Chapter 17

When Alex returned home in the early hours of the morning, he was still reeling from the way he and his new wife had parted.

The questions she had asked had been too personal, he had been too shocked at her asking them to even consider being able to answer, and yet now he felt remarkably guilty. It was all he had been able to think about behind his devil"s mask while he surveyed The Devil's Lair in brooding silence.

A part of him wanted to go to Emmaline"s room, to talk to her and apologize for how he had stormed out, to explain that she was not to take his reaction too personally. But he knew very well that she would be asleep. Everyone in the house was asleep. He hated the thought of his staff awaiting his every beck and call, waiting up simply to hang his jacket or help him off with his cufflinks before bed.

He was quite capable of doing such things. Besides, Sean was usually close behind him and the two were quite capable of seeing to each other.

With his best friend long since in bed, Alex sat in the armchair beside his own bed, unable to bear the thought of sleeping. He would only dream of her as he had every night since their meeting, of her soft and silky cream skin and her dark hair, her gleaming green eyes and their lack of fear when they looked upon him.

Everything about her had been utterly intoxicating from the moment that they met and yet, all he had managed to do was capture her and keep her at arm"s length.

It was the most foolish thing he had ever heard. She was his. They were married, until death they did part, and still he could not bring himself to take advantage of that.

With a huge, regretful sigh, Alex placed his head in his hands and rubbed his temples. The tension there was growing deeper by the day.

One hand still rubbing his head, he leaned down with his other and worked off his boots. The supple leather creaked as he did so and the boots thudded to the hardwood floor, forgotten.

This time, a relieved sigh escaped his lips, and he leaned back in order to try to relax a little.

Just when he was considering getting up, putting on his slippers, and heading down to his study to find his favorite bottle of liquor, he heard the gentle rapping of knuckles on the door.

Curious, he pushed himself up from his armchair. He hadn"t passed anyone in the halls. Save for saying good night to Sean, the house had been deathly silent. Even the usual creaking of the old building hadn"t sounded as he walked the halls to his chambers.

His fingertips itched with interest as he reached out and gripped the doorknob. Twisting, he pulled the door open, most surprised to find Emmaline standing on the other side.

"Emmaline!" he exclaimed, unable to hide his shock. "I would have thought you abed by now."

"I was," Emmaline responded. She released her hands where they had been clasped before her and played with the curls at the end of her long plait. It hung over one shoulder right down to her waist and not for the first time, Alex wished to touch her hair, to feel whether it was as soft and silky as it looked, to wrap it tightly around his fingers and pull back her head to expose her throat, to kiss her hard on the mouth and feel her flesh burn with the same desire as his own.

It was foolish, he knew, how could she ever share his desire when he looked as he did?

"I could not sleep," she admitted, gesturing past him, "Might I possibly come in?"

Alex gritted his teeth. He considered declining. Taking this woman, this beautiful and intoxicating woman, into his bed chamber might be the best and very worst mistake he ever made. He wasn"t certain he would be able to contain himself if he did.

But he stepped out of the way and gestured her in. "Please."

She swept in with a flutter of pale pastel blue silk. The robe she wore was sheer and had already started to slip open at the front, revealing her lace trimmed chemise beneath.

Alex could imagine all too easily what lay beneath it. The way the material hung on her body left very little to the imagination and when she stood before the candle upon his desk, it made things all the worse.

Averting his gaze, he left the bedroom door ajar in the hopes it might prevent him from doing something he may come to regret.

"Emmaline, I wish to apolo—"

"Please, Your Grace, it is I who have come to apologize to you," Emmaline insisted, and Alex"s gaze flew back to hers. "I never should have cornered you in your study like that, especially as I could sense you were angry after arriving back from whatever business you had with your uncle."

Alex shivered at the reminder. He would rather forget entirely what had happened at Lord Wells home but like all the other times he had been forced to play the devil, he remembered it all.

"Please, do not trouble yourself," Alex protested. "It is I who should apologize. I never should have spoken to you as I did. It is a regret I fear I shall never recover from."

He crossed the room toward her where she had stopped by the end of the bed and was surprised when she came to meet him.

It was even more shocking when her hand came up to his face and her fingertips gently brushed over the scarred side of his face.

