38. Unexpected Help

Idid my best to reign in all my emotions when I talked to Dante. My first intuition was to lash out at someone, but seeing Dante so distraught and guilty put things into perspective for me. I'm so relieved now that in that first moment of shock and horror I didn't yell at him.

I think it would have broken him, and no matter what happens, I want to be the last person to hurt him.

Charlie needs me level-headed, too, not just him.

Once Dante leaves the video call to go look for Charlie, I turn to Julianus. "You were saying?" I ask calmly. "You want to help?"

I stare at the man in front of me, unsure if I can trust him. I've only been here for two days. That's barely enough time to judge someone's character, especially when I am in the lair of a person who's been said to be evil. Candy's letter clearly states that Aloysius isn't her father, but will he believe me?

"I…" Julianus's lips tremble slightly, and unexpected tears fill his eyes.

"You can't still be drunk?" Aryanna mutters.

Julianus rubs over his teary eyes. "I just miss him so much," he blurts out.

"Him?" I ask confused. "Who do you miss?"

His body is shaking like he is suppressing his sobs, but other than that he isn't moving at all. It's eerily quiet until—"Silas," he says quietly, yet his voice trembles.

I open my mouth to say something, but no sound comes out. Aryanna looks equally dumbfounded and just looks at Julianus. "Excuse me?" I mutter. "Did you say what I think you said?"

"Silas was," Julianus says. "Everything to me."

"Wait a moment, Lord Silas was the person you wanted as your beloved and the one who left you," I say.

"Yes," he mutters.

I frown while I look at him. "What did you do?" I ask.

"Why do you think I did something?" he mutters.

"Isn't it obvious? Clearly Silas is a respectable person. He left because his brother was a murderer. He left behind his old life, his luxury, everything he had, and rebuilt his life. That's what I call respectable," I say.

"You know him?" Julianus says, shocked. He removes his hands from his face, looking at me now.

"Sit back down," I tell him. "Tell me what you know and why you want to help, and then Aryanna and I will consider if we trust you or not."

Very conflicted here, Aryanna links me. Even if his story is going to be heart-wrenching, how can we trust him?

He might be our best chance to convince Aloysius.

You think showing him the letter won't do? she asks.

I believe if we have someone who can vouch for it to be true, then he will accept it easier.

"Alright," I say when Julianus is sitting again. "Now tell us what happened."

He licks his lips, shaking his head slightly. "It's my fault, like you said," he admits. "I wanted him as my beloved."

"And he didn't?" Aryanna asks when Julianus falls into silence.

"No, he did too," he says, surprising me once more. My mind goes back to Silas and Marcellus. I usually don't pay much attention to other people's relationships because they are none of my business, but it's obvious that something's going on. There was an air of comfort and gentleness around them and understanding.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Everything was going well," he says. "Between us, but also in the coven. However, Silas was getting more restless. I didn't know what was going on with him. Sometimes he looked sad, sometimes angry, sometimes torn. He was conflicted, that was for sure."

Must have been around the time he planned on leaving his brother.

"Didn't you ask?" Aryanna wants to know.

"At first I didn't. I wanted to give him the space he needed, but it started to affect our relationship."

"Hm." I nod. "I can understand that."

"So, eventually he gave in. Said he didn't want to involve me and endanger me," Julianus explains. "And then he told me… told me some unbelievable things, like"—he pauses—"I can't even say what he said."

"Something like his brother and co-leader killing a newborn baby?" I ask shortly.

Julianus's mouth drops open and he stares at me, shell-shocked. "So…" He swallows thickly, a hint of sorrow in his eyes. "So, it's true?"

"You didn't believe him?" Aryanna asks. "Your own chosen lover, your beloved?"

"It was a horrible thing he said," Julianus exclaims. "It was completely crazy."

"I don't know. If my mate came to me, clearly unsettled and bothered, and told me such a story, I wouldn't shut her down," Aryanna says. "Even if it was unbelievable, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and at least research to verify her claims."

"Let me guess, you didn't do that?" I mutter. "Did you tell him you didn't believe him?"

"I voiced my doubts," he admits. "But not too clearly. I waited for him to tell me what he had planned so I could stop him."

Silas had plans. He hinted at it but didn't go into detail during our visit. I'm taking a wild guess now that his plans failed due to his almost-beloved crossing him.

"What did he plan?" Aryanna asks.

"He wanted to bring Aloysius down," Julianus says. "He can't kill him, but he wanted to dethrone him. He had an elaborate plan, one that would need months of preparation, but Silas is very intelligent and cunning. I could see him succeeding."

"Goddess," I say sadly. "What did you do? Tell Aloysius about it?"

