Chapter 14

FOURTEEN

Bella grinned as Falcon’s hands tightened on her hips, holding her up. “Seriously, I was so mad at you, but that was the best thing ever.”

He broke out into a grin, a happy, dimpled grin that was so cute she almost started giggling. “Glad I could be helpful.”

“Helpful?” She rolled her eyes. “That was amazing.”

His smile widened. “Want to go again?”

She grimaced. “God, no. Never again.” Her giddiness faded as he stared at her, emotion etched on his handsome face. She realized how good his hands felt on her hips, how close their faces were to each other. All she’d have to do was lean in and?—

No. She couldn’t kiss him. That would change everything between them. She needed him being her friend, not a man her heart wanted.

But she didn’t let go.

And neither did he.

Words faded until it was just them. “I—” She stopped.

“You what?” he asked, his voice rough.

She wasn’t okay enough to start anything with him, or anyone. But especially him. She wouldn’t mess with him or their relationship. There could be no one-night stand with Falcon. If she crossed that line with him, knowing how he felt about her, knowing how susceptible she was to him, it would be a mistake on so many levels. And cruel, to him, and also to herself. “I can’t,” she whispered.

“Can’t what?”

“Kiss you. Start anything. I’m not there.”

He shifted his grip on her hips, not letting her down. “Empty sex maybe? No emotions. No traps. Just raw, sweaty sex?”

She started laughing. “I’m not built for empty sex. Especially not with you.”

“Because I’m the man of your dreams.”

“You were the man of my dreams, back when I dreamed about falling in love.” She lowered her legs from his hips, and he released her in a slow, sensual slide down his body. “Now I dream of independence, purpose, and freedom.”

He caught her chin as she started to turn away. “Bella?—”

She held her breath, her heart racing. If he kissed her, she wouldn’t stop him. “What?”

“I’m a grown man. I’ve been through hell and back a whole ton of times. Don’t worry about hurting me. You don’t need to protect me from you. If you want this—” He gestured back and forth between them. “—to be something more, and then you decide you need to walk away, I can handle it.”

She stared at him, her heart suddenly racing. Had he read her mind? “I would never do that to you.”

He raised his brows. “Try it. See if I die.”

“Try what?” She paused. “Kissing you?”

He nodded.

She started laughing and put her hands on her hips. “Is this the same approach you used to get me in the airplane? Some sort of warped, reverse psychology?”

“No, I was genuinely planning to ban you from jumping with someone else.” He let his hands drop by his sides. “Are you scared to kiss me?”

She swallowed. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I might like it too much.”

“And then what?”

“I might give up everything to move to the ranch and be your little wife and cook for dude ranch guests for the rest of my life.”

“So, you’re not scared of me. You’re scared of yourself. You don’t believe that you will make the choices your soul needs.”

Her mouth opened to protest, and then she closed it. He was right. She shrugged, at a loss for words.

He sighed. “Bella, you have survived so much. You chose living on the ranch and cooking for the guests because that is what fit you at that time. If it doesn’t fit you, you won’t choose it.”

She put her hands on her hips. “How do you know?”

“Because I was there the day you showed up under the bridge. I heard how you ended up there. The choices you had to make to protect yourself.” He tapped her chest, over her heart. “That courageous girl is still in there. You might have lost sight of her, but she’s still in there. That’s why you’re out in Boston. Because you will never give up on yourself. Ever.”

Sudden tears filled her eyes. His faith in her was stunning. His words took her back to her sixteen-year-old self, that awful night when everything changed for her. When she had to grow up so fast.

He kissed her forehead and pulled her in for a hug.

She let herself dissolve into his strength, burying her face in his chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist. She didn’t want to cry. She never let herself cry. But it felt so good in his arms, and she felt like she didn’t have to be strong anymore. She could just stop trying so hard and lean on him with her whole soul.

He kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek against her hair, still hugging her. Not a sexual overture. More like a giant, armed teddy bear who would never abandon her, never let her forget who she was and what she could accomplish.

She squeezed her eyes shut, breathing in the scent of his body. Woodsy, faint spice, and maybe pine. Familiar. Safe. “I want to stay in your arms forever, but that makes me weak.”

“It doesn’t make you weak,” he said quietly. “Knowing how to fuel yourself for the challenges ahead is critical for success. Sometimes the fuel you need is sleep. Sometimes it’s food. Exercise. Meditation. And sometimes, it’s simply allowing a moment to let down your guard, connect with someone close to your heart, and let yourself feel safe.”

And loved.

She also felt loved.

Not simply loved as part of a big family, but loved all by herself.

She pulled back, lifted her face to his, and then before she could think about it, she slid her hands behind his head, pulled him down toward her, and kissed him.