Chapter Ten

"Yet patience isn't where I shine. I need to know when and how things will happen…" Her words died as she stared at him with moisture-spiked lashes, her eyes dark blue pools that offered him a temporary respite from all he struggled with.

"That is understandable, but for the moment, take a breath, find a bit of peace, then you can start again with trying to save the world." That determination to help everyone endeared her to him even further.

Cora nodded. "Everything is a mess, Peregrine…" Her swallow was audible. "It's not fair."

"Life was never supposed to be fair, I think. Challenges are there to teach us, guide us, strengthen us." He cupped her cheek and wiped at the tears lingering there. "We must meet those challenges the best we can."

"Then what happens?" She nuzzled into his palm, and he rejoiced at the trust she showed.

"You must find a way to make it through until the storms clear and it's smooth sailing once more." Daring much, he drew the pad of his thumb along her lower lip. "That's what you're doing now in finally shedding those pent-up feelings."

"Who will catch me if I fail… in everything?"

It was a question he couldn't answer. He didn't have that right, but he desperately wished to. "Once the cleansing is done, you'll have a new outlook on life. Perhaps you'll finally find happiness and peace. That is something we all hope for. I am no exception."

"Perry…" She appeared so lost that his protective instincts welled. "I need you to catch me," she whispered, and another tear fell. "At least in this moment. Remind me I'll come out right if I let go, if I don't try so hard to save my family. I'm so weary…"

There was only so much willpower a man could tap into before he broke. "Shh, it will be all right." Peregrine crushed his lips to hers in a savage kiss that told her in no uncertain terms he wanted her. In that moment, they were more well-matched than they'd ever been. By the time he wrenched away, they were both breathless. He sought her gaze with his. "This afternoon, here with me, there is no right or wrong. You don't have to remain strong if you don't wish it."

"I want to pretend we're not at odds, to forget what our lives might have been like if we were never ripped apart." She tugged his shirttail from his trousers and then shoved her hands beneath his shirt. The heat of her seared his skin, ignited his blood. His body caught fire and was fueled by the stark want in the blue depths of her eyes. "I only need you."

It was folly to give in. Everything would change between them yet again, but if a quick coupling would help rid her of the residual anger, the confusion…

"Ah, Cora." He could never resist her. Would that this tryst brought them closer instead of putting them further at odds, and he hoped the trust she extended would continue. Peregrine embraced her, kissed her hard so there were no doubts of how much he desired her. Over and over, he devoured her mouth as if she'd evaporate into the air. She did the same, gave as good as she got, and soon they were panting, hands searching, fingers trailing over familiar skin, lost to the heat between them.

As desire overrode common sense, he carried her to the desk and deposited her on it. "Are you certain this is what you want?" Shadows played over her face, hiding the emotions in her eyes, while the rain sounded rhythmically outside.

"Yes." She tugged him closer, her grip sure. "Tucked away here, no one will know so there will not be scandal, and with you, it'll be amazing."

The honesty in her words fed his ego as he settled between her already splayed legs. "I have waited long to reunite with you in this way." With a hand at her back, he pleasured her breasts, sucking the hardened nubs of her nipples through the fabric of her dress. Her soft cries of enjoyment spurred him onward, and when that wasn't enough, he manipulated the laces at the back of her dress. When the bodice gaped, he gladly tugged it down then spent a few seconds freeing her perfect breasts from the clothing.

"Touch me, Perry." The whispered plea near drove him to the brink of insanity. "Show me you still desire me instead of someone younger like Miss Beaufort."

He snorted. "She doesn't hold a candle to you." Then he availed himself of her charms. The warmth of her breasts in his hands was both familiar and erotic. While he kneaded that flesh, worried the nipples with the pads of his thumbs, Cora plucked at his cravat, doing her best to loosen it, tug it a bit free so she could access the skin behind it. The heat of her lips there, coupled with the feel of her in his hands, had hot need streaking through his shaft.

"I don't trust words any longer." She pulled him closer, dragged her lips beneath his jaw.

"Sooner or later, you will need to be brave, take the chance, and give someone the benefit of the doubt." But he understood her continuing reserve.

"If there was a guarantee I wouldn't be hurt…" Her words dissolved into a moan, for he'd taken one of her nipples into his mouth, worried that tip with his tongue before suckling it. "Mmm, yes." A shuddering sigh left her throat, and she slightly arched her back, which put her breasts more firmly into his care. When he rolled her other nipple from root to tip, the sounds of pleasure she made went straight to his stones.

