Chapter 23

Baskingin the aftermath of their lovemaking, Lucas stared at the ceiling, his arm around Maddie, listening to her breathe.

They had only a few moments before they had to get up, but neither of them was moving.

They weren"t talking.

They were simply lying there, tangled up in full pretzel-style. Maddie"s face was pressed into his neck, and he was playing with her hair, while Violet breathed on them both.

It was a simple intimacy, a peace he"d never experienced before. "How do you feel right now, Maddie?"

"At peace."

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Same."

"How do two people who carry such shadows create peace when they"re together?" She began to trace designs on his chest, which he loved. "Shouldn't it be worse when we"re together? Like we feed off each other?"

"It depends on the people. I"ve known plenty of people who set me off."

"Me, too." She nestled closer. "After Adam, I truly believed I would never want to be with a man again. All I wanted was to build myself up to be so strong and independent that I"d never want a man, so I"d never sacrifice for a man again. For anyone."

He swore silently. Her words were no doubt meant to express that she trusted him, but he read the subtext that she hadn"t even intended: that knowing as he did how important her life in Boston was, even if she were to decide to leave it for him, he couldn't let that happen, because she"d be making a choice to honor someone else instead of herself. Again.

Dammit. His job was to protect her, not to tempt her into betraying herself.

Regret filled Lucas. Not regret that he"d met her, but that it hadn"t been under different circumstances, ones that weren"t so damned complicated.

They made it downstairs,dressed, before her dad arrived, but it was only minutes before Maddie saw a pickup truck approaching Lucas"s house.

She was sitting on the couch, watching out the picture window for her dad. Instinct made her tense when she saw a pickup truck approaching, even though she knew that Jacob wouldn't be driving up to the door.

Her dad got out of the passenger seat, stepping down gingerly, but with a fierceness and determination she hadn"t seen in a long time. He limped to the house as a man in a cowboy hat got out of the driver"s side and followed him.

Lucas was already opening the door by the time she got there. "Any problems, Tristan?"

He didn"t greet her dad directly, and she could feel his tension.

"No one came after him," Tristan said, his voice equally cool, clearly not discussing how her dad had behaved otherwise.

Crap. They weren"t happy with her dad. Why would they be? He crossed the line with someone they loved.

Her dad limped in, and he looked angry as he looked for her. His gaze lit on Maddie. "We need to talk in private."

Maddie couldn't believe the tension between all the men. Her dad had loved Adam even though Adam was an ass. And now her dad had been the ass with Lucas and his family, even though they were trying to keep her and her dad safe.

Men were such pains in the butt. This was why she didn"t want one.

She ignored her dad"s request for privacy and walked over to Tristan. He was tall, taller than Lucas. The cowboy hat made him look rough and rugged, but his jeans were of a quality that most cowboys didn"t wear. He wore more money than Lucas did, but he still looked like a man who"d get dirty for his horses on a regular basis.

He was handsome and attractive, but he didn"t touch her soul the way Lucas did. "Hi," she said, extending her hand. "My name"s Maddie Vale. Thank you for taking care of my dad and supporting Lucas in trying to keep me alive. I appreciate it very much."

Tristan"s face morphed into a warm smile, and he shook her hand, his grip warm and reassuring. "Maddie. Great to meet you. We"re all so glad that you"re here."

She relaxed into his friendliness, and she felt Lucas put his hand on her lower back, providing even more welcome.

She saw Tristan notice Lucas"s hand on her back, and his gaze shot to Lucas. He searched his brother"s face, and then understanding flickered in his eyes as Tristan looked back at Maddie, speculation gleaming in his eyes. "You like the ranch?"

"It"s beautiful," she said honestly. "I saw Hart Pond. I loved it."

Tristan nodded. "It"s a healing energy. I swim there every morning."

"Maddie," her dad said again. "We need to talk."

Irritation tightened Maddie"s shoulders. This was the man she loved with all of her soul, and yet she couldn"t bring herself to deal with him. Was she a terrible person? Probably. "I"m sorry if my dad was a pain in the butt," she said to Tristan. "He"s obsessed with Jacob. Guilt for leaving him there. It"s been tearing him up all this time. He"s desperate to look Jacob in the eye and apologize."

