Chapter 11

Felix Knight was dangerous.

His flirtations had set her pulse racing and heart pounding as heat swept through her body. Then, when he leaned in to kiss her, Carena nearly allowed him to do so.

She must guard what was left of her heart.

Even if it was true that he had set aside his rakish ways, they could never court or become anything more permanent. Their positions within the Lydell household would not allow such.

Where would they even live. He had rooms above the stables, she had a chamber within the castle. A coachman could not live in the household, nor did she wish to live above the stables. It simply would not work.

"I witnessed you and Felix in the gardens," Gaia announced as she entered the back parlor where Carina had taken refuge to finish reading her book without interruption. She'd been in here over an hour and couldn't remember any of the words she'd read because her mind was on Knight.

"He is happy to be away from his chamber," Carina answered.

"He could have gone to the stables where he enjoys being around the horses."

"But Felix is the driver and coachman, not the stablemaster."

To which Gaia laughed. "He serves as that as well. Each time Lydell needs to replace a servant, even in the stables, Knight steps in to fill the role."

"Stablemaster, coachman, driver and sometimes footman. What else does he do?" Carina laughed with her question.

"Apparently court you."

"It is nothing more than a flirtation." In most households such a relationship would not be allowed, but then again, this was not most households.

"You are wrong, Carina, and I want to know why you are discouraging him?"

Gaia was not going to let her dismiss this conversation and Carina had known her too long not to just give in. "To what purpose?"

"Courtship and eventual marriage."

She then presented the very things she had considered. "Thus, assuming we would marry, where would we live."

"In a lovely cottage, just as you have always dreamed."

"Where and how could we afford such?" It was not worth considering.

"What if we built a cottage here. There is plenty of land. You would still live close and Knight could continue his position for my husband. Nothing would change except for where you sleep." Gaia leaned close. "Sleeping with someone is so much nicer than sleeping alone," her friend whispered.

"You know that most husbands and wives of your station keep separate chambers," Carina returned as she pretended to be scandalized.

"Ah, but that makes the best parts of marriage inconvenient when we are in separate beds as one has to leave theirs to go to the other. It's better to already be sharing the covers."

"What are the two of you whispering about?" Lydell asked as he entered the parlor, Knight beside him.

Gaia laughed as Carina's face burned so hotly that she was certain it was about to burst into flames.

"I shall never tell," Gaia finally answered.

"Given the shade of Miss Leonelli's lovely cheeks, I truly wish to know," Knight commented.

"It was nothing." Carina quickly stood and left the room.

It was after Gaia married that she had told Carina what happened in the marriage bed, including details and the pleasure her friend experienced when being intimate with her husband. In fact, such activities had not been limited to the bedchamber and since their discussion, Carina avoided any room where the door was already closed and was careful to listen for any unusual sounds when strolling through the estate, especially the wooded areas.

Frustrated!

After Carina had walked away from him on the terrace yesterday, she had disappeared from every room Felix entered. The only exception was supper after he had been invited to dine with the family.

She was avoiding him so much today that even after searching the estate, Felix had not found her.

Further, Lydell was behind closed doors seeing to estate details, which left Felix little to occupy his time. He was so used to spending all his hours in the stables, or driving, and occasionally acting as a footman that Felix did not know what to do with himself.

In fact, he was bored out of his mind. Never had he had so much idle time on his hands and if he didn't find something to occupy himself soon, he might go mad.

Of course, Lydell did have a large selection of books, but after lying in bed for so long, Felix didn't want to sit to read. He needed to move about and be active, which led him to walking into Bath. It wasn't so very far, though a carriage would have made the trip quicker, but once he arrived there, he wasn't certain what to do next. He rarely came into town without a purpose for being there. He could shop but did not need anything.

He could visit an ale house but did not want to sit there and drink alone, especially when it was only afternoon, which led him to the home of Bolton.

A comely maid opened the door to his knock and Felix had to wonder how many of the pretty servants Bolton also bedded, then dismissed the thought. Just because he was a rake didn't mean Bolton bedded anyone in a skirt who was willing. Further, Felix knew for a fact that Bolton preferred widows.

The maid left him cooling his heels in the entry and went to announce his arrival. In the meantime, Felix studied the floor, which was a colorful mosaic. He'd been told that it had been created by Lady Lydell when she was still living within this home. The hobby was something she still enjoyed, and Lydell had made mention of setting off for the beaches one of these days so that Lady Lydell could collect sea glass.

Good God he was bored if he was occupying his mind with Lady Lydell's desire to collect sea glass.

"Knight, what are you doing here?" Bolton called coming from a drawing room.

"I am bored and walked into town but once here, did not know where to go."

Bolton laughed. "Join me in tea."

"Tea?"

"Tea! I had too much brandy last night." He shook his head and led Felix into the drawing room. "I find it difficult to believe that you are bored especially since Lady Carina resides in Lydell's home."

"She has been avoiding me," Felix admitted.

"Why? What did you do?"

"I merely tried to gain another kiss and she rejected me."

"Why? She kissed you before."

"That is exactly what I told her but apparently I must be near death to receive one."

"I could shoot you again," Bolton offered.

Felix glared, not humored by his offer.

"I do not understand." Felix pushed his fingers through his hair, which really should be trimmed, but he hadn't had the time. He supposed he could see to that today since he had nothing but time.

"What don't you understand?"

"My ears were not playing tricks on me, were they? Carina did admit to loving me."

"She did," Bolton acknowledged.

"So why won't she kiss me?"

"Have you told her that you love her?" Bolton asked.

Felix frowned.

"Ah, I did not think so."

At that moment, a footman entered carrying a tea service. The two men remained silent as the tea was poured and the footman retreated, closing the door behind him.

"One does not simply come out and announce such a thing, especially when she won't even allow me to court her." Felix sat forward, as his other concern came to mind. "Did she ever say what she meant by, ‘He cannot give me what I want.'?"

"No," Bolton answered as he picked up a biscuit from the tray.

"I was unconscious for days yet you could not have asked that one question?"

"Had I known you expected me to play matchmaker, I would have," Bolton returned.

Felix blew out a sigh. "I think she fears being poor."

"Why would you say that?"

Felix then explained her wish to return to Florence but that it was impossible, as neither one of them was likely to afford such a trip for years.

Bolton set his empty teacup aside. "I have found when faced with similar dilemmas that much can be resolved by simply asking her what she meant."

"Except then she will know that I was not unconscious and heard everything, including her confession."

"Which could be to your benefit, I might add."

Felix had considered the same, but feared that she'd withdraw even further from him, or be angry that he had held his silence.

Blast, had he not been in so much pain and more himself, he could have admitted that he loved her too, right there in the carriage. But would she have believed him?

"A simple and honest conversation often answers many questions," Bolton offered.

"Yes, well, your conversations involve arrangements that are not exactly of a permanent nature. More care must be given when a courtship is being discussed, not simply bed sport."

Bolton grinned. "Ah, but a courtship leads to marriage which leads to unlimited bed sport."

"Yes, but if I am not careful, the only thing I may ever gain from Carina was that one kiss."