Sadie

I’d never been more grateful for a sunset. As the sun dipped from the sky, a surprising chill filled the desert as temperatures plummeted. We rode southward throughout the rest of the evening toward the bridge that led up to the lowest of the floating islands. We rounded behind a jagged rock formation, hiding the wagon from the main road. Even when Navin parked next to a mound of craggy desert rocks and came inside, he didn’t look at me.

“We’re breaking for an hour,”

he said, “then we’re on the road again. We need to get most of the way before sunrise if we don’t want a repeat of this morning.” He grabbed his lute off the shelf and returned to his bunk. A moment later we heard the deep woody notes of Navin’s music.

Maez and I exchanged glances as shame filled me. A repeat of this morning . . . and he didn’t mean my father’s surprise attack. I still didn’t understand how they knew where to find me. And now, I had no clue which way to turn. My father was somewhere behind us, my betrothed was ahead, and everywhere around us was unforgiving, uninhabitable desert. I couldn’t exactly show my face in Rikesh with a bounty out for me, could I? But turning back might put us directly in my father’s path again. Turning west would take us to Damrienn, which we definitely couldn’t do . . . And what of our mission for the Golden Court? Was there any hope we could still pull the Onyx Wolves into the fray? Or at least convince them not to raise arms against us?

“You look like your brain is about to catch fire,”

Maez muttered, and my feet abruptly stopped.

I hadn’t realized I’d been pacing back and forth. A silent conversation passed between my friend and me. She knew me so well I swore she could hear the questions racing in my head.

The space was suddenly too confining, making my skin itch. Flicking my knife back and forth wouldn’t be enough to settle me. I couldn’t just sit there and stew about my father and my arranged marriage and every which way I was entirely fucked. Nor could I just listen to Navin playing his music, ignoring me, clearly spooked by seeing me in my Wolf form.

“I’m going for a walk,”

I announced to no one in particular. I headed to the piles of shoes and yanked on my boots. When I’d shifted back into my human form, I’d put on light linen trousers and a matching sleeveless tunic. The pale cream outfit was the complete antithesis of how I preferred to dress, normally opting for thick black leather, but after feeling the panic of my body shutting down, I wasn’t going to risk it. Luckily, I fit into the clothes left behind by Mina and Malou, and the Rikeshi twins had always worn light billowy fabrics even in the depths of Taigos. Galen den’ Mora had stashes of random clothing hidden all around the place and I was grateful for the chaotic caching of supplies.

Maez muttered something, reaching for her boots.

I help up a hand to her. “I can go on my own. I don’t need an escort.”

“Your father and uncles could be right behind us.”

“My father would rather die than be parted from the dagger Nero gifted him for his fiftieth,”

I countered, “which means they won’t be abandoning their weapons and shifting to chase after us. And these oxen are the only magical creature that can traverse the scorching heat without rest that I know of. So unless there’s a magical flying pony that you’re not telling me about, my father and uncles are far behind us.”

My logic didn’t seem to persuade Maez. “I still don’t really think wandering off in a foreign landscape is such a good idea.”

I threw my hands up, exasperated. “I’ll be fine.”

“Sweet Moon, would you stop being so stubborn?”

Maez snapped. “You practically combusted today! Besides, I’m going to contact Briar. She needs to know about this run-in with your father.” Maez’s nostrils flared, her throat bobbing as she added, “And to tell her about the Evres situation.”

“You’re going to tell her?”

“I don’t keep anything from my mate.”

Maez’s dark eyes narrowed at me. “Just don’t go far from the wagon. I don’t want to have to rescue your tail again.”

I released an angry breath. “I hadn’t had breakfast and I wasn’t prepared for the heat and I hadn’t dressed for a chase through the tunnels of town, okay?”

I wrapped my thin cream scarf around my nose and mouth, protecting me from the sand that was getting kicked up in the wind. “And yes, maybe I was also a little rattled about the fact that my father had brokered a marriage for me to Prince fucking Tadei!” The music faltered for a second, played off as a trilling note, but I heard the musical stumble and knew Navin was listening to me.

“Which doesn’t mean you should do something foolhardy now.”

