Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Melody

When I was growing up, I’d always wondered why people waited until Christmas Eve to do their shopping. I would help my mother in the store and lament the fact that so many people waited until the day before Christmas to actually buy Christmas presents. When I was raising Will, I had Christmas done a couple days after Thanksgiving. I’d prided myself on that. The only reason it even took until after Thanksgiving was because many times I would wait for Black Friday deals.

Today, I had no judgment about last-minute shoppers. Truly, I was on cloud nine. Charles worked by my side the entire day. Many of the customers didn’t know Charles, but a good number did. They were surprised he was there, and then they were coy about it. This was a small town, so of course many people who came to my shop and wanted to buy a doll knew my history with Charles.

It was delightful, especially because Charles was not pretending like we weren’t in a relationship. On the contrary, he was acting like we’d never stopped dating. He snuck kisses and randomly took my hand and smiled at me.

The only person who blatantly made a big deal about it all was Gretchen. She walked into the shop around two and asked, “Do you have any extra printing paper?”

I was behind the cash register, finishing with ringing someone up. “I think so.”

Charles stood up from straightening the Christmas display. “Do you need me to grab it?”

Gretchen’s whole body froze. “What are you doing here?” She looked back and forth from me to Charles. Then a huge smile spread across her face.

I couldn’t help but giggle.

Charles walked toward me, taking me into his arms and lightly kissing me. My pulse raced.

“Holy moly,” Gretchen said softly.

I giggled again and held on to Charles. “What?” I asked, turning to smile at her.

Charles pushed his nose into my hair. “You’ve been giggling a lot. Maybe she’s wondering about that?”

His comment made me giggle even more, and I relished every second of being in his arms.

Gretchen moved to stand in front of the cash register and placed her hands on her hips. “Did this happen in the span of less than twenty-four hours?”

I pulled away from Charles. “I think so. Charles? Has it been less than twenty-four hours?” I busied myself with retrieving some extra printer paper for her.

“I don’t know,” said Charles, taking the printer paper from my hands and placing it in hers.

Gretchen laughed and then rushed around the counter and threw her arms around me. “I’m so happy for you, my friend. Truly.”

I pulled back and smiled at her. “Me too.”

Then she turned and threw her arms around Charles. “I’m happy for you too.”

Charles laughed. “You know this cart was in front of the horse a long time ago, or however you want to say it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

Gretchen left, and then Charles wrapped his arms around me again.

I snuggled into him and still couldn’t believe that this was real. “I don’t know if we should be this unprofessional in the store.”

He scrunched up his face and looked around. “There’s nobody here.” He put his forehead against mine. “Plus, you own the place.”

I shrugged, unable to wrap my head around the idea. “I don’t really own it. There is still debt on it. Plus the whole stupid waiting for the 401(k) thing.” I wiggled free of his grasp and moved back toward the Christmas display he had been fixing. I didn’t want to think about reality, but it had a way of creeping in.

Charles moved to my side. “I can imagine it’s frustrating to deal with your ex. Plus this whole situation.”

I fixed up the display and couldn’t help but smile. “You knew that if you offered to just fix all my problems, I wouldn’t like that. Didn’t you?”

He put one of the boxes back into place. “You never were the damsel in distress type.”

I laughed and took his hand. “True. And just so you know, when you did try to stop my wedding, it was hard for me. I may not have left with you, but there was part of me that wanted to.”

He used the leverage of my hand and yanked me toward him. “Pray tell.” He brushed his lips against mine.

Fire pulsed through me. It was like the familiar attraction between us was now a hundred times what it used to be. I wondered if he felt that too. I pulled back a little. “You were my first love. I had only ever loved you, until Peter.” I said the last word bitterly.

Charles picked up our linked hands and kissed the back of mine. “I’m glad. Because I missed you for so many years. When things went bad with Sheila, I thought about you.”

The ocean blue of his eyes rocked me. “You did?”

He nodded. “Of course. I thought you were happy, so I felt bad about it. It was hard to come back here at times, because all my memories of this place revolve around you in some way.”

“I know. I feel the same way. I hardly came over the years. Of course, I came to visit my mother and brought Will, but there were so many times that Peter didn’t come with us. He would claim that he had to work.” Sad feelings washed over me. “Too bad all those memories are tainted by his affairs. Like, I don’t even know if I can believe him. Maybe he had affairs when we were gone here.” Emptiness chilled me for a second.

Gently, Charles put a hand on my cheek. “It’s okay to be sad. I can imagine being tainted by that. I feel tainted in my own way. I felt like I failed Sheila.”

His words surprised me. “Why would you feel like you failed her?”

He hesitated and pulled back. With one of his hands still in mine, he looked down. “Because it didn’t matter how much money or resources I had—I couldn’t help her get pregnant. At the end of the day, I took that upon myself.”

I squeezed his hand. “It’s okay for you to be sad about that.”

A little smile crossed his lips. “Thank you.”

For a long time, we simply stared into each other’s eyes, and it felt like the past and present and future were wrapped up in this moment. If only I could download it like a computer attachment and come back to it forever. He’d always had such a big heart.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

His eyebrows went up. “For what?”

“For ever believing what your grandfather said. I should’ve talked to you. When you came to Wilmington, I should’ve let you into the apartment.”

He snorted and shook his head. “I wanted to bust down that door. That’s what I wanted. But your roommate would not let me in. The way she looked at me … well, I guess now I know why.”

I blinked rapidly. “That’s on me. I should’ve heard you out, and I shouldn’t have believed what your grandfather said. I knew you. Why did I believe him?” Sudden tears surfaced as the pain of the past sliced through me. “I could’ve prevented all of it.”

Instantly, Charles’s hands were on my face. “Hey.” He searched my eyes. “You can’t think that way.”

“I know.” Of course I knew that. “And I wouldn’t give up Will for anything. He was the best thing that came out of all those years with Peter.”

Charles grinned at me. “That’s right. We can’t second-guess the past. There’s no point in that.”

I covered his hands with mine and said, “You’re right.”

He gently kissed my lips.

I clung to him, then pulled back. “This is crazy.”

“You’re gonna have to explain.”

“I just mean Gretchen is right. It’s been less than twenty-four hours, and here we are, kissing, and I’m feeling all those old feelings, plus more. It all feels like it’s going so fast.”

He hesitated and then let out a rumbling laugh. “It’s not too fast for me. Remember, it’s actually gone really slow.”

My eyelashes fluttered. “You’re right. Between us, it’s been a lifetime.” I was sad suddenly, because I had this niggling thought that Charles could be with someone younger and still have the kids he’d always wanted.

He pulled me against him and said softly, “And in the next lifetime, the future, we’ll be together. We’ll make up for lost time.”

I tried to push away the thought that he could still have kids with someone else. And then I wondered, could I still have a kid?

He looked at me and asked, “What are you thinking?”

I laughed, sounding like a maniac. There was no way I would tell him that. No way.