Chapter 32

Is insanity contagious?

I didn't think so. But as I rush up the stairs, excited at the prospect of jumping into the ocean with Gabe, I'm questioning if I've caught his level of crazy.

I should be looking for a way to escape. Instead, I suggested we stay here for the weekend, and just be us. It's so freaking hard. Because when I'm in his arms, I don't feel like I'm in the arms of a murderer. I feel like I'm being held by the one person in the world who loves me. Truly loves me.

I never considered myself someone who was desperate for or really even looking for love. But I also never experienced being loved before him either. I know my friends love me. But it's different with Gabe. The way he loves me, it's… everything I didn't know I was missing. It's the kind of unbreakable love you read about in stories, watch in Hallmark movies. Except ours isn't the kind fairy tales are made of.

Then it hits me.

I fall to the ground as awareness crashes into me. I'm not running from him because of what he did or who he is. I'm running from him because this love that we have is too intense. It's the kind of love I've been running from all my life. The kind where he has the power to overtake my common sense and make me do things I wouldn't usually be okay with doing.

Like forgetting the fact that he drugged and kidnapped me just yesterday because I wanted to leave. It's a dangerous love. One that I'm both terrified of and want to jump into headfirst, despite the risks.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not okay with him running around killing people, especially not because of me. But that's not really the issue here. The issue is the fact that I do love him enough to overlook those things.

"Daisy?" Gabe runs up the stairs and crouches down in front of me. "What happened?"

"I love you," I say through the tears streaming down my face.

"Are you hurt? Did you fall?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No, I love you, Gabe. And it's scaring the hell out of me."

"I love you too." His hands cup my cheeks. "So fucking much."

"I don't want to lose who I am," I tell him.

"I would never let you lose who you are, because if you lose yourself, I lose you too. And we've already established I won't let anyone take you from me," he says.

"I don't know what to do…" I know I sound like a broken record but I'm spiralling, these same words on repeat in my head.

"Let's just focus on the now, right here. We're going to go and freeze our asses in the ocean, and then we're going to come back and I'm going to run you a hot bath. Then we'll spend the day just being us. Not worrying about tomorrow or anyone else. Just you and me."

I nod my head in agreement. "Let's do that."

"Come on, I'll help you find those towels," he says before picking me up off the floor. I follow Gabe over to the linen cabinet. He opens it and hands me two towels.

"How about we skip the beach and go straight for that bath?" I suggest.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you. You always have the best ideas." Gabe takes my hand and leads me into the bathroom. There's a corner spa tub next to a large window that overlooks the beach. It's breathtaking and I could honestly spend hours in this room.

"Do you come here often?" I ask Gabe.

"Only been to this house a few times. My father used it more than I ever did," he says as he pours some bubble bath liquid into the tub and then turns on the taps.

The more I watch his movements, the more I notice how tense he is. His shoulders are stiff, his jaw ticks ever so slightly, and his eyes are hyperfocused. I'm not sure if it's the mention of his father or this whole fucked-up situation of ours that has Gabe so stressed.

When he stands to his full height, after checking the water's temperature, he turns and looks at me. We both stare at each other for what seems like hours. Gabe is the first to break away.

"I'll let you take a bath." He goes to walk past me, and my hand reaches out and grabs hold of his arm.

"Stay," I tell him. Then I drop his wrist, reach behind my back, and undo my bra, letting the lace fall to the floor. I push my panties down and step into the bath before lowering myself at one end while leaving enough room for Gabe to sit behind me. When I peer back over to him, I realise he hasn't moved.

"You really want me in there with you, Daisy?" he asks.

"I do."

He closes his eyes and exhales a long breath. Then he shoves his pants off and steps in behind me. His legs stretch out on each side of me and I lean back, resting myself on his chest. Gabe's arms circle around my waist, holding me against him.

"I'm sorry I tried to leave." I push out a long breath. "It's not because I don't love you, or because you're not enough for me, Gabe. It's my own fucked-up head I need to get around. Not you."

"It's okay," he says.

"It's not okay. I shouldn't have done it. I just… got scared."

"I don't want you to be afraid of me, Daisy," he says. "I want you to be able to tell me anything and everything that runs through that head of yours. I want to be the person you come to with all your problems. I want to be the person you choose to fight your demons alongside."

"You mean you don't want to just go and slaughter them all for me?" I quirk a brow, even though I know he can't see it.

"If I thought you'd want me to, I would. But I know you don't. At least now I do," he says.

"I just don't want people to die because of me."

"Yet I've never known a better reason to kill," he murmurs softly. I don't think he intends for me to hear the words, but I do.

I close my eyes and let myself relax. I like being with him. I like being his. And I love the feeling I get being wrapped up in him. My hands rest on top of his as I slowly guide one up to my breast; the other, I slide south until his fingers are gliding through my folds.

"Are you sure you want this, Daisy?" Gabe asks against my ear.

"I always want you, Gabe. That's never been in question," I tell him. It's my fault that he's so unsure of everything right now. It's because of me that he seems so unsure of himself. I hate that I did that to him.

But I also acknowledge that my feelings are valid too. Why I left, or at least why I tried to. Those are valid concerns. I also know sex isn't going to fix anything, but it will quiet the voices for a while.

I turn around, splashing water over the edge of the tub as I straddle Gabe's lap and position myself on top of his cock. His hard cock. I line it up with my entrance and slowly slide myself down. Gabe's hands palm each of my breasts as his fingers pinch and pull at my nipples.

"Mmm, oh god," I moan out as I sink all the way down on him. "I love how you feel inside me." My hands roam across his chest. His abs. I don't know where I want to touch him most. I just want to touch him everywhere. "I need you."

"You have all of me, Daisy. There isn't any part of me you don't own," he says.

I continue to grind back and forth and up and down on him. Leaning forward, I stop just before my lips touch his. "Why is it so intense? This need? This desire? I feel like I'm never going to get enough," I tell him.

"I feel it too. I want to consume you. I want there to be no doubt to the world that you're mine. If I could figure out a way to attach us together forever, I would," he says.

"Careful, Gabe. That sounds an awful lot like a marriage proposal," I joke.

"If I were proposing, you'd know it. But say I did, what would your answer be?" he asks, as his eyes search my face for something I'm not sure he'll ever find. I've gotten so good at hiding the truth. Even from myself.

"That's an answer you'll only get if and when you ask the question," I tell him, then close my mouth over his. Because, honestly, I don't want to think about marriage or proposals. I want to live in this moment. Just like we said we would. With Gabe buried deep inside me and an orgasm that's building so fast I can feel it's going to hit hard.

Gabe's tongue pushes into my mouth, his hands move from my breasts to my hips, and he takes over the rhythm of fucking me.