"Maddie!" Her dad spoke sharply, but his voice was low. Remembering now that raising his voice to Maddie was never allowed.

Tristan"s gaze flicked to her dad. "Don"t let your emotions make you do stupid things, Huck. Be better than that."

Maddie had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Her dad was a freaking badass, and she found it hilarious that Tristan had just spoken to him like he was a teenage idiot.

But to her surprise, her dad didn"t respond. He simply stared at Tristan silently. Plotting his revenge? Or listening to sage advice from a man who"d probably faced the same level of trauma that everyone else in the room had? Maybe he"d experienced even more.

Tristan turned his attention back to Maddie and Lucas. "You want people inside your house? Dylan has some posted outside and around the property. We"re expecting Les to show up here. If he found you guys once, he"ll find you again."

Maddie bit her lip. "Why does he want me?"

Tristan shook his head. "We don"t know yet. We"re guessing he"s pissed because we killed his half-brother, but it could be more than that. If he knows Jacob cares about you, the best way to hurt Jacob is to hurt you. We have his family under tight protection, and the rest of the Harts are all on alert. We"re ready, but we don"t know what he"ll do or how strong an attack he"ll mount."

Maddie stared at him. "You"re very calm about this."

Tristan shrugged. "Many people would like to cause us harm. We"re committed to keep living fully, regardless. Les might not come after us for months. Or ever. We can"t hide just because he"s out there."

His words sank deep. She"d spent her whole life being worried that a faceless bogeyman would come to get her, and the Harts just went about their normal business.

Maybe that was because the Harts were able to set up all the safeguards, and knew they could handle it.

But her dad had taught her to protect herself. She wasn"t a victim.

"Maddie." Her dad came up behind her. "I need a word."

There was an edge to his voice that got her attention, and she turned to look at him. His eyes were focused and sharp, and he jerked his head toward the stairs. "Walk with me." He was acting like the FBI agent she"d once known. A man who would never stand down. The man she used to feel so safe with whenever she"d have a nightmare and crawl into his bed when she was a little girl.

"Dad," she whispered. "It"s good to have you back."

He nodded at Lucas and Tristan. "I"m going to have a word with Maddie. We"ll head upstairs."

Lucas waited for Maddie to give a nod before he agreed. "Fine. But stay inside." He looked at Maddie. "Give a shout if you need me."

She nodded.

"She won"t," Huck said, taking her arm. "I"m her father, Lucas. Remember that."

Both Lucas and Tristan were frowning at Huck, and discomfort prickled through her. There was male posturing happening, and she didn"t like it. "Let"s just go to the living room," she said, not quite wanting to shove a spike between her dad and the Harts. "We"ll stay in sight," she assured Lucas.

He nodded, and she saw the relief in his eyes. "Great."

She took her dad"s arm and led him to the couch in the living room. Tristan came inside, and he and Lucas were in low conversation inside the entry way. She sat down and patted the couch for her dad.

He didn"t sit. "I"d like to talk in private."

"I was attacked, and you were shot less than a day ago. We"re not getting out of their sight."

"I can protect you!"

Ah…she finally understood now. "Dad. Sit."

After a long moment, he sat down on the coffee table, facing her. "Maddie." His voice was low. "We need to get out of here. We"ll handle this ourselves."

She leaned forward and put her hands on his knees. "Dad," she said gently. "We need help."

"No, we don"t. We"ve been fine all this time with just the two of us!" Again, his voice was low, despite his tension.

"Dad. What"s going on?"

He shrugged. "What? It"s fine. I"m just keeping you safe. It"s my job."

"No." She moved to sit next to him on the table, and then she took his hand and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Daddy," she said softly. "I missed you. You"re being a little crazy right now, but it"s good to have you back."

He took a deep breath, and then he put his arm around her shoulder. "My baby girl," he said softly. "I"m so sorry I"ve let you down."

She didn"t lift her head from his shoulder. "You could never let me down."

"Why won"t you tell me what happened with Adam? Is it because you think I won"t support you? Because you"ll always get my support. Always."

