Chapter 18

Eighteen

Abigail sat with Ben at a makeshift table in camp outside of the fort. She held Molly, Owen and Rachel's baby, in her arms as the babe slept.

Ben was scowling at the primer on the barrel in front of her as she sounded out, "K-i-t-n. Kitten." Her legs swung like two pendulums above the ground, at different rhythms and speeds.

She turned her scowl on Abigail. "Why do I have to do this?"

"It's good for you." And Felicity and August, who had adopted the little girl weeks ago, had asked for Abigail's help finding something to distract Ben. Ever since the wildfire, she'd been jumpy and close to tears.

Abigail understood. It'd been two days since the near-disaster. The wagon train had been reunited late this morning and would pull out this afternoon—all as one, together.

Spirits were high. But every time Abigail turned her head just right, she got a whiff of smoke that still clung to parts of the canvas or wood and a frisson of fear spiked through her. She whispered a prayer and let a moment of reflection clear it.

Molly had no such worries. The baby was deeply asleep, content as Abigail held her on her shoulder.

Abigail patted the baby's back, the warm bundle in her arms igniting hopes and long-buried dreams.

"M-i-t-n, mitten," Ben blurted, focus back on the primer.

Abigail caught sight of Alice hauling an armful of quilts between two wagons. The young man who'd ridden with her to the fort—Robert?—approached from the direction of that structure.

When he called out to Alice, she started. When he offered her something—Abigail couldn't make out the bundle in his hands—Alice shook her head. And then Alice made a sharp motion with one hand before clutching the quilts again. Abigail couldn't hear what she said, but she didn't look happy. She climbed into a wagon and Robert was left standing there, alone.

He waited for a long moment, then dropped his head and turned to leave.

"What's this word?" Ben's question interrupted Abigail's focus on the strange drama in front of her. She leaned over Ben's shoulder and helped her sound out the word "mother."

Ben peered up at Abigail. "When're you and Hollis goin' to have a baby? Then you'll be a mother."

At that moment, Hollis passed between two wagons and into her line of sight. Abigail found that her gaze went to him naturally, aware of him even across the camp.

His eyes came up, locking with hers as a smile curled his lips.

You'll be a mother.

Ben's innocent words sent faint heat into her cheeks.

Since the fire, Hollis had been completely different with her. Gone were the walls he'd kept in place, the tight control meant to protect himself—and keep her safe, too.

Last night, he'd needed to meet with some of the captains until late, but he'd taken the time to come to her at the campfire after supper and say goodnight. He'd taken great pleasure in wrapping one strong arm around her waist and kissing her until she'd been breathless and clinging to him.

She'd been asleep when he'd come to his bedroll well after dark, but she'd drowsily felt his tender touch as he adjusted the blanket on her shoulder.

This morning, she'd woken to find herself tucked into the shelter of his embrace. His arm around her middle, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

He'd been awake, the sun already peeking over the horizon, but he'd stayed to hold her. He hadn't run off like before.

She couldn't wait to reach Oregon and have time that was theirs alone. Sleepy mornings sitting across the kitchen table. For now, she'd be content with smiles from across camp, dinners together, and stolen moments.

"Mrs. Abigail, when?" Ben prompted.

The moment of connection with Hollis broken, Abigail turned her attention back to the girl.

"It will happen in God's timing," she said. She felt secure in the knowledge that Hollis loved her, that they were going to have a future together. Even though she wasn't sure if he'd want to keep traversing the trail or find a place in Oregon to live.

Felicity bustled into camp, looking much brighter than she had a few days ago. "Are you bothering Abigail?" she asked of Ben.

"Naw." Ben clapped the covers of the book together. "Can I be finished?"

Felicity and Abigail exchanged a look. "When you reach the end of this section," Felicity said.

Ben hung her head. She sent a sly look at her adopted mother. "Didja know Abigail and Hollis 're gonna have a baby?"

Abigail grimaced as Felicity's brows rose and she turned inquisitive eyes on her friend. "Is that so?" she murmured.

Abigail tucked her cheek against Molly's downy head. "In time."

Felicity's eyes narrowed. "Hmm."

Abigail couldn't meet her friend's probing gaze. Everything with Hollis was so new. She hadn't known how to broach the subject with her friend, though Felicity had no doubt seen the change in Hollis herself.

"So it wasn't a farce?" Felicity asked as she passed by with folded laundry from her basket.

"You were right," Abigail admitted. And couldn't help smiling when Felicity expressed her joy with a little squeal.

"About what?" Hollis's voice gave Abigail a start and she straightened as he joined them, coming to stand behind Ben, close to Abigail's side.

"Just women things," Felicity said breezily. Abigail caught the pointed gaze that meant they would talk later.

"Read with me, Hollis?" Ben begged.

"For a minute," he agreed.

Ben sounded out several words, bright and excited under Hollis's attention.

Hollis let his hand clasp Abigail's, his skin warm and rough against hers. She leaned her shoulder into his side.

This moment was everything she could have dreamed of. Her husband by her side, strong and loving.

