31. Mates?

When Livia claimed she took up a nice smell, literally all of us halt our movements. This can only mean one thing. All of us are mated, except for…

We turn to look at Silas, who just snorts. "It's not me," he says, amusement on his face. I don't know what he finds so funny, but there is no time to ask further. There are rumors that he and Alpha Marcellus are mates, so maybe that's why.

"Well then, Livia, if you still smell him, then he has to be somewhere close," Annie says. "Let's look for him."

"But… work…" she mutters.

"We can spare five minutes," Liam agrees.

I normally don't have any business with someone else finding their mates. I believe this is a private issue, but seeing how I still need Livia's help, I decide to tag along. Raffy excuses himself to go to his training. He is one of our elites, but we never take him along for questioning prisoners. He is a very gentle soul, and neither Liam nor I want to put this pressure on him.

Liam, Silas, and Annie follow Livia and me, though, mainly because they are heading the same way.

"It's getting stronger," Livia exclaims, eyeing a staircase that leads to the third floor.

It's then that Liam seems to get more interested, very much to my surprise. Just like me, he believes in giving mates privacy.

I better come with her, he says.

Why? I ask.

A feeling, he says quietly.

Silas and Annie stay behind, although Liam and Annie exchange a short gaze. Soon I realize what Liam's worry was about. Livia halts in front of the door to one of the guestrooms. It's Richie's room.

"Who stays in there?" she asks, eyeing the guards positioned in front of the door. "Why is he guarded?"

"Richard is staying here," I say. "He is not a prisoner, though. Not really."

"That's the guy who spied on you and Charlie?" she asks, and I can see the disappointment in her eyes. It breaks my heart. She went through so much; she deserves to be happy to find her mate.

"Livia," Liam says earnestly. "I'm not going to force you to a decision, but Richard helped us willingly. He was groomed and taken advantage of by an older woman who knew he grew up with an abusive mother. I doubt he saw much kindness while growing up, and he probably was easy prey for a perpetrator. But he really did everything to help us once he found out the truth. It's thanks to him that we got a few clues."

A whole turmoil seems to happen in her eyes, then she lowers her head. "I know how it feels to think you are not worthy of anything. To be a victim. It's a shitty feeling."

"What do you want to do?" I ask her.

"He helped you?" she asks in return.

"The moment he knew what was going on, he was horrified," I explain. "He is only guarded here because we don't know what to do with him. He is a human, and we don't feel it's safe for him to return to town. They might be out to kill him and get rid of him as he is a witness."

In her eyes I can see a flash of anger at mentioning how someone might be out to kill her mate. She still seems to be torn until someone from the kitchen staff approaches us with a plate in her hands.

"Why don't you bring him the food?" Liam says.

"Can I?" she asks hopefully.

I smile secretly at her eagerness. She might have been disappointed at first glance, but the joy of meeting her mate probably outweighs her negative feelings. It's not going to be an easy journey for either of them, though, but who knows? Livia wouldn't be Livia if she didn't give someone a chance. She was bullied as a teen, and it scarred her deeply and left her with a savior complex.

Livia takes the plate from the kitchen member, smiling at her, before getting serious again and turning to the guards. "You better not touch him," she mutters.

To my amusement, the two guards seem genuinely shocked by her assumption. "He is a human. We would never attack him," one of them says.

"And he helped design the birthday invitation for my daughter," the other said.

"Yeah, Jun mentioned that you all ask him for help with this kind of stuff," I say, amused. Liam gave his okay once Stella cleared him of all our suspicions. He had no idea what else to do with the kid, so he organized a notebook for him, which we keep an eye on in case he reaches out to someone and lets him work on his design projects.

He has something to do that way, and some pack members benefit from it.

"Just wanted to make sure," Livia says.

"You have half an hour," Liam tells her. "Then I expect you to meet Dante at the beta suite. I can't give you more time than that, but you may return to your mate once you are done with your tasks." He pauses. "I understand this is a tricky situation, Livia. If things go well, I might consider allowing you to go for a walk with him, but for now, you can only meet in this guest suite."

"I understand, Alpha," she says. "Thank you for giving me this opportunity."

I never had high expectations of finding my mate. My peers all dreamed of finding theirs, imagining the most romantic ways of meeting. I'm not romantic at all, so I never cared about that part. Admittedly, realizing my mate was a prisoner of my pack—although Beta Dante and Alpha Liam told me it's just a technicality—is even below my nonexistent expectations.

But I still want to see him. At least one time.

My wolf urges me forward, and Alpha Liam gave his okay after all. He actually said we could even go for a walk eventually. Does he believe I will start dating this guy? I couldn't care less about him being a human, but man, talk about a horrible first impression.

I didn't know what I expected when I entered the room with the plate of freshly made lasagna, but certainly not this handsome cutie pie. He has light brown hair, a bit messy—looks like a bird's nest—a beautiful face with soft features and light brown eyes.

He is sitting in front of his notebook, looking up when he sees me. "Oh," he says, flushing slightly.

