Chapter 5

Five

C elia snuggled into her bed, pulling her blankets up to her chest as she reveled in the evening's magic. She had long held a tender for the first snow of the season, but had never enjoyed so thoroughly before. Despite the cold, she would have remained outdoors all night so long as Jasper was at her side.

Rosie had seen to it she had a warm bath and hot tea when she returned to the house, but it was thoughts of Jasper that truly warmed Celia. She simply could not stop thinking about him and the possibility of a future together.

She turned to Rosie, who sat nearby, fretting. "There really is no reason for you to stay with me."

Rosie turned an incredulous stare on her. "Someone has to watch for a fever. You may have caught your death."

Celia waved a hand dismissively. "Do not be so dramatic, Rosie."

"You came in frozen to the marrow. Far less has caused a fever. I am scarcely being dramatic," Rosie said. "And shame Lord Crawford for allowing it," she added.

Celia pushed her covers back and swung her legs over the side of her bed.

"What are you about now?" Rosie asked, her brow furrowed.

Celia slid from the bed and started toward her private sitting room. "I need to write Lord Crawford a letter."

Rosie stood and followed Celia. "What you need to do is rest."

"Rubbish." Celia said, dismissing the idea. "I am perfectly well and shall remain as such." She ignored the rest of Rosie's protests and settled into the chair at her writing desk before taking a quill in hand.

I have been sufficiently thawed.

CK

Celia folded the scrap of parchment and held it out to Rosie. "Go slip this under Lord Crawford's door."

"I most certainly will not." Rosie crossed her arms over her bosom.

Celia heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Very well, I will do it myself." She pulled her wrapper tight and strode toward the door.

Rosie raced to get in front of her. "Stubborn girl. Give it to me. You cannot go trapping about the house in your nightclothes during a house party. It seems you are determined to ruin yourself. I will not allow it."

Celia held the note close to her body. "Everyone is abed. No one will see me."

Rosie held out her hand. "I will deliver it," she said, exasperation in her tone.

Celia grinned with victory, then said, "Thank you, Rosie."

She held the note out, and Rosie took it, then stepped into the hall. She turned back to Celia and said, "I expect to find you in bed when I return."

"If I am in bed, will you agree to retire to your own room so that I may rest without your gaze upon me?" Celia asked hopefully. "It is rather disconcerting to be watched so closely."

"I will bring you some fresh tea," Rosie replied before striding down the hall.

Celia returned to her bed, but she had no hope of sleeping. Her mind was far too occupied with thoughts and memories. Before long, Rosie returned with the promised tea. Celia accepted a cup and sipped from it as she considered how she might get Rosie to leave her alone. Before long, her thoughts returned to Jasper.

"Did Lord Crawford get the note?"

Rosie looked up from the book she was reading. "I suspect so. I slipped it beneath his door as you requested." She narrowed her gaze at Celia. "How is it you have gone from despising the man to writing him clandestine letters?"

"There was nothing clandestine about it," Celia said.

Rosie closed her book with a thud. "All of this time, I thought you held a grudge because the Marquess poked fun at you when the coach was stuck. Now I think far more transpired between the two of you. What exactly happened last spring? And why have you forgiven him now?"

Celia pressed her lips together and sank back against her pillows.

"If you tell me, I will retire to my room and let you sleep without my fussing over you."

Celia could not refuse Rosie's offer. She pinned her gaze to the ceiling and considered where to start. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"I believe in attraction at first sight," Rosie replied.

"No." Celia shook her head. "Attraction is different. That is animalistic and easy to satisfy. I am talking about something much more profound. The desire to be near someone, to delight in the smallest attentions and have your heart squeeze with pain when they are not near. The simple joy in having them close and deep satisfaction in the simplest of touches. An undeniable pull toward another soul." Celia blew out a breath. "A connection that seems to exist for no reason at all, but is there non-the-less."

"Are you trying to tell me you are in love with Lord Crawford?"