He corrected one of Ben's pronunciations and she gusted out a heavy sigh.

"Come and get a snack," Felicity suggested from her nearby wagon.

Ben was all too happy to abandon the primer and scampered off.

"There's coffee in the pot," Abigail said to her husband.

"Thanks." Hollis moved to the still warm coals of the fire, lifted the pot, and poured a cup. When he returned to her, he offered her the cup.

She took a grateful sip and handed it back to him. When he drank from the same place her lips had touched, his eyes met hers above the rim. There was an intimacy to the action, something she'd never shared before.

"I've got to go into the fort. Anything you need? I can probably procure some fabric for a new dress." He'd mentioned yesterday that the dress that had gone into the river with her and spent those difficult days in the wild might need to be replaced.

"Won't it be expensive?" she asked. Everything at the forts seemed priced very dear.

"I've lived years of scrimping and saving—and no one to buy for," he said quietly, his gaze never leaving hers. "It'd bring me joy to provide for you."

How could she say no to that? She let the love rising in her chest show in her face. He came near and brushed a kiss on her forehead, leaving the coffee cup where she could reach it.

"Maddie wants to go into the fort," she told him.

His expression darkened with concern, but he nodded. "I'll find her."

There was only one place to look. With the Miller children. The young nurse had been despondent when the children had lost both mother and father to the typhoid. As the pioneers had needed less care, Maddie had been consumed with caring for the children's needs.

"What will happen to the children?" she asked Hollis now.

"I don't know yet."

She felt the weight of the responsibility on his shoulders. Saw the way he swept his hat off his head and ran his hand through his hair. "Maybe there'll be a family at the fort that can take them in."

Abigail remembered Maddie holding the youngest child, still a toddler, wrapped in a blanket this morning near a campfire. How would Maddie feel if the children were left with a family here?

"I don't know your favorite kind of candy," he muttered as he mashed his hat back on his head.

Her brows quirked. "You don't need to spend any money on candy, sir."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "It seems like the kind of information a husband should know about his wife."

Wife. The word spoken in a teasing growl settled in her heart.

She stood and brushed off her dress, reached up and planted one more kiss on his cheek. "If you must know, lemon candy always makes me smile."

He cupped her cheek for a moment and then let her go. "I'll be back soon."

"I'll be waiting. Husband."

She watched him cross camp. Beyond their safe circle of wagons, the prairie stretched as far as she could see. Enormous. And wild.

There's a rugged beauty to it , Hollis had said so many days ago, when they'd been alone and lost. She knew that in a few weeks, they'd discover tall mountains waiting for them, a breathless beauty she couldn't yet imagine. What would the future hold? She couldn't know, but with Hollis at her side, she would face it with courage.

Hollis and a handful of other travelers were approaching the fort on foot when he noticed another group of wagons sending up a plume of dust. They weren't moving very fast, and he watched for a moment as they began to circle up.

It was a smaller group, and from what he could see, the oxen looked exhausted, dragging. Was the wagonmaster pushing too hard?

"More travelers?" Maddie asked from where she walked a couple of yards away.

"Seems so."

Maddie's eyes skittered over the other wagons and Hollis's mind drifted to Abigail. Where it seemed to want to go every waking second, whether he had business to attend to or not.

Husband . She'd been teasing, but there was a seriousness to the way she'd used the word as a claim.

She was his wife. He was her husband.

Forever.

Everything with her seemed so natural that it felt ridiculous that he'd fought against being with her for so long.

Being with her was easy. It was good. Frighteningly so.

He'd woken this morning from a nightmare where she'd been ripped away from him in the wildfire. It'd taken several minutes for a clear head to prevail, for him to remember the promises that Owen had helped him come to terms with. Remember the goodness of God, who'd brought them together.

It was getting easier to believe in the future he so dearly wanted.

Business complete inside the fort, he joined his fellow travelers at the store, which was crowded and loud.

"Are you the wagonmaster?" A man approached, his hand extended for a handshake. "I'm Will Thatcher. My wagon's been here for ten days for an axle repair. The company my family was traveling with left us behind and we're looking to join up."

For the first time, Hollis noticed a little girl clinging to the man's leg.

Thatcher caught Hollis's curious glance and put his hand on the girls' head. "We lost her mother." he cleared his throat. "Three weeks ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that. We're pulling out in two hours," Hollis said. "One of my captains can meet with you to go over the company rules."

The man nodded with a grateful look, though his smile didn't meet his eyes. Compassion stirred. What a terrible thing to go through.

Hollis found the bolts of fabric and Maddie fingering a calico. She glanced up, then past Hollis. He looked over his shoulder and caught sight of Braddock, who was speaking to a uniformed soldier. As Hollis watched, Braddock slipped several dollar bills into the man's hand.

"Wonder if he mentioned his bribery to Alice," Maddie muttered.

Hollis raised his brows at her.

"He couldn't have convinced the soldiers to come and help us any other way," she said matter-of-factly. "Probably kept it a secret. I myself think it was sharp and efficient. Got us the help we needed."

