Chapter Eleven

"Pray, do not keep me, my dear!" James laughed as Lady Lamberton wrapped her arms all the more tightly around his neck. "I must go to walk with Lady Newton."

"Must you?" Lady Lamberton sighed heavily and pressed her lips to his cheek, sending a slight wave of heat through James though, much to his displeasure, there also came a slight niggle of guilt.

"Yes, I am afraid that I must," he said, trying to disentangle himself from her. "I am to walk with my betrothed though, as I have told you, I do hope that this situation will not last long." James sole purpose in coming to see Lady Lamberton had been to inform her about what the situation was as regarded his engagement to Lady Newton, informing her that there could be no further connection between them until his engagement had been ended. Lady Lamberton had been rather disappointed, though much to James' relief, she had understood and had expressed her hope that they would not be too long apart. "I will return to your arms very soon."

Lady Lamberton sighed and settled her head on his shoulder, seemingly unwilling to let him go. "I do not think that I can bear it."

"Ah, but bear it you must." Looking down at her, James let himself kiss her again for what would be the last time for some duration though, to his frustration, the nudge of guilt within himself now grew to such a loud roar, he pulled away from her a little more quickly than he might otherwise have done. He did not like such a feeling and certainly had no desire to sense any sort of guilt over his behaviour but, for whatever reason, it was attempting to grow within him. With a scowl, he stepped away, catching the look of concern on Lady Lamberton's face at his expression. "I am only morose over the thought of being apart from you," he said, by way of explanation. "But go I must."

"It will not be long until we are back in each other's arms, I am sure," Lady Lamberton said, with a confidence which forced James to nod in fervent agreement. "I wish you well, my love."

"I thank you." Bowing over her hand, James resisted the urge to press a kiss to it and, after another moment, made his way from the room, silently wondering just how long it would be until he could be back in her company again.

***

James put his hands behind his back as he continued to walk alongside Lady Newton. It was more than obvious to him that Lady Newton was not at all inclined towards his company but what could be done about that? They had to pretend, did they not? They had to make the ton believe that they were quite caught up with each other, even though they clearly disliked each other's company.

"It is a very warm day, is it not?"

When Martha looked up at him, a dullness in her eyes, James could not help but chuckle. It did not come from genuine laughter, however, but rather from a sense of awkwardness.

"Forgive me, Lady Newton, but I can think of nothing else to say. Though," he continued, "I do think it would be best if you took my arm."

Martha shook her head. "I do not want to."

"I am well aware of that and I certainly do not ask you this because I desire it either. But, as you know, we are painting a picture of our connection to society and we must make certain that they believe we care deeply for each other."

With a long sigh, Martha turned to look up at him, her steps slowing. Thereafter, she took her arm though her fingers lay limply there rather than showing any sort of genuine interest in being physical connected with him.

"And you have nothing to say?" he asked, hating that there was such a great wall of silence between them. "Nothing whatsoever that might breathe a little life into our walk?"

Martha glanced at him and then shook her head. "I can think of nothing, Lord Granton. We are both very well aware that there is no genuine desire between us for our engagement to lead to marriage. Therefore, I can see no reason for us to speak to one another."

"Ah, but what if someone asks you something about me?" James challenged, seeing her frown. "What then? We must keep up the appearance of connection, Lady Newton, whether you wish it or not."

She let out another sigh and then looked up at him again. "What is it that you wish to know about me, then? I can think of very little I require of you."

James hesitated for a moment, finding himself a little surprised at her tone. Yes, he had known that she was not at all inclined towards him but did she truly feel this heavy hearted? Was she really just as bored as she sounded?

Or is it that I find myself a little intrigued when I ought not to be?

Ill at ease after such a thought, James cleared his throat and then glanced over his shoulder to where Lady Hampshire walked. "Tell me about your family."

"I have an older sister already wed and a brother who has been married for some time."

"And does your brother have any children?"

She scowled. "Does such a thing matter? It is not as though someone is going to ask you about my brother's children."

