Chapter 2

Two

C ordelia blew out a slow breath as the library door clicked shut behind Nathaniel. She had not considered how he might react to what they had done, but if she had… Well, she certainly would not have expected him to be angry.

The man was a rogue, a confirmed bachelor. He made it clear to all of society that he had no wish to marry. For Heaven's sake, he should be pleased with her refusal. So why wasn't he?

Cordelia gathered her hair at the back of her head and repined it.

She'd wager nothing more than his pride stung. After all, what lady in her right mind would turn down a proposal from Viscount Wolverton, the future Earl of Holloway? But then, that was the problem. He hadn't truly proposed.

Leastwise, not because he wanted her for his wife. No. He had proposed for no other reason than honor. In his mind, he had ruined her and therefore had to marry her. She'd have none of it.

If Cordelia married, it would be for love. There had been a time when she'd wanted nothing more than a husband and children, but love had always been the binding factor. She did not want a marriage without love.

Certainly not to a rogue who would leave her devastated. And she knew marriage to Nathaniel would do just that.

"Are you mad!" a female voice exclaimed.

Cordelia jumped, then pivoted around to face the unknown lady. Her cheeks burned at the realization that this woman had been in the library the whole time. Good God, she knew what Cordelia had done. Her stomach roiled as her body went weak.

The other woman approached her, kindness in her gaze. "Do not fret. Your secret is safe with me." She gave a warm smile. "I assure you, I am no gossip."

Cordelia drew in a steadying breath. She hoped beyond hope she could indeed trust the woman. And though she suspected she could, it did little to ease her mortification.

"I am Lady Celia Kendal, sister of the Duke of Selkirk." She gave a curtsey. "And you are?"

For a moment, Cordelia thought to lie. After all, this woman could not betray her if she did not know her true identity. But then it occurred to her that their paths would likely cross again. It would not take much for the lady to discover her true identity.

Resigned, she said, "Lady Cordelia Daventry," then dipped her own curtsey.

The lady looped her arm through Cordelia's and grinned. "I have the feeling we will be grand friends." She angled her head a fraction, one blond curl brushing her cheek. "Why, we already have something in common. Both of our names start with the letter C, and we both escaped the ball."

She led Cordelia toward a cluster of chairs near the fireplace. "Come, let us become better acquainted. I am simply dying with curiosity."

Lady Celia released Cordelia's arm and lowered herself onto an overstuffed armchair. "Why did you refuse the Viscount's proposal?" She pressed her lips together as Cordelia sat, then continued, "You needn't tell me if you do not wish to. I know I am being rather forward. Mother would have a fit and tell me that my behavior is beyond the pale." Lady Celia shook her head. "Personally, I think curiosity is human nature. And besides, we are friends now, are we not?"

Cordelia could not help but smile at the vivacious lady. "Indeed, we are," she agreed. "And to answer your question, the Viscount does not love me."

"But you love him?" Lady Celia asked, one golden brow arched in speculation.

Cordelia shook her head. "I scarcely know him. We have been neighbors for all our lives but have never had a genuine conversation. What happened here…" Her words trailed off as her cheeks burned.

"Was a mistake?" Lady Celia prompted.

"No." Cordelia shook her head. She would not regret what she'd done. Every scandalous moment was burned into her mind, and she would cherish the memory. "I would not call it a mistake. It was… We…" She pressed her eyes closed for a heartbeat as she gathered her thoughts. "I do not know what I would call it, but I have no regrets."

"Still, you do not wish to marry him?" Lady Celia stared at her, disbelief in her gaze.

"I do not." Cordelia toyed with a fold in her skirt. "I am a spinster, you see. My hopes for a husband faded long ago. But I am still a woman. I wanted to know what it felt like to be with a man. And I do find Lord Wolverton to be quite handsome." She tipped her head back and frowned as she looked at the plaster ceiling. "What you must think of me. Surely I appear to be quite the tart."

Lady Celia wrapped her hand around Cordelia's and said, "I think nothing of the sort."

Cordelia returned her gaze to Lady Celia's and warmed at the sincerity in her eyes. She could not say why, but the words unspoken meant a great deal to her, and she knew she'd found a friend worth having. "Thank you."

"As for the Viscount. He is a friend of my brother's, and while I'll grant you his reputation does little to recommend him, I have seen his outstanding qualities first hand. He is rather funny and always willing to help someone else. Lord Wolverton has a kind and gentle nature, as well. You may wish to reconsider."

"Certainly not," Cordelia said with conviction. "I would never trap myself in a loveless marriage. Nor would I ask it of him."

"You could grow to love each other," Lady Celia said, her voice ringing with optimism. "Clearly the two of you share something… Fondness, attraction… I do not know, but whatever you share could grow into love."

Cordelia sighed. "I suppose there is always a chance, but doubt the odds are in my favor. Regardless, I am not the gambling sort."

Lady Celia nodded her understanding. "In that case, you have my support, as well as my discretion. Let us return to the ball."

Cordelia swallowed past the lump in her throat. She did not know how she would return to the ball given what she and Nathaniel had done, but supposed she must.

