CHAPTER 12

"Your behavior was absolutely reckless."

Philip held his head in his hands as his mother paced back and forth in the parlor, waving the scandal sheets above her head.

"Do you even understand what you have done, Philip? The way that you acted at the soiree was utterly ridiculous. It's as if you were not even thinking about our family's reputation when associating with a jilted spinster."

"You are making far too much of a fuss, Mother."

"The ton are all talking about it. It's in the scandal sheets."

Philip shook his head sadly. "It was merely one dance…"

"This is your sister's debut Season, Philip. We don't want attention on our family for all the wrong reasons. You have to be more careful with your interactions, Philip."

"I don't know what I have done wrong…"

"Lord Cedric Fitzwilliam was once betrothed to Lady Verity Sinclair," his mother informed him firmly. "Four years ago, but he called off the engagement."

"But why?" Philip could not image any reason for ruining his chances with such a beautiful and captivating woman, it made no sense to him at all.

"I don't know. But I do know that a gentleman would never break off an engagement without good reason." His mother waved the scandal sheets at him once more. "Which this has proven. There must be something very scandalous about that woman."

"I… I don't know what to say," Philip admitted.

"Well, then perhaps I should remind you that we are hosting the Fitzwilliams later this evening for dinner."

"But…"

Adelaide shot him a look, instantly silencing him. "But nothing. This is also the perfect time to try and overcome this scandal. It's incredibly important to maintain appearances and foster advantageous connections. That is exactly what tonight will do."

Just as Philip suspected. Now she was going to become even more unbearable with her desire to match him with someone. And if she had set her eyes on Lady Rosalind then it was going to be incredibly hard for him to put a halt to this.

Rising to his feet, Philip knew that if he did not escape this terrible environment very quickly then he would end up saying something that he would go on to regret.

"I am going for a ride in Hyde Park."

"I don't think that this is the time," his mother tried, but Philip did not want to hear it.

"I think it would be best for me to have a clear mind before tonight. Is that not something you agree with?"

He knew that his mother would not disagree with that. If she wanted him to be on his best behavior tonight, then she needed to give him some much needed space.

She nodded sharply, just the once, and stepped aside to let him free.

Philip stomped from the house and headed straight for the stables. He needed some time with Midnight now more than ever before. His head was spinning far too quickly and he could not settle for even a moment. He hated the words that his mother spoke about Lady Verity, and that was what struck him the most, the way that she had been so dismissive and rude about someone who's company he actually enjoyed. Perhaps there was a broken engagement in the past, but anything could have happened.

There was absolutely no reason to blame Verity for it.

He straddled Midnight and took off cantering towards Hyde Park, hoping that the fresh air would cool his temper down.

There is more to Lady Verity, he thought decisively as Midnight rode through the greenery of the park. I am sure of it.

He could not imagine why any man would ruin the chance to be married to Lady Verity. She was pretty and sweet and truly wonderful to talk to. There had to be some terrible reason why things fell apart, but Philip's instinct wasn't to immediately blame Verity for it.

There were people enjoying the sun, wandering around Hyde Park, living their happy and comfortable lives. Of course Philip did not know that for sure, he had no idea what was going on behind closed doors, but he could not imagine that anyone was as plagued as him. He could not imagine anyone was suffering under the same pressure as him.

If only he were free to do whatever he wanted. If only there was no worry about titles and lineage. If only he could talk to whoever he wanted to, without the suffocating eyes of the ton upon him. If that were the case, then he would not hesitate. He would certainly spend more time getting to know Lady Verity without having to worry about what the scandal sheets had to say. He would be able to enjoy her genuine nature and their conversations about their shared interests.

There would be nothing holding them back.

He paused for a moment, halting Midnight in his tracks as he spotted a couple walking the length of Hyde Park who captured his attention.

It was Lady Verity herself, in a carriage with Lord Ambrose Aldford.

Instantly, he felt sick to his stomach. This wasn't a sight that he wanted to see. He wanted to be the one walking with Verity, and taking up her time. He certainly did not like seeing her with a gentleman who did not deserve her attention, and who was unlikely to know anything about her. Philip did not know too much about Ambrose, but his jealousy had him conjuring up all sorts of evil traits the pompous Lord was sure to have.

He turned Midnight away from the scene, determined to clear his head. The rhythmic gallop of his horse and the rush of wind against his face helped to dissipate some of his anger, but the image of Verity with Ambrose lingered.

