Chapter Twenty

S eth could not remember the last time that he had been at a loss for words and it had certainly never occurred when he was with Frances. Yet, the moment they stepped into the ballroom, he could think of nothing to say. He was also acutely aware of how much they were being watched by others and he feared saying something that might be overheard, misinterpreted or gossiped about. In any other circumstance he wouldn’t care, but he’d not have Frances the subject of gossip. She’d already endured five years as a wallflower and the only way a woman becomes that is if Society puts her there.

He noted that several gentlemen seemed to cast admiring glances her way, yet why had none of them ever asked her to dance or noticed her before? Had they been blind? Though, he should be grateful because if someone would have declared their love and won Franny’s, she would have been lost to him forever.

The waltz had been brutal. Seth had desperately wanted to pull her closer and put his lips to her, then dance right out onto the terrace then disappear behind the foliage where he could kiss her more thoroughly, but he would never disrespect her in that manner.

As it was, Seth could not wait to get her alone in the carriage.

He needed and wanted her and wondered how long he would need to wait before he finally declared himself and asked her to be his wife. The days he was forced to spend apart from Frances had convinced Seth that he never wanted to go a day without her again and hated that he would be forced to be away from London for at least a fortnight.

He knew what he wanted. It was what he had always wanted but was too afraid. His only fear now was that it was too soon to ask for her hand in marriage after only a few weeks when they had been separated for five years.

Maybe he should ask her to accompany him to Laswell. His family certainly would not mind. And, even if they did, Seth did not care because his family would hopefully soon be hers.

A few gentlemen had begun their approach shortly after he and Frances had returned to the side of the room after their waltz and Seth had warned them away. Not in words, but with a glare that had been automatic and not something he had even given thought to. He had not wanted to watch her dance with anyone else. Those gentlemen had five years to claim such and now it was too late.

“Are you always so silent when at a ball?” Frances asked.

“I honestly cannot recall how it was five years ago, but other than the masquerade, I have only attended one and did not remain for long because there was no card room.”

“You did not speak at the masquerade, at least not that I noticed, until you offered to escort me home.”

“That is because I was mesmerized by the beauty wearing a provocative emerald gown,” he whispered in her ear. His reward was the blush upon her cheeks.

“If we are not going to speak, or dance with anyone else, is there any reason why we should remain?”

“An early departure will invite gossip.” Even though he was not certain if that were the case, Seth was not going to take any chances with Frances’ reputation since his was so tarnished.

“I understand that Tessa has invited you to Athena’s Salon,” she said after a moment.

“Yes, she has. I had assumed you had encouraged her to do so.”

“Those decisions are made by Bethany and Tessa,” she answered and Seth couldn’t help the disappointment because he had hoped it was because Frances had wanted him present.

“I will be in attendance tomorrow evening as I am quite curious.”

“I am certain that the deep philosophical discussions of labor law will be riveting,” Frances offered with a slight smile.

“Yes. I am only there for intellectual discourse.” He chuckled.

“We could share another dance,” Frances suggested as couples began to form sets for a country dance.

“We will,” he answered.

“When?”

Was she pouting? It was not like Frances to do so.

Maybe she was simply bored given she usually spent her time at balls standing around and he had not exactly been offering scintillating conversation, which was truly unfair of him. He should not have warned the other gentlemen away, but he also could not stand the idea of her dancing with anyone else.

“When?” she asked again with a bit more force.

Seth grinned. “The supper waltz, of course.”

“Oh,” she said slowly. “Two waltzes will only cause speculation and gossip,” Frances warned.

“I hope that it does.” He grinned then stepped aside to retrieve two more glasses of wine, one he handed to Frances as they watched the couples on the dance floor.

The only difference between this ball and the others that she had attended since she arrived in London was that she was carrying on a conversation, somewhat, with Seth instead of another wallflower, and she had been asked to dance.

It had been a lovely waltz and pangs of guilt struck her conscience. Tomorrow Society would believe they were courting and likely anticipate a betrothal. Tomorrow night, Seth would leave Athena’s Salon hoping never to see her again. He might even hate her.

This was not the first time that she had entertained such thoughts and doubts as to her plan.

Frances reminded herself that he had wanted to keep her a secret before and then pretend like they did not know one another when she did come to London. Tonight, he practically made claim to her, which would cause tongues to wag.

Had he changed?

Was there truly hope for love?

Except, he was returning home, to a family she already knew, and had not asked her along when he had wanted her to travel north to a horse race. He courted her, but made no declaration of a possible future, and Frances became even more confident that Seth wanted her in his life, as she had been while waiting for him at the cottage, but nothing of a permanent nature. He may even try to make her his lover, a mistress, but not a wife, and the reason she must bring everything to an end.

She had loved him like this before and to her surprise had never stopped loving him, regardless of what he had done. He had been her dearest friend and he had crushed her soul, which was the very reason she was so afraid to allow herself to be in love with him.

Even if Seth got down on bended knee and asked her to be his wife at this very moment with a ballroom of witnesses watching on, Frances still was not certain she could fully trust that he would remain by her side in the future. He was a rogue and who was to say he would not tire of her? Or worse, be disappointed and send her to the country to wait for him as she had for ten years while she waited and hoped that he would visit.

Except, she would not allow him to do so. She had gained her freedom from an aunt and uncle and was not going to be ruled by anyone else. Not even a husband.

He also had no right to assume that she would so easily fall back into his arms. A simple “I am sorry, I was wrong” was not good enough, especially since he had five years to correct his mistake and was only with her tonight because they saw the other at the theatre and then at the masquerade. Had they not, she would likely be at home with Bethany and he would be at The Emerald Garter, or with a mistress, or whatever he had done with his evenings these past five years.

Seth had only changed his mind because he saw her. He did not seek her out and Frances still was not certain of his intentions other than he desired her.

Fueled with a reminder of her purpose, she allowed him to escort her onto the dance floor when the strains of the supper waltz began. Yes, she would enjoy this dance and being in his arms. She would acknowledge that her body craved his even if she wasn’t certain what the end result of passion was, nor would she ever learn. He did not deserve her and she also feared that her love would grow deeper if that were to occur.

When she glanced up, he was watching her with concern.

“Is all well, Franny?” he asked quietly.

She forced a smile. “Everything is perfect.”