James considered this and then shrugged. "I suppose they would not. Well then, might I ask what hobbies you enjoy? Do you play the pianoforte? Do you paint?"

"Does not every young lady?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him. "Yes, I play the pianoforte and I sing, but not particularly well. I do paint on occasion but I do not have any real interest in such things. They are done out of requirement, nothing more."

"I see." Suddenly finding himself a little concerned that no gentleman would think well of her given what he now knew, James glanced to her again. "You would have to play and sing to the very best of your ability, should the opportunity arise," he told her, seeing her frown. "You do understand that the other gentlemen of the ton will be eager to see such traits in a young lady such as yourself."

Much to his surprise, Martha snorted with a sudden laughter, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she looked at him. "Of course I am well aware of such things, Lord Granton," she said, a heavy irony in every word. "I have been a young lady searching for a husband for some time now. I think I know what it is that a gentleman seeks as regards the propriety and expectations of someone such as myself."

Rather than take this with any sort of displeasure, James found himself smiling, his chest tight with a laughter which he did not permit himself to release. It felt strange to be smiling at her and that feeling would have increased all the more should he laugh along with her. "Of course, Lady Newton. I did not mean to suggest otherwise."

"I will be doing all that I can to garner the attention of any suitable gentleman that I can," she told him, firmly, her laughter now gone from her entirely. "You need not be concerned about that."

"I am glad to hear it."

Martha's green eyes caught his again and she looked up into his face for some time before she next spoke, leaving James wondering what it was she was thinking.

"Your own family, Lord Granton?"

James shrugged. "I have none to really speak of."

"None?" Martha's eyes widened suddenly. "Not even a cousin?"

"Oh, I suppose I have cousins, yes, but brother or sister, no. My mother lives in the Dower house, even though I am not yet wed." He offered her a slightly wry smile. "It seems that she prefers her own company to mine. Or mayhap it is that she did not want to be connected with a scoundrel such as myself, even if I am her own son."

"And that does not trouble you?"

The answer came to his lips at once but James held it back for a moment considering. He had always told himself that he did not care that his mother chose to live alone rather than under his roof, though now that he considered it, was that truly how he felt? "I… I suppose that I have always been aware that my mother deserves to make her own choice about such things," he said, slowly. "In that regard, I am not troubled."

Martha nodded but said nothing, leaving James to ponder what she had asked him. He had barely thought of his mother in some time, leaving her pushed from his thoughts. Had he done such a thing in order to forget the pain that such a separation caused him? Or did he pretend that the pain itself was not truly there in the first place?

"Perhaps I should not have asked."

James looked at her. "I beg your pardon?"

Martha lifted one shoulder. "You seemed to be lost in thought there for a moment. I did not mean to cause any sort of deep introspection. It was a simple question, that is all."

A little frustrated that she had been able to see such a thing upon his expression, James straightened his expression and looked away. "You need not have this concern you, Lady Newton. Should anyone ask, you may say that my mother has already made her way to the Dower house in expectation of my marriage. That is all that is required of you."

She said nothing for a few moments, again looking at him but without saying a single word. James found this a little unsettling but did not let himself question her, choosing instead to keep his gaze fixed on the path ahead rather than looking back at her.

"I suppose," Martha began, after some time had passed. "I suppose that I need not ask about your interests, Lord Granton."

"Oh?"

The edge of her lips curved upwards though her voice was filled with a heaviness which James had not expected to hear.

"I can surmise that your preferred enjoyments include cards, gambling, riding, shooting, dancing and flirting with as many young ladies as you please," she said, making James' eyebrows lift. "Though I am certain it may be a little more than mere flirtation. However, I have no need to hear any particular details, of course."

James blinked, rather astonished that she had spoken of every single thing that he enjoyed without having even to ask him about it.

"It would be far too much to hope that a gentleman such as yourself had any interest in reading, for example," she continued, sending a stab of anger through James' heart. "Or any other gentle pursuit, for that matter."