He flinched, not out of pain but out of the fact that nobody had ever touched him quite so gently before. The way she recoiled made him angry with himself.

"I"m sorry. Did I hurt you?" she exclaimed but quick as lightning, Alex grabbed her wrist and urged her hand back up to his face, leaning his cheek into her palm.

"No, I… I have simply never been touched so gently, physically nor verbally. I was a fool to run from you earlier. I can see you mean me no harm."

Emmaline"s eyes narrowed. "Why should anyone mean you harm?"

Alex sighed. "Look at me. Even without the mask, I am a monster."

Emmaline stepped closer and her other hand came up to his face. She cupped his cheeks in both hands now and looked him deep in the eye as she said, "I see no monster."

Alex"s heart skipped a beat.

How could this woman possibly be real?

Closing his eyes, though it pained him, he urged her hands down from his face as he said, "You are stuck with me. I can see why you would try to convince yourself of such things, but you need not. I know what I am."

"Do you?" Emmaline asked and the tone of her voice made him open his eyes to look at her. "I fear that you do not."

Alex shook his head. "It is you who do not. I have seen terrible things and done nothing. I have done even more terrible things and done nothing to make amends. I am scarred, as I said, on the inside and out."

"I do not believe that," Emmaline said, laying her palms on his chest. Through his shirt he felt the warmth of her touch and he bit the inside of his cheek. Her nearness was magnificent. He wished vehemently to take her into his arms and hold her forever there, where she could not escape him. But he had no right, even if she was his wife.

"Then you are a pretty little fool indeed," Alex said. Seeing the way she winced, he immediately regretted his words.

It was at that moment, he knew, he had to tell her the truth.

"Emmaline, please, sit," Alex said, gesturing to the plush cushioned loveseat at the end of the bed.

With a raised brow, she did as he asked. Dropping down onto the seat beside her, careful to keep his distance, Alex cleared his throat.

"As I am sure you are aware, every family has its secrets," Alex said, feeling his insides churn at what he was about to do. The way she looked back at him suggested she knew it too and he saw her eyes widen a little.

What can I say instead? He thought, not for the first time, wishing there were some lie he might be able to tell.

Many over the years had questioned him. Many had looked at him hopefully for answers, just as Emmaline was now, but this was the very first time he felt any inclination to do so.

Closing his eyes, Alex sucked in a deep breath. It took all he had in him to remain in his seat. A part of him wished to pace up and down the room as he prepared to tell his story.

It was only when he felt Emmaline"s hand slip onto his on the seat between them that he finally found his voice again.

"My mother died when I was very, very young. My father remarried, and my stepmother died shortly after my younger sister was born, due to complications," he explained, his eyes still closed. He could not bring himself to look at her, but he felt her gaze upon him, and her hand in his as he twisted his grip to slip her fingers into his. "My father and uncle raised the both of us, more so my uncle, for my father was always too busy with business."

He paused, waiting for Emmaline to speak, perhaps even to stop him from going on. She didn"t. She never so much as made a sound, only squeezed his hand encouragingly.

"My father was the first devil. He and my uncle created The Devil"s Lair, and it was a rich and powerful business from the word go," Alex continued, "But my father was greedy and power hungry and he never knew when to stop. People feared the devil and that power went to his head. He and my uncle became more and more cruel. I was too young, and there was nothing I could do to stop either of them. I fear what they might have done if I had tried."

Again, she squeezed his hand. "Please, Alex, take your time."

The gentle encouragement and tenderness in her tone made Alex"s chest swell. How had he gotten lucky enough to find this woman?

"I… I was barely sixteen when my father died," he admitted, finally opening his eyes. The sympathy in Emmaline"s gaze made him cringe.

"How… how did it happen?"

Bile rose in Alex's throat. The scars on his face tingled as he remembered all too well what had happened.

"It was a house fire at our countryside estate."

Emmaline gasped at that. Her free hand flew up to her mouth. Behind her fingers, she asked, "Is that how…"

She looked at his face, unable to complete her question.

"Yes," he dipped his head and gestured to his scars. "That is how I got these."

"Then you are lucky to be alive!" she exclaimed. "It must have been horrendous."

Alex shivered again. It had been. To this day he remembered the stench, the burning of the house mixed with the scent of his own burning flesh.

