Chapter 18

Linh groaned when movement disturbed her sleep. With her hands cupped above her breasts, she curled into Nathair's chest more. Movement was often stiff when inside his coiled-up tail like this, which was why she liked it.

She was trapped, but it was so soothing. It was like she lay in the centre of a heart, as he pulsed all around her.

For two weeks, she'd been in his presence, and not once had he betrayed her. To feel so safe, with literal walls of muscle protecting her, allowed her to separate herself from life, the very world – where past, present, and future didn't matter. A few hours where she didn't matter.

Out of everything, the laughter that was caused by Nathair's gentle bullying, the moments where he was sweet as he combed her hair and it made her stomach flutter, the intimacy where she felt like she was taking back her body... none of it compared to this.

This intimate cuddle felt more healing than anything.

She hadn't forgotten what they'd done before she'd fallen asleep in his very arms.

Something about having someone else inside her, no matter that it was only a finger, had locked up her stomach. She also thought the intensity of her orgasm had twisted her gut; her heart had been beating too fast, her body frightfully weak afterwards.

Her chest had been exposed, as it still partially was – since she only wore her undershirt and pants. If she didn't trust him as much as she did, she would have been concerned about that.

Linh's brows twitched when movement slipped over the rigidness of her hipbones, as well as next to her navel. She opened her eyes to find darkness with the smallest hint of white light – Nathair's orbs.

Just seconds before, she'd been undeniably comfortable. However, dread prickled across her skin when she felt that rigid hardness slipping backwards.

His orbs are white.He was in a trance.

Wetness was pressed against her. It clung to her skin, making it crawl. She also realised limbs were clinging to her, and that the hardness pressed against her was split in two.

He's hard.He was thrusting against her.

Anxiety clutched at her throat as memories she didn't want to be associated with trickled into her mind. She pushed against Nathair's chest, trying to separate them to no avail. Instead, her squirming only made him thoughtlessly shove harder against her, like it excited him.

Oh god, I'm stuck!That was usually the point, but she'd never wanted to escape before.

Her heart began to sprint as tears bubbled in her eyes.

She knew it wasn't his fault. She doubted he even realised what he was doing, but she was partially bare, pinned, and she was scared.

Scared because he wasn't himself right then. He often moved when in a trance. Sometimes he'd move around his home or lift his arms like he was holding something that wasn't in his hands. He'd even reached out to her a few times, holding her arm like at the beach, or cupping her face.

What if he... What if he did something to her while like this?!

Unable to free herself, nor even move her arms to defend herself, Linh began to tremble. Calm. Try to be calm.

The thrusting stopped just as the smallest heart-bursting growl rumbled. A choke was rent out of her when his large hand wrapped around her throat.

She should have kept her eyes on his hidden face, on the colour of his orbs reflecting against his scales. Instead, Linh darted her gaze up to find his skull now turned to her, red orbs ominously peering down.

Unable to get a hand up to claw at him squeezing around her neck, she clenched her eyes. He's reacting to your fear. Stop.

"Nathair," she whispered out, only to strangle when his grip tightened.

Her lungs suddenly felt too full as they attempted to depress on a trapped breath. Don't be afraid. Control your fear. That felt like an impossible endeavour when she couldn't even take a calming breath.

Instead, Linh focused on her heart.

Nathair slithered all around her, the walls surrounding her shifting and sliding. Although he freed her from his tail, he instead pinned her down by the throat, and she'd suffered that before at the hands of another.

So she reached down into the depths of her consciousness and escaped. With all her might, she pushed nothingness to the forefront of her thoughts, and forced numbness into her heart, her mind, her very veins. She utilised a tool that she despised because it was the complete opposite of who she was, but it had made the two months of hell sufferable.

Her eyes opened lazily as she disassociated from the present, and everything she saw was murky.

His skull was fuzzy, but she could just make out that he parted his maw wide. It came closer, and she didn't react when something lukewarm, wet, and hard slipped across her cheek and forehead. By the blackness that pushed into her gaze, she knew she was looking at the back of his throat, and that it was his fangs she felt.

