Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Melody

I woke the next morning, my eyes lazily opening, and then the memory of the previous day hit me. I sat up. “Charles?”

No answer.

I turned and looked at the floor, and he was gone. The clock next to the bed read eight-thirty. Wow. I sat up and kicked my feet out of bed, taking in the size of this room. I hadn’t noticed how big it was the night before. When we were growing up, I wasn’t allowed down in Charles’s room. We’d all hung out in the main areas of the house, which were also huge, especially compared to the doll store.

Being inside Charles’s suite of rooms only emphasized how small my own room was in comparison. Ugh. I thought of the police reports we’d filed last night for the doll shop and my mother’s house. No, it was my house now. I was still getting used to the idea.

It was daunting to think about everything going on right now—the break-ins, the bills that needed to be paid, and my ex who wouldn’t pay. Plus, it was Christmas Day.

My shoulders slumped. Last Christmas had been a bust because my ex had blown it up. Now, I was spending another Christmas without my son. Without our family. I sat on the bed and covered my face.

“Hey,” Charles said, opening the door and bustling toward me with a big grin on his face.

“Hey,” I said, blinking rapidly. I was relieved to see him.

He opened his arms, and I rushed into them.

“When I woke this morning, I felt like last night was a dream,” he said, his deep voice rumbling in his chest.

“I know. I can’t believe I’m in your arms.”

He brushed a kiss against the top of my head. “I know. I know.”

Warmth bloomed in my chest, followed quickly by a stab of guilt.

As if he could sense my discomfort, he pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

I stared up into his never-ending blue eyes and felt myself relax. “It’s Christmas, and I love being with you, but I can’t help missing my son.”

He ran his fingers down my arms and then linked our hands together. “I can only imagine how hard this time of year is for you, without your son here.”

There seemed to be something he wasn’t saying. “Charles?” I asked.

He hesitated. “I told you Sheila and I tried for two years. We went to every doctor and specialist in the country. But in the end, she told me she couldn’t keep trying, because a child was more my dream than hers.”

He didn’t look at me, and I remembered how he would often look away when telling me something that was really bothering him. I gave his fingers a little squeeze. “I’m so sorry.”

He shrugged. “She was probably right. I really wanted children. Looking back, I can see how she really didn’t. I …” He swallowed and pulled away, turning toward the large windows that overlooked the backyard.

“Charles.” I moved to his side, finding it so natural to pick up his hand.

“Sorry. Maybe it’s pathetic to say this, but everyone was a substitute for you. For the life we’d always talked about sharing.” He rapidly blinked. “The children we’d talked about having.”

Touched, I slipped in front of him and pulled him into me. “I feel it too.” And I did. “Peter only wanted one child. He got a vasectomy right after I had Will. He didn’t even tell me.”

“What?” Charles jerked back and stared into my eyes. “That’s horrible.”

I nodded. “It was. I shouldn’t complain, because I have Will, but … I wanted more. I wanted lots more.”

He gave me a sad smile. “The four we always talked about.”

I sputtered out a laugh. “That’s exactly what we’d always talked about.”

“It’s what my parents had.”

For a long time, we stared at each other. Would I have another with Charles if the opportunity presented itself? I immediately pushed that thought away.

“What?” he asked softly.

“Nothing.” I wouldn’t say that. I couldn’t think that. Will was almost twenty. I would be thirty-nine this year.

Charles pulled me into another hug. I let him, relishing his touch.

“Grandmother and Hazel are waiting for us by the Christmas tree,” he told me.

Suddenly, I felt highly unprepared. “Oh no. I don’t have anything for them and …”

Charles waved a dismissive hand. “I do. You can give them gifts with me.” He began pulling me down the hall. I was wearing a modest nightgown with Christmas snowflakes on it. I would’ve protested that I needed to make myself look better, but I was still in a daze.

Charles paused in front of a room with a tightly shut door. A mischievous look washed over his face.

“What?” I asked.

“Do you want to see our freaky room?”

His grandmother walked toward us from another room. Her hair was expertly groomed, her makeup done. She gave Charles the same mischievous smile. “You’re going to go in my freaky doll room without me?”

Charles laughed.

His grandmother held her arms open to me. “How are you, child?”

It was slightly funny being called a child. I went into her arms. “I’m okay.”

She pulled back and searched my face. “We will talk later. But always know that you are welcome here. I’m so proud of you for all the things you’ve been through.”

I wasn’t sure what Charles had told her, but they had always been close. Oftentimes, when we’d been dating, we would come back to the house with the beach crew, and we would end up hanging out with her. His grandfather usually wasn’t around, but his grandmother would teach us things. She would read books with us, and we would play chess with her. She had always been a sweetheart.