"The human condition practically means being hurt, but there is also the promise of unfettered joy, so I would say the risk is worth the reward." He returned to her lips, kissed her with such intent that he hoped it would relieve her immediate fears, and when he sought out her tongue with his, she returned the embrace with enthusiasm.

"Joy would be lovely…" Then she gave up the effort of talking in favor of kissing various portions of his face, neck, or chest.

For the next few moments, Peregrine lost himself in her body, her lips, her very being. She welcomed him and it was like coming home, as if being away in the navy had been worth it, for she was his prize.

By the time she reached for his frontfalls, his length was engorged to the point of pain. "I haven't been with any other man since you."

The confession both stoked his need but had another wave of protection welling for her. "Then I hope I won't disappoint you this time." As his member sprang from his breeches, he paused long enough to appreciate Cora in all her glory. Skin flushed, legs parted, skirting rucked up to her hips, eyes shining, she looked the part of a woman far gone in lust.

And his heart squeezed from the image.

"Why do you hesitate?" A frown turned her kiss swollen lips downward. "I've dreamed of this, ever since that one time in the meadow."

"Truth be told, I have kept the image of you in my mind. It kept me company, haunted my thoughts during those long nights at sea." Then her words sank into his passion-soaked brain. She dreamed of him, of them, doing this? Desire for her spiked. Circumstances weren't ideal but taking her on the desk would have to do. He couldn't very well carry her up the stairs, for he didn't even have a proper bed up there.

"At least there was that and I wasn't forgotten."

"Leaving you behind was the greatest mistake of my life; I never forgot you." There was no more time for preliminaries, for he needed her now. Peregrine shoved up yards of her skirting, and when she was bared to his gaze, he gripped her hips and brought her forward until she balanced on the edge of the desk. "Ah, Cora, I don't take this concession lightly." As passion drove his instincts, he kissed her, delved a hand between her thighs, and as the heat of her glided over his skin, he coaxed the button at her center out of hiding, and she gasped.

"It's been too long; I won't last." She wriggled from his ministrations, constantly clutched at his shoulders in an effort to hold him closer. "This is better than when I touch myself."

Bloody hell, she pleasures herself?

"What?"

On the heels of a strained giggle, she kissed him. "Can I help it if I needed a release, craved it at times, and you weren't there?"

The thought of that filled his mind, pushed him far too close to the edge. With his shaft pulsing, Peregrine rubbed his fingertips over that pearl with varying degrees of fiction, and true to her warning, Cora's breath shallowed. She threw back her head, levered herself on one arm while holding onto his nape with her other hand.

"Ah!" When she tumbled into bliss, twin spots of color blazed on her cheeks. A semi-stifled scream left her throat while she dug her nails into the fabric of his jacket.

It was incredibly erotic, and he couldn't wait any longer to claim her. Swift and hard, Peregrine kissed her, and at the same time found her center with the tip of his member, and then thrust with authority, penetrating her, and didn't stop until he was fully sheathed in her honeyed heat. "Oh, God," he whispered against her lips. "I have missed this—you."

"I know that feeling all too well." She clutched at his forearm. Need mirrored in her eyes. "Don't hold back."

He nodded. It had been a long time indeed since he'd been with a woman. Such a thing hadn't been a priority while in the navy, and when he'd returned to London, his time had been spent recovering from his injuries. But now, with Cora, it was raw, and real, and right, as if he'd been waiting for this exact moment.

As if fate was giving him a promise of sorts.

His thrusts were frantic, hard, and deep. At one point, he paused inside her merely to enjoy the blissful sensations of being that deeply connected to her. Cora held his head between her hands, brought his forehead to hers, and kissed him like a woman desperate for the very air he breathed. He kissed her back, of course, for how could he not? It was as if he'd never parted from her, as if that gulf had never been formed.

Then, he straightened as urgency compelled him to finish, for he had already passed the point of no return. He held her hips, the outside of her thighs in an effort to go as deep as he could, to claim her and tell her without words that everything would be right as rain, stroking over and over into this woman who'd managed to upend his life again.

