Chapter 27

Tired, physically worn out, and sluggish, Linh let out a tiny groan. She cupped low on her abdomen before she even peeked open her eyes from sleep.

A tender ache radiated deep within. Her pussy felt hot, swollen, while her clitoral folds were puffed from overstimulation. Her thighs felt overworked, while the rest of her legs ached from being squeezed straight for too long. Even her right breast, as if the Duskwalker mainly attacked just the one with his tongue and fingers, was warm.

Lying on her side with her back to his chest, she brought her knees up. She cringed at the smear of liquid she could feel in the creases of her body: between the crooks of her thighs, under and between her breasts, around her neck. Her body tightened as her gut twisted at the slimy way it felt, making seed drip from her core and highlighting how drenched the slit between her thighs still was.

The rest of her – areas that had dried – had been so saturated that trying to remove her palm from her navel had it sticking to it for far longer than comfortable.

My stomach hurts.The longer she woke to realise what state her body was in, how sore and well used it felt, the harder her gut knotted. A lead ball seemed to be growing within her.

Her throat clutched with anxiety, as memories that felt too similar, although not as intense, made her tear up. The lead ball moved, pushing underneath her stomach as she took in how wet and stained she was. Her skin felt unclean, wrong. It felt gross.

Lying here with Nathair felt wrong, and her flesh prickled with goosebumps as his chest moved from heavy breaths against her spine and sticky backside. Masculine breaths of a person who had been inside her, touched her everywhere, saw every inch of her body.

She wiggled away as her breaths turned sharp and shallow. I don't feel good. She didn't know if the pain was real, or if her stomach was truly trying to turn itself inside out so she'd vomit, but saliva coated her mouth.

Trying to just accept her body, she curled into a tight ball with her arms across her stomach protectively. It only seemed to make it worse. She was naked, too exposed, and with her eyes closed, she felt weak and feeble.

Linh threw herself into a seated position, so her privates were protected from below as she huddled her legs. Both her fringe braids had unwound from the base of her pigtails during the night, and they swayed in front of her crinkled eyes. The rest of her hair clung to her skin.

Oh gods. It's in my hair.Seed was everywhere.

Memories she didn't want, things she hated, flashed behind her clenching eyes as she rocked. Disgusting sounds mixed in with the many from the wonderful night she just had, and scents and touches that once burned at her skin, did so again.

Her flesh itched, as if the liquid was trying to seep into her like needles.

Tears began to squeeze past her clenched eyelids, and they fell fast and with heavy drops. Stop it. I enjoyed it. It's not the same. They aren't the same. Yet, no matter how much she told herself the truth, she just felt sick. Everything felt wrong. In her heart, regret swelled, and her lips trembled.

Why?! She cried to herself, not understanding why she was having this reaction. W-what's wrong with me? W-why can't I just be normal?! I don't want to feel like this – like my skin is crawling, like my own pussy feels wrong. Even her breasts felt too heavy from being touched too much, highlighting that they existed.

Why am I broken?She thought she was ready!

She'd been able to touch Nathair's cocks without feeling like she wanted to expire or disappear afterwards. She hadn't been faced with sinking regret, fear, or anxiety.

So why now? Why after the amazing night they shared?

She lifted her head with stark eyes. Where are my clothes? She wanted to cover herself, so she felt safe again. They were the only barriers she had, the only things she could wear to protect herself, even if they could be torn away.

Even if it didn't truly matter.

She caught movement to her left and didn't even realise Nathair had awoken or wasn't in a trance until then. She'd thought he'd been out of it, giving her time to freak out alone. Knowing he was there, conscious, only made fear like she hadn't felt in weeks choke her.

When he came into view, she sobbed and flinched away from him as if she'd been struck. Please don't hurt me. Don't pull my hair. Her scalp tingled in preparation for a harsh yank in order to try and assert dominance over her tears, to try and get her to stop panicking – which only ever worsened her fretting.

"I-I-I'm sorry," she stuttered through hiccupping heaves. "I'll stop crying."

Refusing to unfurl herself, she let out a loud cry when he touched her. He scooped his arms around her body and lifted her off the ground.