Gently, she placed a hand on my arm. “I’ve missed you.” Then the mischievous look was back. “Go ahead and show her my freaky dolls.”

Charles opened the door and flipped a light switch. All four walls were lined with columns of shelves, each holding dozens of dolls.

I laughed. “Oh my goodness.” I wandered into the room and started pointing to different dolls and talking about them. “This is Mistletoe from our Christmas collection.”

“Yes, I have most of the Christmas collection, I think,” his grandmother said.

I pointed to another doll with a plaid skirt and brown hair. “This is Marianne from our school collection.” I named several others, then laughed. “My mother would absolutely love this room.”

Oh, how I missed her.

“I bet,” Charles said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

His grandmother was at my other side. “I bought these dolls from her. I’m sure she has a record of them.”

That piqued my interest. “You didn’t buy them from anyone else?”

His grandmother winked at me. “I sort of had this feeling that the shop owner’s daughter might be part of my family one day.”

Warm chills washed over me.

Charles squeezed my hand. “That’s funny.”

My cheeks flamed. Rather than dwell on it too much, I focused on the dolls, walking around the room. “I guess things don’t always work out the way you think they will.”

His grandmother slipped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into her, whispering softly, “In my experience, things usually do work out.”

Nervous energy pulsed through me, and I didn’t know what to say.

“Let’s go by the tree and have some hot cocoa and open some presents,” Charles said.

In the parlor, Hazel was sitting near the tree, knitting something. The tree was beautiful, decorated with different beach ornaments—whales and dolphins and mermaids. On closer inspection, I saw little figurines of all the brothers. There were also pictures of the family all over the tree. “I love these.”

His grandmother pointed at the tree. “Did you see a couple with the whole crew?”

I was shocked to see that several of the picture ornaments included me. I touched one that showed me tucked under Charles’s arm. How different would this Christmas be if we had stayed together?

Charles took my hand. “It’s crazy, right? That picture.”

His grandmother appeared next to us, smiling. “You guys were always a handsome couple. You still are.”

I laughed awkwardly.

“I think we are. Things just get better with time, after all.” Charles gestured to the couch. “Let’s open presents.”

Again, I felt out of sorts. “I don’t have presents for anyone. I’m sorry.”

Charles pulled me down onto the couch next to him and draped an arm around me. “We don’t expect you to have presents. These are the presents that Grandmother gives to everyone.”

His grandmother picked up a package and held it out to me. “This is something I’ve been waiting a long time to give you.” She let out a light sigh. “I don’t know how this will go over, but I’m hoping.”

Hesitantly, I began opening it, and I realized it was a Christmas quilt. “This is beautiful.” And then I saw it. Woven into the quilt were the beach pictures of us together. There were more than just a few; the quilt was big enough to cover a king bed. I was stunned. “Oh my gosh.”

Charles helped me pull it out of the wrapping paper. “Grandmother, how did you do this?”

She grinned at us. “I did it years ago. I planned to give it to you that Christmas when everything went to smithereens.”

I laughed, and my eyes stung with tears. “You were going to give this to me back then?”

She nodded. “I guess it’s better late than never.”

I turned to Charles, who looked just as shocked as me. “This is crazy.” I moved toward his grandmother and hugged her. “I love it. Thank you.”

She grinned. “I was always rooting for you two. Never forget that.”

We spent the next half hour exchanging presents. Charles’s grandmother gave him American cuff links. Hazel was given a Christmas quilt as well, although hers wasn’t twenty years old. We all had hot chocolate, and then we read the Bible story about Jesus’s birth.

There were so many emotions swirling within me that I felt out of sorts. I was in shock, I realized. This was the life I should’ve had, the life I had grieved for a long time.

Finally, I stood and picked up the quilt. “I’ll see you tonight for dinner. I’m going to head to my apartment and straighten up and get some more of my things.”

“I’ll drive you,” Charles said quickly.

“One more thing,” his grandmother said. I turned in time for her arms to circle me in a huge hug. She whispered, “He never stopped loving you, you know. Just remember that. And he still does.”

I wasn’t sure what to do with that information, considering everything I was feeling, so I just nodded. “Thank you for the beautiful quilt. Goodbye.”

We said goodbye to Hazel and walked out. We returned to Charles’s room, and suddenly I was so overcome with emotion that I couldn’t stand it. “I have to go. Now.”

Charles looked confused, but he saw the tears on my face. “Yes, let’s go.”