Chapter 30

Ican't believe this is happening. What the hell was I thinking? How can I love someone so clearly unhinged?

Even knowing what he's done, the fact that he drugged me and has me locked in this room, I still fucking love him. Which makes me hate him even more. Screw him for making me fall for him so damn hard.

I'm almost to the bottom step when he catches me. Gabe just picks me up like I weigh nothing at all. My body lands on the bed, a lot softer than I was expecting. Then he turns around and slams the door, locking it before he shoves the key into his pocket.

"Drink," he says, nodding his head towards the bottle of water that he placed next to me on the table.

"I'll pass. I don't know what you've put in it."

"It's just water, Daisy," he grunts.

I look at the bottle and then back up at Gabe. I could really use some water right now. My throat is so dry. But I'm not stupid. For all I know, he's put some kind of sedative in there, something to make me much more compliant. I will not go down without a fight. If he thinks he can just keep me here, he has another thing coming. I will find a way to get past him and out of this room.

Gabe stomps over to the bed and swipes up the water bottle. He unscrews the cap and gulps a few mouthfuls before shoving it into my hands. "It's just water, Daisy," he repeats.

I lift the bottle to my lips and sip at it, the cool liquid easing some of the discomfort in my dry throat. "I want to go home, Gabe."

"I know you do. And I want to take you home. But first, we need to sort out this issue of you wanting to leave me."

"It's not an issue. You're being insane right now. How can you expect me to just fall in line and be okay with all this?"I wave a hand around the room to emphasise my point.

"I don't ever want you to fall in line, Daisy. What I want is for you to not leave me."

"And what I want is a boyfriend who doesn't go around killing people. Guess we both want things we can't have," I tell him while crossing my arms firmly over my chest.

"What if I promise to stop…?" I can hear the hope in his voice, but I'm too pissed off to care right now. It also doesn't matter. Because all it is… is more lies. More promises he can't keep. Even if he wants to.

"You can't stop. It's who you are. If someone knocks into me in a store, or someone says something to me you don't like, what are you going to do?" I ask him.

"I'll teach them some fucking manners. That's what I'll do," he says.

"My point exactly. I don't want to live a violent life, Gabe. I've done that. I've lived that. I don't want to be around it ever again."

"You can't seriously be comparing me to your piece-of-shit stepfather, Daisy."

"He used violence to make people do what he wanted. How is that any different from what you're doing?"

"I'm not fucking abusing you for a start." Gabe begins pacing up and down the small room, his posture tense and his movements flustered.

"You drugged and kidnapped me, and now you have me locked in a room," I remind him, and he pivots on his heel to look at me.

"I got fucking scared. I didn't know what to do. I was fucking terrified I'd never see you again. You have no idea what that thought does to me, Daisy."

"I do, actually, because I feel the same way. You think I want to do this? You think it's easy for me to walk away from you? It's not. It's the hardest choice I've had to make, and I know I'm breaking my own heart in the process. But I won't live a life where I'm afraid that any little thing might set you off into a violent fit of rage."

"I would never put my hands on you like that, Daisy. Never. Ever. I'd cut them off myself before even thinking about it. Please tell me you know that."

"I want to believe you. I really do. But I can't… It's not how I work. I just… I don't trust that easily. And I can't trust someone who keeps lying to me."

"Fuck," Gabe yells out. Then he falls to the ground and leans his back against the wall, with his head on his knees. "I don't know what to do here, Daisy. Tell me what to do."

"You could start by letting me go."

He peers up at me. "What if we both leave?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if we get out of Melbourne? I'll come with you. Anywhere you want to go," he offers.

"I would never ask you to leave your family, Gabe. They need you."

"And I need you. Besides, you're not asking. I'm offering. I will do whatever it takes to keep you, Daisy. So, please, tell me what I need to do."

I stare at him. He's serious. He will literally come with me. Anywhere I want to go. Right now. Leave his family behind. For me. I could never let him do that, though. I know how close he is with his brothers, how much they all rely on each other.

"I don't know," I admit. I can feel my determination wavering, and I don't want it to. I won't allow myself to be weak.

"I love you." Gabe looks right at me.

"I love you too, Gabe, but love isn't always enough."

"It is enough. If we love each other, we can get through anything. Together. Just tell me what I need to do," he asks for the third time. The thing is, I don't know if there is anything he can do.

I lie on the bed, my eyes getting heavier as exhaustion takes over my body and mind. "Don't leave me here alone," I tell him as I feel myself drifting off to sleep.

I wake with a start. The room is dark. A small slither of light sneaks out through the cracked bathroom door. Gabe is next to me. His eyes are on me, watching my every move. "I wish things were different," I tell him.

"Me too," he says. His hand reaches out and pushes my hair away from my face. "I will fix this, Daisy. There isn't any other option."

"I don't know if this is something you can fix. I can't change how I feel, Gabe."

"No, but I can change myself. I can be the man you want, the man you deserve," he says. "I want to be that man, Daisy. I want to be him."

"I know you do, but it's not fair for me to ask you to change who you are. You're a mafia prince. That's who you've been raised to be, and I'm not sure you'll ever not be him."

"It's not fair for you to ask me to live without you. I just got you, and you want to take the one good thing in my life away. That's what's not fair," he tells me.

I feel a tear drop down my cheek. This man, this beautiful man, loves me. I don't doubt that one bit. But I can't be the woman he needs. I can't let go of my own morals and judgement just to be with him. "I think that we were destined for another life and not this one, Gabe."

"Bullshit, we make our own destiny. You and I are supposed to be together. I can feel it in my soul. I knew it the first time I saw you."

"I don't know what to say, Gabe. I love you. I do. So much. But this isn't working for me. If I stay with you, I'm going to slowly lose myself. Worse than that, I'm going to become my mother."

"That's impossible. You are too great a person to become someone like her, Daisy. You love. You are the least selfish person I know. You are amazing, and you are not your mother."

"I need you to let me go, Gabe," I whisper.

"And I need you to work with me here, Daisy. We can find a way to make this work. If you love me like you say you do, then you won't just give up and run away. You'll stay and fight for us, because we're fucking worth fighting for."

Is he right? Am I just giving up on us without even trying?

My heart and head are warring with each other. One says to stay while the other is urging me to run far and fast. And, right now, I don't know which to listen to.