"It seems that you have already ascertained the sort of gentleman I am," James interrupted, before she could say any more. "Yes, Lady Newton, I am just as you describe, though I am sure that you did not expect anything else from a gentleman such as myself!"

"Indeed," she answered, crisply. "I did not."

"Well, in that case, I am glad that you are satisfied," James snapped, finding himself irritated with the young lady. "You know what you can say about me, should anyone ask, and now I find myself aware of what I can say about you in return."

"Good."

"Good."

James continued to walk with Martha on his arm, his skin prickling, his anger burning and his jaw tightening. For whatever reason, the way she had spoken to him, the way she had told him about himself, the way she had spoken so bluntly about him made him feel… irritated, though he did not know why. It was not as though Lady Newton was going think well of him, was it? She knew exactly who he was, exactly what it was he was doing and yet, somehow, he found it frustrating that she had spoken without even a single word of softness towards him. That made very little sense but yet, that was what he felt.

"Oh, good afternoon, Lord Granton, Lady Newton!"

James saw someone approaching from the right hand path and, quickly forcing a smile, looked to see none other than Lord Billington, as well as Lord and Lady Kelling, coming towards them both. "Good afternoon to you all." He bowed, looking to Lady Newton. "I do not think that you are acquainted with my betrothed, Lord and Lady Kelling. Permit me to introduce her to you now."

"Oh, we are acquainted with her father," Lady Kelling said, lifting her chin as she looked back to Martha, her expression rather cool. "Good afternoon, Lady Newton. I presume that you and your father are grateful for the good fortune that this connection has brought you, yes? It means that his financial difficulties – difficulties which he brought upon himself – will no longer be a trial for you."

James found his body tensing all over again as Martha looked away, her face growing a little pink as she tried to answer. It was a stammer, nothing coherent as she clearly struggled with the sharpness which had come from Lady Kelling. It had been unexpected to the point that even James himself was surprised.

"I did hear that it was all rather unexpected how the connection came about." Lord Kelling sniffed and looked to James, his eyes not even flicking to Martha. "You lost a bet, I believe?"

"Yes," James admitted, seeing that there was no reason to pretend. "I did."

Lady Kelling laughed aloud, though it was not the bright, happy sound that he might have expected. "My dear Lord Granton, how could you let yourself be taken in by Lord Hampshire? Did you not know that he is a prolific card player?"

"Though he did lose so significantly, he was forced to pay his debts over the course of many years," Lord Kelling interrupted, as Martha's head dropped lower and lower. "I presume you did not think that you were in any danger of losing, did you?"

James hesitated, very aware of the way Martha was responding. She was shrinking low, clearly embarrassed about what was being said of her, of what was being spoken of and how little she could say in return. He tried to tell himself that he did not care, that there was nothing that he needed to consider but the way that her shoulders rounded, the way she lowered her head forced him to reconsider.

"While you are quite correct there, Lord Kelling, I am sure that you would be surprised to learn that I have lost my heart to Lady Newton," he said, catching the way that Martha immediately began to lift her head, her figure straightening as he continued. "I may have lost the bet but I consider now that I have won a great prize of which I am now very grateful."

Lord Kelling's eyes widened and he threw a glance to his wife. Lady Kelling blinked quickly, then lifted one eyebrow in James' direction.

"Do you mean to tell me that you now find yourself drawn to Lady Newton?" she asked, speaking as though Martha was not present. "You cannot be telling the truth, Lord Granton, I am sure you must be pretending. You need not try to spare her feelings, I am sure!"