She bit her lip, but she knew it was time. There"d been too many walls between them for too long. "I didn"t want you to feel sad or blame yourself."

"Blame myself?" Her dad"s arm tightened around her shoulder. "What happened, Mads?"

She moved to the couch again, so she could face him. She took his hands and held them tightly. "I went to visit him, and I walked in on him getting naked with several women in his living room. I got mad, and he hit me and knocked me out."

Her dad"s jaw dropped, and his eyes filled with pain. "Maddie."

She kept going, refusing to stop now. "When I woke up, the women had left, and I was on the couch. He tried to convince me to stay, but I didn"t. Obviously."

The sadness in his eyes was almost unbearable. "I"ve known him for seven years. I never saw that side of him. I never would have thought it was possible."

"I know. Me, too." She sighed. "I think I felt stupid, too. Not realizing it."

"I feel like I failed you." He bent his head and pressed his face to his hands, his shoulders slumping, as he transformed before her eyes back into the broken, worn-out man he"d been two days ago.

Panic hit her. "No, Dad, no! It"s great. I kicked his ass, and it made me stronger. It"s just one of those things that life gives us to make us more."

He lifted his head to look at her. "Are you happy, Mads? With the store? With our life? I never found you a mom. I tried, but no one was ever good enough for you. I wanted to give you a real family. A mom. Siblings. But I never found anyone. Every night, I wonder if I failed you. You deserved everything, and all you got was me."

Maddie"s throat tightened. "Dad. I love you. I love our life. Our store is everything to me. I don"t need a mom. I have you. That"s all I need." She paused. "But if you found someone, that would be all right with me. I want you to be happy."

He shook his head. "It"s too late for that, Mads. It"s just us." He gripped her hands. "I"m sorry for my obsession with Jacob. I think…I felt he was supposed to be the brother that I couldn't give you. That if I"d gotten him out, then you would have had the family you were meant to have. Maybe he was your biological brother, and I left him there. What kind of father does that? If he was your brother, then I was supposed to be his dad."

She squeezed his hands. "I"m grateful to know about how you feel about Jacob, Dad. I don"t want any more secrets between us."

He touched her face. "I didn"t know if it would upset you. Or if you would be angry at me for leaving him."

This was the conversation she"d been wanting from her dad for so long. Truth. Honesty. Candor. For the first time, maybe ever, she felt like she saw her dad in a way she"d never seen him before. "I might get mad, but you"re my dad. Nothing would ever change that."

He nodded and pressed a kiss to their joined hands, a tear trickling down his cheek. "I love you, Mads." His voice was raw and rough. "Before I adopted you, I was a guy who worked hard, played hard, and never thought I"d ever get married or have kids. I didn"t want them."

She cocked her head, listening. "You never told me that."

"I wanted to be the Director of the FBI. I was in it for life. Nothing else mattered." He paused. "Until I saw this little girl hiding in the corner of this drug trafficker"s house. She was little, scrawny, and she was watching me with her big, scared eyes. Scared but curious. The moment I met you, that moment I saw you, everything inside me changed. I knew you were my daughter. I was your dad. There was no other possibility. After that, everything I did was to get you out of there."

Tears blurred Maddie"s vision. "Dad?—"

"I didn"t tell you about my pre-Dad career aspirations because I was afraid you wouldn't believe me that I could change overnight like that. I didn"t want you to feel guilty, like you"d taken my dreams from me."

She laughed through her tears. "I thought that anyway."

"Son of a bitch. Failed again."

"No dad can control his daughter"s thoughts. You gotta give that up, Dad."

He cocked a half smile. "You can"t blame a dad for trying."

"No, you can"t." She took a breath. "Dad, I need to be honest with you. I feel like this life you chose for me is killing you."

"No." He sat back. "Absolutely not?—"

"I know you love me." She squeezed his hands. "But there hasn"t been a light in your eyes for a long time, not like there has been since someone tried to kill me."

He looked horrified. "I don"t want anyone to try to kill you!"

She grinned. "No, but I don"t think flowers are really enough for you."

"It is?—"

"Dad. You were so angry today in the car. Where did that anger come from?"