“I can’t—I can’t stay in here! I was almost trapped into a marriage. I won’t be trapped—”

“You know we’d never let him take you,”

Maez said quietly, shaking her head. “Calla would wage another war just to get you back. You are a member of the Golden Court. You are no one’s to marry off to. The Silver Wolves are not your pack anymore. We are our own pack. Our own family. A better one.”

I felt the belonging in those words, the family we’d fought so hard to become and the promise of murderous wrath if anyone should lay their hands on me. But I didn’t want any war started on my behalf. I couldn’t be the reason more people died. It was why I would never want to be a queen. I never wanted to shoulder the responsibility of sending others into battle even if I’d gladly go to battle for my own Queen.

“We’re in the middle of the desert,”

I said, ignoring Maez’s words. “There’s no one around for miles. And the sun isn’t blistering in the sky. I’ll be fine.”

I lingered on the steps for a second, waiting for Maez to stop me, but she just clicked her tongue and wandered back to the kitchen, probably in search of something not burnt or rock-hard to eat.

I listened to the sound of Navin’s music resuming as I walked across the dark sand and up into the jagged hills.

The moon was so bright in these parts that it cast the whole landscape in her eerie silver glow. The constellations, too, were brighter and more numerous than I’d ever seen before, the sky milky with brilliant white patches.

I climbed to the top of the rock formation and sat, staring out at the vastness of the nighttime sky and the desert stretching out before us. A scorpion scuttled from one rock to the next, the only sign of life in this place. I wrapped my scarf around me, turning away from the sudden gritty gust of wind. It appeared out of nowhere and then everything was calm and still again. My skin prickled against the chill, surprised by how cool the desert nights were.

I spotted Maez’s silhouette on the horizon as she ran out into the stretch of desert to shift and contact Briar. It would be an awful message to relay. I hoped at least Calla was getting somewhere with the Ice Wolves.

I heard the lute finish its final notes and then moments later footsteps approaching. Even without the telltale silence, I knew it was Navin who was hiking up the hill after me. He had long, confident strides, the loose rubble crunching under his feet.

“Here.”

I felt the warmth of a cloak wrap around my back and realized it was my own. I didn’t know if I liked the idea that he’d climbed up here to bring it to me, but despite myself I pulled it around me. “The nights can get chilly down here.”

I frowned as he perched on the rock beside me and stared up at the moon. “First you reprimand me for dressing too warmly and now for not enough.”

“Do you think me bringing you your cloak is a reprimand?”

he asked to the stars. “These parts can be treacherous, the temperatures extreme. You couldn’t have known.”

“But you were angry with me,”

I said, hating the way my voice went up an octave.

“I wasn’t angry,”

he said carefully. “I was terrified.”

Part of me broke at that. “I knew you’d be terrified of me.”

“What?”

“When you saw my Wolf, I knew, I—”

Navin’s hand reached over and turned my chin to face him. I pulled out of his touch, not wanting to see his disgust, but when I met his eyes, they were wide and honest. “I wasn’t terrified of you.”

His brow furrowed and he shook his head. “I was terrified for you. First, I thought those men might take you. Then I thought I was going to watch you die from heat sickness right before my eyes.”

“But . . .”

I stood, needing to put some distance between us. I backed up, leaning against the peak of sandstone behind me. “When you saw my Wolf . . . you were afraid.”

“Afraid? No.”

His cheek dimpled, the flicker of a smile. “I was awed by you,” he said, rising to a stand. “You were—are—the most magnificent creature I’d ever seen, and I couldn’t bear it, .”

“Bear what?”

He took another step toward me. “To think of all the things you deserve and all the ways I failed you.”

I opened my mouth but had no idea what to say to that. What else was there to say? Navin took another careful step until he was standing toe-to-toe with me. I wanted to tell him that he hadn’t failed me, but I was still too hurt by his actions during the battle with Sawyn to say it honestly. And I had the strong sense he would spot the lie a mile away.

“This was never a good idea anyway,”

I murmured, keeping my gaze fixed to our touching boots.

“It wasn’t?”

Navin cocked his head. “Why not?”

I snorted and met his storming gaze. “You know why.”