"It was worth it," he said, still cringing. "If I had not been there Lorraine never would have made it out."

"Lorraine?"

Alex looked Emmaline in the eye as he said, "My sister."

"What happened? How did the fire start?" Emmaline asked, her horror clear on her porcelain face.

Alex shook his head again. "They believe it was an unattended candle or some other similar thing. Perhaps some embers from one of the bedroom fires even. My father drank heavily. It"s highly possible he knocked over his reading candle, the fool."

Alex cringed. Though he and his father had never seen eye to eye and the man had always been cruel, he did not like to speak ill of the dead.

"I was awoken by the smoke coming from my father"s bedroom down the hall," Alex explained, trying his hardest to keep the memories at bay. They snapped at his mind like rabid dogs as he tried to contain himself enough to tell the whole story.

"I yelled for help, but the fire had already spread to the upper floor above. Many of the servants were trapped above. I had only enough time to reach my sister"s nursery before the beams above started to collapse."

Emmaline gasped again. "How awful!"

Alex cringed. No amount of telling the story could take away the horror of it. Nor did he believe she could ever feel the true magnitude of it.

"I had just managed to get Lorraine out of her bed when I was struck by one of the burning beams," Alex said, gesturing to his face. "It was only her screaming that kept me lucid enough to drag myself and her from the burning house."

"Oh, Alex!" Emmaline exclaimed and he was surprised when she moved, taking hold of his face in both her hands. "How can you possibly think yourself a monster after something so heroic?"

She gazed so deeply into his eyes that for a moment Alex thought he saw the hero that she did. Her tenderness was heartwarming and he longed so desperately to lean into it.

Instead, he gripped her hands and pulled them away from her face.

"I dragged Lorraine out onto the lawn kicking and screaming and left her with one of the maids who had made it out," Alex explained, his chest tightening. "That same maid told me she had seen my father headed for his study just before the blaze began and so I returned inside to find him."

"Oh, Alex, no!" Emmaline said, trembling as if she were right there in the blaze with him.

Alex squeezed her hands, comforting her as much as himself.

"When I got there, I couldn"t find him," Alex admitted. His heart ached painfully. "I searched everywhere I could before the blaze truly took hold of the place, but it was impossible. When the beams of the second floor started to fall from above my head, I knew I had no choice but to get out or my sister should be orphaned without me."

"You did the right thing," Emmaline said, laying a hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from her, shaking his head.

"It was perhaps the only good thing I ever did. Since then, I have learned of many a debt my father had racked up. You see, when playing the devil, he was feared and cruel but as just another nobleman, he liked to drink and gamble and whore. Forgive my saying so."

Emmaline nodded curtly and Alex was surprised at her lack of horror towards his words. Perhaps she was even more intelligent and worldly than he had given her credit for.

"Beside his will and the letter in which he stipulated I must marry and produce an heir to keep my title and estate, he also left me a mountain of debts and more keep coming out of the woodwork. I am unable to put down the devil"s mask, not only because of my scars but because I must use it to keep my family afloat."

The pity in the lady"s eyes then was most degrading. And yet, Alex couldn"t bring himself to be angry with her. How could he? She had sat and listened with nothing but empathy, without judgment. And she looked at him now without it still.

"I see it all so clearly now," she said and when she lifted her hand again to touch the scarred side of his face, he leaned into her palm. "You truly are the man I believed you to be. You are no monster, Alexander. You are a true and honest gentleman. I see you."

Her words sent heat coursing throughout his entire body.

Sitting on his throne in The Devil's Lair the next evening, Alex felt lighter, less brooding, than usual. There was a welcome relief in his chest. Knowing that Lady Emmaline was not nearly so frightened of him as everyone else somehow made the weight of the devil's mask a little easier to bear.

And watching over his club, he could almost imagine that everything he was doing would one day be worth it all. With her at home, he had a reason to keep on going. Lorraine was so far away in France that sometimes it made it next to impossible to remember why he was doing these horrendous things. But Emmaline had given him a new lease on life.

"See to that," he ordered Sean who was standing nearby when a ruckus started on the gambling tables to his right. Tonight was a good night, he would not have it sullied by fisticuffs in his club.