Oh no. Where is he taking me?All she could do was tremble and let him do what he wanted.

Nathair lifted her above his head when he slithered into the water to stop her from going under. He settled her in the warm water gently to let it caress her skin, to let it clean her. It did nothing to loosen her fright-filled muscles.

She noticed he dipped down until all that remain above the surface was his skull, and bubbles formed around his gills. Is he hiding from my scent?

Guilt only made her tears fall faster, and made her heave harder.

Nathair brought her to the ledge she'd kissed him, had reached for him, begged for him. Now she clung to the glowing crystals to get away, and was thankful when he let her go. She turned her head away as tears dripped on the ledge, and she brought her knees up when her belly just wouldn't stop quivering.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed around distressed hiccups. "I'm sorry."

She wished she had an answer for him, or that she could make herself feel better. That she could explain she didn't blame him, even if she couldn't stand the sight of him right then, even if his touch currently felt like it had set her skin on fire – and he'd touched her everywhere.

Just as she went to apologise again, he covered her mouth to stop her. Old habits burst into her, and she bit into his palm as hard as she could, only to flinch when she expected a reaction. She got one; he patted the top of her head in a single stroke.

She shuffled to get away from it, although thankful that was what she received.

For a long while, she clutched the ledge while trying to deal with her own body, her reaction. Being in his presence worsened it, but there was little they could do.

She doubted she'd be able to take a single breath and hold it to get to the other side of the underwater tunnel. She thought she may have preferred the darkness, rather than to be seen in the light like this.

Slowly her breaths calmed enough that she didn't feel like she was about to spit out her lungs. She refused to lower her bent legs, wanting to keep her feet shielding her privates, but her muscles did begin to unlock. She wished the knot in her stomach would unravel, but she couldn't do it with all the soreness she felt.

Looking for a way out, she finally braved talking to him.

"N-Nathair," she croaked with a sniffle.

He gave her a grunt in answer. God! He was probably watching her freak out. Was he pitying her? Judging her? Angry with her?

"C-can you heal me, please?" she asked, and immediately noted a blue flicker in her peripheral vision before it faded.

She wanted everything to go away. She wanted to feel normal again, like nothing happened so she could breathe.

Her neck arched when he ran the pads of his fingertips from her collarbones up her throat. She shook her head. He did it again with a loud huff.

"I-I don't want to sing."

He moved, and all her anxiety redoubled when he placed an arm on both sides of the ledge... with her between them. He trapped her, giving her no escape unless she was to dive. Then he traced her throat again with the smallest growl.

Linh, fighting through tears, hummed as loud as she could muster. It often cracked, and she struggled through her shudders.

"Can you hear me?" he asked, his voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. She nodded. "Good. Don't stop until I say so." He dipped his head over her shoulder just enough for her to feel the end of his snout against her cheek. "You want me to heal you?"

Linh nodded.

"No,"he said with a dark and unnerving undertone.

"Why?!" she yelled.

When he didn't answer, she hummed again.

"I am willing to remove my seed, but not the evidence of my touch," he answered with the tiniest hint of hostility in his tone. "You ask for too much."

Gosh, that made her feel so shitty. "I'm sor–"

Instead of covering her lips to stop her apology, he cupped the underside of her jaw and clamped it shut. It allowed her to hum still, but it jittered from her. She couldn't take this right now; it was too aggressive.

His voice was quieter, but no less powerful in its statement. He drew back a single arm and brought it underneath the water to glide his claws across her torso.

"This ache inside you is my ache. The pain you feel inside your pussy is one I gave you. The swollen thrum you feel is from you coming over, and over, and over again, as you pleaded for more of me."

Her inner walls clamped in memory, and she didn't know if that made her feel better or worse.

Why is he doing this?What happened to the Nathair that cared about how she always felt? The one who made her feel safe, secure, and comfortable in all scenarios? Now that they'd had sex, did he not... care anymore?

"My cocks burn from being buried inside you. My seed sacs throb from emptying myself repeatedly into you and on you. My groin aches, overused by giving you what you wanted. All. Night. Long."