Returning to his family's estate, Philip dismounted and handed Midnight off to a stable hand. He knew he had to prepare for the evening's dinner, but his thoughts remained with Verity the whole time. She had danced with him at the ball, now he was clearly trying to court her, but surely that wasn't what she wanted.

It made no sense at all.

As he made his way inside, he resolved to speak with her, to find out more about her past and to understand the circumstances that led to her broken engagement. Was that why Ambrose had latched on to her? Because he saw her status and age as something to take advantage of?

The thought filled him with a rage that was out of proportion to the short acquaintance he had with Verity.

***

As evening fell, Philip donned his dinner attire, his mind still preoccupied with thoughts of Verity. He had not been able to stop thinking about her all day. Thinking about what it might have been like had he been the one in the carriage with her…

His mother's insistence on a match with Lady Rosalind Fitzwilliam only added to his frustration, especially with the dinner looming over him. He might not have wanted to do this, but he joined his family in the drawing room, where they awaited their guests because he had no choice in the matter.

No one seemed to notice the darkness of his mood. It was as if no one even cared.

The Fitzwilliams arrived promptly; their arrival marked by an air of expectation. Philip could feel his mother staring at him the whole time.

"Lord Cedric, Lady Daphne, and of course Lady Rosalind, welcome," Adelaide greeted them warmly. "We are delighted to have you with us this evening."

"Thank you for having us," Lord Cedric replied, his voice smooth and confident. "It's a pleasure to be here."

Philip bowed to their guests, his gaze briefly meeting Lady Rosalind's. She smiled at him, a gesture he returned out of politeness rather than genuine interest.

As they moved to the dining room, the conversation flowed smoothly, dominated by discussions of the latest social events and trivial matters. Philip found it difficult to engage, he could not seem to find anything to say in front of these people. They were all so interested in things he could not care less about.

That only got worse when Lady Rosalind tried to talk to only him about the one subject that he was never going to get excited by.

Gossip.

"Did you hear about Lady Evelyn's latest scandal?" Rosalind began, her voice tinged with excitement. "They say she was caught in a compromising position with Lord Davenport."

Philip forced a polite smile. "No, I had not heard," he replied, his tone flat.

He truly hated talking about others like this, but he also could not make a scene.

"It's all anyone can talk about," Rosalind continued, oblivious to his lack of interest. "I suppose it's only a matter of time before it's in the scandal sheets. I wonder what they shall do. Get married, I suppose, because what else can they do? Unless he wishes to ruin her…"

"Yes, I suppose so," Philip said, his mind wandering.

Rosalind prattled on, sharing every bit of gossip she had gathered over the past few weeks.

Philip nodded at appropriate intervals, but he found it increasingly difficult to focus.

"Philip, is everything alright?" Rosalind's voice cut through his reverie, pulling him back to the present. "You seem… distracted."

"I apologize, Lady Rosalind," he said, offering a weak smile. "I have a lot on my mind. I have had a very busy week, as I am sure you can imagine."

Rosalind bit down on her bottom lip and nodded, likely thinking of how the scandal sheets featured him recently.

"Of course, my lord," Lady Rosalind replied sympathetically, though her eyes held a glint of curiosity. "The pressures of your position must be quite overwhelming at times."

As the ladies retired to the drawing room after dinner, Philip found himself cornered by Lord Cedric, who wasted no time in steering the conversation towards the benefits of a union between Philip and Lady Rosalind.

"…her beauty is unmatched, and our family's reputation in society is impeccable, as is yours. Aligning our estates would undoubtedly bring great advantages to both our families."

Philip nodded cautiously, not wanting to give the wrong impression. "I understand your point, Lord Cedric. The alignment of our families is certainly a weighty consideration."

"She has been taught well, which I am sure is important to you."

Philip bit down on his bottom lip.Good manners were not as important to him as a loving connection, but how could he say that now?

Philip nodded again, his internal conflict palpable, but outwardly composed. "I appreciate your confidence in me, Lord Cedric. Your insights are valuable, and I will certainly take them into consideration."

"Excellent, excellent," Cedric smiled, his demeanor confident. "I knew you would see the wisdom in this, Philip. Rosalind is a gem among women, and I have no doubt you will come to appreciate her qualities even more as time goes on."

How had Verity ever been betrothed to this man? He wasn't the sort of man that Philip could imagine making her happy.

When their guests finally announced their intention to take their leave, Philip felt a wave of relief wash over him.

It was over at long last.

For the time being anyway.

He bid farewell to the family with a polite smile, masking the turmoil within.

As the carriage carrying the Fitzwilliams rolled away in to the night, Philip turned away, his mind already set on what he needed to do next…