But Alice wouldn't. Alice was known for her upright morals. Maddie was probably right. Braddock had been tight-lipped about how he'd convinced soldiers to help. Alice didn't seem to know.

Hollis chose a sprigged gingham and had several yards cut for Abigail, imagining the gentle joy on her face when she saw what he'd chosen. He was browsing the glass jars filled with candy when a voice from the past spoke somewhere in the near vicinity.

"—flour so expensive in all my life."

He turned on his heel, his breath caught in his chest.

Peter.

He hadn't seen his brother, two years younger, for several years. The brown skin, so close in color to Hollis's own, and dark mop of close-cropped hair beneath his hat were unmistakable.

"Peter?" His voice was rough when the name passed his lips.

His brother jerked, his head coming up. Looking at him was like looking in a mirror, the image slightly distorted.

"You're all grown up," Hollis fought against the hot ball of emotion that lodged in his chest.

"Hollis? Is it really you?" His brother looked as if he'd seen a ghost, but he stepped closer, only barely glancing at the store proprietor who'd been speaking to him.

Hollis couldn't hold back. He embraced his brother. The hold was too short. He stepped back, looking his brother up and down. Peter appeared worn, tired lines bracketing his mouth.

"Are you traveling with the group that just arrived?"

Peter nodded. He watched Hollis with brows drawn, emotion gathering in his expression as if he'd only just realized that his brother was standing before him in the flesh. "I thought to see you in Independence. I wrote."

The hot ball of emotion lodged itself firmly in Hollis's chest cavity.

"I couldn't," Hollis admitted, eyes down. "I'd left behind everything in my life that had been touched by Dinah's presence?—"

"Including your family." There was a touch of anger in Peter's voice.

"I was wrong to do it." Hollis could see now how deeply he must've hurt his family. "I just... couldn't." He shook his head. Realized they were surrounded by curious patrons, shopping and meddling and listening.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I've missed you." Love for his brother washed over him. Another piece of his life that he'd walled away.

Peter seemed to soften. "The journey has been more difficult than I anticipated. On Phoebe and the children, too."

Children. Peter was married, and had children.

"Can I meet them?" Hollis asked. "I'll bring my wife."

A short time later, he approached the new ring of wagons with Abigail at his side.

Nerves had tied his stomach in a knot, and he couldn't seem to unhinge his jaw or relax it. Or let go of Abigail's hand where he clung to it.

She knew. She jostled their linked hands back and forth. "Everything is going to be fine."

He found her words more reassuring than her telling him not to be nervous. His brother had seemed more amicable toward him by the time Hollis had left him in the store, but he couldn't predict what Peter might say when they came face to face again. Maybe having more time to consider what he'd felt seeing Hollis, Peter might've found his anger again.

Firelight flickered between wagons as Hollis and Abigail approached.

"Uncle Hollis!"

"Unca!"

Two young voices cried out. A boy of about four darted between the conveyances toward them. A second boy, who couldn't have been older than three, toddled behind him.

The boy threw himself forward, forcing Hollis to let go of Abigail and catch the boy in a half-hug, half-hold.

A woman's laughter rang out, and his sister-in-law was silhouetted in the firelight.

"Phoebe," his voice caught again. She'd been five years younger the last time he'd seen her, fresh-faced and so in love with his brother.

Now she looked happy but weary. And she was pregnant with another child.

"Introduce me to your wife, brother." That was the bossy young woman he remembered.

He and Abigail were dragged to the family campfire, where introductions were made all around. Abigail took it all in stride, laughing and smiling with the children, a little shy when introduced to his brother.

Hollis found himself sitting on a crate, with little Elijah on his knee, while Milton regaled Abigail with tales of a weird animal he'd encountered in the woods.

"It sounds terrifying," Abigail said, wide-eyed.

"Tewwifyin'," Elijah echoed.

"Will you settle in Willamette Valley?" Peter asked.

Hollis glanced at Abigail, who was focused on the children but had turned her face slightly to indicate she'd heard the question as well.

They hadn't spoken of the future, not beyond the commitment to honor their marriage vows. "Abigail's brother is waiting for her in Oregon," he said. "We'll want to spend some time with him before we make any definite plans. Abigail has her heart set on starting a bakery."

Phoebe seemed impressed at that idea. Abigail sent him a quick beaming smile before Milton grabbed her hand and stole her attention again.

"It would be lovely to end up as neighbors," Phoebe said.

Hollis looked at his brother, who nodded. "It's been too long since you've been a part of the family."

"Agreed," Hollis said quietly. "If you've a mind to come alongside, there's room for you in our company."

"Not that you'll see Hollis," Abigail teased. "He's busy morning to night charging his captains with the safety of our travelers and seeing to the needs of everyone."

The clear pride in her voice echoed in Peter's expression. His heart was full, watching his wife interact with his nephews. Finding his way back to his family.

God had given him this gift of restoration. Of a new future, one that Hollis never would have chosen but now didn't see how he could live without.