Awesome, he probably thinks I suck. I'm not particularly pretty or have any stunning features. "I'm sorry," I say, trying to keep my cool. "You probably expected someone else."

"No. No, not at all," he says, looking away shyly like he is about to die from embarrassment. "It's a nice change from the guy who normally brings me my food."

I put the plate on the table next to the window, looking around the room. It's spacious and pretty nice. Alpha Liam wouldn't give such a room to someone who he truly deemed dangerous. "Why did you do it?" I hear myself ask.

Oh wow, awesome, Livia, way to make an impression.

Richard looks at me shortly, but to my surprise, he catches on instantly. "I… I wanted to belong," he says quietly. "And she promised me a home. I thought I could finally show my worth."

I swear, my wolf growls. He better not simp for that creepy bitch who groomed him.

"She just used me," he says.

"You knew?" I ask, sitting down at the edge of his bed.

"I had a feeling," he admits.

"And you never decided to act on said feelings?" I ask.

He looks down at his hands. "Have you ever felt that urge inside you that you need to prove your worth? That no one ever looks at you and sees you."

My thoughts go back to my high school years and how I was bullied there. The thought still terrifies me. Fear used to fill me back then, and it slowly got replaced by anger later on. But back in the day, I would have done everything to belong. "I do," I admit. "I know how it feels." I pause. "They caught her," I say. "Your girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend," he emphasizes, although he looks sad when he says it. There is a hint of bitterness and anger in his tone too. "I'm not that stupid and certainly not pathetic enough to still want her. Imogen… She wanted to kill an innocent child. And who knows who she has already killed throughout the past years." He pauses. "She probably planned on killing me too. Well," he says bitterly. "I'm an idiot. If it weren't for Alpha Liam and Dave, I would have probably never realized what was going on."

Okay, he stopped simping, my wolf says in relief. I don't need to kill someone to get them out of the way.

Goddess, can you stop sounding so creepy?

What. She frowns. Don't tell me you weren't thinking about doing that too.

I ignore her but secretly feel relieved that he isn't defending Imogen and her crew. "She used you," I say quietly.

"That's no excuse for falling for all of her schemes. Just because she was nice to me."

Oddly enough, I can sympathize with him. I know how it feels not to have anyone in your corner and to fend for yourself, and believe you are at fault for all the bad things happening to you. I believed something was wrong with me because everyone bullied me in school. I thought it was on me and not on them.

Luna Annalise helped me change schools, and my dad encouraged me to join the warrior training. I had family and my pack members helping me.

He apparently had no one.

We both stay silent for a while before I gesture towards his notebook. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh." He smiles and suddenly turns much livelier. "Alpha Liam was so kind to let me do some work here. I do photography as a hobby and wanted to work on some pictures."

"That's a pretty cool hobby."

"I can show you some of my work," he offers.

I nod my agreement. I don't want to feel too much for this guy, but I can't help my heart fluttering slightly when he suddenly turns from gloomy to bubbly. Richie shows me the pictures he is working on. He even made some out of the window of his room, reassuring me that it was all approved. I'm pretty sure Beta Dante has spyware on this notebook, so I don't question him. To my surprise he seems to be very good at what he is doing.

"These are beautiful," I say in awe when he shows me how he is editing them.

"I wish I had a person to pose for me," he says before he eyes me. "Someone like you."

"What!?" I exclaim. "I'm not model material."

"I think you're perfect," he hurries to say, suddenly getting into his idea. "I don't know what it is, but I feel almost connected to you. Like I've known you for a long while already. I know exactly how I would photograph you."

"I would probably look ugly," I mutter, though part of me feels happy he feels the mate bond. He probably doesn't know what it is, but he does feel it. I'm still not sure if I want to get into this. The alpha was right; he isn't a bad guy, not at all. He was just an unfortunate victim. But he is a human and was hurt so much already. I'm not sure if I want to help him.

You are not sure if you can, my wolf tells me, glaring at me. Not if you want.

That's the same, I say.

No, it's not, she huffs.

Okay, you are right. I don't know if I can help him. The alpha said he grew up with an abusive mom.

And? My wolf demands to know. We grew up bullied. And look at us now.

Deep inside, there is a small part of me, a reminder of my past when I was still bullied. I'm hiding this part of me, burying it deep in my mind, but it's there. It feeds my insecurities. It makes me distrust everyone around me aside from a few chosen people.

This part never healed.

My wolf looks ready to fight me if I chicken out of this. I still don't know what to do or how to go about this, but I know I don't want to let the scared girl in me win.

"Don't you want to know my name?" I ask. "Before you force me to be your model."

Richard turns deep red at my comment. "You are right, I'm sorry. I don't even know…" he pauses. "Let me introduce myself. I'm Richard. And you are?"

"Livia," I say. "Or Livi."

He smiles shyly. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise." I pause. "I have to go back to work," I tell him reluctantly. "My alpha and beta are expecting me."

"Oh," he says, looking sad. "Will you come back?"

Fuck, what am I even doing here?

"I will be working until late at night, but we can meet tomorrow for lunch," I say.

He smiles. "I'm looking forward to it."