James lifted his chin and moved a little closer to Martha, putting his hand over hers for a moment. Her hand was still on his arm but it was an obvious sign that they were pulling closer, drawing nearer – and he saw that Lady Kelling noticed it. The words came to his lips before he could stop them, spoken in a low, dark tone that seemed to come from his very heart. "I would appreciate it, Lady Kelling, if you would make certain to speak kindly of my betrothed and that you would accept what I am telling you about my own heart and affections. It is not particularly kind to hear such things being spoken and the last thing I want is for my betrothed to be upset or injured. After all, she is now very dear to my heart and I want nothing more than to make sure she is happy and contented. I am sure you can understand and will not take offence." He ended this with a smile but that did not stop the shock from rippling across Lady Kelling's expression. Her eyes flared for a second, her lips pinched, her face turning a little pale. There came a slightly tense silence for some moments, though James kept his lips curved into that small smile, waiting for Lady Kelling to respond. Lord Billington, who had said very little until now, cleared his throat a little gruffly, then looked around at them all.

"I am sure that everyone understands your new fervour for your betrothed," he said, as Lady Kelling sniffed and turned to her husband, taking his arm and keeping her gaze far from James and Lady Newton. "It is a little unexpected, that is all."

"Quite." Lady Kelling finally threw him a look but James only smiled.

"Surprising it may be but I can assure you that I have no intention of returning to my previous way of life," he stated, seeing how Martha glanced up at him. "Lady Newton has given me more than I had ever expected and I have no intention of turning from her."

"I quite understand." Lord Kelling nodded and, much to James' relief, gave him a small smile. "I felt the same way when I first saw Lady Kelling. I know just how fiercely one's heart can be affected."

James inclined his head. "I thank you, Lord Kelling." He sent another look to Lady Kelling, relieved when he saw the softening about her expression, the tenderness with which she now looked to her husband. "I did not mean any offence, Lady Kelling."

"I understand." Lady Kelling, now seemingly quite contented again. "Lady Newton, I do hope that all goes well with your wedding, whenever it comes. Are you to have the banns called soon?"

Martha licked her lips. "I am waiting for Lord Granton's guidance in that," she said, after a few moments. "We knew that this would come as a great surprise so there I believe it will be a little prolonged as we wait for the ton to accept this new commitment between us. Then, we shall have the banns called."

"I see." Lady Kelling had the grace to blush. "I believe that I am one of those within society of whom you have just spoken, Lady Newton, but I believe that now, I am convinced."

"As am I," Lord Billington remarked, his expression one of interest. "Do excuse us now, will you? We will permit you to continue on your way without further interruption. I am sure that you will wish to have as much time in each other's company as you can."

James smiled his thanks and then quickly stepped away, lifting his hand from Martha's and finding his heart a little sorrowful over their sudden separation.

"You did not have to do that, Lord Granton."

"Of course I did. You are my betrothed and I will defend you."

Martha looked at him. "But to the point where you might lose some of your friends and acquaintances?"

James chuckled and shook his head. "They are not friends and barely acquaintances, Lady Newton," he told her, seeing her eyes searching his. "I know of them, yes, and we have been introduced but it is not as though we have spent much time in conversation or the like. I did find Lady Kelling much too harsh with her words and I do not want to see you injured."

Martha's gaze tore from his and James cursed himself silently. Why had he said such a thing as that? He did not want her to think that he was in any way caught up with her for that was not at all what he had meant.

"We must also keep up our appearance of happiness with the ton ," he said, quickly. "Lord and Lady Kelling, as well as Lord Billington, will tell others of what they have spoken of with us this afternoon. That is a good thing, I am sure."

"Yes, it is." Martha did not sound particularly convinced, however, her brow furrowing lightly. "Though all the same, I am grateful for what you said, Lord Granton. It took the shame and confusion from me, whether you meant it to do that or not."

James smiled and, much to his astonishment, found his hand settling on hers again. "But of course," he said, before dropping his hand away again. They both lapsed into silence as they walked together again, the path now James' only consideration. His mind began to fill with questions but he pushed them all aside, refusing to let them even come to the forefront of his thoughts. The only thing he was doing, he reminded himself, was finding a way to end this engagement to Lady Newton, so he might return to the life he loved. Everything else was a pretence, a sham; nothing but a shadow that would soon pass.

And I am contented with that, James told himself, as they continued back towards the carriage, ready for their walk to come to its conclusion. Am I not?