He stared at her for a long moment. "You"re my world, Maddie."

"I know." She took a breath. "But I"m a big girl now. You don"t need to stay small for me anymore. What would you do if you didn"t have to watch over me?"

"I"m not going anywhere."

"What would you do, Dad?"

"Nothing else."

She sighed. "Well, think about it, okay? Because I like having a dad who feels like being alive is a good thing. I need you around for the next one hundred years, and that"s not going to happen if your soul is slowly dying."

"It"s not?—"

"Listen to your heart, Dad. What if the best thing you can do for me is to get a passion for life again? Your passion, not choices that you think will serve me."

Her dad stared at her. "I wouldn"t have any idea what that is. You"re my world."

"I know, but you can have two worlds." She smiled. "Even though you were being a rude jerk earlier, I"d rather have that dad than the one who"s dragging himself around."

He flexed his jaw. "I was a rude jerk. I apologize for that."

She smiled. "I know it was from the stress of Jacob and having someone try to kill me, so I forgive you and love you, but I do think an apology would be appropriate." She jerked her chin toward the door, and they both looked over.

She was startled to see that both Lucas and Tristen were silent, watching them. "Have you guys been listening the whole time?"

Lucas nodded without apology. "Neither of us ever had parents. Listening to the two of you was beautiful." He paused. "I didn"t know it could be like that."

"Me either," Tristan said quietly. "Sorry I was rude to you earlier, Huck. I didn"t realize how complicated it was."

Her dad rose to his feet and limped over to the Harts. "I would like to officially thank both of you for protecting my daughter and saving me. I"m sorry for being an ass about Jacob." He took a breath. "Seeing Maddie"s reaction to him made me realize that the trauma from their time in that house was real, and that seeing me could bring back Jacob"s." He paused. "I don"t want that for him. I apologize for trying to force myself into his life."

"Apology accepted," Tristan said.

"Agreed," Lucas said.

Tears filled Maddie"s eyes, and she hurried over and wrapped her arms around her dad"s waist. She could feel his pain. "I love you, Dad."

Her dad put his arm around her shoulders. "Mads, I never understood the trauma you still carried. I didn"t want to see it, so I didn"t. I"m sorry for that."

She nodded. "I know." She took a breath. "We"ll make it, Dad. Right?"

"Right. Always right." They hooked pinkie fingers, and then she threw her arms around him. The hug he gave her was strong and solid, and it made her feel like a little girl, safe in her dad"s arms, always protected, always loved.

It had been a long time since she"d felt like that. Violet jumped on her, whining and wagging her tail. Maddie laughed and put her arm around her pup, bringing her into the hug. "And I love you, too, Vi."

Lucas"s phone rang, and he turned away to answer it.

"Did Violet really rip your attacker"s hand off?" her dad asked.

"Maybe. We left without checking—" Maddie paused when she saw Lucas hang up the phone and look at her. "What?"

"Jacob is willing to meet Huck."

Her dad stiffened beside her, but he turned to look at Maddie. "Only if that"s all right with you, Mads. If it upsets you, I won"t."

What was she supposed to say to that? Tell her dad no? "It"s fine."

"He"s outside right now," Lucas said. "That"s how Jacob operates. He"s here now. If you don"t meet with him now, he might not come back."

"Outside? Now?" Maddie"s dad stood taller.

"Yeah."

Huck looked at Maddie. "You sure?"

"Yes. Go." She stepped back and put her hand on Violet"s head. "I"ll wait here, though."

"I"ll be right back." Huck moved toward the door, and Maddie saw Lucas watching him.

"Go with him, Lucas. Take care of my dad." She knew Lucas wanted to take care of Jacob, but it was her dad"s heart she was worried about. What would happen to him when he saw the boy who had been haunting him for so long? She wanted to go with him, but she couldn"t make herself do it.

Lucas didn"t hesitate. "All right. Tristan, stay?"

Huck already had the front door open, and he was walking out, not waiting. Lucas shot Maddie a quick look, then he jogged out the door after her dad.

Tristan moved to the doorway to watch.

Maddie turned away.