Still, how was she to rejoin the guests and act as though nothing was amiss when everything had changed? Would the other wallflowers and spinsters even notice if she seemed a bit off? Mother certainly would.

As if Lady Cordelia had read her mind, she said, "You will join my party. I cannot wait to introduce you to my sister-in-law, the Duchess of Selkirk. You and Julia will get along splendidly, I'm sure. And my brother is in attendance too, though he is probably in the card room. Do say you will join us?"

Cordelia smiled as she rose from the chair. "I would be delighted."

N athaniel threw down his cards. His mind was not in the game. Try as he might, it kept roaming back to Cordelia. She had bewitched him. Intrigued him. Her silken skin and breathy moans had branded him, and he had no desire to let her go.

"What gives?" The Duke of Selkirk scowled.

Nathaniel pushed back his chair and stood. "Nothing, I just don't feel like cards."

Sir Worthington sat his tumbler down with a decided thump. "You could at least finish the hand." He scowled.

"Very well." Nathaniel reached for his cards and turned them over. "I lose." He nodded his head. "Good evening, gentlemen."

By the time Nathaniel reached the hall, Selkirk was at his side. His friend clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, "Slow down."

Nathaniel shot him a glance, but did not slow his pace. He was determined to seek Cordelia out and have his say. Though what he wished to tell her, he did not know. All he knew was that they were not finished.

"What has you in such a prickly state?" Selkirk asked.

"I just didn't feel like losing any more blunt."

"Indeed, I lost my fair share as well, and the duchess is probably missing me."

"I'd wager it's the other way around," Nathaniel teased. "Perhaps you should go to her."

Selkirk chuckled. "Join me?"

"Indeed." Nathaniel turned down the hall leading to the ballroom. Once he'd greeted the duchess, he would excuse himself and seek Cordelia.

He did not have to look very hard. Nathaniel and Selkirk found the duchess with little effort, and Cordelia was at her side. Nathaniel's pulse increased at the sight of her. His chest squeezing in an unfamiliar way.

Cordelia frowned when Nathaniel approached, but quickly forced a smile when he bowed over her hand. It was clear that she had no wish to spend more time in his company. However, he refused to be ignored.

He stared deep into her eyes. "I believe this is our dance."

"You are mistaken," Cordelia said, a deceptively sweet smile on her bow-shaped lips.

Nathaniel glanced at the dance floor, then back to her. "In that case, may I have the honor of this dance?"

She hesitated, and he captured her hand. Nathaniel pulled her away from the duke and duchess. And after he'd propelled her to the dance floor, he collected her in his arms, pressing her close.

"What the devil is wrong with you?" Cordelia seethed as he held his hand firm against the small of her back.

"I could ask you the same question," he said. "In fact, it would be better suited to you."

"How so?" She arched one sable eyebrow in question.

"You are being defiant while I am attempting to be honorable." He gave a roguish grin and delighted at the color that blossomed across her high cheekbones. "I will offer one more time, Cordelia. Think hard before you turn me down."

"I have nothing to think about." She narrowed her gaze as he led her around the dance floor. "No one save for us knows what happened. There is no reason for marriage."

"Should you decide to marry in the future, your husband will know. I cannot believe he will take kindly to the discovery."

Her breath caught, and a deep flush spread across her chest and up her neck. Anger flared in her blue eyes. "It is none of your business," she said through clenched teeth.

"In fact, it is my business. I am the man who ruined you. It is my duty to marry you, and so, I will ask again…" His words trailed off as he leaned closer.

Her breath hitched, and he swore he saw a flash of something soft in her gaze. Some emotion he could not put a name to. Then it was gone as quick as it had come. He whispered in her ear, "Cordelia, marry me."

"No." She met his gaze for a moment, then looked away. "And I beg of you to cease asking, for my answer will not change." She brought her eyes back to his. "You are under no obligation to me. You owe me nothing. I release you from any responsibility."

"I never thought you to be daft." He slid his hand up her back and drew her closer. "But, you are making me wonder if my assessment of you has been all wrong. Think of the future, Cordelia."

She stiffened. "I have, and I do not wish to find myself shackled to you. If I marry, it will be to an honorable man and because we are in love. I will never marry a rogue."

Her words sliced through him. She found him lacking—not good enough to marry. He released her. "Then you have made your choice."

"I have," she said, her voice firm.

"Very well. I shall not ask again." Nathaniel turned and strode for the exit.

He pushed the hurt of her rejection into the recesses of his soul. He would accept her refusal for the gift it was. His conscience would remain clear, and he would carry on enjoying his freedom. It was to his benefit.

Where she was concerned—that well may be a different matter, but she'd made her choice. Hell, he'd proposed multiple times. There was nothing more he could do.

Nothing more he wanted to do. Not where Cordelia was concerned.

He would not dwell on her. She got whatever it was she had wanted—perhaps an adventure for the spinster—and he got to maintain his bachelorhood.

They had both won.

So why did he feel the heavy weight of loss?