2. Family

"Look at you," Dave's cheerful voice greets me when I attend breakfast in the packhouse. Dante left before me and got breakfast on the way as he needed to head out with Alpha Liam and his second beta, Aryanna, for a business meeting with another alpha. "You look spent! In the best way possible."

I roll my eyes at him but accept the cup of coffee he offers me. Dave's a human, and Annie's and my best friend. We all went to school together and bonded over time. Recently, he was fated to a werewolf, and they both moved to our pack.

"Are you jealous?" I ask.

"Absolutely," Dave pouts. "Raffy has been on patrol for most of the night, which means less time he could spend with his dashing hot mate!"

Before I can answer, I see Annie approaching us. Her gamma, Jun, is right behind her and carries one of the twin girls. "She looks tired too," I say quietly to Dave.

"Yeah," he mutters. "Two babies are no joke, especially when they grow so fast. Werewolf genes are amazing."

He is right. The twins aren't even a year old yet, but they are already more active than human babies would be.

"Everything alright?" I ask Annie when she sits down.

"Yes," she says. "Just a tough night. Asteria didn't fall asleep at all, and then Aurora got fussy too."

"Please tell me our hot alpha is helping you," Dave says.

"Of course." She smiles. "He snatched Aurora and tried to get her back to sleep while I stayed with Asteria."

"I will fetch you your breakfast, Luna," Jun says, looking a bit worried.

"That would be lovely. Thank you, Jun."

I feel my sense of duty kick in instantly. My bond to Annie as her friend is strong, but my bond to her as a beta to her luna is even stronger. "I will grab something for the girls, or did they get back to accepting your milk?"

"They both refuse to be breastfed," Annie says. "Thanks, Ella. The kitchen should have already prepared their bottles and some baby food."

Dave stays to entertain Annie and the girls while Jun and I hurry away to grab everything Annie needs. The kitchen is indeed prepared, and I am handed two bottles and some mashed veggie-potato mix.

Babies eat this? Nefeli asks, grimacing in disgust.

They do. I grin.

I bet our babies one day won't, she says.

You think they will want medium-rare steak right from day one? I ask.

Just wait for it.

I would be extremely worried if I popped out a baby that demands a steak right away, I say. Let's just wait. When we have our own children, we'll know for certain.

We both fall into an awkward silence once we mentioned having kids of our own. It's a sore topic for both of us. One day… one day… I have just no idea when that day will be. Before I get caught in too many destructive thoughts, I return to our table and hand Annie the requested items. Jun returns shortly afterwards and brings a huge mug of coffee and plenty of food.

Annie chuckles when she eyes the humongous cup of coffee. "I have to be looking incredibly tired indeed."

"You are still the hottest bitch in the room," Dave says.

Annie snorts. "Thank you, Dave, although I know that's not true."

"What are the plans for today?" I ask her.

"I'm slowly getting back to my luna duties," Annie says. "Liam and I are looking for a nanny."

"I can help you look for one," Dave offers. "I think there are a lot of young college students in the pack who could do with the extra cash. Plus, a job for the alpha and luna always sounds good."

"He is right," I agree.

"Thanks, Dave. Are you sure you have time for it?" Annie asks.

"I have some research to do at the Council later today, but I'm free until lunch."

"I can help too," I offer.

"I told you to take the day off," Annie says. "You and Dante worked so much the last couple of weeks to fill in for Liam and me while we were with the babies."

"Don't tell me you are bored already." Dave grins at me. "Five minutes into your day off."

"No," I say. "Actually, I have plenty I want to do. Or rather should do."

Dave eyes me skeptically. "What is there you should do? It doesn't sound too exciting…"

I take a sip from my coffee, bracing myself inwardly. "I still didn't go through all my parents' belongings."

There is silence following my words, as expected. Fortunately, Annie breaks it. "Does this mean you are ready to face it now?"

"No," I admit quietly. "I think I will never be ready, but the longer I wait, the more difficult it will get."

My parents died when I was very small. They were part of a resistance group against the former alpha here, a true tyrant and psychopath. Their resistance cost them and their friends their lives… and me a childhood in peace. I'm proud of my parents for being so strong and for trying to do the right thing, but I'm mad at the same time for having been stripped of a loving family.

I grew up secluded in my pack, branded a traitor's daughter, until Annie and Liam helped to free the pack from the psycho and took over the reign.

