17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Charlotte? Come downstairs and eat something," her mother urged.

"I'm not hungry," Charlotte answered through the door.

The moment she'd gotten home, she'd flown up the stairs, raced down the hall, and shut herself in her room. She had to. It was the only place she could hide.

There was a small bit of guilt for shutting her mother out. She'd begged several times for Charlotte to tell her what was wrong, but she refused. She couldn't do it. The shame of August's words filled her.

Just a game.

Doesn't bring much to a marriage.

There are a few others I've got my eye on.

How had she been so foolish? She should have seen the signs earlier. The way he'd never really committed to her, hardly talked to her. It had all been her. She'd let herself get swept away in him, or rather in thoughts of him, and had gotten so carried away she hadn't seen the truth.

Then, when she'd seen that terrible side of him on the day he told her he didn't care for the doctor, even though she felt worried, felt doubt, she'd gone and convinced herself it was just another sign of his desire for her, manifesting as jealousy.

None of it was true. What was, was that she was simply a pawn in his little game of heartbreak.

What was worse was that the doctor seemed to know. Justin had been threatened—hurt! And he'd faced both willingly, to protect her and her mother. What threat had August made? And did that mean if she didn't go to him tomorrow at the festival, that he'd follow through on his threat, whatever it was? Or attack Justin again?

She didn't know, and the worry consumed her. Charlotte wanted to protect him, but she also needed to take care of her mother. What was she to do?

There was a knock at her door. She didn't answer. When it sounded again, she answered, "I'm not hungry, Mama. Please. Let me rest. My head hurts."

It was quiet, and Charlotte relaxed slightly. Then, a voice spoke softly against her door. "Charlotte. Please, can we talk? "

She tensed. That wasn't her mother. It was Justin. Why was he here? Charlotte closed her eyes. The ache in her chest grew.

"I don't know what you heard," Justin continued, his voice sounding as pain-filled as she felt, "but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I've never wanted to hurt you, only protect you. From the moment I first saw you, it's been hard to stop thinking about you."

Charlotte looked at the door. Why wouldn't he go away? What made him think he could stay there, torturing her? Making her feel worse? His words were not helping her confusion.

Still, Justin kept talking. "I fell in love with you. I'm not sure when it happened, but I did. I didn't want to tell you, though. You were, are, I don't know, in love with August. It wouldn't have been right of me to make things awkward. It wasn't just that. I enjoy being around you. I was selfish. I was scared to lose your friendship. I still am."

Charlotte bit her lip. She didn't say anything, but she sank down on her bed and pulled her knees to her chest. She rested her head on her knees as she listened.

"And then," Justin went on, "there was the fact you are a single woman. I'm new to town and also unmarried. If I'd let you know how I felt—how I feel—then it could have put you in a compromising position. That would have ruined your chances of getting what you wanted. Who you wanted. Him. "

There was a long silence. Charlotte kept staring at the door, trying to picture him beyond it. But no matter how much she wanted to see him, she refused to open that door. Things were too complicated. She hurt too much.

Justin kept talking. "I know that my being scared to say anything, even if I thought it had a noble purpose, has put you in the exact spot I didn't want you to be in. I'm sorry. If I could change things, I would. I just don't know how. Charlotte, you make me happy. Your smile, even if it's not meant for me, does something to me. It brings me joy to see it. Knowing you are content and well and enjoying life, that's all I want. Please, please, Charlotte. I'm worried about you. I just want to make sure you are okay. Please let me see you."

Though he couldn't see her, Charlotte shook her head. She didn't want to see him. Didn't want to see anyone. Somehow, between tonight and tomorrow morning, she had to make up her mind about what to do.

The silence stretched, and Charlotte closed her eyes. Soon the sound of his footsteps faded away.

This wasn't just about her anymore, and what she wanted. This was about her mother and Justin, keeping them safe.