Linh's nails tried to dig into crystal to get away when he buried the end of his snout into the crook of her neck. He placed his arm back on the ledge until his clawed hands rested just beyond hers.

"I told you. I will not play fair if you claim me, Linh, and you claimed me until my cocks were raw," he rumbled with a warm pant wrapping around her skin. "So, when you are ready, little nightingale... come revel in the pain of our ravenous fucking with me."

He was telling her to wait it out, as if he knew how she felt would fade after time. Linh held onto that.

She didn't... want to regret it. She'd loved every second of it, had adored the way he moved within her, while he touched her all around. She'd liked the way his hard scales had glided over bare flesh for the first time, and the way he released pent-up and needy groans for her.

Even when she'd been passing out, she wanted more. Linh hadn't wanted it to end – the pleasure, the feeling, all of it lasting forever so she could live in it until the world crumbled.

She thought she would have died happy if he'd fucked her last heartbeat out of her.

So, she battled herself while he secured her in place. She continued to cry, but she gritted her teeth to unravel the knotted lead ball within. It was so heavy that it felt like a ball and chain trying to drag her to the depths she floated in. She didn't know how long passed, if it was minutes or hours, but she weakly laid her cheek on the quartz ledge when she finally relaxed.

She sniffled and blinked lazily at the glowing world before her. It was still beautiful, even if she currently felt heartsick. Her gaze drifted to his hand, and she just stared at his glossy claws for what felt like forever.

Shudders fell past her lips as her tears continued to drip.

His hands are so big,she thought, her mind dozing.

She observed them until her right hand twitched closer to his. She hiccupped and sniffled, just as she brushed the tip of her index finger against the side of his thumb. He didn't move, even when she braved caressing the side of her finger over the white protruding knuckle bones and the smaller black scales.

Only when her ring and pinkie fingers brushed against his thumb did he finally turn it on its side. The last of her distressed sounds grew quieter as she tickled the inside of his soft palm. He cupped the back of her hand, so both their palms were facing her, and she took in the startling differences.

His hands were unnaturally big, even for his body, and she wondered if all Duskwalkers were like that. The tips of her fingers barely went past his second knuckle, and the heel of his cushioned around hers.

He bent his fingers until his claws lightly stabbed into her palm.

She reached for the other, and he gave it to her so he could hold both of hers in the lukewarmth of his.

When her heart finally calmed, and she felt normal again other than the throbbing in her pussy, she suddenly felt remarkably silly for crying. Which only made her want to start up again for an entirely different reason. Not in regret, but because of all the hurt she'd suffered to cause this.

How her emotional wounds had tried to ruin something so beautiful in their selfish cruelty.

Rather than apologising again, she whispered, "Thank you."

Nathair purred and nuzzled the end of his snout just behind her ear. He squeezed her hands, and finally brought himself closer until his chest pressed against her back. The vibration of his purr stopped her from tensing up, and she found the sound so utterly soothing in that moment.

Giving into the cuddle completely, she lowered her legs until her heels bumped against his tail.

"Can we stay here for a little while?" she asked, not wanting to change what they were doing until she truly felt better.

While holding her hand, he signed, "yes."

As he started licking the corded muscle of her neck, up her jugular, like he wanted to lavish affection on her, warmth radiated in her heart. I really thought he'd be disappointed in me. Linh had just had a full-blown panic attack, all because she'd had sex with him. Part of her had feared how he would react.

Despite how much his denial of healing her had felt betraying at first, she was thankful for it now. Yes, her body thrummed in a way that was uncomfortable, but he was right. It felt good – an ache made from him, from their rigorous fornication of twisted need and surely many fond emotions as well.

When minutes ticked by in the complete silence, something crossed her mind. If he wanted her soul... did that mean what he really wanted was her love? Her heart did a little backflip at the thought.

"I-if I request something, will you promise to not take it as an offering?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course," he answered, refusing to let go of both her hands, and she almost giggled at that.

"Can I..." She chewed at the inside corner of her lips. "Can I see my soul?"

He ceased moving. She wondered if asking had repercussions, or if he was pondering if there was a deeper meaning to her request.

