Chapter Twenty-One

W hen Nick exited the carriage, he knew he was in trouble. Not only because he'd given his heart too freely, but he'd taken a duke's daughter out of Town. Terrified of the consequences of his action but thrilled to be alone with Pippa, Nick threw caution to the wind. The damage had been done; he might just as well enjoy himself. If all else failed, he'd take Wendy out of town before he'd get caught and start a new life somewhere else. He'd leave the practice and all he'd worked for a moment alone with Pippa. If he didn't, he'd never forgive himself.

He blinked a few times when Silvercroft Manor appeared before him. He hadn't paid much attention to the countryside when Pippa's breasts bobbed ever so slightly on the bumpy country road, but now that he'd stepped out of the hack, London might as well be a thousand miles away.

The "little country estate" Pippa had adorably mentioned as though it were a lodge in the woods was a chateau; a Tudor-style castle with several smoking chimneys, a red brick, like St. James Palace, and poetic rolling hills of greens surrounding it.

"There's a rose garden in the back; you can't see it from here," Pippa said as she began to walk toward the building.

Nick rushed to her side, trying to keep up. She truly had the most magnificent long legs and walked at a healthy pace. She was perfect.

And still off limits.

Which he'd shattered.

There'd be consequences. Nick gulped. But it didn't matter now.

The wind blew in their faces, and Pippa's hair became rather undone. She didn't seem to care and smiled brightly.

"It's the best season to be here, early in the year, just before everything blooms. It's so full of promise and mystery." She winced when she said it and Nick had a sinking feeling that she had something in store for him.

Nick didn't say anything but thought it was perfect because of her, regardless of the weather.

"Mr. George?" Pippa called when she opened the door, letting Nick into the richly decorated hall. It was like he'd imagined when he saw it from the outside: a thick carpet spanned from the door to the hall. "Mrs. George?" Pippa called again.

No answer.

Heavy wooden double doors lined the corridor. A coffered wooden ceiling held onto wrought iron chandeliers. Even an old lance hung on the wall next to a series of crests.

"Who does this castle belong to?" Nick asked when Pippa hung her pelisse on a hook beside an antique grandfather clock.

"My mother."

"But your mother is—"

"Yes, she died. The estate is held in trust for me but I'm free to run it as I like."

"And your mother was?"

"Florence Philippa Cumberland."

Nick felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. "Of the Cumberlands?"

"Yes, are there others?"

"You mean, you are an heiress of the family that even the Regent borrows from? A third of England belongs to them."

"It doesn't. It would belong to my father, who forfeited his inheritance by remarrying. My great-grandfather, Peter Stewart Cumberland, decreed that none of the family's holdings shall pass to the husband of a female heir if no male heir was born upon her death and the husband remarries."

Nick raised a brow, afraid to ask what that meant.

"I'm next in line. Father lost access to the estate. It's all mine."

He gulped.

"Except that I'm a woman, so I can only look after the holding, but I cannot invest or expand without a husband. I'm the clumsy goose with a big dowry, and nobody wants me."

That's not true. I want you.

Nick pursed his lips and bit his cheek. This was too good to be true. She was a lady and an heiress, wealthier than even the princesses of most European nations. She was stunningly gorgeous. And she'd essentially abducted him as her plaything in her castle. In time for his birthday.

He wasn't prepared for this.

"I-I'm honored that you brought me here, Pippa. But I don't think I should be… are we alone?"

She furrowed her forehead and looked at the grandfather clock. "We might be for the night. I only keep a staff of two here these days. Mr. and Mrs. George. They look after everything while I'm gone, but they live in the village. I didn't tell them exactly when I'd be here, so I see they lit the fires, but I'm afraid there's not much else they can do for us." She shrugged. "No servants tonight."

"I should call the hack back and take you home, Pippa." He turned to the window and pulled the curtains aside. The carriage had long disappeared over the hills.

"Why?"

"You ask me why?" Nick rubbed his eyes with the base of his palms. Where to begin? Because you're the most beautiful, sweetest, most fascinating, and smartest woman I've ever met. Because you're a lady, an heiress, and I'm a pauper. Because you're an innocent. Because you could be ostracized from the Ton and my practice could be destroyed." Because I'm not to be trusted alone with you in this gorgeous castle without anyone to disturb us. "Because I must not fall in love with you," he said without thinking about his words. It was the truth, and he didn't know what else to say. It hurt too much to be so close yet feel insufficient to grab the opportunity.

Pippa put her hands on her hips. "You don't want to, do you? So, you'd rather leave?" Hurt colored her voice. "Even with a fortune, nobody wants to love me."

"What are you talking about, Pippa? Do you not see what I see?"

Her eyes reddened, and Nick noticed the tears welling up. "Pippa, you're a duke's daughter, and I'm nothing. I had to train very hard for a long time to finally establish my little practice. It's my livelihood, and I'm also responsible for my sister. If I touch you the wrong way, Pippa, if your father lets out his scorn among the Ton, it's not just my practice but all of us, Felix, Alfie, Wendy, and Andre. Our practice would be finished."

"I understand. I'm inconvenient." She sniffled and escaped his gaze. "I'm never good enough."

"Nev… what?"

"I'm the clumsy and ugly goose. I couldn't catch myself a husband for all the love in my heart and all the money to my name. I'm just not lovable." Tears stained her cheeks, and Nick wanted nothing more than to kiss them away. To hold her in his arms and soothe her. To confess his feelings and share his heart because it was too much to feel all this alone. He didn't know how to bear it by himself.

