Chapter 12

Twelve

B y the time Auntie, The Dowager Duchess, Julia, and Celia entered Constantine's room, her eyes were swollen and stinging. She could not say how long she'd lain across her bed sobbing, but despite the constant ache in her chest, no more tears fell.

Her throat was tight and raw, and her body exhausted as she pushed herself to sit, then pulled her knees close to her chest. She met Julia's warm gaze and said, "I'm sorry," her voice trembling.

Julia gave a warm smile as she came to sit beside Constantine on the bed. "You have no cause to be." Julia wrapped her arm around Constantine's shoulders. "You did nothing wrong."

"I embarrassed you." Constantine's shoulders shook on a fresh round of sobs. "And I embarrassed myself and Auntie too."

"Rubbish," Auntie said, waving a dismissive hand. "The footman was distracted, he admitted to gawking at a nearbymaid. The whole thing was an accident."

Constantine shook her head. "I seem to cause a greatmany of those." Her lips quivered. "And now I've ruined everything."

It mattered not that the footman had been woolgathering. His actions did not negate hers. She'd still been in a hurry and failed to pay mind to what she was doing. The resulting calamity and embarrassment were hers, and hers alone.

"We saw Gulliver chasing after you," Celia said.

The Dowager Duchess sat on the padded brocade chair beside the bed. "He came back looking rather distraught. Crestfallen, if I dare say so."

Constantine's heart squeezed, for she knew she'd hurt him. She never should have given him hope. Never should have agreed to marry him.

And she most certainlyshould not have allowed herself to believe in happily ever after. She was a wretch.

Worse, it broke her heart.

And worse still, she'd broken his.

She dropped her head into the cradle of her knee's and sniffled.

Julia rubbed her back in a gentle, soothing motion. "He love's you."

"I k-know," Constantine sobbed into her gown covered knees, "B-but he doesn't understand."

"What doesn't he understand?" Auntie asked.

"That I'd r-ruin him," Constantine's voice shook as she forced the words past her tight throat. "T-turn him into an l-laughingstock."

"He does a fine job of that on his own," Celia said, her tone broking no argument.

Auntie took hold of Constantine's chin and brought her head upuntil their gazes met. "Has he asked for your hand?" Her cornflower-blue gaze searched Constantine's eyes.

Constantine nodded.

"How marvelous!" Auntie beamed. "I'll give my consent at once." She gave a firm nod, then added, "See, darling, you've no reason for tears."

Constantine shook her head, "I cannot marry him."

"Why ever not?" The Dowager asked. Without awaiting a reply, she continued, "He is a dashing man. Perhaps a bit of a flirt, but he's merely enjoying himself. He has wrought a path of scandal and gossip through the years, but I assure you he's never harmed a soul. He'd be a wonderful husband."

Constantine dashed away her tears and straightened her shoulders. "That is why I cannot marry him. He needs a proper lady at his side. One who is adept at society life and won't cause him shame."

She met Auntie's worried gaze. "Did you know they call me Lady Disaster? I heard them after the tray fell as I was attempting to help clean up."

"You needn't worry about those ill-mannered women." Julia squeezed Constantine's shoulders, hugging her close. "I told them how ghastly they were, then sent them packing."

"Indeed," the Dowager Duchess gave a firm nod, "Their carriages are being brought round as we speak. I also shared some choice words with their parents and let them know that none of them were welcome in my presence again."

"You didn't have to do that. Not on my account." Constantine pushed the tendrils of hair that had come loose from her cheeks. "I never wished to cause you any trouble."

"You haven't," The Dowager Duchess said.

"Absolutely not," Celia added.

Constantine heaved a sigh. "I wish I could say the same for Lord Gulliver."

"You can." Auntie brightened. "You need only to accept his proposal, then all will be well."

"No." Constantine shook her head. "I could never fit into his world. Never be the Marchioness he needs."

"Darling, listen to reason?—"

"If I may," Julia interjected.

Auntie gave a nod of approval, then pressed her lips together as Julia began speaking.

"I've told you something about myself and how I came to be the Duchess, but I should like to share the rest of my story." She exchanged a look with the Dowager Duchess. "If I may?"

The Dowager gave a nod, accompanied by a slight grin.

Julia drew in a breath. "I was sent to London to be a prostitute."

Constantine's eyes rounded, and Celia inhaled sharply. Julia held up a staying hand, then continued. "We were very poor, and my father had abandoned us. I was an innocent with no inclination of my mother's plan. Not until I arrived at the... ah hem," she cleared her throat, "establishment."

She closed her eyes as she continued. "It terrified me, I was innocent, and alone. I didn't know what to do or where to go, but I couldn't accept such a fate."

"My word," Auntie exclaimed, then pressed her hand to her lips.

Julia inhaled a steadying breath. "I ran. Ran for my life, ran for my morals, ran right out of the place. The madam sent her men after me. They yelled as they chased after me, and my heart pounded so fast I thought I might die. Then, he was there. Charles wrapped his arms around me, and I begged him to help. He didn't know the first thing about me, and I knew nothing about him. Still, he took mercy on me. He swept me off to his carriage…"

She looked at Constantine before she spoke again. "That is where I first met Gulliver."

"Then what happened," Constantine asked.

"Charles brought me here and offered me the position of companion to Celia." Julia turned a warm smile on the Dowager Duchess.

She smiled back, her gaze sparkling. "Then Celia and I taught Julia how to be a lady and survive in society. It wasn't long before my son recognized what a charming girl she was and swept her off her feet."

"I am glad everything worked out for you," Constantine said, forcing a smile.

Julia held her gaze and said, "My point is, everything can work out for you and Gulliver, too."

"I wish I believed that, but I cannot." Constantine traced the filigree design of the bedspread with her finger. "The risk is too great, and I shouldn't like to make him regret his actions. He'd come to despise me."

She stared at Auntie, imploring her to take pity. "Please, Auntie, take me home." Constantine's lips quivered, a fresh batch of moisture collecting in her eyes.

Auntie stood, and Constantine's throat tightened, her chest aching. She needed to get out of here. To be far away from Seth and given the opportunity to heal. Most importantly, she didn't want to cause Seth anymore pain. "Please, Auntie."

Auntie's shoulders slumped in defeat or resignation, Constantine wasn't sure which. Then she said, "If that is your wish. We will leave in the morning after breaking our fast."

Constantine nodded. Tomorrow wasn't too far away. She would survive.