Then he let go of her right hand and brought it closer to her chest. She looked down so she could watch him take her soul from her body. He tapped against her sternum, but nothing happened and that seemed to disappoint him. Her torso waved and rippled like water as he gently pressed the backs of his claws past her physical boundaries and reached deeper into the very abyss of her being.

Linh felt nothing, even when he had sunk base-knuckles deep. A bright red-orange light came from her as he pulled back, and behind his knuckles, floated her soul.

She hated that it was curled up in the exact position she'd been in right after she'd woken up.

Its feet were tucked protectively against the cleft of its backside, its knees against its chest. Its arms were crossed over its stomach, as if it, too, felt unwell. With its face buried against the nook of its knees, all she could think was... it looked uncomfortable.

It didn't appear to be resting peacefully.

Nathair pulled until it was hovering in the empty space between her outreached arms.

"Can I touch it?" she asked, her fingers itching to do so.

He tapped the back of her hand as he laid his right arm back to how it'd been before, yet he never let go of her left hand. Linh came closer to it until she could brush the back of her index finger against its side.

It dropped to the ground, and two brown eyes, with no pupils or whites in them, opened to look around. It darted its head one way and then the other before taking in her hand next to it. It crawled to it and tucked its back into her palm while appearing to cower, only to instantly calm.

It constantly covered its chest and pelvis, as if its nudity bothered it.

"Is this what I look like?" she asked with a cry, her eyes crinkling in distress. "A fucking shaking mess?"

"No," Nathair signed as he squeezed her left hand. He let it go, so he had freedom. "Your soul is your inner self. Your deepest feelings. It represents all parts of you, even those you may hate."

She didn't know if that made her feel better or worse.

She petted the side of her soul's stomach like she wanted to soothe it in the way she wished for when her anxiety got the best of her. Then as nonchalantly as she could, she asked, "Can I see yours?"

He gave a hum in thought. "I don't know how to do that. My soul does not sit inside my chest like yours. It is all of me."

All of him? Like the same size as he is now?Did that mean it filled every inch of his gigantic, monstrous body?

Linh chose to let it go.

Instead, she focused on her own and nudged it to stand. It was wary as it did, its face turning away from Nathair's skull with an awkward, inward shift of its shoulders. She made it spin so she could take it in fully, noticing that the dark, near-charcoal section she'd once seen on its back was much smaller than before.

She didn't ask what it meant, as she doubted she'd like the answer. She also didn't want to know what the palm print on its right inner thigh meant, nor the singular one that spanned across both wrists.

She did furrow her brows when she only counted two. I thought there were more. Then again, she'd only briefly glanced at it both times before she clutched it in worry he'd gobble it up.

The longer she gazed at it, the more a smile teased her lips. "That is nice."

The moment felt wildly intimate in the strangest but most spiritual of ways. What other human could play with their literal fiery essence? The fact she was doing so, with a soul eater no less, showed the deep level of trust she had for the Duskwalker pressing against her back.

"Your soul is beautiful," he signed, before caressing the back of her free hand with the smooth, glossy curve of his claws. "Like you."

"Do you want to know what I think is funny?" With her small smile remaining, she placed her cheek against the quartz and tried to tickle the flaming version of herself. "My first name means spirit, and here I am playing with mine."

She managed to get it to come out of its shell a little with a soundless laugh. It crouched to hide from her torturous fingertip until it fell on its side. It kicked and slapped at her, trying to fight her off, which only made her laugh out loud.

Then it bit her, and she yelped when it hurt!

She hid her fingers from it, just as it cupped its own hand to its chest. Did I... just hurt myself?

Which only made her wonder, "If I die, does that mean my soul dies?"

"Yes. It turns white."

She pursed her lips as she helped it back to its feet so it could hover properly. "Is it possible to harm a soul while the person it belongs to is alive?"

Nathair answered in the affirmative, and she just accepted it. She swiped it behind the knees so it could rest in her palm, like how the back of her left hand rested in his. Linh just held it, wishing she could feel its warmth or life other than pressure. It was light, like it weighed nothing, yet it was so unbelievably important.