“I’ll admit I have some very good reasons why this would be a bad idea, reasons that have nothing to do with you being a Wolf. But I’m curious to know yours.”

It took everything in me not to push him on what his “good reasons” were. He arched his brow. “Is your only reason because I’m human?”

And the massive secret you won’t tell me and caused you to betray me. But I was done with that for now. I pushed off the rock, craning my neck up to hold his stare, my chest meeting his abdomen. “Because I am too strong for you.”

“Aren’t you the one who nearly died of heat sickness this morning?”

“That was one time,”

I gritted out. “And once I shifted, I was fine. Can you do that? Heal yourself?”

“No.”

“No. But it’s more. I’m talking about in a fight. I’m talking about combat. I’m talking about my ability to withstand a lot more than your human body can.”

His smile widened, flashing his white teeth. The mask he usually wore began slipping, revealing a different person underneath.

“You think I’m a delicate soul, don’t you?”

He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear and the sensation made my skin tingle. “You think I couldn’t handle you?” His head lowered infinitesimally, his eyes flicking down to my lips and back up. “You think I couldn’t give you what you want?”

My lips parted, breathless, shocked at his question. He traced my bottom lip with his thumb and hummed. I swallowed the burning knot in my throat and stepped out of his touch.

“That’s exactly what I think,”

I panted. “You don’t know what it means to be with me.”

“I could learn,”

he taunted as he stepped into me again.

“I could kill you with both hands tied behind my back,”

I said tightly. “What could you do to stop me? Play me a song?”

His eyes were alight with mischief as his hands rested on the stone on either side of me. “Songs are more powerful than you think, Wolf,”

he said. “But let’s test out your theory, shall we?”

He reached for me so slowly I wasn’t sure where his hand was going. Finally, it dipped to the pocket of my cloak and pulled out a thick cord of rope. The rope I had bought in the markets—my terrible cover. I had forgotten it was still there.

“What are you doing?”

“Hold out your hands,” he said.

I swallowed, intrigued. He looped the rope around one of my wrists and then spun me to grab the other. He tied my hands together and tugged on the rope until it bit into my skin, then he spun me back around to face him. I glanced up at his parted lips as he stared down at me.

“Go on,”

he said. “Kill me with your hands tied behind your back.”

He waited there, leaning into me. Far too smug that this thin piece of rope had somehow paralyzed me. But I liked this game, whatever this was. I liked that he had this little modicum of control over me. I liked the idea that we could somehow even the playing field between us.

“I don’t want to kill you,”

I whispered.

“Then what do you want to do with me?”

he murmured. “Better yet, what is it you want me to do with you?”

The question made me lick my lips. I knew I should be afraid of this man beneath the mask, or at least wary of him, but he captivated me, too. And maybe I just needed something good, something purely physical to sate the thrill of this new person.

Fuck it.

I stretched up on my toes and kissed him. Navin didn’t let me lower back down, his arms banded around me and pulled me against his chest, his lips meeting mine in a slow, tantalizing kiss. His tongue traced my bottom lip, and he pulled it between his lips, testing it with his teeth before releasing it to plunder my mouth. Each lick of his tongue sent lightning straight to my core. I moaned and his hands dropped lower to my ass, pulling my hips against his thigh.

One of the oxen lowed, a deep whining sound that echoed up through the hills. A sound like a gasp echoed up after it. We broke our kiss and I twisted to see a Wolf shadow bolting across the desert. Maez shifted in a single bound and leapt onto the driver’s bench of Galen den’ Mora. Her voice echoed up to us. “What the fuck is that thing?”

Navin and I turned in the direction she was pointing. A black shadow skittered low over the horizon. It looked bigger than a horse with black spindly legs and a barbed double scorpion tail.

“Get back to the wagon!”

Navin shouted, grabbing my arm to tug me downhill.

“Wait,”

I said, grunting and yanking my wrists apart, snapping the rope, which fell to the ground. “Better.”

Navin’s mouth fell open as he stared at my act of strength, realization dawning on him that I was just playing along before.

“Save the gaping for later,”

I shouted, pulling him after me down the rubble of stones. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”