"Yes, lord," Sean said, dipping his head, adjusting his own mask before heading right into the fray.

Alex watched absentmindedly out of the corner of his eye as his best friend pulled two men apart before practically slamming their heads together.

The two gentlemen, disoriented, stumbled back down into their seats and grabbed for their drinks from the table.

"Sit down and make merry or get out!" Sean ordered the two of them and all seemed to settle in the usual manner, back to the merriment and general entertainment of the club.

The scantily-clad women going about their usual nightly business didn't appear to be having too much trouble that evening and so Alex watched on, hopeful that they might take another large chunk out of his father's debts by the end of the week.

It was only when the merriment quieted into an oddly familiar hum and the music of the band playing in the corner grew silent, that Alex sat bolt upright in his throne and paid real attention to the room.

All eyes turned on the curtained entryway at the far end where the heavy red drapes had been pulled back by the guards. One was not merely swept aside to allow a gentleman entry, but both pulled back for some grand entrance.

But who, in The Devil's Lair, could be worth such a grand entrance when The Devil Lord himself was already sitting upon his throne?

The hum of gossip grew louder at the swishing sound of skirts and when the woman stepped into the room, Alex's heart leapt into his throat.

For once, he knew what it was like for the members of his club to look upon him for he felt as though he were looking at a female version of himself.

The creature who entered the room was breathtaking. In a scandalously low-cut black silk gown with breasts practically up at her chin, the woman swept into the room, the obsidian choker at her throat glimmering darkly in the candlelight.

But it was not the gown that took Alex's breath the most. It was that red mask upon her face with its great black horns that shone almost as brightly as her neck jewelry and the rubies that adorned her hair.

Those rubies, Alex recognized just as he recognized the woman who strode down the center of the room, her eyes never leaving his. They were green and glimmering, confident and regal. The pale creamy skin of her breasts and bare shoulders against the black of her gown made Alex's insides twist with such desire he had to bite the inside of her lip.

Well aware that he must not show any kind of emotion before the entirety of his club, he kept his expression carefully closed beneath his mask, never blinking as his dark bride gathered up the skirts of her gown and took to the steps of his throne.

She draped herself and her skirts over his lap, sitting upon him in a way that made his manhood harden immediately.

Through gritted teeth he growled low in her ear, "What are you doing?"

Emmaline wrapped her arms around his neck and turned her face in toward his ear. "Joining you," she whispered in return, "We shall do this together and one day we shall be free of it."

Alex's stomach twisted with pain then. His desire was overwhelmed by the thought of what she was suggesting. He had thought he wanted such a thing at first but the idea of putting Emmaline in harm's way now made him feel sick.

"I cannot ask you to do that," he whispered carefully so not to be heard. To all the onlookers it likely seemed as if he were nuzzling into his bride's neck.

Lifting his hand, he gestured to the band and on his silent command, they started to play once more.

"You have not asked me," Emmaline responded, "Yet, I am here. We shall be free of your father's debts one day and then I wish for you to know that I was by your side for the entirety of the time it takes for us to finally have the future we both deserve."

Alex was overwhelmed by some emotion then, one he could not quite put his finger on, but one that was all-encompassing. It gripped him just as Emmaline gripped him around the neck and made him feel as if he could no longer breathe.

And yet, he liked it.

"How can you wish for a future with someone like me? Someone who frightens you."

Alex sucked in a breath, bracing himself for her answer.

It was then she looked him deep in the eye, and holding his jawline in both her hands, she whispered, "I am not frightened of you, Alex. I see you and I am not afraid of you."

Before he could say another word, she kissed him. It was a strong, passionate kiss, one that made him tingle from head to toe. And his cock became so emboldened that it took all he had in him not to take her right then and there in front of every one of his patrons.

Instead, he kissed her back, his hand gathering the hem of her skirts so that he could caress the bare skin of her thigh.

He squeezed there until she squealed delicately against his lips.

"Forgive me," he whispered, kissing her again before he added, "I just needed to know that you are real, that I am not dreaming."

Wrapping her arms around his neck again, she kissed him and pinched the skin at the nape of his neck until he too winced. "There, now you know, you are not dreaming."

With that, she kissed him again and Alex's entire world started to spin off its axis.