"Perhaps, but that is not what I was trying to say."

"Then I must confess to being confused." Rosie leaned forward and propped her chin on her fists. "What were you trying to convey?"

"That day last spring, I remember thinking Lord Crawford was the most handsome man I had ever seen. But it was more than that. I felt a pull toward him. A connection, unlike anything I could have imagined before."

Rosie huffed a breath. "You could have fooled me."

"That was the point," Celia said. "It startled me. I choose to ignore it and cover the feelings with anger instead. I was so frustrated, and he did not help with his contradictory words and then the way he took charge, and all of you did exactly as he commanded. It was easy to allow my vexation to cover what I was feeling."

Celia turned when she heard the shuffle of feet outside the door. Her heart somersaulted when she saw a letter slide into her chamber.

"Stay in bed." Rosie held up her hand as she stood from the chair to retrieve the note.

Celia's heart pounded while she waited for Rosie to give her the parchment. The moment Celia's fingers closed on the carefully folded square, she opened it. Then grinned at the words scribbled on the parchment.

I should like to see for myself.

JC

"What does it say?"

Celia's smile grew, warmth spreading through her. "Nothing important."

"I very much doubt that." Rosie settled back into the chair. "But at the moment, I am more interested in the past. I cannot imagine that you came to detest Lord Crawford simply because you were drawn to him."

"Indeed, not." Celia tucked the note behind her pillow and continued with the tale. "It was after we dinned and you went above stairs to rest. I joined Lord Crawford in the parlor for a game of cards. We were having a fine time of it, talking and jesting. We grew tired of the game and went to sit by the hearth."

"You should have gone to bed," Rosie mused.

"He kissed me." Celia felt her cheeks warm at the confession.

"He what?" Rosie turned wide eyes on Celia. "Are you ruined? There will be hell to pay when the duke learns of this. That is why the color drained from your face when you saw him again. We have to?—"

"Stop." Celia held out her hand, palm first. "I am not ruined. We kissed, and a little more, but when he hiked up my skirts, I stopped him."

"Thank the good lord!" Rosie exclaimed. "Then what?"

"Then I told him I was a lady and would not lose my virtue outside of the marriage bed." She sighed. "He stood and strode across the room before turning back to me and announcing that he would never marry. I scolded him, called him a rogue and a scoundrel, and told him he was unfit for my presence or that of any other lady. I said other things, and so did he, but they are too terrible to repeat. Regardless, I was glad he did not bother to wave us off, and never planned to see him again."

"Good for you," Rosie said. "But now? Why is he here?" Her voice rose as she went on. "Why are you welcoming him?"

Celia turned onto her side and cuddled her extra pillow. "Now, he is completely different. He has proposed to me multiple times and refuses to kiss me. He insists he made a mistake and wants me at his side."

Rosie leaned forward and took Celia's hand. "That is a comfort, but surely you do not trust him."

"I did not. I was furious to discover Lord Crawford here." Celia got out of bed again and went back to her desk. "I even told him to leave, but he refused and insisted on getting to know me better. He wishes to court me properly." She turned to Rosie. "I am glad of it because now I know he cares for me. I suspect he felt the same bond that I did when we met. It has to be love, Rosie. What else could it be?"

"Madness," Rosie said, shaking her head. "You scarcely know him."

"I know enough." Celia smiled. "I know he sought a way to find me. That he donated a substantial sum of money to Julia's charity to get an invitation to the house party. I know he has refused to kiss me despite my invitations. And I know he has asked me to marry him more than once." She turned back to her desk and crafted her reply.

Then she held the parchment out to Rosie. "I know he makes me laugh and has a strange way of seeing right through me. He understands me and enjoys my mischief. And I know his kisses light me on fire. I am going to marry him."

Rosie took the letter. "I hope you do not come to regret your choice."

Celia squeezed Rosie's hand around the letter. "One cannot go wrong when they follow their heart."