Chapter 8

Carina tried not to be distracted by Felix's bare chest or the sprinkling of blond hair upon the nearly sculpted muscles. Her body temperature rose as she compared him to what the great artists created when sculpting marble, amazed that Felix could resemble such. Goodness!

She blinked and averted her eyes, concentrating only on the wound in his shoulder, which was high enough to have missed his heart and likely lung, but barely low enough not to have shattered a bone.

He still bled and she pressed a cloth against the wound, which soon turned crimson, and she replaced it with another.

Where was Angelo with the surgeon? Knight could very well be dead from blood loss if he did not arrive soon.

"You should have a footman see to this, Carina," Gaia urged.

"You should not even see him in an undressed state," Lydell warned.

"It is my fault he is here, now leave if you are not going to help."

"How is Knight being shot your fault?" Lydell asked.

"You did not shoot him, did you?" Gaia asked to which Carina nearly cried.

"I may as well have."

"That is not true," Bolton said from the entry.

Carina didn't look up but continued to watch the gentle rise and fall of Felix's chest as he took breaths and replaced yet another crimson stained cloth.

"The surgeon is here."

Only then did she look up to find an elderly gentleman standing beside her.

"May I?"

She moved from Knight's side so that the surgeon could care for him. "Will he live?"

"That is my hope, but you really should leave."

"I cannot."

"Please."

Gaia tugged at Carina's elbow and slowly pulled her from the chamber. They were followed by Lydell and Bolton.

"Someone must stay with him," she argued.

"The surgeon and footmen will see to his care. We would only be in the way," Bolton said.

Carina tried to take a steady breath but it was difficult.

"You are shaking." Gaia grasped her hands.

"He could die because of me."

"You will not take this on," Bolton argued.

"Let me get you changed out of your gown, wash your hands and then you can explain what happened." Gaia gently led Carina to her chamber.

"Please select a day dress for Miss Carina," Gaia instructed her maid as she led Carina to the wash basin and gently washed her hands. The water was soon tinged pink then red. Gaia opened a window and tossed the water out and added fresh from a pitcher, though it did not stay clear long. "We will need to do something about your nails."

Carina stared down at them and even though her hands were now free of blood, it was still in the nailbeds and beneath her fingernails.

"I have soap, Lady Lydell." The maid handed her a sliver of lavender soap and Gaia put herself to the task of scrubbing Carina's nails. She supposed she could have done that herself, but Carina was finding it difficult to concentrate on anything.

What if Felix died?

She would never be able to live with herself. "I promise never to leave your side at an entertainment again."

"Why do you say so?" her friend asked quietly.

"It is the reason Knight may now be dying. I left the Assembly Rooms for fresh air and now Felix has been shot."

"That was last evening, Carina. He was whole then and drove you home. I saw him in the library myself last evening and he was drinking brandy."

Carina shook her head. "Because you do not know." Tears spiked.

"Tell me after you have changed your gown." Gaia removed Carina's hands from the water and then began drying them.

The blood was gone. One would think it would be more difficult to remove.

"Come along."

Carina followed as the maid stripped her of the bloody pelisse and gown that she had worn to Beechen Cliff, then helped her into another.

"Now, let us go downstairs and you can explain what happened and why you think you are to blame."

Carina gave a nod because she was not certain she had the capacity to form words. However, she did dread telling Gaia and Lydell what had occurred and why and they were certainly going to blame her as much as she blamed herself.

Felix wasn't certain when he lost consciousness, but it was while the surgeon was probing his wound looking for the lead ball. He recalled screaming in pain, though it seemed as if his voice came from a distance, and then nothing until he woke to a darkened room with only light coming from the moon outside of the window and filtering onto the angelic face of Carina.

So peaceful and beautiful, her black eyelashes forming a crescent against her pale cheeks, full lips slightly parted and chest rising and falling in even breaths.

The chair had been pulled close to his bed and she held his hand.

How long had she slept by his bedside? If only she would join him in his bed, then they would both sleep easier.

Was she here because she cared so deeply for him? Carina had never answered Bolton's question about what he couldn't provide. But she had admitted that she loved him. Her si had been quiet, but he had heard it just the same and Felix would never forget.

Or was she here because of guilt, believing the injury was her fault?

Felix supposed that it shouldn't matter but he hoped that it was more out of love and less out of guilt.

He had been shot in the morning and as it was already night, he must have slept these past twelve hours or more, which explained why he was parched and hungry.

However, he'd not disturb Carina and attempted to push himself up in bed only to be rewarded with a searing, hot pain in his chest and shoulder.

Bloody hell!

Carina's eyes drifted open and for a moment she was in a haze of sleepiness before she straightened and leaned forward. "Do not move or you will pull at your stitches." She then placed a hand against his brow. "Thank goodness."

"For what?"

"You have been unconscious for three days and running a fever, we feared infection would take you."

"Three days?" he croaked then tried to clear his throat but it was dry as a desert would be.

"I will get you water." Carina rose from her seat and returned with a glass that she pressed against his lips. He drank deeply though at this reclined position, much of it ran down the side of his face and soaked into the pillow beneath his head.

"I would like to sit up," he said.

"I shall get a footman."

"Do not bother them."

"One sits outside the door in case he is needed."

Carina was once again gone before he could argue with her. Felix would rather lie on a damp pillow than be alone or have the assistance from a footman to make him more comfortable.

"Lift him slightly and take care not to cause further injury to his wound and I will add pillows behind him," she instructed as the two neared the bed.

"I apologize, Knight," the footman said before he lifted him forward.

Felix clenched his jaw to keep from voicing the pain because he didn't want to worry Carina further. She stacked the pillows and then the footman gently released him back.

It was good to be reclining instead of lying flat and the soft pillows behind his shoulder were not so uncomfortable.

Carina filled another glass and pressed it to his lips. Once again Felix drank and this time spilled little.

"Would you like more?"

"No, thank you." He sighed and let his head fall back, closing his eyes.

Why was he so bloody exhausted. He'd just slept for, what, three days.

"How is your pain?" she asked gently.

"Dull," Felix answered honestly. Now that he was resting against pillows there was only a slight throb. "Three days?" he asked.

"I was quite frightened that we would lose you." Carina once again placed her cool, delicate hand against his brow. "The fever raged but there was naught we could do but try to keep you cool."

"I am cool now and awake."

"Yes, and it appears as you have come through the worst of it, thank goodness."

She took her hand away and rested it on her lap and all Felix wanted to do was snatch it back up.

"However, once you do recover, I fully intend to blister your ears with regard to the foolishness of participating in a duel."

"Have you not already done so?" he asked with humor.

"That was before you got shot and I'm still quite upset with you."

"How does Clarkston fair?"

Carina scowled. "You care for his wellbeing after all this?"

"Only so much as I would not see Bolton punished."

Her features softened. "He has survived, and I hear that he was barely away from Society a day before he once again appeared, his arm in a sling."

"Please tell me that he has not alerted Society as to how he came about his injury."

"He claims it was a hunting accident," Carina assured him. "As a result, several sympathetic misses surround him at every turn, or at least that is what I have been told."

"Fools," Felix grumbled.

"I most heartily agree." Carina stood. "Well, now that you are awake and soon to recover, I will take my leave of you."

"You are abandoning me?" Felix nearly cried.

"I am still quite angry with you." With that, she turned and marched from his chamber.

She'd been so caring and loving, sleeping by his bed, then offering a drink, seeing to his comfort, and then checking for a fever. The woman who just stormed from his chamber was not the same one he had awakened to find, and he wanted her back.