All too soon his stones drew tight and hot pleasure rushed through his length. He ignored everything while he thrust quicker and faster. When she broke with a cry upon her lips and tears in her eyes, he kissed her, taking most of the sound into himself as he plunged into an intense release that left him shattered and sated. "Cora…" He ground his pelvis into hers to prolong the sensations, to continue feeling the fluttering of her body around his, but the act was over, even if he wasn't ready to let her go.

"Dear heavens, I had forgotten how potent you are," she said, and her lips brushed his. "So satisfying if quick."

His limbs shook as she clung to him. "My apologies. It has been an age since I coupled with a woman." Wanting to hold her, to prolong that cocoon around them, he picked her up, carried her to the other side of the small room where he fell into a sheet-covered leather winged-back chair. It would be where he relaxed between working hours, where he would enjoy a cuppa. Then he cradled her on his lap, her legs hanging over one side. In the aftermath, when his pulse pounded and the flutter of hers danced beneath his fingertips and their frantic breathing slowly calmed, the guilt snuck in once more.

I never should have left her.

One of her hands curled about his nape. Her ragged breathing steamed his ear, but the warmth of her against his chest, the smell of her in his nose lulled him into a state of complacency. Now, more than ever, Peregrine was convinced they belonged together, and what was more, the love he'd once had for her flew out of the box he'd tucked it into, and it blazed to life even stronger than it had been before.

For many moments, they remained in silence as he held her close, and in those precious seconds, he knew what perfection felt like. But at his core, he was a gentleman. "I suppose I should apologize. That wasn't well done of me even if I heartily enjoyed myself."

"There is no need. We both wanted this—needed it. For forgiveness, for closure perhaps."

He remained silent, for that sounded all too final.

Eventually, Cora roused. She caught his gaze as she tugged her bodice back into place. "For my sanity, we can't come together like this anymore, Perry."

"Why?" They were perfectly matched. "This was amazing. It reminded me of everything I ever wanted when I stupidly gave it up to keep you from grief, when I wasn't… ready."

"Yes, I agree it was a wonderful tryst." She sighed. "But you know why we can't continue in this vein."

He frowned even as part of him rejoiced that she felt that connection between them as well. "I don't understand. You wanted this coupling."

"I did." Shadows haunted her eyes. "I'm not strong enough to lose you again." Finality rang in her voice. "Where it angered me before, I fear it would break me this time."

His heart constricted. "I won't leave. This I promise you."

"You said that before."

"Now I mean it. I'm not going anywhere."

For long moments she peered into his eyes before dropping her gaze. "I fear that I'm not worthy enough of you, and I'm certainly not free. Not while my family is in dire straits. I should always have to take a paid position."

"I will take care of you. We will have enough." After everything, would he lose her?

"You know how impossible it will be to butt heads with Mrs. Bromington, and I don't wish to sneak around merely to see you. That seems wrong somehow."

"But—"

"Stop, Peregrine." Gently, she pressed her index finger over his lips. "I mustn't go home in defeat when Papa needs all the coin I can spare. Because of that, I have no time to invite a man into my life as a distraction."

"Though I can't help but think a distraction is a good thing, I will support you." He grabbed her hand and then kissed the back of it. "Give me a chance, Cora. We both can survive anything if we have each other. Let me give you a new courtship—a summertime courtship. Remember how lovely our last time courting was?"

"But, I—"

"And if, during that time, you adamantly find that deep down in your heart things simply won't work between us, I will bow out as a gentleman, leave you to your life while I go about mine, but don't shut me out merely because you're frightened and feeling trapped."

"Oh, why do you do such things to me, when I don't know my own mind?" She laid her head on his chest and sighed.

"Does that mean you give permission for me to pay my addresses to you?" He wasn't about to declare defeat. That wasn't who he was.

A tiny huff escaped her. "You will have a bad time of it with Mrs. Bromington."

"In the navy I'd been in tighter coils than this. It is only a matter of finding an appropriate weakness to wage my campaign." Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he wrapped his arms around her. "You deserve your own life, Cora, else you will be forever toiling for everyone else."

"I shall give you until mid-June. If I haven't fallen back into love with you by then, you'll need to square with the fact that fate doesn't want us together."

It was more than he had this morning. "Since you have obviously underestimated me, I can't wait to show you the second time 'round for us is better than the first, and I won't need that long. Mark my words."

He would fight any number of dragons and pockets-to-let parents to gain the life he had always wanted—with her.