His hand softened around her neck, and she managed to push out the tiniest breath so she could suck in fresh oxygen. Linh didn't fight, she didn't even claw at his hand even though she was free.

Cold air swirled around them, washing away the thickness that had formed within their cuddle. Wake up, Nathair.

By the pain she felt in the front of her throat, she knew her windpipe and vocal cords were damaged. She wheezed.

Just as his fangs were about to finish their glide and would flick forward and likely stab into her, Nathair froze.

Linh was violently shoved to the side when the Duskwalker leapt back with a writhing tail. His bellowing roar blasted into her senses, as did the ability to breathe, and her body convulsed as she coughed. Forced back to the forefront, her numbness faded at the swift change of state, and she cupped her swelling neck.

The thwack of his body hitting the stone ground outside of his nest was loud, as was the constant flicking and smashing of his tail.

Renewed tears bubbled in her eyes as she rose to her knees, just as she saw purple cloth in the corner of her shaking vision. Linh grabbed her dress and drew it to her chest to partially cover herself before turning to Nathair when she heard him whimpering.

Dark-orange orbs crested over the edge of the nest. He was circling his hand over his heart repeatedly as he reached out to her from the outside of his nest.

Even though she knew he was saying sorry over and over again, was only trying to cup her face, she was so freaked out that her shoulders turned inwards to shrink away from him. She continued to cough, to wheeze, while trying to keep her tears at bay.

Usually he wouldn't touch her when she recoiled from him, but Nathair placed his palm on her shoulder. Orange magic glittered around her, and the swelling pain in her throat dissipated.

Eyes wide with panic, she attempted to cast him a thankful gaze. He was still signing sorry, his whimper not fading, and she took in how much his arm was quaking as he drew it back.

"It's okay, Nathair," she offered, trying to hold his gaze to show the sincerity of that. The whole event was a blur, and much of it was her fault. "It w-was an accident. I know you didn't mean to."

It was an accident, and yet she couldn't handle the way everything reminded her too much of her trauma. Her lips trembled as liquid fell from her eyes. She had to look away when her shock finally bled out to tell her just how fucking scared she'd been.

Had she almost been assaulted in a way she didn't think she could bear? She'd been strangled, and if she hadn't forced her numbness, she would have been fucking eaten. Or, at least, envenomed.

She'd known the likelihood of violence had always been possible, but she'd thought she would have been able to handle it. Yet even though he absolutely didn't mean to, she couldn't stop the way his betrayal made her want to be sick.

I-I care about him.I care if he hurts me and eats me now. For a long while, she'd considered him her friend, but she'd begun to see him as more.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, before scrambling out of the nest.

She needed to be alone so she could collect her thoughts and settle her emotions. How she felt would fade: the feeling of betrayal would dissolve when her heart wasn't trying to come up her freshly squeezed throat.

Linh didn't even care that she shoved herself into darkness by going into the tunnel. Balancing and guiding herself up the wall, the way was paved by memory. When it opened up, trickling water sounded in her ears, and she moved over to it.

She sat next to it and let its cleansing rhythm play so it could give her something other than herself to focus on. She covered her face and shook her head in her hands as she placed one foot on top of the other to make herself smaller.

H-have we been touching too much?Well, had she been touching herself while he watched too much? Or was last night just too much?

I feel like I'm becoming addicted to pleasure.The lack of it had been horrible. Not because she was greedy, but because she'd been taught only pain, uncomfortableness, and sickness revolving around her own body. She'd been trying to erase it, and trying in the most fucked-up way possible to share it with someone she wanted to touch. But she couldn't because she felt so damn broken that reaching out to him felt like she could plummet.

I can't believe I asked him to touch me.She'd been so desperate in the moment that her aching pussy had been purring for Nathair's touch. And it'd purred so damn loud that it'd snuffed out her trepidation and let her leap too fast.

She'd enjoyed it. It'd felt nice to have someone's gentle and kind hands on her. They had been slow, unhurried, and seemed to read what she needed. Even his strange tongue had felt good because it was uniquely his.

