Chapter Twenty: Oscar

" Y ou're going to tell me you're leaving the station, aren't you?" Rob asks after dinner on a Friday night nearly a year after I reconnected with Ryan.

I have loved every minute of working here. I have loved being a part of a found family of kinky queer people who love animals and the outdoors as much as I do. I have loved working on a ranch —station, damn it — with people who accept me for who I am, and who don't push their expectations on me (aside from expectations to keep up the good work, which are totally fair).

But, for all of that, I've loved being with Ryan even more.

When I first met him back in Brisbane, I felt a spark of connection. He was every single one of my weaknesses in a sexy, silver fox-shaped package. But the timing was all wrong, and I hadn't had confidence that I could be trusted to be the Daddy he deserved, not with my track record of impulsive, bad decisions.

Reconnecting with him changed that. I might not believe in fate, but maybe the universe had been trying to tell me to take a chance. And if that beautiful Boy, with his tragic past, could be open to try letting someone new into his life, why couldn't I?

When we started this thing between us, I didn't allow myself to dream that I had found my happily ever after. Not after crashing and burning so badly when I first moved to Australia.

But over the past year, I'm convinced that my luck has turned.

Ryan and I love each other. He's my Boy and I'm his Daddy. He's also my partner, my lover, and my best friend. Our relationship is sturdy, built on a foundation of trust, communication, and hard work. We've had our share of arguments over the past months, as the newness and shininess of being in love settled into something more domestic, but we have always talked them out. Not once have we gone to bed angry with each other, and I'm not so arrogant that I can't admit when I'm wrong (which, as it turns out, is about eighty percent of the time).

For the first time in my adult life, I'm in a relationship of equal give and take. I'm with a man who grounds me and tempers my impulsive side, but who also encourages me to follow my dreams.

And that's why I'm sitting across from Rob in his homey living room, each of us nursing a tumbler of whiskey on ice.

My dreams involve spending more time with my Boy. I want to live with him more than a quarter of the time. I want to come home to him after each and every day of work. I can't do that while I'm here at Wombat Run.

"Yeah," I answer him with a great deal of sadness. "I love workin' here, Rob. I really do. But…"

"I get it," his smile is understanding, and it reaches his sparkling eyes. "There'll always be a place for you here, but I don't think you'll need it."

"I appreciate that." He doesn't ask me what I'm going to do when I leave, and to be honest, I haven't figured it out entirely yet. But I've got an engagement ring burning a hole in my duffel bag, and every vision of my future from here has me spending my nights with Ryan in my arms.

"You're gonna invite us all to the wedding, I hope," Rob teases, and I choke a little on my drink.

"How'd you—?"

"Nothing gets by me here, Ozzy. You know that."

I haven't told a soul about my plans to propose. Not Dusty, not Jim, not even Rye's kids. I narrow my gaze, and Rob laughs. "I signed for your package, numb nuts. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together when I saw it was from a fancy-pants jeweller."

"Oh. Right." My cheeks burn and I duck my head. Clearing my throat as the moment of embarrassment passes, I ask, "Can I, uh, borrow the honeymoon cabin for a weekend? And maybe a couple of the horses?"

"Oh, I see how it is. You're quitting, but you still want the benefits of working here." Rob winks to let me know he's joking, not that I could have missed it from the giant smile on his face. "Of course you can."

"And, uh, if he says yes—"

"Which he will."

Ryan's got every right not to, and while it might hurt my pride, I'll understand if he doesn't ever want to marry again. It won't stop me from loving him or spending the rest of my life with him. " If he says yes," I repeat, "and if he likes the idea, can we maybe talk about hostin' the wedding here?"

Rob's eyes light up and get suspiciously shiny. He clears his throat. "You're pushing it, kid," he answers, but his voice is gruff with emotion, and that's all the answer I need right now.

* * *

A month later, I'm setting my plan into action. At this point, the news of my plans has filtered through the station like wildfire. I should have known it would: I work with a bunch of nosy Nellies and gossip queens. Still, the guys help me set up the cabin to match my vision, and they all stay out of sight when I take Ryan out on a sunset ride around the station.

He's not what I'd call a natural on a horse, but he knows how to handle himself in the saddle. In a nod to how we met, he's riding Jemima, while I'm on an appaloosa named Humpty. Ryan's bubbling, bright laughter at hearing the horse's name suggested I wasn't completely in on the joke, but I didn't mind. I just love seeing him happy and relaxed.

