CHAPTER 2
"You must remarry, Philip, you cannot stay in mourning forever."
Philip shook his head as he tried to forget his mother's words.
The wind blowing through his hair as he rode his favorite horse, Midnight, through Hyde Park was supposed to help clear his mind, but as Philip cantered, he found himself more burdened than ever.
He had not bothered with the ton for many years now. He had successfully avoided socializing with high society for the last five years, but now that his younger sister Georgina was ready to make her debut, he knew that he was going to have to face it all again. This Spring, he would be deeply involved with the ton once more, trying to ensure that his sister made the right match during the Season. It wasn't a burden that he relished having on his shoulders, but he was fiercely protective of Georgina and would not trust her future to anyone else.
He could only hope that he would not find himself the center of attention. He did not want anyone to try and set him up with a match because that was far from what he wanted.
If only he could make everyone else understand that…
With a deep sigh, Philip turned his steed around, knowing that he could not avoid the problems that awaited him at home forever. Much as he would have loved to continue riding until the sun set, he knew that it would change nothing.
Philip rode Midnight to the stables and handed him off to the stable boy, before he took confident strides towards the house. Maybe he did not feel as confident as he looked, but that was hardly the issue.
"Ah, good afternoon, my lord." Philip was immediately greeted by Mr. Jameson, his butler, with a solemn vow. "You have a visitor."
"I do?" Philip wasn't expecting anyone. But perhaps he should have known what was to come.
"The Dowager Marchioness awaits your presence in the drawing room."
Mother.
Of course.
***
It was coming again; he just knew it. The closer the got to the start of the Season, the more relentless she became. When Adelaide, got something in her mind, it wasn't often that she did not get her way. She was stubborn, but so was Philip.
He forced a smile on his face and went to greet his mother cordially.
With a nod to Mr. Jameson, Philip headed towards the drawing room, dreading what was to come. His mother was seated on the sofa, her posture regal and her expression determined, which could only mean one thing. She was here to get what she wanted
"Philip," she declared the moment she caught his eyes. "Your butler said that you were riding through Hyde Park."
"I was," he replied stiffly. "Midnight needed to stretch his legs. As did I."
"Splendid. It's good to see you out in society. Especially with the Season coming up."
Philip sighed, steeling himself. It was coming again; he just knew it. He could almost feel the intensity of the pressure weighing down on his shoulders.
"I suppose we should discuss how we are going to handle the Season…"
"Is this not something that you should be talking about with Georgina?"
Adelaide narrowed her eyes at Philip. "I have already discussed my plan with your sister. She knows exactly how she is going to tackle the Season. It's you we need to focus on now. This will be the perfect chance for you to find yourself another bride."
"But, Mother, I don't wish to remarry. I have already expressed my intentions. Your relentless efforts to see me remarried are a waste of time. I don't know why you refuse to understand."
Adelaide smiled softly. "I know that it was hard for you to lose Julianna, Philip. I understand that you loved her very much. The illness that took her from us was absolutely tragic, and nothing will ever take that pain away from you."
"So then why are you trying to force me to find a bride?"
His mother rose from her seat with her eyes fixed on Philip. "It has been five years since you lost your wife, Philip, and there are other things you need to consider."
"Such as?" he asked exasperated.
"Such as the importance of fulfilling your duty to the family by securing our future through matrimony and of course producing an heir."
Philip resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Perhaps he would not have to deal with any of this if he and Julianna had born children, but it simply had not happened for them. When Julianna had died, so had his hopes for a family and legacy. Why could his mother not seem to understand that?
"I have compiled a list of suitable young ladies for you to consider…"
"Mother!" Philip snapped as guilt flowed through his veins. "Please, that is quite unnecessary."
Why would she even think to do such a thing when he was still grieving Julianna? Why would she want to put so much pressure on him? It was horrifying. It was almost as if she wanted him to forget all about the woman he loved, purely for societal reasons. It was base. It was wrong.
"There are some lovely women on this list," Adelaide continued as if she had not heard him. "Lady Rosalind Fitzwilliam for example. Now she is a rather beautiful debutante, who I believe would make a wonderful marchioness. She is graceful, beautiful, of course, and a very well-mannered woman who has been bred for society. It would be a shame if you did not even give her a chance. One dance might really change your mind about her."