Why did he have to be hard?And, since he'd been in a trance, she doubted his erection had been for or about her. Was it from all the touching and the scents? Maybe they had made him fall into some kind of perverted human memory.

She dug her fingers into her forehead so hard her nails threatened to cut her flesh. Why did I have to get scared?

He probably wouldn't have hurt her; that's what she wanted to believe. Maybe if she'd just stayed still, he may have simply rubbed against her until he either came or woke up.

She... didn't think she would have minded that, but her thoughts had just instantly twisted.

I feel so awful.He was probably so confused, and likely blaming himself. I feel like such a bad person.

She felt selfish because her response to everything was unusually severe. Then she'd spend hours feeling so regretful and guilty for her behaviour.

He's so kind and patient.How could I suddenly just lose faith in him like that?

She sobbed into her hands. What's wrong with me?

Nathair sat on the high ledge that overlooked the sunken small ship. He did so with his arms folded and a sickness in his chest.

Two Demons cowered from him in the shade, shaking and trembling with his watchful skull directed upon them. They avoided the sunlight by just a sliver, but he refused to allow them to seek refuge within his tunnels – which is where he'd found them.

Rather than going left to travel up what he considered the main path, they'd gone southwest and deeper within the cliff.

He had not taken Linh that way yet, although he'd like to at some point. There was a specific chamber he thought she'd adore, and would likely share a beguiling, awed expression. He would like to see it shine from her and knew it would be pure and sweet.

He didn't know why he was putting off showing her, but he thought it was because he wanted it to be... special.

The path also needed to be safe, and he couldn't guarantee that. These vermin hiding away were evidence of that.

But Nathair was already feeling rather guilty today, and these Demons hadn't done anything wrong to him. Sure, they were in his territory knowingly, considering they hadn't come sniffing after the human he had in his keeping. He'd let them be free by half-heartedly chasing them.

They look like forest Demons.They must have gotten trapped throughout the night by exploring the wide arc of beach and cliff wall.

He couldn't use his voice to make them leave, but he knew his watchful gaze was telling.

His arms tightened across his chest when dark orange flared in his sight before the reddish pink of shame flickered. I cannot believe I attacked her.

This day was always likely to come, but he hadn't thought his fucking cock would be jutting from him at the same time. He remembered what fragments had caused it. He could only imagine what he'd been doing to make her smash him from his trance, something he couldn't even do, by hurling him into a bloodthirsty rage.

The embarrassment he felt for not having control of his own body. The shame that it'd happened. The guilt that he'd squeezed her throat so hard it looked red and dented. The anger at himself that he'd been a split second from envenoming her so she wouldn't squirm while he ate her.

It all weighed on him.

The scent of her fear hadn't been strong enough to make him act in swift aggression, but rather trickled through his already weakened mental state to make him move sluggishly. His prey had already been caught, and his starved gut had wanted to savour her.

None of it was his fault, nor was it hers; they'd both reacted on instinct. It didn't stop him from feeling like shit regardless.

She knows I am sorry.He didn't doubt that. Like the day on the beach where he'd hurt her arm, she understood he couldn't help it and would likely forgive him. She'd seen him fade into his trances multiple times.

Despite this, he was finding it difficult to face her.

A maelstrom of thunderous and aching emotions tumbled inside him. He needed space as much as she did.

He'd hurt someone he didn't wish to harm, and he feared, truly feared, what would have happened if he hadn't managed to snap out of it. How did I snap out of it? She couldn't just erase her own fear... could she?

Fuck. I don't know.He enjoyed holding this female while she slept like a cute little bunny on his chest. He didn't wish for that to end simply because of this, but wouldn't that be wiser? If they went back to before, where she slept wherever she wanted and he blocked the entry to his cave, he thought he'd find that hollowing.

He liked her warmth; it came with her pretty scent. She was so damn soft it was like she was made of dough, and he fit perfectly around her. Her breaths were calming, her heart lulling, and her voice decadent.