Julianus's silence is all I need to hear to know what he did. The unpreventable fallout between Aloysius and Silas happened the way it did because Silas's lover betrayed him. How very cliché, how very sad, how infuriating. I'm not surprised that Silas didn't talk about it. "I wanted to protect him," Julianus hurries to defend himself. "I thought he was going crazy. I thought telling Aloysius would make him see sense again."

"You need to stop lying to yourself. You didn't want to protect Silas," I say quietly. "You wanted to protect your comfortable life and didn't want to see the uncomfortable truth. You said yourself that Aloysius likes to keep his bloodline clean. You mentioned his obsession and how the coven deteriorated after Silas left. Isn't that proof enough for you that maybe your former lover didn't lie?"

Julianus stays quiet before pain flashes through his eyes. "I know," he blurts out. "I know it's my fault. I should have trusted him, but I was too much of a coward to do it. I thought if I told Aloysius, Silas would be forced to stay, and things would return to normal."

Aryanna and I stay silent, not sure what to say.

"I lost him," Julianus says sadly. "Silas wasn't able to dethrone Aloysius, but he left nevertheless, with the few of his supporters that weren't killed. I tried to stop him but he knew what I did. The worst part is that he wasn't even angry, just disappointed. He… he actually offered me to leave with him."

"Oh fuck," Aryanna groans. "This is getting really depressing. Seeing how you are here, we know you didn't."

"I had a lot of reasons not to. I even tried to convince Silas once more to stay," he says. "But now I know I was just scared. Once Silas left, nothing here made sense to me anymore. I just lived on here without having any joy." He pauses. "I should have left with Silas. That's my biggest regret. That and sabotaging his plan."

"And how do you want to help us now?" I want to know.

"I saw that Ambrosius was mentioned in the letter from your niece," he says, surprising me. When I look at him confused, he smiles crookedly. "Vampires have particularly good eyesight." He pauses. "Ambrosius was Silas's and Aloysius's cousin. A great man. Everyone liked him." He pauses. "Aloysius has the ability to lure someone into his aura. It makes one spill the truth and everything that lies in your soul. I know that Ambrosius was secretly seeing this werewolf woman. I… I actually helped him forge her passport."

"What!?" I exclaim. "On one side, you backstab your lover, and on the other, you help a friend?"

"It was after Silas left, and I realized what I had lost," he says quietly. "I was selfish. Silas really liked his cousin. I thought helping him might give me a chance to get back with him."

"And now? What do you plan on achieving now?" Aryanna wants to know.

"Ambrosius was Silas's cousin," Julianus says. "Your niece is also related to him."

"You want to get in his good graces again?" I ask.

"No," he says quietly. "I know that chance passed long ago. At this point I just want to find a way to look at myself in the mirror again. Whatever it takes."

What do you think? Aryanna links me.

Honestly? He fucked up with Silas, but he was honest with us about how much he messed up. That's good enough for me.

"So, what's the plan?" Aryanna asks him.

Julianus shrugs. "Simple. I will take the letter to Lord Aloysius and confirm its contents."

"You helped Candy escape," I say. "Won't that put you in danger?"

"Possibly," he says but shrugs. "I don't care. Send me a copy of the letter. And I will go to Aloysius immediately."

I do as he said, sending him a copy of the letter I got from Dante. "Good," I say, hoping I'm not making the wrong decision. Julianus already backstabbed his beloved once… his mate… and we are just two strangers to him, two wolves on top of that. But for now, he is our best bet. "Meanwhile Ari and I will pack our things. We will leave once you make sure Aloysius knows Charlie isn't his daughter. Do you think he will truly let us leave?"

"I don't know," he says. "He is unpredictable. His orders were clear that he doesn't want a war with the lycans, hence, to let you go whenever he knows the truth."

"Let's hope he sticks to this plan," I mutter.

"Try to wait here," Julianus says. "If I survive, I will help you get out of here."

I watch him leave with mixed feelings. People fuck up sometimes, people make mistakes, and they deserve a chance, but boy, Julianus is basically the reason Aloysius is still going strong. Granted that Aloysius's actions aren't Julianus's fault. I've learned that things aren't that simple usually. There are many factors that keep Aloysius in power and many factors that led to Silas's plan failing, but it's a fact that Julianus contributed to the part that kept Aloysius going.

I wonder what kind of life he lived after Silas left. Seeing how he was in Silas's circle of close friends, he probably lost it all. His friends either died or left with Silas. His love was lost. They were supposed to be each other's beloved, but that ship sailed, obviously.

I shake my head.

The guilt has to be eating him up all this time.

"What are we going to do?" Aryanna asks quietly. "It's so fucked up."

I think for a moment. My first impulse would be to return to Red Claw ASAP and help Charlie, but Dante is right… I need to help Charlie here first and get Aloysius off our asses. But I don't have forever to achieve it.

"We give him a couple of hours," I say. "But not any longer. I want to be back at Red Claw by the evening."