Philip clenched his jaw, trying to rein in his frustration. His mother's persistence was relentless, and it seemed nothing he said could deter her. "Mother," he began, trying to keep his tone calm, "I appreciate your concern for the family and our lineage, but I am not ready to consider another marriage. Julianna was irreplaceable to me, and I don't wish to dishonor her memory by rushing in to another union. Especially one with a Lady that I don't even know."
Adelaide's expression softened, but her resolve remained firm. "Philip, I feel your grief, truly, I do. But you must understand that life goes on. Your responsibilities should go beyond your personal feelings. The estate, our family name, and the future all rest upon your shoulders. We cannot forget that."
Philip ran a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of his mother's words. He knew she had a point, but his heart wasn't ready to open up again. Perhaps that would change in the years to come, but not right now.
"I need more time, Mother. Please, respect my wishes on this matter," he said, hoping to appeal to her sense of compassion.
Adelaide sighed, her eyes filled with a mixture of sympathy and determination.
"Very well, Philip. I will give you some more time, but the Season will not wait. You must at least attend the social events and be seen. Your sister's future depends on it as well. We cannot afford to have rumors spreading about your absence and about our name!"
Philip nodded, relieved that his mother was willing to give him a bit of respite, even if it was temporary.
"I will attend the events for Georgina's sake. But please, don't press me about marriage for now."
"Agreed," Adelaide said, though Philip could see she wasn't entirely satisfied. "We shall discuss this further when the time is right. For now, let us focus on ensuring Georgina has a successful debut."
Before Philip could get another word out, his sister swept into the room. She always had such impeccable timing, Philip often wondered if it was intentional. She had some intuition that allowed her to know when he needed her the most.
There would be no arguing with Georgina in the room. No one wanted to cause her any distress, especially during this very important time of her life. Making her debut in society had to be such a weight on her. There was no way he wanted to make it worse.
"How are you, Georgina?" he asked his sister kindly. "How are your preparations for the Season coming along?"
Georgina's eyes sparkled with excitement as she replied, "Oh, Philip, everything is falling into place perfectly! My gowns are being finished, and I have already received invitations to several important events. I am so eager for it all to begin. I cannot wait to spend time with other Ladies and perhaps some Lords as well."
Philip smiled, genuinely pleased to see his sister so happy. "That is wonderful to hear. I am sure you will dazzle everyone and make a splendid impression."
"Thank you, Philip," she said, beaming. "I have no doubt you will be the most supportive brother, at my side at every event."
"Of course, Georgina. I would not miss it for the world," Philip reassured her, though the thought of enduring the endless social whirl made his heart sink.
Adelaide, still standing, watched the exchange between her children with a mixture of pride and urgency.
"Philip," she urged, "Remember that your presence will also be important for Georgina's prospects. A strong familial presence will reflect well on her. It will show the ton that we are a united and well-respected family, worth getting to know."
Philip nodded, knowing his mother was right but still dreading the attention. "I understand, Mother. I will do what is necessary."
Georgina's face softened, and she touched his arm gently, sympathy radiating off of her in waves. "Philip, I know this is difficult for you, but we will get through it together. And who knows, perhaps you might even enjoy some of it."
Philip chuckled softly. "We shall see about that, Georgina. For now, let us focus on making sure you have the best Season possible."
They discussed their plans for a little while longer, with Georgina clearly thrilled about the dances that were coming her way. But eventually, Philip slipped away, using his work as an excuse.
He most certainly needed a moment alone in his study away from all the stress and pressure that he was currently under.
His mind was racing with conflicting emotions. He longed for the solace and companionship that his loving marriage had once provided him. He loved Julianna and promised to love her forever. Could he really just abandon that promise because she had died? It did not seem right.
Everyone could remind him that she would have wanted him to move on, but that did not mean he had to do it. That did not mean he had to just love another… or even worse, marry without love. What was the point of that?
With a heavy sigh, Philip settled into his chair, determined to find a way to balance his own desires with the expectations placed upon him as the Marquess of Eilendale.
Philip leaned back in his chair, staring at the stacks of correspondence that awaited his attention. They were a stark reminder of his responsibilities, both to his family and to his estate. He needed to ensure everything was in order before the social whirl of the Season engulfed him entirely.