I take him over the paddocks and plains I've come to know like the back of my hand, bouncing gently in my saddle as we trot calmly over the patches of grass faded yellow from the sun. The sky is melting into deep orange and pink overhead, streaked with fluffy white clouds tinted almost purple around the edges. It's like being in a piece of art, humbling and surreal.

"I do love it out here," Ryan says, closing his eyes and breathing in the warm evening air as we bring the horses to a slow stroll over one of the hills overlooking the whole station. The countryside below us stretches on for what looks like forever; nothing but trees and paddocks and cattle as far as the eye can see.

There's a quiet stillness around us, broken only by the lowing of cattle and the hum of cicadas and crickets as they prepare for their evening concerts.

As I turn to watch my Boy, I'm almost struck speechless by how ethereal he looks, backlit by the setting sun in its rainbow of joyful colours. He has grown out his goatee into a full beard, and the silvery strands catch the oranges and pinks, making him glow. It reminds me of the evening we reunited, right here on the station. I'd thought he was lit up with beauty back then, too.

"I love you," I blurt, having lost track of the plan and all of my chill.

His eyes open, and even their grey-blue depths seem amplified by the majesty of the sky overhead. He smiles his usual sweet smile back at me. "I love you, too."

My heart hammers in my chest, and I know I'm not going to be able to wait any longer. I had a plan to take him back to the cabin after we stable the horses. The guys have laid out rose petals and have champagne chilling in an ice bucket. There's a nice dinner waiting in the oven, and a candelabra (unlit, because I wouldn't leave any kind of open flame unattended) on the dining table. I was going to get down on one knee and give Ryan a whole speech about how much he means to me, about how he has helped me to be the Daddy I've always dreamed of being, about how I can't imagine a future without him in it.

But this is the moment. Right here, right now. Surrounded by nothing but open sky, rolling red dirt and scrub pastures, and the soft huffing and chuffing of the horses we're riding.

I guide Humpty over to sidle up right next to Jemima, who sidesteps once but holds her place like the good horse she is, and I reach into the pocket of the light jacket I'm wearing. My hand clenches tightly around the ring box, and I take a steadying breath before I bring it out and extend it towards him, popping it open as I ask without fanfare or my prepared flowery speech, "Will you marry me?"

Ryan's gaze flies from mine, to the ring, back to mine and I watch the emotions play out over his expressive, handsome face. Surprise, elation, love, trepidation…

"I…" he starts and stops, and my heart stutters with fear when sadness washes over his face. "I don't want you to go through what I did with Maddy."

With a lump in my throat and my heart beating at a million miles a minute, I shake my head. "Darlin', I already love you to the moon and back. Whether there are rings on our fingers or not, I'm with you to the very end, whatever that might be."

His Adam's apple bobs and tears slip from the corners of his eyes and trail down his cheeks, into his sexy as fuck glowing beard. "You arsehole," he complains and wipes angrily at his eyes with the back of one hand, the other still gripping Jemima's reins. "You're stuck with me, too."

"Is…that a yes?"

"It's a fuck yes, Daddy."

I whoop and holler, then apologise to the horses who stomp a little uneasily at the unexpected ruckus. Once they're settled again, I lean over and cup Ryan's jaw with the hand not holding out his ring, tugging him to my mouth for a long, deep, passionate kiss. When we part for air, I rest my forehead against his, repeating, "I love you, darlin'."

He sighs happily. "I love you, too, Daddy." He swaps the reins to his right hand and holds out his left. "Now, make it official already."

I snort. "You're still no good at bratting, honey."

He shrugs. "I've got a lifetime to practice now, don't I?"

Sweeter words have never been spoken.

"Bring it on, darlin'. I look forward to a lifetime of spanking that perfect ass of yours."

"You'd better put that in your vows."

I laugh, and we settle in to watch the sun lowering over the horizon. Eventually, we turn the horses around before we lose the last of the light and trot our way back to the stables with the promise of our future ahead of us.

When I met him, I had lost confidence in myself. He helped me rediscover it and has given me the happily ever after I thought was out of reach. No matter what happens from here, I hope I can be the husband, Daddy and Dom he deserves. I know I can't ever replace Maddy, and I don't want to. I just want Ryan to be happy and I think, together, we will be.

Forever.