It shouldn't be that difficult to go through the little my parents left me. It's been many years since they died, but I never had the chance to mourn them or to understand who they were and what they did.

Dante and I both have so much baggage to carry that I decided I have to work on mine now so that we can move on together.

"I can help you," Annie offers. "Or at least be your company."

"I… no…" I do want her help, especially her emotional support, but she is the luna, and she has so much on her plate already. "I can't ask that from you."

"But Dave said he will help with finding a nanny," Annie points out. "Jun has prepared a few folders with everything I missed in the last couple of months. I can take them along and read through them while you go through your things."

It sounds amazing to just have her there. "Thank you, Annie." I take the smaller of the twin girls, Aurora, into my arms and rock her a bit while Annie keeps feeding Asteria. Aurora is a bit more whiny and fussy but so adorable. Meanwhile, Asteria is Annie's and Liam's firstborn, meaning she inherited all of Liam's alpha power and is the future heir to the pack. She is a very quiet child, but not the shy kind of quiet. She is very observant.

"Look at those two princesses," Dave coos. "Makes me almost wish to have one of my own."

"Are you thinking about adopting?" I ask.

"I said almost, El," he snorts.

Jun, who has been eating his breakfast in silence up to now—he is bad with multi-tasking and small-talk—chuckles. "You say that now, Dave, but I can already envision you and Raffy with a crazy little whirlwind."

"Why don't you and Luca adopt instead?" Dave retorts.

Jun smiles. "Luca wants to finish his education first, but we aren't opposed to the idea."

"I can't believe we are having a baby talk," Dave groans. "And I can't even complain about it because I was stupid enough to start it." He nudges me now. "What about you and your sexy sugar daddy?"

"Would you not call him that?" I frown. "He isn't that much older!"

"But he is hot," he argues.

I can't possibly deny that. Dante is incredibly attractive. He is around ten years older than I am, as I'm his second-chance mate. "A baby…" I muse. "I'm not sure. I can't quite envision myself as a mom."

"I'm sure you would be a great mom," Annie says. In general, she stays out of these baby talks. She told me once she doesn't want to pressure anyone or intrude on their privacy like that.

Me as a mom… I sigh; here we are back with my destructive thoughts.

"What's wrong?" Annie asks softly. "If you don't want any children right now or ever, El, then that's okay too."

"I do," I say. "Want children."

"But?" Dave asks.

"Dante isn't ready."

"Dante?" Dave looks at me in surprise. "I thought he would be head over heels. He always says—"

"I know," I interrupt him. "I know what he says. He says he wants to have them. But the loss of his first child hit him hard. And as his mate…" I pause. "As a mate, you just know. And I know for a fact that his heart isn't ready yet." When Annie looks at me worried, I shake my head. "I don't hold it against him. What happened to him was horrible. And frankly, I meant what I said… I don't know if I would be a good mother. There is nothing nurturing about me."

"That's not true, Ella," Annie says. "You don't need to be the motherly type to become a mom. And there is plenty of nurturing about you. Just look at how you are with me and Dave and how you treat my babies. Don't sell yourself short."

I let her words sink in. I'm still not sure if I can see myself as a mother; although I want to have children, I want to be a mother. "I've never learned what it means to be loved by a parent," I admit. "I don't know what parental love is."

"But maybe this means you will have so much more to give," Dave says. "I'm with Annie on this. You do you, and if you aren't ready, that's perfectly fine. But nothing is wrong with you. You have plenty to give, and because you went through so much as a child, you will have even more love to give."

I look at my two friends, feeling all kinds of emotions. I didn't expect them to take me so seriously… and then to say all the things they said. It makes my heart warm up. I grin. "Alright, I understand. I'm awesome."

"That's the spirit." Dave beams.

You are the best, Annie links me.

They are right, Nefeli says. We might have no idea how it feels to have parents, but I'm sure we would shower our child with love!

I need to get more confident, I admit. When one day we have this talk with Dante and Sylvan, then the both of us need to be all the more confident in our ability as parents. Dante thinks he failed his first mate and their unborn pup by not protecting them. He is terrified of it happening again.

It's not that I don't understand, Nefeli says. But we are a warrior, we are a beta of this pack.

It's nothing you can beat by logic, I say. Just by patience.