I kind of want to give it to him,she thought, taking in Nathair's scaled arms, his light-grey fins, the way he was, but also wasn't, holding her.

But I want to go home.She wanted to see her family. She missed her parents, her younger sister, her friends. As much as she wanted to stay with Nathair in his cave, she had a life she wanted to return to.

A life she had been stolen from.

She didn't think she'd be complete again until she returned to it like she'd always intended. Like she'd promised the day she'd been forcibly taken from it. In the back of her mind, she kept thinking her journey of healing would finish there, like a circle of fate finally reaching its end.

It wasn't fair that she was being forced to choose.

Her village was so close, just a day's walk if she didn't stop to rest. Yet the person she wanted was here.

Why can't he just come with me?She didn't care what anyone thought.

Who cared if she was falling in love with a monster? His kindness and humour were not enough to fall for him, but his unflappable support towards someone who needed understanding was truly admirable. She knew she was broken, even if he stated otherwise.

She wanted to think of herself as broken, because it felt like he was picking up the shards of her mess and piecing them back together bit by bit. The glue he used was all the small things he did to make her feel safe when she thought she'd crumble. Then he held the shards in place as they dried, even when she kept wetting them with her tears.

He'd become her blanket of security from the very first moment she slept in his tail. He not only kept out the monsters lurking outside his shield, but also the memories in the boundaries of her mind. She rested, peaceful, in the middle of him.

No one else could do that for her.

No one else would look like him, feel like him, smell like him.His skull was bewitching, as were his hooked ram horns. His orbs glowed with fiery life, and they were so pretty no matter what colour they shone.

She giggled to herself as she thought, No one else has two dicks like him, either. A bit of a weird bonus, but one she was happy about. She'd been very happy about them last night.

An index claw tapped against the foggy quartz.

Nathair then bumped his skull against her cheek. "Can I touch it?"

I don't know why he's asking. He's touched it before...Her lips parted when she realised that the only time Nathair had ever actually touched her soul directly was the very first time he took it from her. He's only ever beckoned it out of me.

The day on the beach, and even now... both times her flaming self had floated behind his knuckles.

Oh, Nathair.Her heart stuttered at what she thought that may mean. He doesn't like touching any part of me without consent. Even this, and it only made her chest swell in tenderness for him to the point it panged and ached.

"Yes," she stated, her voice clogging with emotion. She trusted him not to take it while she was still so unsure.

She slid it off from where it sat on her palm, and she moved her arm back to give him room. Her smile brightened when he went to envelop it from the side, only for her expression to fall as her soul flinched and stumbled away.

Blue shifted into his orbs, and he backed off.

Linh, pissy with her literal self, pushed it towards his palm with the back of her fingers. He didn't move, as if not daring to, yet the moment its backside touched him, it clung to her fingers when she tried to slide away.

"Excuse me," she bit out, before she picked it up and placed it in the middle of his big palm.

It froze, then curled into the protective position it'd emerged from her in. Stop being annoying, she mentally willed at it. She poked it in the arm.

Nathair released her left hand so he could rub at its form, trying to coax it out gently rather than abrasively like she had. Folding her arms, Linh laid her chin on them so she could watch, and a knowing smile curled her lips.

He'll convince it. She trusted that, because he'd done the same thing with her.

He apparently had more patience. He also cared about what he was doing, made evident by the way he sheathed his claws like he didn't want to damage it.

My soul looks just as confused as me.

Even when he managed to get it to hold his thumb with its tiny arms in a loose embrace, Linh noted the way it inquisitively moved its face between hers and his skull. It sat there with its feet crossed, and she noticed how it slowly settled as he rubbed its torso. Nathair brought it closer as he pressed against Linh's back until her front was threatening to squish against the wall.

Looking over her shoulder, he inspected it more closely. Linh peeked from the corner of her eye to see his orbs had flared bright yellow in elation about being able to hold her fragile inner self.

Seeing him hold such a tiny but vital part of her felt so special. After last night, and then crying, Linh felt raw and emotional, and like her chest was on fire in the most tranquil of ways.