"Pippa, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met. Don't tell my sister, but you're the smartest, too."

Pippa laughed at that and then sniffled again.

"Look at how sweet you are." Nick touched her cheek gently. "You're the only person I've ever seen who can laugh and cry simultaneously. You have such a big heart. You nurtured a crippled bunny to health. Even when you didn't see well, you grew a bounty of the most beautiful plants with your sense of touch alone. How can you not see what I do?"

"My vision… I don't see."

"Pippa, look not with your eyes but with your heart if you think I can just allow myself to feel what I do."

"Feel what?"

"Love? Perhaps more? I've never been in love, so I am unsure, but the symptoms are clear."

"Symptoms?"

"Yes, I lack appetite except for the pineapple from your hand. I can't sleep because my body is burning for you at night. I can't think straight because every thought circles back to you. I can't even imagine the future I had so carefully planned without you, and you've only just come into my life a few days ago."

"And these symptoms make you sick?"

"It hurts so much, Pippa. I mustn't act on my impulse. That's usually not so bad except that every fiber of my being pushes me to act, yet I know I mustn't…I wouldn't allow it." Nick paused.

"You don't want me?"

"I want you so much, Pippa, you don't know how. But if I let myself have you, I'll ruin you. I'm bad for you, Pippa. And the last thing I'd ever do in the world is to hurt you. I swore the Hippocratic oath: First, do no harm."

Pippa gave him a serious stare. "I'm not your patient, and I'm not a disease. And it seems that being with me could hurt you much more."

"That's not what I said."

She held her hand out to stop him. "Wait! I'm also not like the others, the haughty aristocrats who think that being with a commoner could somehow be a crime. My grandmother was a commoner, did you know that? Believe me, there're some gentlemen and ladies who are not so nice once you get to know them."

Nick stifled a laugh. She was unbelievably well bred, yet her mind was sharper, and her wit had more humor than Socrates combined with Shakespeare's.

"Plus," she continued, "whether you may or may not touch me is my decision alone. My father has long lost his say to control my life. In fact, I have more than enough money to look out for my future, my children, and their children. And heed my words, I know very well that it's improper that I brought you here. What else was I supposed to do to make you seduce me?"

"Ah…" Her patronizing tone was unbelievably alluring, and he wanted nothing more than to simply oblige, kiss her senseless, compromise her thoroughly, and more. But he was so far below her station, he knew that it was a double infringement, seducing a virgin—even though he'd let her believe that she was seducing him—and touching a well-bred lady. He sighed. How could he not though?

"Yes! I want you to! And if a dashing and talented young doctor like you might consider showing me what Violet talked about, I want it. I don't care if the Ton approves or my father and Wife Six, whichever hole in the ground she crawled out of but it wasn't a respectable family, I know that for a fact. So what gives them the right to keep me locked up and miserable when I could be happy with you?"

"Wait! Happy with me?"

She nodded heatedly.

Nick had trouble following her speech because it sounded as though she felt inferior to him. That was absurd. "Who's Violet?"

"What?"

"You said that Violet talked about something I should show you? I don't know any Violets."

"Violet is the Countess of Langley. Her husband had surgery. I visited them yesterday, and he appeared to have recovered. He knows Nurse Wendy, so I thought you were his doctor."

Nick pinched his lips. It was true, but he mustn't breach his patient's confidentiality. If the earl told Pippa, that was another story. He could neither confirm nor deny that he was his treating doctor, which he was, of course.

"What did Violet say to you?" he finally asked.

"Argh… she boasted about how her new husband kissed her."

So it had worked, the young countess had nursed the earl back to health and their relationship had blossomed. Good.

"You know, not on her mouth but down there ."

What?

Pippa continued, "She said he sent her spiraling into realms of rainbows and stars where she lost her mind. Apparently, they've had to stay in bed for days so he could show her all his tricks."

Nick choked on the air that didn't reach his lungs, but Pippa hadn't finished.

"Violet has always had a tendency for drama. I can't imagine that the earl can make her feel like that."

"I can." Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "Is that why you wanted to ask me earlier?"

Pippa paused. "Yes," she said suddenly in a mousy voice.

Oh, this was going to be fun. Nick's heart lurched, and he tried to stifle the grin that was bubbling within him.

He cleared his throat. "Let me make sure I understand you correctly. You want me to do something that Violet's husband did to her, because you expect that I know then how to make these rainbows and stars happen if I kiss you…" He didn't dare speak the words.

"Down there," Pippa completed his sentence and dropped her head again. Nick was flabbergasted. He mustn't admit it to keep his patient's confidentiality, but judging from the Earl of Langley's experience, he had a rather thorough picture of what his wife had told Pippa. "Do you know what she was talking about?" Pippa asked tentatively.

"Yes."

"And have you done it before?" Pippa asked with such sweet innocence that Nick didn't know how to react. His breeches were so painfully restricting his erection, and yet he was frozen on the spot. In his dream, he'd… he'd… oh boy.

"Not that, exactly."

She exhaled and slumped. "Oh."

Nick gave up and let the smile come out. He beamed at her. "It would be an honor to give it a try. I know the rest rather well."

Pippa's eyes darted to him and sparkled. "You would try? With me?"

"Well, I did study general anatomy for a while. Physiology… I specialized in the eye later on at university." He raised his brows and gave the most rakish "what can I say" shrug because it was true; he knew what she wanted and was more than willing to try. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for the woman of my dreams."

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you," she said.