Nathair let out a sigh and dipped his head to the side.

I wish I could ask Weldir for advice.His father had been with his mother for over three hundred and forty years, if not more.

Their relationship was a mystery to Nathair, as Weldir scarcely spoke of it. He had a feeling things hadn't been well for a long time, but Nathair was aware of Weldir's longing to keep his intangible hands on her.

It must be hard to be made of cloud and mist when you have a female you crave.

Therefore, Weldir could have bestowed upon him advice.

All he needed to do was call for him – shout his name, speak it. Then again, I would need to be near his mist for that.

No. Nathair was on his damn own, and he was making a mess of it.

When shade finally entered his home and the Demons could run along the path of the cliff wall, he released a growl. They immediately bolted with shrill cries, taking his mercy when he was offering it.

Annoyed that the shade finally came, he backed up and turned to go up the tunnel. I have no other excuse to stay away. Time to go face the human.

His tunnel felt arduous and longer than normal.

When he was halfway up it, he winced. Should I have obtained something as a gift? Is that not what humans do when they seek forgiveness? He couldn't remember what they gave, only that it had to be a physical representation of their remorse.

A fish?No. She'd asked to go ‘foraging' because she wanted a break from eating sea creatures. Then what else could I give her? A fucking rock?

The closer he climbed, the more he heard... something. It was soft at first as it echoed down the tunnel. Is she... singing?It sounded like a sorrowful song, her voice quiet and yet transfixing.

He ducked into the main area. Seated on her backside with her feet flat, Linh had her arms wrapped around her legs to hug them as she stared at the lake.

Does she think I went into the water? He'd considered it, but he wouldn't have been able to sense her properly, and if she had been in danger, he may not have saved her in time. At least going down his tunnels meant nothing could come up them to harm her.

With the way she was positioned, he tilted his head in surprise. Has she been waiting for me to return?

Not because she was hungry, or bored, but because she wanted him to return, missed him?

He longed for that to be the reason.

Nathair approached her, and his silent form meant he didn't disturb her. The voice grew louder, as did her scent, and both tangled and spiralled together in his senses. Her singing voice is beautiful.

Something about it had his sight wavering. His movements grew sluggish – even his heart slowed – and he thought his breaths would taper off and cease.

Time seemed to pause except for her song.

The chatter in the back of his head, the constant source of his suffering that had been going on for centuries, quietened. Then, suddenly, the voices dissolved altogether.

Silence greeted him. Blissful, long-awaited silence.

Nathair shuddered when lightness radiated within his skull. Lightness that was so breathtaking and heavy, his entire body lost every ounce of its strength. Sight going dark, his humanoid torso fell forward, and he didn't have the will to catch himself with his arms.

His body hit the ground with a thud, and his skull smacking it thundered in the cavern.

Linh released a sharp gasp.

Nathair clutched at his skull as his body shuddered, twitched, and writhed. The voices were gone, and he opened his sight to see orange floating droplets. He'd seen his own tears before, how they hovered and sparkled around his eye sockets, but he'd never previously shed them in relief.

He crawled to her since she'd stopped singing, following her beautiful scent like he was a leashed being returning to its master.

Don't stop, he pleaded.

"Nathair?" she asked, lifting her arms when he came upon her.

He weakly curled around her with what little strength he could muster. He couldn't wrap her up as normal – it required energy he didn't have.

Please, he begged, wishing she could hear him, could hear how desperate he was. Please don't stop singing.

Lethargy settled into every part of his being, his very essence. He knew he'd buried his skull against her outer thigh, while his arms curled around her, so she couldn't escape and might give him want he wanted.

Contentment made him whimper when she started her song once more. Her scent was so close now, her voice next to his sensitive ear, and she was so warm that it melted him. All three of these began to pull him under.

His broken orbs leaking ethereal tears blackened again, and he huddled around his salvation.

A snorted huff came out muffled from how his nose hole was pressed against this heavenly being. Finally, after years, he truly and deeply fell asleep.

Quiet, blissful sleep.