The water was just as soothing as having him at her back.

Her soul relaxed in his hold, allowing him to brush the back of his foreknuckle under its jaw, and Linh herself softened. She reached forward with her left hand so she could hold his wrist, wanting to touch him.

Maybe it was his strength pouring into her somehow, but she found her lips parting to speak... about things she didn't want to.

"My whole life, I've seen so many happy people. Even though the world is full of evil, it felt like our village was a barrier from what lurked outside," Linh started, while rubbing the pad of her thumb against the base of his pinkie, like he did to her soul's torso. "When I was taken... I thought maybe things would work out fine, and we would end up like my parents, even if I hated him at first."

She laid her chin on the quartz ground and then tilted her head so it partially lay on her outreaching arm.

"I wanted to believe that people weren't truly horrible. I chose to have hope and be ignorant, biased, and na?ve. I was so scared... that I just told myself to try to be kind and accepting, as I had no other choice."

Her vision blurred as liquid welled, but her tears weren't followed with heaves or hiccups. They didn't feel like blood dripping and scratching at her eyes, but like the leak of her emotions she'd been bottling finally overspilling. They flowed but weren't important.

She wished she'd stop crying, and that she didn't feel like a mess all the time, but her heart and mind were so muddled she didn't know how to swallow her own reality. Her life was like a bone she couldn't gnaw through.

"I learned that first night that I was wrong. That people truly could have darkness inside them and could unleash it upon those undeserving. I was undeserving. I thought my kindness and acceptance of others with a warm heart would protect me from evil. I thought it would save me."

Linh touched the point of Nathair's claw. She stroked a part of him she knew to be dangerous and deadly. She petted a monster who could have been menacing and vile, and yet had been utterly wonderful to her.

"No part of me was safe. No matter what I said, did... no matter how I pleaded or cried, I only made things worse for myself. If I retaliated, I was met with harshness. I hate that I was forced to learn that if I didn't fight, I wouldn't feel pain, and yet that felt even... scarier." She brushed her fingertip against the cheek of her soul. "But inside, I was boiling. I wanted to fight, to run. Every second of every day for two months, I was looking for a way out that wasn't at the hands of death. When I first held a dagger, I considered killing to protect myself, but I thought if I did that, I'd lose myself. So much had been taken from me already, and I didn't want who I really was stolen by a single thrust of a knife, even if it was deserved. I was shackled, but I managed to slowly pry the bolt out over time. I ran away twice."

She lifted her eyes to Nathair, who had his serpent skull pointed at her soul, yet she could almost feel his gaze upon her. His orbs were bright crimson, but he didn't quake with the fury she thought may be simmering beneath the surface.

"The second time, I found myself at your pond. I was so tired from running all night and day, but I couldn't sleep in the darkness if I wanted to live." With her right hand, she lifted it to place her palm over his snout. "Thank you for saving me from the bandits that day."

Linh had no desire to elaborate on any details. She didn't want to describe the violence she'd been dealt, still wanting to tuck it all away so it could stay a horrible nightmare. This was as much as she was willing to face, or say out loud, and she realised then that she wouldn't speak any more about it, or again.

But she wanted to tell the one person she thought needed to hear this much. To explain her crying, not just today but in the past few weeks, so that he understood the depths of her pain he kept trying to shield her from.

No part of Linh had been safe, and as an apparent ‘wife,' that meant doing her unwanted ‘duty' every day for two months.

No person deserved that kind of hell.

She was no longer na?ve, nor ignorant, but she wanted to pretend she was still innocent. With Nathair, she felt that way.

He was her first Duskwalker. The first person she'd touched with scales, claws, fangs, and even a long tail. He was the first person she'd started falling for, and she was starting to wish he'd be all her lasts too.

"Nathair," she uttered quietly, digging her fingers into the empty eye hole of his skull. "If I asked you to... would you kill for me?"

A growl, so soft and light, rumbled into her.

Cupping her entire neck with his free hand, Nathair licked along her jaw, the forks of his tongue always perfectly nestling the sharp edge of it. He pressed her soul back into her chest, so he could sign freely.

"Was already planning to."