed."

Parent. The word implied that ‘Jay' had done some parenting.

He even looked like a Jay, the bastard.

Talia's eyes found Felix, slamming his chubby hand down on flashing buttons. "I wasn't expecting him to look so much like Felix." Their time apart had blurred her memory of his features, but seeing them side by side?

The resemblance was unmistakable.

"If my dad knows him, I wonder why he never questioned it. The resemblance." Talia watched Felix abandon his push walker, crawling into the open door to his nursery in search of more toys.

"Lots of people look alike," Quinn answered. "It doesn't mean they're related. Felix was conceived in New York, so your dad probably assumed Felix's father was American. Plus, you told him that the father didn't want to be involved, so why would he question it?"

Talia let out a long exhale, weighed down by the emotions of the day. She turned around. "I need to get this dress off. Can you undo my zipper for me?"

His touch was muted through the fabric, but then she felt it loosening. "Your dad asked me to keep an eye on you," he murmured.

"I heard."

"I don't like the thought of leaving you when you're upset," he whispered, his voice full of conflict.

Despite her tears, Talia smiled. "You're sweet."

"We never talked about our kiss at Lux." He came even closer, his shoulders far broader than hers.

"I got pregnant after," she reasoned, jolting at his hands on her waist. "And then I came home."

"I thought of you every day," Quinn whispered. "Did you think of me?"

"Yes," she answered truthfully. But her thoughts of him had always included Lux as a whole—and the man she'd met there.

"I know you needed time after that asshole threw you and Felix away," he murmured, his breath brushing against her neck.

Pain speared into her chest at the reminder, even as goosebumps erupted along her spine.

"But your dad wants me to take care of you," he said again, nuzzling into her nape.

I don't know if I want this.

Frozen in place by indecision, she almost laughed. Somehow she didn't think this was the kind of taking care of Dad had in mind.

But Dad had always been a good judge of character.

Clearly she wasn't—and that had never been clearer than today. And Dad had had a front row seat to her idiocy. If Quinn was good enough for Dad, then she could at least try.

Because hadn't that been what she'd wanted to do all along? Make her father proud?

Talia sucked in an acute breath when Quinn's calloused hand slipped between the open zipper of her dress, settling a featherlight touch over her bare skin. "I'd never throw you away, Talia. You deserve more than that."

A sharp cry came from Felix's bedroom, and Talia darted into the nursery, holding up her undone dress.

Felix sat amongst his toys, scrambling away from one in particular. A large stacking cup.

"Are you okay, cyw?" Talia scooped him into her arms, checking him for injuries.

Felix clutched at the loose fabric of her dress, looking back at the stacking cup.

She picked it up, and underneath it sat a small, amigurumi-style crocheted spider. Talia laughed, "Awww cyw, did you get scared?"

He sniffed, looking at the spider distrustfully.

Talia removed the toy spider before standing in the nursery doorway, looking out into the flat's living room. "Thank you for driving me home tonight, Quinn."

He looked up from his phone, his expression unreadable. "Are you sure you'll be all right?"

"I'm sure." Her answer was definitive, but there was no bite to her voice. The day had been fraught with emotions; it was no time to be making monumental decisions like taking their friendship to the next level. "I'll speak to you tomorrow, okay? I need to get Felix ready for bed."

Quinn nodded, recognising the dismissal. "Speak to you in the morning." He picked up his keys from the table and made his way to the front door, using his spare key to lock it behind himself.

Talia held it together whilst getting Felix ready for bed. His nap schedule had been thrown out of the window, so she expected to be up most of the night. Even so, she climbed into bed, ignoring the silk bonnet her curls should be resting in.

She was in no mood for self-care tonight.

Finally alone, the tears quickly came once more. This time, it wasn't because ‘Jay' had given her a fake name, or because he'd left without a word the morning after, or even because she was facing the mammoth task of raising Felix on her own.

This time, she cried because the only man she could ever see herself wanting intimately didn't want her back.